Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Month: January 2018

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 2 – Be an example…

This post is a little late but I’ve been having some technical difficulties and we were away from home for a few days. We squeezed in a quick trip to Cape Town just before Dudie starts school again. More about that in another post on another day.

Week 2: Be an Example

You may know about my journey of 52 lessons for 52 weeks. If not click here for week 1, which is also my introductory post. Week 2: Be an example focused on what example I am setting for my boys. The type of person I am, my character traits. The way I react to situations. The way I handle a melt down. As a parent it is not easy to ALWAYS keep your “cool” BUT you know those little eyes and ears are watching and listening to your every move. Parenting my boys is way more intense than any pressured job I’ve ever done! Be an example…how many times have you heard that? We all know it but do we really live it? I certainly don’t. I try but I falter an fall along the way side often. Here’s an example, Dudie is 8 years old and knows NOT to swear or cuss. As his parents we swear/cuss but we try not to especially in front of the kids. Dudie knows which words NOT to repeat. *High five to us* Now steps in Troll, aka the baby, who will be 1 year old in less than 10 days! Troll is at the mimicking and copying stage and we’ve noticed that he hangs on every word we say, and watches every move we make. He wants to copy us. Now we have picked up that Troll is mouthing the “F” sound…yes that’s right the “F” sound. Not to repeat words like “food, fruit, fun, face, etc” BUT the word he wants to copy is FUCK! Holy moly, we need to watch ourselves!!! We tend to let loose when Dudie is not around but forget we have a baby who is watching and listening.

Learning lessons the hard way

For me to teach myself some lessons, I’m digging into emotions buried way below my inner core…It’s hard, it’s scary but I know I need to do it to better myself. I’m doing it so that my boys will grow up to be brave enough to face their emotions instead of burying things and moving on and rather face whatever situation head on and deal with it right then and there. Case in point, my parents. We don’t get along. We are civil but we don’t get along. We are just way to different. We can be in the same company and not speak for the entire time and I would be fine with that. I don’t know how they feel about it but they are certainly not doing anything about it. I have moved on. Some hard decisions were made for me to be able to live my life. Yes they are the boys’ grandparents and we visit with them when we are in Cape Town but I’m sure as hell not going to break my neck trying to just fit them in to our lives. Some people just don’t work for you, so what would make your parents any different? I know I am raising kids and they might turn around and tell me that I don’t work for them but that is the chance I’m willing to take. A chance to give my boys an unconditional love, a life filled with family – because hey we have lots of other family who loves us and wants to spend time with us. A sincere upbringing to see what love actually is – it’s a feeling, an emotion that overpowers all other emotions!

Putting my lessons out in the universe for 2018

Some might say it’s karma or murphy’s law but since I put out my 52 lessons for 52 weeks I’m really being tested on these lessons. These lessons are not unique to me, I’m sure of it! Neither are they “NEW” lessons. I’m sure most people will find some, most or maybe all lessons something they can relate to. This series is suppose to be a learning experiment for me and hopefully I can find some humor in them and not always be so serious…I find that being an example is huge. I’m raising kids who I hope will someday grow into beautiful, respectful, humble young men. Men who will know how to treat others but not let others take advantage of them. I see them watching their Dad, aka Dude, all the time. I see them watching how he treats me and by golly if they take with them only a quarter of what their Dad is indirectly teaching them, they WILL know how to treat a woman like a queen!

I am not a confrontational person but I have been facing confrontation so often I feel like it may very well be part of my routine. So I’m pulling up my socks and showing my boys how to handle confrontation. Stand your ground. Don’t be a dumb ass. Listen and decipher the information but ultimately deal with the situation right then and there!

Let me continue to Be an example….we are having a pj day 🙂

Spirited Mama

Why I need routine…

My free spirit needs routine?

I love to read. I always have. I can read anything that keeps my imagination and concentration in high gear. Being a mom has left me reading the ingredients on food labels or airfreshner cans or baby products because frankly I just don’t have the luxury of reading as much as I used to. Reading is part of MY routine. It calms my inner rebel. It allows me to escape to a wonderful world of truths and non-truths.

Being a student most of my time was spent reading prescribed books for modules…what a way to kill my creative spark! I’ve never liked the idea of conforming to societal norms. Think of me as a free spirit, also why I decided on the blog name Spirited Mama. Some might say I’m rebellious but this is ME. I can only do ME.

Even parents need ROUTINE

I love making lists. Do I get to everything on my to do list? Uhm, NO. I’m a parent, wife, employee, student, etc…oh and of course you know life happens in between.

I function best when I have routine. Even my kids thrive on their routines. There are days when my routine is out the window and then I get all anxious and just become overwhelmed until I decide to breathe, calm down and just do one thing at a time, albeit small and insignificant. Believe me it makes a huge difference to getting myself back on track.

I CAN perform very well under pressure But I prefer NOT to work under pressure ALL the time. Deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines.

As far as family life is concerned, we have a routine. ALL of us. We know what needs to happen and when. Even Troll gets out of sorts when the routine is not kept to. We are not a rigid family but I try and keep to routine as far as possible. With Dudie being 8 years old it is somewhat easier to “break” his routine from time to time, Troll not so much. But that being said as long as I have food and milk on hand the baby is as happy as a pig in mud.

A routine in draft mode

As we were nearing the end of 2017, things got a bit manic with deadlines and the last of the to do lists…you know the wind down period. So here is when I pat myself on the back for getting myself and my family ready for a new year and new adventures. The new year brings about a senior in Foundation Phase, Dudie is going to Grade 3! How even? It literally feels like I became a parent the other day but now I have a 8 year old who is very independent and opinionated. Troll will be a senior in his class at nursery school. Me – no longer a student! I’m taking a break from studying and will most likely enrol for postgraduate studies in 2019. What will I do with my “free” time? I’m going to sleep at a normal time like most people do. Why? Because as a mom/wife/employee/student etc I studied when everyone was in bed already – you know that life doesn’t stop just because you are studying…Life has to go on and you still need to fulfil your other commitments. Dude might be studying in 2018….

A major shift in my routine

On the work front, there is a major shift. I am moving to a different department! Cost saving and what not were all the reasons I was given by HR. At first I was extremely apprehensive about this shift. I mean I am NOT unhappy where I currently find myself so why would I want to leave? Let’s just say that the situation could have been handled in a different and better manner. I have prayed and thought about it, weighed up the pro’s and con’s but I can say that I am calm and at peace with what is to come. I’m choosing to look at this as an opportunity to grow. Finding my silver lining here, remember I’m doing 52 lessons for 52 weeks this year. If you haven’t seen it, click here With that said, I knew that we do not control what happens in life but we can choose how we react to what happens. No matter how much you plan…

It’s YOUR choice….

For now I need to get Dudie’s and Troll’s school things sorted. And we may sneak in a quick trip to Cape Town before the school year commences 🙂

How’s 2018 treating you thus far?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons

52 lessons for 52 weeks

So we made it to the year 2018! Aren’t we blessed to see it? A new year, new opportunities, to new beginnings and to taking with us all the good/positives from 2017.

There are NO resolutions here

I am not one for new years resolutions. I know not to bull shit myself. I would much rather spend my time and energy on doing something positive for myself and my family without having to fret about a promise I made at the beginning of the year, which I know might only last for the month of January, if even that long. Kudos to those people out there who can stick to their respective resolutions BUT it just doesn’t work for me. I have tried it and failed dismally. Maybe the resolutions I made were not of purest intent. Maybe it wasn’t “MY” resolutions to begin with. Maybe I was jumping on a bandwagon of what I thought would be great resolutions to have…Whatever it was, it just wasn’t working for me.

2018 Intentions

Personally, I prefer to see myself living with “intent” this year. Not that I haven’t been doing it before but I want to be mindful of my choices and be consciously aware of what I am doing/what I am about to do, weighing up the “pros and cons”. I am challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone and dig deep into emotions buried so deep that it makes me breath a little faster just thinking about what I am about to do. Life is never “easy” but when we work at it we are nurturing our souls and strengthening relationships, creating lasting bonds and giving ourselves and others the “best” we can be. I am no easy feat when it comes to showing emotions. I struggle with this. ALOT. Starting of this new year had me thinking… we hear about “living your best life” or live each day like it’s your last” but what am I doing about it to live my best life. What if I wasn’t here tomorrow? God help me, as I long to see my boys grow up and find that special person to share their lives with, perhaps even have a few kids of their own. I decided to challenge myself with 52 lessons for 52 weeks for 2018.

Why 52 lessons for 52 weeks

Well, each and every week for the rest of this year I will challenge myself head on to deal with an emotion/problem that has hindered me in the past. I am not going to delve into my past but I will need to make some tough choices as I hold onto 2018 to live my best life. The weekly post may be filled with raw emotions, snot and ugly cries or perhaps some unicorns and rainbows. I know that it is necessary and I know that I need to voice it. I know that this may be the only way to be better.

Week 1 – Thursday 4 January 2018

None of that new year, new me bullshit. Week 1 – I am focusing on living with intent. I am not perfect but I am trying to be the best that I can be. This week I am focusing my energy on really living and by living I mean trying to find something good/positive in every moment, albeit hard the challenge is to find a positive to create a good memory. It is way too easy to just get pissed/upset if things don’t work out the way we want it to. The challenge is to analyse what is about to/or has happened and choose how to react to it. Choosing a positive reaction that is. Learning a lesson, so to speak!

I cringe every time I hear someone say “new year, clean slate”. I am still me and you have still done xyz to offend me etc etc, so what it’s a new year and we must now just all move on and start afresh? Not in Spiritville. I’m not holding grudges but I do think that it is way too easy for people to just get away with things that may have hurt/offended someone. SO instead of me trying to “fix” what others did, I am starting with me. Fixing MY wrongs, living with intent, consciously being aware of how my actions and reactions may affect ME, and those around me.

Join me in my 52 lessons for 52 weeks and discover with me, uncover with me, and grow with me. I’m petrified as to what I am opening myself up to BUT how else will I learn and grow if I don’t challenge myself to do greater things.

 

 

I would love to hear some of your lessons, if you have any to share. If you don’t want to comment below, feel free to drop me an email spiritedmamablog@gmail.com

 

Spirited Mama

 

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