Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Category: About me (Page 2 of 11)

Why I need routine…

My free spirit needs routine?

I love to read. I always have. I can read anything that keeps my imagination and concentration in high gear. Being a mom has left me reading the ingredients on food labels or airfreshner cans or baby products because frankly I just don’t have the luxury of reading as much as I used to. Reading is part of MY routine. It calms my inner rebel. It allows me to escape to a wonderful world of truths and non-truths.

Being a student most of my time was spent reading prescribed books for modules…what a way to kill my creative spark! I’ve never liked the idea of conforming to societal norms. Think of me as a free spirit, also why I decided on the blog name Spirited Mama. Some might say I’m rebellious but this is ME. I can only do ME.

Even parents need ROUTINE

I love making lists. Do I get to everything on my to do list? Uhm, NO. I’m a parent, wife, employee, student, etc…oh and of course you know life happens in between.

I function best when I have routine. Even my kids thrive on their routines. There are days when my routine is out the window and then I get all anxious and just become overwhelmed until I decide to breathe, calm down and just do one thing at a time, albeit small and insignificant. Believe me it makes a huge difference to getting myself back on track.

I CAN perform very well under pressure But I prefer NOT to work under pressure ALL the time. Deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines.

As far as family life is concerned, we have a routine. ALL of us. We know what needs to happen and when. Even Troll gets out of sorts when the routine is not kept to. We are not a rigid family but I try and keep to routine as far as possible. With Dudie being 8 years old it is somewhat easier to “break” his routine from time to time, Troll not so much. But that being said as long as I have food and milk on hand the baby is as happy as a pig in mud.

A routine in draft mode

As we were nearing the end of 2017, things got a bit manic with deadlines and the last of the to do lists…you know the wind down period. So here is when I pat myself on the back for getting myself and my family ready for a new year and new adventures. The new year brings about a senior in Foundation Phase, Dudie is going to Grade 3! How even? It literally feels like I became a parent the other day but now I have a 8 year old who is very independent and opinionated. Troll will be a senior in his class at nursery school. Me – no longer a student! I’m taking a break from studying and will most likely enrol for postgraduate studies in 2019. What will I do with my “free” time? I’m going to sleep at a normal time like most people do. Why? Because as a mom/wife/employee/student etc I studied when everyone was in bed already – you know that life doesn’t stop just because you are studying…Life has to go on and you still need to fulfil your other commitments. Dude might be studying in 2018….

A major shift in my routine

On the work front, there is a major shift. I am moving to a different department! Cost saving and what not were all the reasons I was given by HR. At first I was extremely apprehensive about this shift. I mean I am NOT unhappy where I currently find myself so why would I want to leave? Let’s just say that the situation could have been handled in a different and better manner. I have prayed and thought about it, weighed up the pro’s and con’s but I can say that I am calm and at peace with what is to come. I’m choosing to look at this as an opportunity to grow. Finding my silver lining here, remember I’m doing 52 lessons for 52 weeks this year. If you haven’t seen it, click here With that said, I knew that we do not control what happens in life but we can choose how we react to what happens. No matter how much you plan…

It’s YOUR choice….

For now I need to get Dudie’s and Troll’s school things sorted. And we may sneak in a quick trip to Cape Town before the school year commences ūüôā

How’s 2018 treating you thus far?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons

52 lessons for 52 weeks

So we made it to the year 2018! Aren’t we blessed to see it? A new year, new opportunities, to new beginnings and to taking with us all the good/positives from 2017.

There are NO resolutions here

I am not one for new years resolutions. I know not to bull shit myself. I would much rather spend my time and energy on doing something positive for myself and my family without having to fret about a promise I made at the beginning of the year, which I know might only last for the month of January, if even that long. Kudos to those people out there who can stick to their respective resolutions BUT it just doesn’t work for me. I have tried it and failed dismally. Maybe the resolutions I made were not of purest intent. Maybe it wasn’t “MY” resolutions to begin with. Maybe I was jumping on a bandwagon of what I thought would be great resolutions to have…Whatever it was, it just wasn’t working for me.

2018 Intentions

Personally, I prefer to see myself living with “intent” this year. Not that I haven’t been doing it before but I want to be mindful of my choices and be consciously aware of what I am doing/what I am about to do, weighing up the “pros and cons”. I am challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone and dig deep into emotions buried so deep that it makes me breath a little faster just thinking about what I am about to do. Life is never “easy” but when we work at it we are nurturing our souls and strengthening relationships, creating lasting bonds and giving ourselves and others the “best” we can be. I am no easy feat when it comes to showing emotions. I struggle with this. ALOT. Starting of this new year had me thinking… we hear about “living your best life” or live each day like it’s your last” but what am I doing about it to live my best life. What if I wasn’t here tomorrow? God help me, as I long to see my boys grow up and find that special person to share their lives with, perhaps even have a few kids of their own. I decided to challenge myself with 52 lessons for 52 weeks for 2018.

Why 52 lessons for 52 weeks

Well, each and every week for the rest of this year I will challenge myself head on to deal with an emotion/problem that has hindered me in the past. I am not going to delve into my past but I will need to make some tough choices as I hold onto 2018 to live my best life. The weekly post may be filled with raw emotions, snot and ugly cries or perhaps some unicorns and rainbows. I know that it is necessary and I know that I need to voice it. I know that this may be the only way to be better.

Week 1 – Thursday 4 January 2018

None of that new year, new me bullshit. Week 1 – I am focusing on living with intent. I am not perfect but I am trying to be the best that I can be. This week I am focusing my energy on really living and by living I mean trying to find something good/positive in every moment, albeit hard the challenge is to find a positive to create a good memory. It is way too easy to just get pissed/upset if things don’t work out the way we want it to. The challenge is to analyse what is about to/or has happened and choose how to react to it. Choosing a positive reaction that is. Learning a lesson, so to speak!

I cringe every time I hear someone say “new year, clean slate”. I am still me and you have still done xyz to offend me etc etc, so what it’s a new year and we must now just all move on and start afresh? Not in Spiritville. I’m not holding grudges but I do think that it is way too easy for people to just get away with things that may have hurt/offended someone. SO instead of me trying to “fix” what others did, I am starting with me. Fixing MY wrongs, living with intent, consciously being aware of how my actions and reactions may affect ME, and those around me.

Join me in my 52 lessons for 52 weeks and discover with me, uncover with me, and grow with me. I’m petrified as to what I am opening myself up to BUT how else will I learn and grow if I don’t challenge myself to do greater things.

 

 

I would love to hear some of your lessons, if you have any to share. If you don’t want to comment below, feel free to drop me an email spiritedmamablog@gmail.com

 

Spirited Mama

 

Motherhood round 2…

Round 2

Becoming a mom for the second time, albeit 7 years later, was like becoming a mom for the first time. The adjustment from 1 to 2 children, for me, was and is major. It feels like I have a house full of kids now.

Never ending laundry…how can we have SO much laundry? Even though Troll sleeps 10 hours straight every night, thank heavens, I don’t. Because I don’t go to bed when he does!

Bring on the routine

Both kids have the same routine. Our supper time is 18:00 – 19:00. Bath time for both kids is 19:00 and then it’s bedtime at 19:30. For my own sanity, my kids MUST go to bed at 19:30 otherwise Mommy is going to lose her shit. We as parents also need a timeout and when the kids go to bed it’s “Adult Timeout”.

BUT during adult timeout we don’t get a timeout, in fact, we hurriedly try and finish whatever needs to be done. Laundry, kitchen, quick spot cleans here and there, and whatever else needs to be done.

Round 2 I thought I had this

Both my kids were induced. I clearly remember the day when Dudie was born. The nurse asking me to sign the epidural consent forms and all I could think about was how nervous I was to birth my child. I didn’t get that epidural as once the show was on a roll there was no stopping Dudie from making his entrance. That baby was born ALL natural, drug-free weighing a 3.4kgs.

With Troll it was SO different. When the nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural, I declined. She reminded me that it was, in fact, an Induction and that labour could get very intense. I said I know. Been there, done that and got the 7-year-old to show for it. I wasn’t as nervous for the birth as I was the first time. What was freaking me out was what about “the happily ever after” when that little person is forever part of our family. The birth seemed like the easy part. The hard part is raising my kids. Troll was born ALL natural, drug-free weighing 4.04kgs.

Same same, yet different

My boys are so similar yet so different. Both unique little beings with their own personalities. What I do know is that my boys are happy. Joy beams from their¬†little faces, so surely it is within them. Don’t get me wrong, they can be monstrous at times but thankfully those moments are few and far in between.

Our lives are busy. And we like it that way but sometimes we need to take a step back and just enjoy the moment. I battle with this and I’m running things in my head and sometimes find myself way ahead of where my family actually is. I am trying to make a conscious effort to be present in the moment. I am making small changes. ¬†I try and spend one on one time with each of my sons even if it’s only a few minutes at a time.

Last week, Dudie told me that he knows that we really love him. Also, he reasoned that I love him 50% and Troll 50%. I said nope, I love you both 100%. His response, well then you have 200% love to give. You have got to love this child’s analytical ability, no thanks to his paternal genes ūüôā

Round 2 concludes…

Thinking back I was very scared of having another child. Purely because I just didn’t want Dudie to share me with anyone else. It is a major adjustment for ALL of us but we are gracefully embracing our new life. We welcomed Troll with so much love that it almost seems like he has been with us forever. He was made for our family. He is the last piece to this puzzle.

Watching the boys together warms my heart. Not only do they share genetics BUT they have an actual bond. A brotherhood. And no one can take that from them. As their parents, we will encourage and strengthen the bond. EVen though Troll is only 6 months old he already searches the room for Dudie.

Motherhood can kick my arse on most days but I am happy knowing that even on those not so great days I am doing the best I can…for my boys.

Motherhood definitely is my best achievement!

Spirited Mama

 

Comfortable in my own skin and body image

I used to be the “skin”ny girl

Once upon a time, I was the skinny girl. In fact all throughout my schooling. BUT I’ve always loved food. There is WAY too much good food in this world to NOT try it.

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, I even had cake for breakfast on most days, until my metabolism kicked my ass and slowed down tremendously. Now that extra piece of chocolate shows up on my hips/thighs/tummy and/or ass. But I am comfortable in my skin. I like who I am even though those dressing room mirrors are very unflattering. My Dude loves my muffin grip. Me not so much but it is a part of me and I do love myself.

Why do we say we need to accept people as they are but we can’t accept ourselves? Is this struggle greater for women that men? Actually, I’d be quite interested in a male point of view. Dude is so proud of his “Dad” physique. He says I took years to get into his shape.

 

Becoming comfortable in my skin

At this stage I am in between sizesūüėĀ Well that’s how I term it. So I don’t have a standard size. One particular cut might be smaller/bigger. I can never just take a size without fitting the item first… I mean come on ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. I buy what fits me. My body. It reminds me of when I bought my wedding dress 10 years ago. I bought an imported¬†dress but it was too big in some places and needed to be altered. The resident tailor in this Boutique store almost had a heart attack as I was drinking a Coca Cola and eating a BarOne…all whilst she was taking my measurements. Her exact words, “What are you doing? You should be drinking water and eating vegetables!” I responded “Excuse me! This dress will fit me NOT the other way round“.

That statement of hers always reminds me to laugh out loud, literallyūüėā. And to NOT take life so seriously. My kids don’t care whether I’m skinny or not. They care that I spend time with them. My husband doesn’t want a skinny wife. He wants a happy wife. And reminds me ALL the time that he loves me and he loves my body just the way it is. Oh, and did I mention that I grew 2 babies with this body?

Body image and what we portray as normal

Back to the point. Kids are so hard on themselves about what the perfect body image is or should. Why? Aren’t we preaching that we are supposed to love ourselves just the way we are?¬†Believe me, I am my WORST CRITIC. I too was in a space of “I need to look a certain way and I’d be happier/enjoy life more/etc”. Blah blah blah. Thankfully, as I get wiser, I seem to care less and¬†less about what I see on TV/Magazines/Instagram/Twitter etc. I do love seeing the “real” people, you know the #nofilter images, no¬†editing.¬†I have nothing against anyone for living a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit. When people ask me if I go to the gym, I aptly respond with I lift 8kgs daily. But it’s not in a gym, it’s at home when lifting Troll. What gets to me is when you are pushed to the point where you feel:

“I must eat this or that”

“I must be on a diet”

“I must go to gym”

“I must lose weight”

The pressure for some is just too much. Some people are just not strong enough to BE THEMSELVES. Some people are blessed with great genes…others not so much. I see the craze about #wellness trending all the time. But what is YOUR wellness? My #wellness is being the best I can be, in whatever shape or form that suits ME. And another thing “who are these people judging you anyway?” What merit do they have? Do they live YOUR life?

Being a wife/mom/employee/etc takes up ALL my time. I’m just happy at the end of the day to sit down and eat my chocolate in peace… Let me be. I’m a fuller version of myself right nowūü§ė

GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. Whichever way you see fit. In the end, only YOU will be answerable for your life anyway.

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am ME. I am UNIQUE.

I don’t want to fit in. I want to STAND out.

Spirited Mama

x

Calories and my fitness Apps

I never have to worry about calories….

Because I never get the full calorie intake for anything anyway. I.KID.YOU.NOT. Someone always wants what I’m having. A consumable can lie in the cupboard heck even on the table in plain sight and NO one will take it…until I do. Then everyone wants it/some of it.

Also, my family controls my portion size for me so there is no need to worry about over eating when they are around. The problem I face is when I am alone…I love to indulge.

Dudie throws me the “sharing is caring” card. Dude throws me the “I always share with you” card. Troll, aka the baby, is just being himself. If he could eat my boob he probably would… #breastfeedingmom

I must admit, I think I bounced back to my pre preggy body much quicker with Troll than with Dudie, 7 years ago. I guess it’s because now I have to juggle 2 kids, a husband, my job and of course Dudie’s schedule. I know it’s terrible but there are days where I only realise when I am on the verge of chewing my own hand that I haven’t had a proper meal for the day.

Somedays I remember to make a shake and drink it during the school run so that I at least have something. Problem is sometimes I forget to drink it too. Recently, I made a conscious effort to drink more water again. Somehow I got to busy to do that too.

My body is signalling me that it needs fuels but my mind is already planning the next to do list. Even though I am through with the current to do list. Life is busy but sometimes I think I just want to be so in control of my life that I forget to stop and take some time out.

My fitness apps are going bonkers with results of “do you want to adjust your fitness goals?, you did not meet your target number f daily steps, you have many inactive periods (granted this is because I don’t always have the damn phone with me)”. BUT it commends me for waking up on time! That’s a plus right? Even though it shows my sleep records are very poor. Somedays I want to crawl into bed at 9am and just sleep but hey life has to happen in between. There’s being mom & wife, running a house, creating a home, etc. We all do it. And somehow we survive.

inspirational-picture-sayings_15918-0

I need my #momcation

I think I need to take a time out. To reflect. To analyse. To gain perspective. To breathe. I know where my priorities lie but I also need to prioritise MYSELF. I need to show myself some self love.

Exciting times lie ahead.

Spirited Mama

Learning to value MY own opinion

My opinion matters

I am learning to value and appreciate MY own opinion more and more each day. There was a time where I too was looking for my parents’ recognition BUT I am happy to report that those days are long gone. And guess what Life has been so much better since.

However, I am my worst critic…

I came across this post over at Tyranny of pink. So well said. It was and is what has been lying in my subconscious for a very very long time. Somehow, I just needed to get over myself and tell myself out old that “I AM ENOUGH”!

Spirited Mama

x

P.S. Tomorrow is #37weekspregnant. Dr will decide tomorrow if the resident alien should come this week or if we can wait until #38weekspregnant. I’m freaking out just a tad as it feels it’s happening too soon…

2016 the year that has been…

fotolia_96290267

(image sourced from google)

As I picked up my proverbial pen to start blogging again, I had a renewed sense of “me”. It was my calm. It was and is my outlet. It is my CANVAS.

This year has at times been trying. It’s been rough. It’s been busy. It’s been great too.

We have lost loved ones…and in turn gained new family members too. It is also the year that we found out that the Spirited family is growing.

As we prepare to create memories of the festivities for 2016, we also prepare for the imminent arrival of a New Year. A new CANVAS. A new baby. A renewed sense of “us”. 2016 is the last year that we are a family of three. We said goodbye to a stalwart in my family “MAMMA”. We have had way too many CANCER diagnoses amongst family and friends. I have gone¬†back to working my half day JOB and frankly I think if I didn’t may have lost my sanity…

Slowly but surely I am accepting “me” for me. I am enough for me. I can only do so much. I too am only human. I found that I have sort of strayed away from God, not intentionally, but I just don’t think I purposely made a great effort to affirm my faith. I am working on restoring my faith. I am taking stock of life and counting my blessings, as we have been abundantly blessed. We have helped some family through trying times but I also think that it’s time to cut myself¬†some slack and let it go. God will take care of it now as I cannot make them do what they need to do.

We had some great holidays and even managed a trip to Hong Kong this year. We are super proud of Dudie for completing Grade 1 this year. For all his achievements in academia and sports – this kid really did work hard.

So cheers to 2016 – the year that has been. You are etched in my soul. Looking forward to 2017! To less worrying and more time for making and creating memories…

Spirited Mama

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

images-2

If PROCRASTINATING was a job I would be a millionaire. No kidding. I am AMAZING at it! I am also AMAZING at working under pressure and to strict deadlines. Today, my brain feels bleh, yet I have so many things that I can say or talk about. I am just not finding the right words to express myself.

I am trying to tidy up my office and get my admin on track because soon I will be going on maternity leave and I would really like to let to let the temp start on a clean fresh slate. And hopefully that temp will reciprocate…. when I am due to return to work.

I have loads of personal admin to sort out too. I still have to organise the¬†resident alien’s nursery. I still haven’t packed our hospital bags @ 32 weeks pregnant (hyperventilating here…) I am having more and more Braxton hicks. And by golly some of it is getting intense. Also, we are doing minor revamps and touch ups at home. And just for the fun of it, we still haven’t figure out what we are doing for Christmas.

So just for today I am taking the day off. I am cutting myself some slack and pretending that I am a millionaire today! I can literally feel myself winding down as it is that time of the year to wind down, reflect on what has been, create some festive memories and start afresh with a renewed outlook on life.

Spirited Mama

Memories

 

Memories need to be savoured

Some days I find myself sitting quietly and reflecting and savouring my happy childhood memories. It wasn’t all moonshine and roses but I chose to remember the good old days…

I remember that fresh baked bread smell and warm biscuits smell coming from Mamma’s kitchen. Stealing half the cookie dough that was left to “rest” when Mamma wasn’t looking.

Some of my best memories were created during school holidays when we went to visit Ma, Mamma’s mom, on the farm in the Cederberg. There is nothing quite like running out in the wild, diving into God made rock pools and picking your fruit straight from the tree and collecting your veg from the garden. There is also that other side, the one that freaks me out a little, about having to slaughter your own meat. I never ate freshly slaughtered meat. Just couldn’t stomach that meat. Don’t get me started on seeing a headless chicken running around the¬†tree – it’s great fun at the time but then they expect you to eat it. No can do. ¬†Up until today I still don’t like freshly slaughtered meat, fresh milk and fresh eggs – it is just too rich. Nothing quite like picking those cherries from the tree – I love cherries – and I used to eat it to my heart’s content. These days they just don’t taste the same…Picking Almonds from the tree. My pockets were always filled with cherries and almonds and you would generally find me sitting on a big rock watching the pigs paly in the mud. We used to love feeding the lambs and billy goats their milk bottles.

Reflecting on the memories

I remember Ma making me rooibos tea, not a teabag from the shop. This was pure rooibos from the tea field complete in her home made little bag and all. And of course those “harde koekies” she used to bake. It wasn’t ginger but I’m also not entirely sure what they were. ¬†I distinctly remember her last batch she made for me, she was in her 80’s and it was just before I moved to Gauteng. She came to visit Mamma and as we stood in the kitchen waiting for her to unpack her basket she said to me “ooh jchent¬†“meaning kind or child” maak tog vir jou¬†moer koffie want daai¬†koekies¬†is so hard en moet gedoop word. And believe me it was moer hard. I ate¬†them with the same conviction as what I always ate those cookies. I didn’t want her to be disappointed…but fuck knows why that batch was SO hard.

Ma also had a puffadder, yes a real live snake, living in the big tree in front of the house. like right by the gate -you need to pass the tree to get to the front door. She called him Oupa. He used to slither on the stoep to wherever he went during the day and come back at night. And this was¬†whilst Ma and the dog would sit on the stoep. They never bothered each other. They had a mutual living arrangement. I shat myself thinking we used to sleep on that stoep, in summer under the beautiful starry skies. Where was Oupa all that time… Probably sleeping on the bed next to us…

Creating new memories

After I moved to Gauteng¬†I used to have weekly Sunday afternoon calls with Ma. I just wanted to check in on her so to say as she lived by herself. I could hear the excitement in her voice every single time as this was as important for her as it was for me. She always said that I must come visit her cos she will NEVER get into an airplane. And she never did. If there was a storm MA would end our conversation so quickly because we cannot possibly use the phone during a storm. She would close all the mirrors and the tv with a blanket because of the lightning. Before they got “Telkom lines” they had an operator system. How each resident knew whose call it was, was beyond me but apparently everyone had a different ring tone/number of rings. But let me tell you those old people were naughty – they used to listen in on each other’s conversations all the time. Sometimes we had a few calls during the week too.

Ma passed away in 2010, just before her 94th birthday. Someday we will take him back to the Cedarberg again, as he was only 5 months old when we went to the funeral. I miss those good old days. I miss her cookies and I miss her rooibos tea. I miss her cuckoo clock – this thing was the most fascinating clock ever. I even miss those rogue geese and ram that used to chase us ALL the time.

I miss Ma.

Spirited Mama

 

Thankful Thursday

I thought instead of a normal blog post I would do a roundup of what I am thankful for today….

img_0621

Thankful Thursday Roundup

My Dude, Dudie, resident alien.
The family and friends in my life right now.
The cooler weather in Pretoria today.
Electricity because whilst I should be studying I made an omelet and I’m watching Lucifer on catch up.
My health, wealth and prosperity (I think I am very blessed).
My home, my bed, food and all my creature comforts.
We only have 6 school days left for 2016.

The little bouts of rain making our garden come alive again.
I have little over 10 weeks left before the resident alien joins us in this realm, well that’s if he stucks to his due date. (I am hoping I can have a natural birth again)

Sometimes life gets very busy and very often I forget to just reflect and be thankful for my blessings. So before I get too lazy, let me get off this couch because I have quite a busy day….
I want to check out the new revamped @MenlynMall and of course @H&M and @KrispyKreme all before I go for my 4D scan of my resident alien.
I also need to factor in study time, so I still need to inform Dude that he is on supper duty, I have an exam tomorrow morning.

Be thankful for what you have…I have so much but I am afraid I could go on writing until infinity if I really set my mind to it.

Spirited Mama

Page 2 of 11

© 2012-2018 spiritedmama.co.za All Rights Reserved

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: