Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Category: Drivers

Taking to the streets

Why I’m taking to the streets

I decided that I just simply can’t afford to work anymore. Soon I won’t be able to afford the trip to work and back daily… So, I’ve decided that I’m taking to the street alongside a colleague with this sign board…..

P.S Credit for this note goes to my colleague who for now we’ll call “Smiley”

 

 

DO NOT WANT MONEY

 

DO NOT WANT FOOD

 

DO NOT WANT CLOTHES

 

I WILL ACCEPT FUEL OR

 

A PRELOADED E-TAG

Spirited Mama

Why I want to be a race car driver

I should’ve been a race car driver in another life

I am convinced that I was a rally/F1/Emergency services driver in a former life. True, I kid you not. I sometimes scare the crap out of me with my driving skills.

I like speeding. No, I love speeding. There is someting unexplainable about the pleasure/thrill/adrenaline rush I get when I speed.

<In one session with the therapist she mentioned that growing up in a dysfunctional household you get a certain “high” in certain situations and for me, currently, driving <read: speeding> is my fix>

I only speed <sometimes drive like a hooligan or “padvarK” when I’m alone in the car. Really. I do not speed when I have my son or any passengers with me.

But I do need to ask – Why is it that people insist on:

Driver habits that gets to me

1. Changing lanes without indicating? YOU have indicators for a reason other than them being ornamental!

2. Holding up traffic? yes, who made you the damn traffic police to govern my speed limit? If I’m moving faster than you, get out the way! Please!

3. Why do people all drive next to each other when there’s a moerse gap between you and the car ahead of you? Do you like to frustrate other drivers?

4. Why oh why do we have to constantly have to step on the brake? When there’s really no reason to. You know when you’re now on cruise control and the traffic comes to a grinding halt and you’re left wondering WTF? “cos there’s absolutely nothing out of the ordinary?

5. When there is an accident scene, please proceed as normal ‘cos most of time, due to curiosty, people ‘cos accidents by just looking at other accident scenes.

<You know in GP, it is almost guaranteed that the traffic will conme to a halt when there’s an accident. Then when you drive by the scene you realise that the accident is on the O.T.H.E.R SiDe of the Fckn Highway??? Really? WTF?

6. Now, I’ve worked myself into a frenzy and have no clue where I was going with this post.

Anyway, there are many drivers,like me,  out there who share my sentiments (And if no one is willing to stand by me that’s OK too) about driving. Let us be please.

Spirited Mama

What not to do whilst driving…

1. Do not adjust the seat whilst driving!  seriously, wait until you can stop at a garage/parking lot.

So my husband buys a fancy double cab and I’m quite comfortable driving and parking it. Then one morning as I left the driveway, I realised that I was not seated comfortably and needed to adjust the seat. I assess the situation and decide that I’ll do it at the traffic light which is 700m away. Bonus – light is red when I get there. Now to figure out how to adjust the fkn seat with all these levers around me. I touch something and fall back. I mean I was flat on my back. Cracking myself, just lying there with tears streaming down my face as I LOL’d at myself. In the mean time the light had changed and there was a queue behind me. No one dared to hoot/or be impatient as everyone just stared at this bakkie standing at the traffic light, locked and idling, but no driver in sight!True story.

2. Do not wipe your hands with wet wipes!

So as I leave the Daycare centre, I back out of the parking lot and realise that my hands are sticky. Not sure why but as a parent I find this happens often with me having no recollection of why my hands are stickY! So as I’m driving in an extremely busy road, I reach for the wet wipes. I wipe. And then suddenly the cars in front of me come to a screeching holt! I step on the clutch & brake and grab the gear lever hoping to put the car in neutral. FAST. Total fail as my hands were still wet. My hand slip over the gear lever and the car is now jerking and revving. I quickly rub my hands on my seat and apologise to all the other drivers who looked at me probably thinking – “new driver”! In fact I’ve had my licence for years now.

3. Do not remove shoes whilst driving!

I consider myself a good driver. <remember this is my opinion> I can drive with shoes/bare feet/boots/slops/stilettos – really it makes no difference to me. But one day I had this damn itchy feeling under my foot which I really really needed to scratch immediately! So whilst driving I think cool it’s a straight road and I could just casually remove the left shoe and scratch foot. Win – win situation. N.O.T. As I’m removing my shoe I realise that I need to make a left turn to take the onramp to the highway. So I try to manoeuvre my hand to the gear lever and my foot (with the shoe half on/half off) to the clutch to gear down and take the ramp. OMG! My shoe bends over backward and get stuck so my foot can’t reach the clutch. I decide Fck it! I rip the gear lever with so much force that I didn’t need to use the clutch for a gear shift. I have not and probably will not try that again.

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