Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Category: Dudie (Page 2 of 3)

Siblings – building solid lasting relationships

The thought of Dudie growing up alone has always haunted me and for a very long long long time I wrestled with the idea of having another child. Well 2016 was apparently the year that we decided was a good year to grow Spiritville. In case you were not aware, yes we have a resident alien aka baby, due in Feb 2017…

The idea of having another little person to take care and be my responsibility until the day that I leave this earth is causing some lots of anxiety. But the idea is growing on me and luckily at a much faster rate than my belly…We are excited and nervous and happy and scared all at the same time. There is no handbook to guide you to raise your perfect little angel. We can only hope and pray that what we are doing and teaching our kid(s) will be sufficient for them to become admirable, strong, focused, resilient young adults someday…

Another pressing thought that has been weighing me down is the age gap between Dudie and the resident alien…they will have a SEVEN year gap. Now, I have always said that I am not cut out for two babies and if I ever had another child I will not have them on top of one another. A seven year gaps does give me some sort of a paralysed feeling because doing the math I realised that we would have a teenager and a toddler in the house. When Dudie starts high school, grade 8, then the resident alien would start grade 1…

This morning I found an article on ALL4WOMEN, fostering a strong relationship between siblings. It resonated with me not only because I have a sibling and although we have a 9 year age gap, I’m the older one, but also because I don’t think my parents actively tried to foster a stronger relationship between us. We, my brother and I, are steadily working on our relationship currently. Perhaps my parents just thought that we were generations apart and that they were unsure of how to salvage the gap in our relationship… I am keeping my anxiety at bay and trying to be proactive to foster a relationship between Dudie and his unborn brother…Oh yes, IT’S A BOY!!!

images (2)

I will constantly try my best to ensure that MY TWO boys will know that they are blood brothers and no matter what nothing and no one can take that away from them. What they make of their relationship is up to them but for as long as what I am around I will encourage, love and support their relationship.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Mamma had a biopsy but now we wait with baited breath. We will only know what the plan of action/way forward is next week once all the doctors have decided…If you missed it then read the post When CANCER happens…My family fights back

Tooth fairy never visited us last night….

Omg, the tooth fairy never visited us last night. It was a complete fail on us as the parents as we totally forgot about the tooth fairy….

Now, Dudie is 6 and happily believes in the tooth fairy. And for our own sanity we let him. I mean I was shattered when I found out that the Tooth Fairy, Santa and the Easter Bunny were not real….I will let him believe as long as his imagination will allow.

So Dude and I fetch Dudie at school yesterday and Dudie pipes up “Mom, look at my tooth.” Now this very incisor has been loose for a while but not quite ready to be removed sans Dentist. So I said ok that tooth is ready to come out, let Dad take it out. For the record I don’t pull teeth. Never have. Never will. I will nurture and teach you the importance of hygiene and how to take care of those pearly whites but I WILL NoT pull teeth….

So in the school parking lot Dude takes on the mission of “Incisor extraction”. I say guys really there will be blood and we are in the parking can this not wait until we get home? Dude says  no cos he wants to go to Pick n Pay Hypermarket and Dudie says Mom, you try pulling my tooth…. I very firmly tell this child that I will not pull that tooth and 1,2,3 Dude pulls the tooth and Dudie yells, “Is there blood? Mom let me borrow your little mirror.” Yes there was blood. Yes I took a very quick look and said well done Dudie another tooth is out and soon another big boy tooth will be there.

We proceeded to go do some random shopping for light bulbs at Pick n Pay Hyper, yes we drove past many smaller shops where we could have found required light bulbs but Dude NEEDED to go to Hyper. Alas we bought a trolley of food and unnecessary things but hey let me not complain about being blessed.

back to the tooth fairy. So Dudie puts the tooth in a little box and under his pillow and goes to bed last night, with high hopes of a visit from the tooth fairy.

This morning low and behold Dudie was a complete monster when we had to get ready for school and work, bear in mind Dude leaves very early so we don’t see him in the morning. So I had a complete WTF moment, we have been having these mornings more often than not and I just had enough. Now, I pray for patience and I thought Lord, is this where I exercise patience? Well, after a altercation with mom and a very stern loud voice, Dudie shedding crocodile tears and feeling sorry for himself shouting I hate you, you the worst mommy I ever knew. I find this child sitting in the bathroom all sad. He says the tooth fairy gave me nothing. Omg, we completely forgot!!!

I jumped at the opportunity and explained, “remember I told you before that the tooth fairy watches your behavior. Maybe she wasn’t happy with your behavior and thought maybe you needed some reminding to behave better?” So let’s get done and get you to school. Perhaps think about your behavior and attitude and try again tonight. Maybe the tooth fairy will come by tonight.

Some days I just feel that parenting is soooooo hard. It tests me, it pushes me, it grills me, it tires me, it challenges my being, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I love my child but whoa sometimes I feel like I have no idea of what I’m doing….

How much does the tooth fairy give per tooth these days? I used to get 20cents and that was a small fortune back then. Sometimes even up to R1/R2 per tooth. Lol….

cheers

Spirited Mama

P.S. So Dudie was late for school. I walked him to his class and told him that he can own up for his actions and explain to his teacher why he is late today. I will not be going into the class as I am not responsible for this action. At least my child knows to man up for his actions.

When My 3yr old says “Mom, you’re boring!”

I had to stop myself from responding with WTF. I know I’m a paranoid parent. I’m the one who worries that he’s get hurt. Dad is the cool fun playful one. They play and I thank the Lord that I have a son ‘cos OMG a girl child would’ve been beyond tomboy… And besides I don’t have a sister. And my mother never did any mother/daughter things with me so I really wouldn’t know what to do with a girl child… When I watch them “play” my Dude says, all whilst rolling his eyes at me and with a not so subtle tone in his voice, what does Mommy say – Just remember – someone always gets hurt…

<I just spent 10minutes explaining to our executive home assistant, aka Maria our helper, that I would really appreciate it if she could handwash 1 of Dudie’s polonecks as it is soiled, looks like he swam in the sand! She was ok with this instruction when I left for work but she’s been frantically searching for this grey sweater that I specifically left on Dudie’s Bed in plain sight. And I did mention that its on his bed. She’s called me 5 times and after I tried to explain its the fck grey poloneck on the bed, I do not swear at her -promise- I may curse under my breath but not directly at her. She calls me back to say she’s found it so she’ll wash the blue jacket. BLUE? WTF? I said it’s ok just leave it I’ll sort it out tonight. I think she picked up on my irritability and called me back again and said she’s found the grey sweater. Swell – let’s see shich item she’s washed when I get home>

Anyway, I try to do fun things with Dudie. For example on Saturday I told him let’s paint. So I drag out the paint stuff and whilst Dude was braaing (barbeque-ing) we painted or lets just say Dudie painted over my pretty blue sky and green grass.. sigh. I let him be cos that’s how he paints. So after reading Tanya’s post on Cool “kid” things that adults should do, I was wondering what other parents out there are doing with their kids. These are the things we do, I took these from Tanya’s list:

Pop the bubbles in bubble wrap – I looovvve this. We have a massive roll of bubblewrap in the office and every now and then I take some home 🙂

Jump on a bed – Dudie and I cannot resist. Especially when we go on holiday! We recently spent a small fortune on our new bed so I’m definitely not jumping on that bed.

Jump on a jumping castle – Errr, we kinda broke Dudie’s Jumpolene….Maybe that’s why they say for kids under 6 yrs only.

Have a water fight – Errr, every night at bath time. Water guns, jugs, cups whatever is available will be used to scoop water and throw at any human or animal form passing by

Jump in puddles – Dudie says I need Wellies but this Mam wants some Hunter Boots

Run through sprinklers (clothed might be more appropriate) – we did this the other day. Bad idea cos its cold in Gauteng. Winter is coming

Blow bubbles – Love this. We do it all the time. We even did it on the beach in George…

Enjoy an ice cream cone with sprinkles and sauce, or even a soda float – Late night Ice-cream treats. On Sunday we started with ice-cream and chocolate ice-cap. And we’ve had it 3 times this week too

Finger paint – We don’t do this often enough

Have a midnight feast – This is reserved for Dude and I 🙂

Camp out in the garden – We set up Dudie’s tent in the lounge so we camp in the house

Make biscuits in animal shapes – Oooh this is a hit with Dudie. My Dude’s colleagues have requested that I make those animal biscuits again. Dude always take s treats to work so his workforce knows what I’m capable of…

So what “fun” things do you do?

Spirited Mama

Where to find a holiday school?????

Help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Dudie has started Grade 000. Great! All is going swimmingly BUT!!!!! This is a huge BUT! We love his school and his teachers. But this might be the last year that he is there. They have a Private Primary School but it is not on our route. It’s actually way out of our way….Although, on the plus side they give preference to the kids in their Nursery School.

Dudie has been accepted by a very sought after Montessori Nursery school for 2014. Yay! But, I’m not sure that I want to move him there because we don’t want to move him there and then move him again when he has to start Grade 1…. So I really think that I should let the school know that we will not be taking that spot….sigh….

We have been doing the research and we have found a few independent schools, that we really like but it will curb our spontaneous getaways(sob sob)…..

Can you recommend private schools in Pretoria? I’d really appreciate personal experiences….

We do however have a DARK Cloud looming…What do you do about holiday times? I don’t have a nanny/domestic that I can rope in over the holiday. Our family lives in Cape Town. So we basically fend for ourselves in GP. Currently, his school only closes for December but we do take frequent breaks during the year, in case anyone thinks that my child is at school 340 days in the year 🙂

Are there any holiday programmes available in Pretoria? Holiday Schools? We will take leave as and when possible but I would really like to know what other working parents do????

For the record I’m not comfortable leaving Dudie home with a caregiver even if it is family because of:

a) our swimming pool (yes, he does take swimming lessons but he is no olympian)

b) our beloved dogs (we do not leave Dudie unattended with our breed)

c) I don’t want him catching up with soapies during the holiday time ( I would prefer that he be stimulated with age-appropriate activities)

So this is my dilemma… Please let me know how you manage to survive work/parenting/life…

Spirited Mama

P.S. I’m looking for new employment closer to Pretoria as I commute daily. I am more than willing to take a back office, sit quietly and just not be seen but still get MY salary every month…. SO if anyone is hiring, please shout!!!!!

The case of the missing Oxtail Potjie left overs…

So you may have read about how I ended up at Wilgers ER but don’t fret I’m ‘A’ for away. No rest for the wicked….

So in between all the fine dining, drinking, partying, just living in true spirited style my Dude made us some delicious Oxtail Potjiekos. (For those who do not know what I’m referring to – You cook your food in a cast iron black pot over coals(firewood/coal fire). It is mouthwateringly tasty. I generally feel that left over Potjiekos(about a day old) tastes way better…

potjies have to be so expensive? We bought a flat based pot to make “Potbread” but is yet to try it out…>

Back to the point. So one day last week, I decided we are cleaning out the fridge, eating all edible left overs and chucking the rest. The spirited family (Dude, Dudie & I) gather in the kitchen and we take on the Fridge! We ate watermelon, cheese, desserts, yoghurts, mango, peaches and then we find the ‘Oxtail”….Ta da da dam! So Dudue decides we’re gona warm it up and go sit down at the table like civilised people who are about to share the most delicious food ever….(As most men, my Dude suffers from “I-Do-NOT-KNoW-WHAT/WHEre- ANYTHING-I’M-Looking-FOr-BUT-I-JUST-HAD-IT-A-Minute-AGO- SYNDROME!) I’m not kidding – he will stand infront of his closet stare at his shirts and continue to ask me where his white shirt is? WTF? It’s right there staring back at YOU! Or the infamous – WHere are my shoes? Really? Like you wore them so how the fck should I know where you put them.

Amidst the cleanup – he asks me “where’s the Oxtail?”  This is how it went down:

Me: How should |I know? You just had it…

Dude: But I put it down on the counter… Now it’s gone!

Me: You know how you misplace things…. Maybe you put it back in the fridge?

Dude: I’ll check. Fck, I just had it.

Then we realise Dudie is no longer there…. So we go searching. We find Dudie sitting infront of the security gate feeding the dogs… yes, the oxtail….Dude runs to rescue it but alas it’s too late. They have devoured 60% of the contents and Dudie is now screaming frantically that it’s for the dogs. We surrender the food and leave him to feed the dogs. We ate crackers with cream cheese… BLEH….

Note to self: Watch child around food. Dude will feed those dogs ANYTHING! As a baby, I was once caught him sharing his dried mago strips with the one dog. He would lick it then let her lick repeat process. True Story. I shudder to think what else they may have shared. Recently, i caught him trying to feed the cockatiels chicken and the drumstick bone…. I calmly said, baby They don’t eat themselves chicken. They will get very very sick. I’m sad to report that our one bird has passed on but we do not know the cause of death…

Spirited Mama

P.S. I’m very busy at work at the moment and hardly have time to pee nevermind lunch. I got to work an hour late this morning, due to delays with the GAUTRAIN!!! Thanks a mil!

P.P.S. My cousin had a baby girl yesterday!

Feel Good moments

So I saw this on someone’s profile and absolutely had to steal it 🙂

This sums up exactly how I feel each and every time I look at Dudie, and being showered with hugs and kisses….. Gets me everytime. tehre was ever a spontaneous hug/kiss/holding hands/etc from either parent…. But that’s one of those sad posts and definitely not fit for today.>

 I love you to the end of the earth and back, baby boy! ALways and forever. Never too much!

Love

Your Mom

P.S. I adore the fact that he makes me late every single morning because he makes me walk back to his door, because he didn’t “good morning me”… That means he wants to kiss me again. This can take a while some mornings!!! And even though I think that we are so late, I still share “our” moment.

P.P.S. The Dudie has now resorted to calling Dude and I by our first names. BUT only in public spaces. At home we are mom and dad. This child is way to smart 🙂

 

He embarrassed me….

Ok so Dudie is a talker… more like talk your ear off talker….

We really do enjoy how well versed he is. And he can hold his own in a conversation. But….Those little remarks about what mom & dad do and what he doesn’t do sometimes has my cheeks slightly rosy.

Exhibit A: Checkers Wine Ad on TV

Dudie: Mommy – What’s that?

Me: Wine

Dudie: Only mommy drinks wine. I drink juice and water… And nesquick but mommy drink wine.

Me: And Daddy?

Dudie: Daddy drink cooldrink…..

<The Dude gave the Dudie and extra hug just for that statement>

Exhibit B: Beer Ad Billboard

Dudie: Only Daddy & Mommy drink beer. I drink juice and water.

Me: Yes boy Daddy drinks beer. Not Mommy!

Dudie: YOu did!!!!

 

Exhibit C: Public Declaration

(I fetched him earlier yesterday and the playground was full of kids and staff)

Dudie: Only Mommy and Daddy drink Beer! Not me. I drink juice and water.

I gave up trying to salvage the situation. This kid will say what he wants to when he wants to. When I got home we did a run through the shops. Went out for dinner. Got home and bathed and put Dudie in bed within record time.

As I plonked myself on the couch, I just don’t have the energy to study right now, Dude brought me an ice-cold Brutal Fruit and a box of Ferrero Rocher 🙂 Luckily Dudie was already asleep…… 🙂

 

 

After Parties and fairies

So Dudie turned 3! We did a small intimate lunch on Sunday at home. The weather was awesome and we had the jumpolene out too. Thank Gloria, no one requested to swim ‘cos Dudie still has a post nasal drip cough thing going on… Anyone know what I can give a 3yr old who suffers with Sinusitis… ( I really don’t want him on long term meds but even I have to take antihistamine daily…)

After everyone left, we hurriedly gave an overstimulated and exhausted but very happy Dudie a bath. He fell asleep whilst I was dressing him. He truly was sound asleep as the dogs kept barking at his window but he didn’t even bat an eyelash.

On Monday, we slept a tad later… Dudie and I had breakfast together and I took him to school for his official party. We took cupcakes, chips, juice and fruit squares…. He loved it. They even made him a special birthday crown. On Monday afternoon, he got  to open his gifts and we had left over cake AND ice-cream. Together. For Dinner. Not as we had hotdogs too…………. We really over did it. And I can feel that my black pants had to stretch over my thighs this morning. Our baker, my friend’s 11yr old daughter, made us a delicious chocolate cake decorated as a soccer field. And 24 matching cupcakes. What an awesome cake… And yummy too. I will have to download some pictures to post.

On Fairies:

I have a fairy tattoo. Although, Dudie always asks to see my “Dragon”. So I’ve decided to get another tattoo and I wanted it to be my birthday gift from me to me… Well my birthday is the 19th.  Even though I have a general idea of what I want I’m still unsure. I’ve used the Tattoo parlour in Menlyn but since they no longer exist I need to know if anyone can recommend a reputable shop? In Pretoria. Preferably, the EAST. Please.

SpiritedMama

P.S. Yesterday’s morning conversation with Dudie:

Dudie: Me a boy, Mamma a girl, Daddy….. I don’t know

Me: Daddy is a boy.

Dudie: No. Daddy not a boy.

Me: Daddy is a Big Boy.

Dudie: No, Daddy NOT a boy. Oh, there’s a Cement mixer….

 

Celebrations

So after all our gallivanting…. and after a lovely Heritage Day in South Africa, it’s back to grindstone.

I’m hungry for more. More sun, fun, laughter, holidays…. So instead of doing my ‘WORK” I’m browsing the net for suitable holidays 🙂

On Monday, Dudie will be 3!!! This morning we came up with our plan of action for his birthday celebrations. On Sunday, we will have a few people over for lunch. My friend’s daughter will be making a cake. I will post a picture next week. All I can say is that the baker is 11yrs and she’s into the “Cake Boss” big time. Hopefully the weather is good and we can put out the jumping castle and maybe brave our first swim for Spring????

On Monday, we will do mini cupcakes and treats at school as the Dudie has been asking about a party at school for a while now. I’m trying to get leave for the day. Plan is to spend the morning with him and then I have to STUDY!

On Monday evening, we’ll brave our Spur and watch how the Dudie soaks up the limelight when they sing for him. My big boy is turning 3. 

In other news, Dudie asked whether he could have a brother and a sister for his birthday????? OMG! Did my child not get the memo that he was going to be an only child?

Happy 4 day week folks. I can’t wait for the celebrations to start.

P.S. Last year the night before, I hung banners and decorated my lounge with balloons and name boards, pop up posters and more. Much to the Dudie’s delight when he woke on his special day. This year I plan to do the same. And we are so having cupcakes for breakfast again….Think I’ll do home-made red velvet cupcakes(this will be my first attempt)

P.P.S I’m putting together a gift list for Dudie and I’m battling a bit. I’m more for educational toys than anything else. But it seems my child has other ideas… Any suggestions welcome. I mean seriously, how much Legos can one child have? Or trucks and diggers!!! If anyone knows anyone that I can arrange a site visist and a ride in a truck, please let me know. That could possibly be teh best gift ever – Taking him to see trucks, cranes, diggers….

P.P.P.S My exams are fast approaching and I need to get my A into Gear and figure out a study roster!!!!

Swimming with the fishes

A few years back, Dude decided that he wanted a fish tank. And if you know about fish tanks, you need to have an established stable eco system before you can add fish. Technically, you set up your tank with everything except fish. Let it run/stand for a few days then add fish. Well, my dude didn’t listen. And he added almost 30 fish instantly. And needless to say they started dying… That was an expensive exercise but a lesson well learnt.

Fast forward a few years and in November/December last year he decided to get another fish tank. He got an established tank with fish from a friend who was relocating. Well, those fish died. (I think they were neglected ‘cos they looked pretty sad when they arrived) Dude tried everything but they didn’t make it. So he decided that he’ll breed snails until he knows what he wants to do with the new tank. Then last weekend, some of the bigger fish picked and nipped a Bala shark and Dudie noticed that the shark was stuck.

Half his tail was gone. They literally bit it off. So we run to start operation shark rescue. After we all tried to catch this shark in the net, this bugger was fast, Dude eventually got him and ran to the other tank to deposit him safely into his new home. (This looked like a scene straight from ER – I kid you not)

So now Mr Bala Shark lives in peace and harmony with snails.

Last night, Dudie starts crying. So we follow the sound ‘cos you can hear that this is a seriously sad cry with snot…. We find him at the tank and he’s crying because that sharks wants to go swim with the other fish. He doesn’t want to be alone. He’s unhappy and distraught and we are trying to explain that his tail was bitten and he needs to recuperate on his own blah blah blah… Then my Dude says, Look! Do you see that his back tail is broken. “Back tail”. Really , I cracked myself and asked so how many tails does a fish have? He just smiled. Don’t you just love how silly one can get when you’re trying to explain something?  I must admit, it’s not as funny when I make the mistake…. I’m don’t want to  be wrong and I take things way too seriously. But hey, maybe that’s how we balance each other. Or complement one another.

So Dude promised Dudie that they’ll go buy a fish friend for the shark tomorrow. And Dudie was happy tat Mr Shark will have a friend. Alls well that ends well.

Happy Friday Folks.

P.S. This morning Dudie sounded like he was chanting a spell of some sort… When I asked him what he was saying, he responded “Daddy, please can I have my puppy? I want to play with my puppy” I promise I had nothing to do with it and I did not in any way indicate to this child that he will get a puppy today. (We have discussed it way way way before but Dude wa snot keen as we already have dogs.)  He practised how he was going to ask his Dad for a puppy???

I alerted Dude, after I dropped Dudie, and Dude responded with a ‘Maybe we get a rabbit for now”????  We’ll see how that goes down with Dudie…

Page 2 of 3

© 2012-2018 spiritedmama.co.za All Rights Reserved

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: