Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Category: Family (Page 2 of 5)

CANCER WON….Mamma lost

CANCER WON (1) – Mamma lost(0)

Sadly on Sunday 28 August 2016 at 04:22 am Mamma breathed her last breath of life over my fingers. It was a bittersweet, surreal, peaceful, quiet, but so very special moment that we shared. One last moment with my Mamma. I will miss you ALWAYS!!!!

Only two weeks after the diagnosis was confirmed Mamma had lost the battle. She was a brave and strong willed woman. If you missed it you can read When Cancer happens

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS. L

My heart is broken. I cannot do not want to imagine my life without you….but it is a bitter reality I must face. My heart breaks for Dudie who cries and cries for you.

It seems like a bad dream but everytime I want to call you up and remind you to pack something for our upcoming holiday at the end of September….I remember that I will never speak to you again. I will never hear your voice again. I will never hear you laugh again. And I will never see you smile again.

We have so many wonderful memories. And those memories I will treasure forever. But what I wouldn’t do just to have one more day with you…

Spirited Mama

P.S. I will  do a proper post dedicated to Mamma soon. Right now my whole being is broken.

When CANCER happens…MY FAMILY FIGHTS BACK!

So in my family we have been dealt a low blow this past Sunday.

Here’s a rough breakdown of the lead up to this past Sunday

2014 – My mom’s younger sister, aged 44 at the time, was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. Almost immediately had a mastectomy and chemotherapy followed by radiation therapy. In 2015 she was cancer free and we had a huge family celebration in her honour.

2016 – My mom’s youngest sister, also aged 44 at time of diagnosis, is diagnosed with breast cancer. Almost immediately,May 2016, had a double mastectomy. She is cancer free and will not be having chemotherapy nor radiation therapy. Last Sunday, the family had a huge celebration in her honour. Unfortunately, we missed it as we live in Gauteng and had already decided and booked flights to Cape Town for 5 August. I was sad that I missed it but something was knawing at me that we should just stick to our original dates and go to Cape Town as planned on 5 Aug.

So earlier this year I had a mammogram and sonars to check if there is anything to be concerned about… Well there are some minor issues but it’ll be monitored very closely. The doctor suggested that someone in our family should do the genetic test for CANCER. Well let’s just say that if the test results are positive and we have the cancer gene well then it’s a matter of When and not IF you get cancer. Let me just say that medical aids DO NOT cover the test and its about R10 000….So the youngest sister was waiting for confirmation from her medical aid to see if they were willing to assist with any sort of payment for this test… WE WAIT patiently.

Back to the past weekend, my Gran aka MAMMA (I literally feel as though she is my “real” mother. Dude says that I am like her 7th child) has been on/off sick with flu then apparently gall stones. On Saturday we see my Gran and we were shocked to see that she did not look well. She had lost weight and she was just not looking like her old self. She laughed and joked with us for a few hours and eventually we left. On Sunday, we get the call that she is not well and will be taken to Casualties. So most of the family treks to the hospital to go see Mamma. (Bear in mind that we have a very very  very big family. Security was taken aback that we ALL came to see the same person). We arrive to find her smiling smiling and all happy and bubbly in casualties. They do some tests and inform us that her liver is enlarged and is pushing against her lungs, which is causing difficulty breathing. Later, they discover a huge mass in her left breast and now suspect breast cancer. They run some more tests and think that it may have spread to the lungs… They have been doing tests ALL the time. We wait to hear the final results and what the way forward would be.

On Monday we visited Mamma in hospital and spend as much time as possible with her, given that we only had limited time and were  only allowed in one at a time. I got a brief period to tell her that I love her. The hardest part was saying goodbye as we had to come back to Pretoria on Monday evening. I told her that once we have more clarity on this  situation I will fly back to come see her.

Mamma is our go to person. She is the MATRIARCH of this family! She is So incredibly strong for all of us. She is happy and bubbly but I worry that none of us are there after visiting hours. None of us really sees what she is enduring. None of us knows what she is going through for as long as what I have been on this earth Mamma has always been smiling. (Hou altyd die blink kant bo – roughly translated into always keeping a brave and happy face) never letting it show if anything gets to her or gets her down.

I have been crying ALOT and as I sit here now I just can’t help myself… I have prayed and given this situation to GOD. As much as I want Mamma to make a full recovery, I don’t want her to go through any unnecessary trauma of surgeries etc…My biggest fear is her quality of life after surgery(ies)… I have seen what CANCER can do and it’s not what I want for Mamma. Mamma is the type of person who will be here the one day and gone the next. And everyone that knows her will know that that is how she wants to be remembered. All I want is for HER to make her OWN decision as to what she wants to do. This past weekend I saw that my family might not accept Mamma’s decision…and I worry that they will bully her into something that she did not want. It’s the hardest decision to just let go and let GOD be because we all want more time with a loved one but like I said it kills me to think of what quality of life she might have afterwards… Nothing has been finalised and no decisions have been made as yet.

I pray for my MAMMA…

Spirited Mama

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This was a random image I found on Pinterest…

LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE MAKING OTHER PLANS…JOHN LENNON

So it was officially women’s day yesterday, 9 August  and yes I know there is alot of history behind but I will spare you the info (click here if you need to know why we celebrate women’s day). I just wanted this day for myself. You see I don’t have to do the usual school run or even go to work. Bless the government for giving WOMEN a special day and making it a public holiday. <Dear Government, My Dude is very pissed at you. He wants to know why MEN don’t have their own special day. But we will continue this conversation on another day…

So I wanted to lie in bed and have a hearty breakfast of Ferrero Rocher but alas….Let’s just say that my family has been dealt a few blows and we are still in shock and trying to just come to terms with the situation….

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On the other hand I have been receiving random emails about The Working Mothers Expo. Now initially I thought I was being spammed as usual. Probably someone wanting to hack my credit card but I ‘ve got news for you….you won’t get much >LOL! But it seems this expo is legitimate. I have been reading up on it and I am actually intrigued to find out more about it.

If you are interested go check it out The Working Mothers Expo. It’s happening 4-6 Nov 2016 in Sandton, Johannesburg.

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY to all the WOMEN out there. Enjoy you day off…

Be beautiful. Be brave. Be YOU!

Spirited Mama

P.S. I have these little conversations with myself, in my head, all the time. So I have now resorted to giving myself an inspirational pep talk. How do you like my motto for now?

Be beautiful. Be brave. Be YOU!

P.P.S. I had a draft of this post but I just couldn’t bring myself to log on yesterday. I edited this post because of course now it was completely out of context. Many tears were shed yesterday but I read somewhere that “tears are liquid prayers”. Today I feel a sense of calm but yet the uncertainty and anxiety is eating at me…Today might not be a great day but perhaps tomorrow will be. I will try again tomorrow.

 

Our resident ALIEN…aka baby

YES, we are having a baby. It’s happening. This baby will be making an appearance very close to our 10 year wedding anniversary. So what an awesome gift! When I showed Dudie a scan and an early foetal development video he aptly responded….is that the baby? looks like an alien.

Of course everyone is totally beside themselves with JOY and so too am I . I was very reluctant and hesitant but it seems things have a way of working out for the greater good. I am longing and yearning for this baby as much as Dude and Dudie.

It’s going to be an adjustment as it’ll be like starting over. Dudie will be 7 when this baby arrives.
So here’s to us having a super awesome sorted baby routine in no time….Hey don’t judge I can wish can’t I. At this stage I can’t think of sleepless nights, breastfeeding, purity and nappies etc…

Spiritville is growing…

Spirited Mama

P.S. did I mention that I will be in my final year of studies when this baby arrives…OMG we will cross that bridge when we get there.

Hello world…..I am still here

Hello…..

I am not even sure where to start but I am truly amazed that I can still remember my password to log in to “my precious” blog.

Apologies for being MIA but I have been a bit busy. Things have been crazy, sometimes normal, sometimes odd and emotional and sometimes just chaotic. We have had holidays, changed school grades and I started working full time again.

I have checked on my blog from time to time but somehow I just did not have the energy or perhaps the courage to blog. I have missed it though. It was a part of me that needs to be nurtured again. As I am growing wiser(well older) I sometimes feel sort of beside myself. Like I am having an out of body experience. I am standing on the outside looking in on my life. I feel “left out” of my life sometimes.

So I am slowly but surely finding my way to getting myself back on track, if there even is a track… I am not unhappy on the contrary I am in a happy place. I just feel that I have so much more to offer myself and my family that I am willing to search for “that key” to unlock that potential.

At least it’s FRIDAY!

Spirited Mama

P.S. A recent conversation with Dudie:

Dudie: Mom, if Daddy dies you need to marry a new husband.

Me: Why? I don;’t need a husband to raise my offspring.

Dudie: You must cos who will be my Daddy then?

Me: But you have a Daddy and if he dies you will have a Daddy in heaven. But wait what if I die, can Daddy get a new wife?

Dudie: NO! You are my Mommy and I don’t want a new Mommy.

Needless to say Dude was not very impressed with Dudie’s reasoning. LOL. But Dudie assured him that he is the bestest Daddy in the whole world and he says thank you to GOD for his Daddy.

What THIS Mother wants for Mother’s Day!

Cotton pyjamas would be nice – off white or any colour as the white only looks white until the first wash! What is it with the water in Gauteng?

An abundance of Lindt chocolate…

A morning of sleeping in… even if just until 9am – as much as I like waking up to Dudie’s soft voice stating “it’s wake up time guys at 6 sometimes 5 even 4am!!!! (thankfully this happens more than the shrieking noisy wake up call/sometimes a cry – I think he has bad dreams…/poking at my eyes/ears/nose/moth/tummy/etc)

A warm breakfast. Uninterupted, without having to feed anyone.

Sweet treats. Cake and Pringles for breakfast and maybe an ice-cold coca cola for BREAKFAST without having to feel like I need to set an example for Dudie. I want a fck coke for breakfast! And chocolate cake! Ice-cream! Pringles – the Original flavour! I DON’T want to share MY Pringles!!!!! MINE mine mine!

A shopping spree would be great. Pity my bank manager won’t allow it. sigh… I so need a new wardrobe..

Oh and a new kitchen would be nice and whilst they making dust we may as well extend the house too.

And some bubblegum steri stumpies would be awesome!

I really can’t complain ‘cos my boys spoil me ALL the time. Fortunately, I do not have to wait for Mother’s Day. What is is with making people feel guilty and telling them YOU have to spoil/appreciate YOUR Mother on Mother’s Day??? You should be thankful EVERYDAY! You should Appreciate YOUR Mother everyday.

Now, some of you might know that I don’t exactly have a blissful Mother/Daughter relationships… ours is more like ‘wtf? were you thinking? doing? going to do? it’s like a business transaction. It’s not filled with hugs and emotions. It’s kinda of emotionless… Let’s not even go into my Mother in law, whom I haven’t spoken to in a few months. Let’s just leave it at that.

But that being said, I have a Gran whom I love to bits and who loves my family to bits. I have Aunts – my mom’s sisters – who treat me like I am their daughter and I love them for it! So let’s not wait for Mother’s Day to show appreciation to whomever it may be that is close to your heart. Let’s appreciate them NOW.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms on Sunday 12 May 2013. Hope you are appreciated, even if just on Mother’s Day.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I defend Mother’s Day the same way my Dude defends “16 Days of Activism for NO violence against Women and Children. <This is only my and his opinion. In no way am I condoning any violence against any human form or even animals>In short he says it just fcked up ‘cos technically what they saying is for 16 days lets ‘Love” each other but what about the rest of the year? Is it ok to fck each other up then?  Guys let’s appreciate. And let’s give credit where it’s due.

Seattle Coffee Company.. I seriously love you!!!!!

So our new ok it’s not new but it’s still new as a family affair – is our Coffee dates at Seattle Coffee Company. I love coffee but a good coffee almost as much as I love chocolate. And I love hot coffee. Now just to clarify, before anyone call the welfare and the health inspector and who ever else need to be called when a child is involved… WE DO NOT give our child coffee. We substitute with Milo or hot chocolate or a Baby Foamy 🙂

Dudie, loves his coffee. That could possibly be one of the first words he learnt to master as he always saw either Dude or myself with a cup in hand…. Yes, we go through a crap load of coffee and let’s not forget milk….. I’m still looking for a cow, if anyone has any just standing around doing nothing… So ever since my child could talk he would ask for coffee.

So every now and again, and I noticed that it’s becoming a regular must have on a trip to Menlyn, we absolutely MUST NEED HAVE TO HAVE coffee. I would generally get the Latté, Dude gets a Café Mocha and Dudie well it’s either a hot chocolate or Baby Foamy. And we recently discovered the yummy apple cinnamon muffins – YUMMMMYYYYY! As I do not have any sugar in my coffee I will spoil myself sometimes with a Café Mocha too…

I’d like to think that we are becoming regulars and sometimes it’s a quick in out dash to get coffee and sometimes its a sit down and just unwind with your coffee… The best part is seeing the pretty images they create in your coffee cream – from flowers to smiley faces. These guys and girls are really talented. And it’s fun to see the excitement in Dudie for the surprise picture that awaits… Thank you Seattle Coffee, you make my family happy!!!!

 

 

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*This post is in NO way sponsored. We are just really loving Seattle Coffee. I told Dude, We need to go to Seattle to try this coffee in its hometown…. I’m working on getting him to take us to Seattle…

OOh, I think I need to do a quick detour on the way home.

SpiritedMama

P.S. Dudie bought the Russel Hobbs Red Edition Coffee Maker. Now whilst this is not Seattle Coffee and there’s no one to make me pretty pictures in my coffee, this is seriously my vice in the early hours of the morning. You get woken up by this freshly brewed coffee in the morning. Dude programmes this machine and sets it up before bed every day so that we wake up to fresh coffee. When Dude leaves for work and Dudie is having his second sleep in my bed, I sneak into the kitchen, pour a big cup and snuggle on the couch with my coffee. That 5minutes of pure bliss. It’s quiet and peaceful….well sometimes the birds interrupt my peace and quiet but I’ve now just learnt that I do not open them up until I’m ready to leave….

P.P.S Did I tell you that I get up at the crack of dawn to bake muffins/cupcakes or whatever treats I think the boys would like… Not everyday, but they love me so much more for this….They wake up to fresh baked treats…. I jsut nee dto figure out where I can find someone who wants to treat me…

RED Coffee Maker

Laryngitis and Lindt Chocolate Bunnies

Ok, so after we attended my brother’s wedding in Cape Town we got back and I was still feeling under the weather… Ok ok, that’s an understatement. I was “vrot siek”!!!!

I got back to work on Tuesday, I was supposed to be at work on Monday but due us not being able to get seats on a flight home we spent and extra day in Cape Town. We did nothing but behave like tourists. We went up Table Mountain. We went to Lagoon Beach in Milnerton. Had drinks at Wang Tong… Then off to Canal Walk where somehow we ended up at Cape Town Fishmarket and had the yummiest food…. Yes we were hungry but the food was glorious!

We headed back to my Aunt’s place and laughed and chatted and repacked and got ready for bed… (we were to be at the airport at 4:30am — SERIOUSLY— as we were on standby and we didn’t want to miss a seat to get home).  We I fell into bed just after midnight and when my alarm went off at 4am I was dead on my feet.

We left a little late but got there just after 5am waited and eventually was told that we will be put on the next available flight. Now bear in mind that it was Post Cape Argus Cycle Tour weekend and getting a seat on a aeroplane is well almost impossible  – even to those who paid the full airfare… So I took Dudie t the side, we played in the terminal building a bit, the boys went to get coffee and we ended up flat on the floor very close to the standby counter drooling over our weekend pictures.

Dudie eventually drifted off to sleep on my lap.  <Why do we always need to pee at the most in opportune times? Murphy!!!> Luckily, we were checked onto the 7am flight so it wasnt too long of a wait. When we left on Friday morning it was raining in Pretoria. When we landed in Johannesburg it was raining! WTF! We got home. Unpacked like SPeedy Gonzalez, and all fell into bed for a nap!!!! We woke late afternoon and teh boys went to get takeout whilst I tidied up a bit.  We packed and got ready for work and school and just had hot baths and back to bed.

It was a tiring yet amazing time spent with family. We created memories that we will treasure forever. And my Dudie is strengthen his  with the family more and more…. <We’ll be back in April guys>

But back to the point. I managed to get through my work day, without a voice on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I headed to the Doctor, as a precaution because the voice was just not coming back. And I lost it the previous Friday already….Well, turns out my vocal chords were badly swollen and with all the bugs, colds and flus going around I was not doing myself a favour by going to work. I was booked off for the rest of the week with strict instruction to stay in bed and rest. As Dudie was also suffering with post nasal drip for 2weeks things in the Spirited Household was not all fun. interrupted sleep. Snot. Coughs. Aches and pains… And just when you think you’re on the mend someone gets the sniffles again…. I was about ready to put us all into a freakin bubble.

I had intended to do the 21km “Old Mutual Om die Dam” race at Hartebeespoort Dam on Saturday but was given a very firm “NO Racing” instruction by the GP too. So what do you do when you are booked off sick???? I absolutely can not stay in bed for more than 24hours unless I’m hospitalised and they force me to. I have too many other things that I want to do than lie in bed all day 🙂

This is what I did:

Wednesday:

Drop Dudie at school, late of course. Off to the GP. Get home. Administer meds. straight to bed. Fetch Dudie as the guilt just get s to me that I can’t fetch him everyday cos I get home too late.

Thursday:

Drop Dudie, even later than yesterday. Off to shops to pick up few thing. Off to Makro, for a road trip must have – another cooler box just smaller cos we need a plug in “inside” too. It’s just no fun having to stop to grab stuff from the back. LOL. Fetch Dudie early again….

Friday:

Drop Dudie midway through his music lesson – total mommy fail….LMAO! STraight to the shops. Hunt for that perfect bikini 🙂 I found one. Just not convinced it’s  “that” one. Off to other shops for a jacket that I made the store assistant locate on the system for me. Fetch Dudie and veg out in the lounge. We even set up the tent in the LOUNGE! That’s how we roll…

Amongst all of this Dudie was loving the fact that I couldn’t talk…I couldnt say NO or reprimand him. I raised my voice a few times out if frustration for the boys but they obviously didn’t even realise that I was upset…. I consumed copious amounts of Lindt chocolate Bunnies, this is in preparation for EASTER! Of course. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. LOrd knows you can go into shock when you consume too much chocolate. So I was not about to take a chance.

I’m still a bit croaky but on teh mend. I’m at work but ready to dash out of here to gp pack for our Road Trip.

We’re road trippin tomorrow!!!!!!! Happy Dance!

Spiritedmama

P.S. I need to do soem work but will post soem pics from our Cape Town trip soon.

Road trippin

Amongst all the craziness and business of life – We are going on a mini break!!!! Whoop Whoop!!!!

I’ve booked accommodation at Sudwala Lodge Mpumalanga.. Initially, I thought we might travel sans Dude, as he might NOT be getting leave… But he’s on leave too 🙂

This will only be my second trip to Mpumalanga and I’m totally elated with the thought of  a mini road trip. breakfast/lunches at the Food stops/Wimpy/Steers/etc (I’d be happy to have a pie and coke from the Garage too.) I’m making a list of things to do whilst we are in the are, so if you have any suggestions please feel free to share….

Dinosaurpark – a real must for all three of us 🙂

Sudwala Caves – although I don;t know if Dudie is going to “dig” this….

God’s window

The Kruger National Park – I’m so close how could I not go there….

I’m also taking our passports along just in case we decided to cross the border….

Any suggestions for “things to do”?

We’re counting down the sleeps and making big black “X” on the calendar days that have passed. Watch out MP, we’re coming for you…

Spirited Mama

P.S. Do we need to take malaria meds?

P.P.S. Other exciting news is that I’m planning our “Annual vacation for 2013”. It’s rather late as we said we’d do it early in the year, maybe March, but we’re going to Mauritius in June!!!!

The Struggle…

Today was one of those day s where I needed motivation, and to just keep calm, etc etc. Briefly, Dudie decided to pee in my bed… of course this happened after Dude left for work. I felt the warm sensation against my leg. I got up, showered and then woke the sleeping child who was not in the least disturbed by sleeping on his pee????

I bath child, ask 100 times that he please brush his front teeth! This is my daily battle. I proceed to put sheets and jammies, mind you I just put fresh linen on the bed yesterday!!!!, in the washing machine. Eventually, Dudie gets going and I try to get dressed. Well first pants I put on, too big, second pants hugs in all the areas I DID not want it too, third time lucky I choose my normal black pants and grey top.

I hurriedly look for the car keys only to realise that my darling husband had them yesterday and drove off this morning with car keys in his bakkie! Thank Gloria we have spare keys. I locate them and proceed to pack car. I get the Dudie out of the house and TA DA!!!! The freaking fuel reserve is on! WTF! I swear that thing is faulty. Saturday I had a 1/4 tank but this morning it was empty? We did not drive the car yesterday?(Note to self – get car checked)

I decided that I’m late as it is… MIght as well stop now for fuel. Garage 1 – the queue stretches into the main road. Garage 2 – success. We get helped almost immediately. One guy fuels us up and one starts cleaning the windscreen. Only the guy was done with fuel, swiped my card, only to have his colleague dash off to help someone else and leaving me with a half washed windscreen. I left with a half washed windscreen!

I drive 200m and I’m stuck in gridlocked traffic. Up until now, I don’t know why! BUT my 7km drive took 55 mins this morning!!!!! I get to school, only to confront the Vice-Principal about a bullying incident. (I’ll post on that later) My Dudie is soft spoken and loveable, he will not fight just because! So we wait to hear the outcome on Thursday after all the meetings!!!!

Thank Gloria Dudie was happy and merry and a pleasant fellow passenger. I get to the Gautrain station. Now, I’ve missed 3 trains and I’ve made peace that I’m running late…. But our train made an unscheduled stop outside a station and there we sat on the tracks.  So apart from my brother’s shocking news that he’ll be getting married in 4 weeks and my Dude’s sister being a biatch…. my day was rather eventful.

Upon getting to work, I decided enough already… We always try and solve the world’s problems, ok mainly family but you get the point. And it ALWAYS impacts US as a couple/family. We stress and fret and worry and they carry on. Happily living their lives. Well I’ve had enough. I will NOT bend over backwards for my brother and his girlfriend, who just told me that she insisted that they get married!!!! WTF! They have a child who’s turning 1 in April. So why rush into a wedding? I told my Dude that his sister is a mental biatch!

And then I remembered this….

The struggle you are in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Don’t give up!

So I keep my head high. I’m going home to MY Dude and Dudie. And I will bask in the magic of MY family! We are a spirited family but we LOVE hard!

Spirited Mama

xoxox

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