Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Category: Women

Comfortable in my own skin

Once upon a time, I was the skinny girl. In fact all throughout my schooling. BUT I’ve always loved food. There is WAY too much good food in this world to NOT try it.

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, I even had cake for breakfast on most days, until my metabolism kicked my ass and slowed down tremendously. Now that extra piece of chocolate shows up on my hips/thighs/tummy and/or ass. But I am comfortable in my skin. I like who I am even though those dressing room mirrors are very unflattering. My Dude loves my muffin grip. Me not so much but it is a part of me and I do love myself.

Why do we say we need to accept people as they are but we can’t accept ourselves? Is this struggle greater for women that men? Actually, I’d be quite interested in a male point of view. Dude is so proud of his “Dad” physique. He says I took years to get into his shape.

At this stage I am in between sizesūüėĀ Well that’s how I term it. So I don’t have a standard size. One particular cut might be smaller/bigger. I can never just take a size without fitting the item first… I mean come on ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. I buy what fits me. My body. It reminds me of when I bought my wedding dress 10 years ago. I bought an imported¬†dress but it was too big in some places and needed to be altered. The resident tailor in this Boutique store almost had a heart attack as I was drinking a Coca Cola and eating a BarOne…all whilst she was taking my measurements. Her exact words, “What are you doing? You should be drinking water and eating vegetables!” I responded “Excuse me! This dress will fit me NOT the other way round“.

That statement of hers always reminds me to laugh out loud, literallyūüėā. And to NOT take life so seriously. My kids don’t care whether I’m skinny or not. They care that I spend time with them. My husband doesn’t want a skinny wife. He wants a happy wife. And reminds me ALL the time that he loves me and he loves my body just the way it is. Oh, and did I mention that I grew 2 babies with this body?

Back to the point. Kids are so hard on themselves about what the perfect body image is or should. Why? Aren’t we preaching that we are supposed to love ourselves just the way we are?¬†Believe me, I am my WORST CRITIC. I too was in a space of “I need to look a certain way and I’d be happier/enjoy life more/etc”. Blah blah blah. Thankfully, as I get wiser, I seem to care less and¬†less about what I see on TV/Magazines/Instagram/Twitter etc. I do love seeing the “real” people, you know the #nofilter images, no¬†editing.¬†I have nothing against anyone for living a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit. When people ask me if I go to the gym, I aptly respond with I lift 8kgs daily. But it’s not in a gym, it’s at home when lifting Troll. What gets to me is when you are pushed to the point where you feel:

“I must eat this or that”

“I must be on a diet”

“I must go to gym”

“I must lose weight”

The pressure for some is just too much. Some people are just not strong enough to BE THEMSELVES. Some people are blessed with great genes…others not so much. I see the craze about #wellness trending all the time. But what is YOUR wellness? My #wellness is being the best I can be, in whatever shape or form that suits ME. And another thing “who are these people judging you anyway?” What merit do they have? Do they live YOUR life?

Being a wife/mom/employee/etc takes up ALL my time. I’m just happy at the end of the day to sit down and eat my chocolate in peace… Let me be. I’m a fuller version of myself right nowūü§ė

GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. Whichever way you see fit. In the end, only YOU will be answerable for your life anyway.

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am ME. I am UNIQUE.

I don’t want to fit in. I want to STAND out.

Spirited Mama

 

Learning to value MY own opinion

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I am learning to value and appreciate MY own opinion more and more each day. There was a time where I too was looking for my parents’ recognition BUT I am happy to report that those days are long gone. And guess what Life has been so much better since.

However, I am my worst critic…

I came across this post over at Tyranny of pink. So well said. It was and is what has been lying in my subconscious for a very very long time. Somehow, I just needed to get over myself and tell myself out old that “I AM ENOUGH”!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Tomorrow is #37weekspregnant. Dr will decide tomorrow if the resident alien should come this week or if we can wait until #38weekspregnant. I’m freaking out just a tad as it feels it’s happening too soon…

Put your best “leg” forward with Adriansa

*sponsored*

A little while ago, I received some products to review. I don’t know about you but it has become more and more apparent and important for me to trust fellow human interactors to review products. I am NOT just going to splurge my hard earned cash on something just because…well ok we all have certain things that we buy just because. BUT there is definitely an increase in consumers needing trustworthy opinions and reviews.

I received a package from Adriansa

adriansa

“Adrian South Africa was born out of the need to provide Women In South Africa and Africa with stylish leggings and stockings.¬†The Factory Adrian Fabryka Rajstopy was established in 1984 in Poland.¬†Currently the second largest manufacturer of high quality ladies hosiery in Poland and supplying global multinational brands Adrian has become a truly global brand.¬†Created, Designed and Owned by Women. Adrian is the only women owned establishment manufacturing and employing mostly women in its manufacturing plants throughout the world.¬†Our monthly production of tights, socks, leggings and hold ups exceeds 1 million pairs in all the latest fashionable patterns,colours and trends.¬†Our Award winning products can be bought all over the world and now right here in South Africa.¬†Adrian South Africa is a partnership between Adrian Fabryka Rajstopy Poland and Adrian South Africa ‚Äės CEO Mrs Nasrin Ebrahim Ismail in empowering South African Women.”

Adriansa has already featured in GLAMOUR guides, you can read the article here.

Now let me point out that this is not your conventional blackmail or bare beige stockings as we know it. This is fashionable and sexy indeed. These days pregnant women can be fashionable. The maternity leggings are really comfy and soft to the touch. What I love most is the “mamma pouch” as I call it. It supports my ever growing belly and it fits comfortably over my belly.

The Tania stockings (they all have individual names) Рbesides a fashionable pattern, has a reinforced crotch which is a bonus as I generally tug and pull on my stockings to get it to fit just right. A very interesting fact is that it is marked left and right, in the crotch to ensure you know which leg goes where. (Somehow this has always bothered me cos I never knew the front from the back or if I was wearing my stockings the right way around.)

Have you heard of the world famous CupofSox. Generally, I don’t buy such longs socks as I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and most socks just feel like it’s choking my legs. However, CupofSox are light weight, breathable and very comfortable around my legs. Guys these socks actually have a refreshing scent. The secret to keeping that scent is to store your socks in its cup after you have washed them. Did you see the pretty birds on them? Also, I think it constitutes a cool gift-so much better than your¬†average pair of socks.

I also received the kit ray- it’s a bottle sock, which essentially is a bottle warmer. Now I am most excited to try this one out for the resident alien, but it seems Dudie has decided he will just help himself to this one. He uses it to keep his drinks warmūüėĀ

Also included was the Shapewear with anti-cellulite effect. If I wasn’t #30weekspregnant I would be wearing it right now…but I will most definitely be trying this once the baby is born. Who would want to try this Shapewear?

Adriansa has a fully functional online store, you can shop here. Did I mention that this product is endorsed by European standards… You will find the leggings, stockings, maternity wear, Shapewear as well as CupofSox but you will also find they are introducing some new products like Handel Street-the uber leather duffel bags.

It’s not all about women either. They have a mens range too – Meggings for men. Go on have a look, www.adriansa.co.za perhaps you could be your own “secret santa”….

Happy shopping.

Spirited Mama

#freethenipple

img_0619@freethenipple Have you seen this? Are you aware of it? What do you make of it?

I wrote a post about Empowering Women, you can read it here, and it just so happens to be based on my opinions and thought about gender equality or rather gender inequality. This past Sunday, @carteblanchetv did a segment on the #FreetheNipple by founder Lina Esco. Here is a snippet of what Free the Niple is about, just click here.

Even though we claim that we live in a society where we preach gender equality, are we really seeing women and men as equals? Lina Esco even made a movie about the campaign.

Out of sheer curiosity, let’s do a poll:

Spirited Mama

P.S. This also brings me back to a question that surfaces ALL the time – What is SO wrong with women breastfeeding in public? If you are hungry, you get something to eat. You eat in public don’t you? So why can a mother not feed her hungry child in public?

Empowering women? Are we really ready?

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This was a random picture my Dude sent to me. Roughly translated “Once upon a time there was a woman that wasn’t full of shit. But that was a very long time ago… and it was only that one day“. Unfortunately, he caught me on a day where I felt I needed to reinforce my independence and I then replied with this

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Roughly translated “Once upon a time, men used to hunt and make fires and didn’t get involved/butt in“.

So the phrase “empowering women” has been on my mind for a long time. Are we, as a society, really ready to empower women? Are we giving it our best shot? Or are we doing it half heartedly because someone said we must?

More and more women are doing what was once considered “the man’s job” in previous times. Does it look like more and more men are ok with women moving into “their” domain? I am all for being a liberal independent woman. My Dude sometimes gets upset because he wants to do something for me but I am not helpless. I can do some things for myself, thank you very much. It doesn’t make me any less of a woman and it surely doesn’t make¬†him any less of a man, well that is my opinion.

I am me. I am strong. And I am strong willed, sometimes just stubborn. I will do what I need to do for myself. Because I can. And because I like my independence.

Some women actually do a much better job, in different domains, than a man would do. Yet somehow women are still not seen as equals to their male counterparts. Has society indoctrinated us so badly that we only see women as being barefeet, pregnant and standing behind a stove? From personal experience, it was typical of some of my working environments, the males felt threatened by women in top positions. Are men really still intimidated by their woman’s paycheck? Is it really SO bad if she brings home the bacon?

Why do people frown upon a SAHM, stay at home mom? If you can afford it, why not? If that is what you want to do. No one will raise your kid(s) the way YOU want to. What about stay at home Dads? Has society accepted it? These dads are so few and far in between. Why is it that men are some of the biggest critics of stay at home dads? Does it really take away your manliness? Balancing family and a career is tough. In my opinion, something has got to give. Whether it is time spent with family or chasing that dream JOB. The aim is finding YOUR balance, your ZEN. What works for you and your family might not be ideal for mine.

Whatever happened to having an equal partnership with your spouse? Co-existing in unison, peace and harmony. And hopefully surrounded by love.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I suspect that the USA wasn’t quite ready for such a liberal move as having a female president. Were they scared? Who knows why the America got TRUMPED.

Happiness vs my full time salary…

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Money is not everything BUT it sure does make everything a bit easier!

I am battling with a huge decision to go back to working half day. Working half day = half the salary

Now, this is not a new venture as I had this same debacle when I changed¬†jobs in 2013… It was very beneficial to my family as Dudie¬†got the best of his mom. Now here I sit at the crossroads again

The resident alien is due in February 2017. Of course I can justify taking the half day job to give the resident alien the best of me too. I am just scared shitless as I would again take half a salary. Only difference this time – I have another person to take care of. Yes my Dude is AMAZING. And happily supports our family but I have this huge chip on my shoulder called “Independence”!

In January this year, I started working full time again and boy oh boy did my extra salary come in handy…SHit we even acquired another property…

What kills me is that for me my family comes first. I have a flexible work environment but I do feel that I am doing the resident alien an injustice by working full time. In more ways than one, I have technically made my decision already but I just can’t help but worry about balance sheets and bank statements.

This morning I came across this post, Being a stay at home parent is a luxury, on Harassed Mom’s facebook page and people the lights went on! This describes how I have been feeling. How I am currently feeling. Why do I need to prove anything to anyone? I had my cushy fancy job at Wits Univeristy and I traded it for a half day job. I must admit I felt worthless. Some days I still feel as if I am wasting my talents in this job BUT if I look at what it means for my family the benefits outweigh the title

Why do I need to prove anything to anyone? I had my cushy fancy job at Wits Univeristy and I traded it for a half day job. I must admit I felt worthless. Some days I still feel as if I am wasting my talents in this job BUT if I look at what it means for my family the benefits outweigh the title any day! ¬†I am there for every match, practise, knee scrape and concert! Dudie is sooo¬†flabbergasted if I say I ¬†won’t be able to come watch something that fo him it is incomprehensible…how can Mom NOT be there? I just can’t imagine having the crazy¬†full-time job and 2 kids at home, homework, supper, bath time and hope and pray that the husband and I can squeeze in some “us” time too.

The resident alien is coming. I think I need to give him the best of me too. Who knows perhaps I can find alternative income sources soon. At this point, my brain is fried but I need to take stock and perhaps sit in a quiet spot somewhere and figure¬†out what is out there/ what I can bring to the “proverbial” table in the world.

I have been doing some research and perhaps I am looking in all the wrong places. I found the workingmothersexpo. Think I need to get myself there to find some inspiration!

Why is it so hard to be a working mom???? Change is inevitable. CHANGE is coming! I am scared BUT I am excited!

Spirited Mama

Kievits Kroon for some R & R

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On Thursday 6 October, I headed to Kievits Kroon Country Estate and Spa for some much needed R & R… It has been a bit busy in Spiritville and then there were some changes on the work front, not my doing but we Dude and I will manage, we somehow always land on our feet. We have some contingency plans but looking at the bigger picture we are thinking that it might just be in God’s plan for us seeing as how we are also expecting the resident alien soon…

Kievits Kroon Spa, you pampered me beyond my expectations. As an expectant mom I was slightly apprehensive about going to the spa but I was assured that a trained therapist would take care of me…and she definitely took care of me. I actually found myself dozing off and snoring during my therapy session…yes, you know that sleep where you hear yourself snoring and wake up and think shit did I just snore out loud…that was me. I am 22 weeks pregnant and although I feel good I just can’t stay awake past 8pm anymore…no matter what I do I just can’t stay up late.

After my session I was treated to a three course meal in their Signature restaurant…OMG, that food was sooo¬†good.

Starter – Crispy fried duck savoury pancake with peas and soy foam

Main – Prawn fettuccine with aioli and white wine saffron sauce

Dessert – Warm battered banana, coconut and vanilla deep fried ice-cream and caramel sauce

kievits-kroon

Kievits Kroon I thank you for a lovely day of pampering. I will be back…Let me just monitor my budget….

Spirited Mama

P.S. I am thinking that this is the perfect venue for my resident alien’s baby shower…

I AM WOMAN

I am a WOMAN, and yes that is most certainly my super power.

As women we tend to downplay our lives, our achievements, our dreams/ambitions/goals so that we can help others (whomever¬†these others may be but you know who I am referring to right…others who always miraculously enter our lives just when we think ahhh let me do just this one thing for myself)

Well today there is really no beating around the bush. My blog post is dedicated to me and ALL the WOMEN out there.

I have many ideas but often stagnate and procrastinate. I lose my shit when things don’t go my way. I can have a temper tantrum…aka adult tantrum. I am not perfect but I am ME.

I am not a perfect size 8 10 12 but I have curves and a very unique physique. Oh hell right now I am not sure what my size will be next week as the resident alien is growing at a rapid pace right now. Can’t believe I am 20 weeks already. Halfway. Fck, before we know it he will be here…

I am a women,¬†a girl, ¬†a wife,a lover, a mom, a daughter, a sister, granddaughter, a cousin, a friend, an aunt, a godmother, a colleague and soooo¬†much more…I am phenomenal. I AM WOMAN.

Spirited Mama

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LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE MAKING OTHER PLANS…JOHN LENNON

So it was officially women’s day yesterday, 9 August ¬†and yes I know there is alot of history behind but I will spare you the info (click here if you need to know why we celebrate women’s day). I just wanted this day for myself. You see I don’t have to do the usual school run or even go to work. Bless the government for giving WOMEN a special day and making it a public holiday. <Dear Government, My Dude is very pissed at you. He wants to know why MEN don’t have their own special day. But we will continue this conversation on another day…

So I wanted to lie in bed and have a hearty breakfast of Ferrero Rocher but alas….Let’s just say that my family has been dealt a few blows and we are still in shock and trying to just come to terms with the situation….

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On the other hand I have been receiving random emails about The Working Mothers Expo. Now initially I thought I was being spammed as usual. Probably someone wanting to hack my credit card but I ‘ve got news for you….you won’t get much >LOL! But it seems this expo is legitimate. I have been reading up on it and I am actually intrigued to find out more about it.

If you are interested go check it out The Working Mothers Expo. It’s happening 4-6 Nov 2016 in Sandton, Johannesburg.

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY to all the WOMEN out there. Enjoy you day off…

Be beautiful. Be brave. Be YOU!

Spirited Mama

P.S. I have these little conversations with myself, in my head, all the time. So I have now resorted to giving myself an inspirational pep talk. How do you like my motto for now?

Be beautiful. Be brave. Be YOU!

P.P.S. I had a draft of this post but I just couldn’t bring myself to log on yesterday. I edited this post because of course now it was completely out of context. Many tears were shed yesterday but I read somewhere that “tears are liquid prayers”. Today I feel a sense of calm but yet the uncertainty and anxiety is eating at me…Today might not be a great day but perhaps tomorrow will be. I will try again tomorrow.

 

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