Second child syndrome. Hand me downs? Is it fair or OK to pass on things?Do you feel neglected as a second child? I am the eldest of two children. But I am also the only girl. I have a brother who is 9 years younger than me. Dude is the youngest of three children but granted his brother is 8/9 years older than him. In essence, we kinda grew up as “only” children or in different generations to that of our siblings. Dudie and the resident alien will have a 7 year age gap between them. Whilst I am all for sibling bonds I am most certainly NOT cut out to be a mom of two babies/small children. Hence, the age gap between my boys… I do worry that they will not “click” right away but as with anything you cannot predict the future. My wish is that my boys create and find “their own special brotherly bond”.
Is it fair or OK to pass on things?Do you feel neglected as a second child?
The competitiveness…First born vs last born? The resident alien is not even born yet and already I am picking up competitive vibes from Dudie. And No it’s not anything that we have said or done but Dudie had a problem with the name that we I have chosen for his little brother. Yes, imagine that. To quote my 6 soon to be 7 year old, in exactly 8 days he will be 7 – he promptly reminds me daily of how many days are left until his birthday “that name is too powerful for my little brother”. I shit you not. When did this boy get sooo smart? And who in the hell of it old him which names are powerful? Oh my, this is but a sliver of what I can look forward to with my spirited Dudie. This kid is song willed…
Does it create sibling rivalry? Dude and I had this conversation the other day and granted I agree that if the parent makes a fuss about it the second child might feel somewhat neglected or begin to realise that this might not be normal behaviour. Although, I have always given Dudie things to family and charity my Dude had a valid question…”Why is the stuff not good enough for the resident alien? Honestly, I couldn’t think of a valid reason. Perhaps it’s the mommy guilt of wanting to give my boys everything I possibly can. And wanting to give the resident alien his “own” things?
I foresee a journey full of discovery for the Spirited Household. I hope that we all embrace the changes with love, respect and dignity…
Happy bonding.
Spirited Mama
I chose these random images as I didn’t think anyone would want me posting pictures of their kids on my blog…and well the resident alien is still in utero so how do you think I would get a picture of my boys together…
MeeA
I am so with you about giving each child his *own* things; Children need to know that their stuff is THEIRS; It’s an important part of being a human being and of learning to respect the property of others, and to take care of your own.
That said, I grew up in my older brother’s hand-me-down clothing and came off without major hang-ups about it.
Back on the subject of kids and their stuff, though, if you’re going to give a child something, it MUST be HIS/HERS. If you were to be given something, you wouldn’t expect for the person who gave it to you to come and take it back from you a year or two later, to give to someone else, would you?
spiritedmama1
I hear you….Parenting is NOT easy…And we all parent by trial and error. What is good for the goose is NOT necessarily good for the gander.