Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Tag: Funnies (Page 2 of 2)

Please can I see yours?

Show me yours

Over the weekend the Spirited family went to the Mall for some shopping/gaming/chilling….oh and eating out of course. Well, let’s just say that it was a bit touch and go for a while at Ocean Basket. Firstly, our waiter did not really understand us clearly. Seemed that he was battling to converse in English. Secondly, to avoid any mishaps, we left Dudie strapped into his pram and just pushed him up to the table. Confined child=semi-controllable toddler.

Well, 30 mins into our meal Dude pipes up “Dudie, you have ruined my Ocean Basket experience every single time. Next time, I’m coming alone!” Well, I thought that I should just give him a voucher to go eat at Ocean Basket for his Birthday!

As we progressed through the day, Dudie informs me that he needs to go poo poo toilet. Ok, now I’m not fond of public toilets and the thought of a baby change room gives me the hibbygeebees…. Well off we went to the family room and Dudie did his thing. I get him ready to go and I say “oh, mama needs to pee, just hold on”.

This followed:

Dudie: Mama, long pause, where’s your p.en.is?

Me: Huh? Excuse me. What did you say?

Dudie: Where’s your p.e.ni.s?

Me: Baby, I don’t have one. I have a v.ag.ina. Girls have v.a.g.ni.as…

<Please bear in mind that there were other moms waiting to use the room, and the sound travels well in that room.>

Dudie: Please can I see.

Then he started begging. So after me bribing telling him that we’re off to play some games and that I can show him mine when we at home….

When we left the room, all the moms were giggling….I wonder why?

On a different note:

This morning I asked him if they are practising for the school concert yet? And what will they be doing? He informed me that they will be doing Nothing…. So I rephrased and asked if they will sing? He answered again with “Nothing” Then I asked what do you mean nothing. And he started singing this song…. And that apparently is what he meant by “Nothing”. So now, I need to check with his teacher whether the song is called Nothing or maybe he is just tired of my probing 🙂

Spirited Mama

I’ve been trying to motivate myself. The progress is a story for another day but let me share some random inspirations & funnies with you…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny, how I’m finding all the food related quirks…. Could it be ‘cos I’m thinking about watching what I eat, and I need to start exercising… Murphy—————–Piss off!

Happy Friday Folks.

Gloria knows that I would not have made it through another working day this week.

 

 

Friday Funnies

Just to kick start the day.

Did you know that it’s Friday the 13th?????

Personally, I’m not superstitious but my Dude is.

Are you?

P.S. What I noticed it  that my morning events were a bit skewed but I took it in my stride, laughed it off and now I’m my merry self!

P.P.S I need to take the car for a valet because of the morning events. I backed out the driveway and forgot to remove the coffee from the dashboard. It was a bit chaotic as we were running late. Well, the coffee spilled over the passenger seat. Then Dudie pipes up “Mommy I messed”. Well he messed his pancake in the back and when I took him out of his car seat, there was toothpaste everywhere…. Ai, he insisted on brushing his teeth in the car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is why I’ll never dive professionally. Phew! I can barely swim properly… LMAO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh Thank Gloria, I’m well insulated. Heaven forbid she should fall…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prison break. LMAO.

 

Happy Friday folks!

P.P.P.S  I’m busy with a Spanish course. Oh my, I’m so confused…I’ve got an online tutor too. Everyone walking in the office looks at me as if I’m weird ‘cos I’m trying to repeat the Spanish phrases….

Friday Funnies

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prison Break!

Have a Good Friday, Peeps.

Some Friday Funnies

Ladies & Gentlemen….

For you, Friday Funnies compliments of Spirited Mama

Enjoy, Happy Friday!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not Sure what the end result was but I think it’s safe to say that he will be hiding his face the next time he sees them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wonder if the person who painted this passed….

 

 

 

 

 

 

Car pool anyone?

 

Happy Friday all!

P.S. I have no idea who to credit for these images. Here’s to you – Whoever you may be!

 

Why God made Mums!!!!

I received this from a friend. I’m not sure who to credit for this. So, whoever you are – Cheers to you!

WHY GOD MADE MUMS

Answers given by second year school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1.    She’s the only one who knows where the selotape is.

2.   Mostly to clean the house.

3.    To help us out of there when we were getting born..

How did God make mothers?

1.    He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.   Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3.    God made my mum just the same like he made me.

He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum?

1.    We’re related.

2.   God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mum like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mum?

1.    My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.

2.   I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.    They say she used to be nice.


What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1.    His last name.

2.   She had to know his background.

Like is he a crook?

Does he get drunk on beer?

3.    Does he make at least one million a year?

Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?

1.    My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot.

2.   She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.    My grandma says that mum didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1.    Mum doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such an idiot.

2.   Mum.

You can tell by room inspection.

She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.    I guess mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between mums and dads?

1.    Mums work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2.   Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3.    Dads are taller and stronger, but mums have all the real power ’cause that’s who you have to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4.   Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?

1.    Mothers don’t do spare time.

2.   To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?

1.    On the inside she’s already perfect.

Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet.

You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?

1.    She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.

I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my mum smarter.

Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

PRICELESS!!!

Spirited Mama

CLASSIC for Thursday/Friday JOKE

GRANDPA AND GRANDKID

GRANDPA: go hide, your teacher is here because you bunked school today!

GRANDKID: grandpa you go hide……………. I told her you passed away

P.S. I’m so using this as my next excuse to get out of work on a Friday…

 

Today’s Funny

Really? This Really happened… Serious! For the record – I didn’t do it.

 

Therapy anyone?

What would you rather be doing????

What I am currently doing

So now as the work starts to slow down, my mind starts to wonder. I always end up having the same thoughts about my “CAREER”

<It sounds better than saying I have a JOB>

I always have and still want to be the “VOICE” at the Terminal Building in any Airport. Really, if you know of any vacancies, let me know please. Even, if  I could do that job for a day/week/month I’d be happy.

<I’m in the market if anyone is hiring – will even settle for voice overs>

What I would rather be doing

I want to be that person that calls you, yes-you (the person who’s causing the fcking delay) over the PA system.

This is how I’m suppose to do it:

Mr/Mrs Smith, please report to Boarding Gate D5.

2mins later:

Mr/Mrs Smith, this is your final boarding call. Please report to Gate D5.

BUT this is how I say it in my world (head):

Mr/Mrs Smith, we really don’t give a shit why you’re being delayed. But could you please get a move on???

2mins later:

Mr/Mrs Smith, we’ve left without you. Try another airline. Peace!

I’m rational/sane/diplomatic most of the time so if you have any vacancies, please drop me a note and I’ll contact you.

Thanks in advance.

Spirited Mama

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