My Bonny lies over the ocean….

On August 12, 2012

Hi I’m SpiritedMama and I’ve been having a really hard time surviving LIFE! Life has been extreme lately. Extreme highs and some very low lows… From my last post I was suppose to give you a breakdown of the adventures of Spiritville. So let’s recap and see where we end up today.

In bullet form:

I’ve been looking wanting to find a new school for Dudie for next year but after a few minor incidents and me no longer trusting the Principal/owner I removed Dudie from his school without even batting my eyelids. I took two days leave. Day 1, I had a meeting with his previous teacher and principal, sorted out a few issues and withdrew my child from that school directly after our meeting. Contractually, we are bound to serve a month’s notice but I’d rather pay them and not leave my child there for another month. It just makes me uncomfortable. The “what ifs”. It’s like serving notice at your workplace. We know you’re just killing time and not really doing anything constructive.
Day 2, I enrolled Dudie into his new school and he started immediately. He loved it and still does. His teacher says that he has adapted so well and if you looked at him you’d think he’s been there for years I love how sociable he is and almost simultaneously he could be very shy if he wanted to be….
On the work front, I now face a dilemma,as I can only drop Dudie off 30 minutes later than what I used to and the traffic is just killing me right now. I can either change my working hours, which in turn messes with my swimming schedule for Dudie or I can take a pay cut and work less hours. I’m still weighing up the options, as I’m one of those peeps who feels that money is not the be all and end all….
On the home front, taken some time out from work and Dudie adjusting to his new school gave me some time to reorganise our home. I started staining Dudie’s chest of drawers. I repainted our street number, as the idiot who did it never came back to fix it. I did some artwork on the walls. And I repacked some cupoards. Needless to say, I was exhausted after doing everything in a couple of hours but it felt good to let go…. And just clean/declutter/beautify/reorganise…
So with Dudie being in a new school and me getting to work later everyday, it’s been a bit hectic. The to add that Dude and I have not been in the greatest of spaces either. There’s nothing wrong it’s just that we’re just not in synce with one another right now…. And it’s not an easy situation to be in.
I need support right now and maybe a few drinks………………….

That’s it for now. Catch you on the sane side!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Lately Dudie has requested that I do his bed time drill, i.e. lie down with him for a bit. I’m loving it! We cuddle and hugs and laugh in the dark until I put on my stern voice and tell him it’s way past bedtime and that he needs to sleep. He then curls his hand around my neck and says Mama, you love me! My heart melts everytime. Lately, he has been calling me Mama again. Not sure why. He did it for while then he reverted back to Mommy but now it’s Mama again.

P.P.S. Apart from everything else, I’m prepping for exams too. As I write this post I still need to read two chapters in my prescribed book. I don’t even know when last I even read a book for my leisure.

When Life happens

By spiritedmama1

On July 18, 2012

In About me, emotions

Life lately

Ok, maybe you’ve noticed that I’m in a bit of a “challenging space” in my head, it seems. And maybe you haven’t. That too is ok. We’re all human and like John Lennon said “life is what happens when you’re making other plans” or something to that effect. I’ve been pinning things/emotions/ideas/solutions/problems/etc in my head. I’m not kidding, my head is buzzing. Non Stop. I literally wake during the night processing my thoughts…. WTF!

I’ve realised that I’m delusional. I set an alarm to wake 45 mins earlier so as to squeeze in a 30min exercise session. At home. I am not a gym person, so we’ve semi converted my Dude’s lapa into our mini workout area. Trick is that no one has really actively used the workout area since… I can’t even remember when. My Dude has decided that maybe we convert our spare bedroom into our “new” workout area… Great plan! I have all these ideas about making it all funky and stuff. But will we use it? I don’t know… He probably will, I on the other hand will have a million excuses not to

Life happens

On that note, I need/want to get into shape. And I’ve decided that Winter 2012 is when I’ll pull myself towards myself and just DO IT! Well, The alarm was set on Sunday evening. Morning morning I snoozed until past the time I needed to get ready for work. Tuesday, same shit different day. Wednesday, well I attempted to lift my lovely Feather Down Duvet off me and quickly decided that tomorrow is another day. Who said you need to start a fitness programme on a Monday? Why can’t it start Thursday….

I still hear voices

On the thoughts in my head, I’m getting there. I’m battling with myself and it seems I’m losing the fight. I’ve realised that after a lengthy discussion with a relative, I’ve opened up some wounds. In me. I’m raw. And I’m trying to cover it up. It creeps through. I’m not sure how to deal with it. I’ve been picking up my pieces as I go along my day/days. I’m emotionally tired/ Spiritually drained. Physically, I’m exhausted. But I kick my self under the butt each morning to get going.

I see the change in my behaviour, and I don’t like it. I’m less patient. Less tolerant. Abrupt. Sarcastic. I’m trying to change it. But I don’t handle change well. Why I don’t know. I just don’t.

As if I don’t have enough to deal with, I/we are also looking for a new school for Dudie. He has outgrown his current school. I/we can see that he needs more….

Spirited Mama

Friday Funnies

By spiritedmama1

On July 13, 2012

In About me, Friday Funnies

Just to kick start the day.

Did you know that it’s Friday the 13th?????

Personally, I’m not superstitious but my Dude is.

Are you?

P.S. What I noticed it that my morning events were a bit skewed but I took it in my stride, laughed it off and now I’m my merry self!

P.P.S I need to take the car for a valet because of the morning events. I backed out the driveway and forgot to remove the coffee from the dashboard. It was a bit chaotic as we were running late. Well, the coffee spilled over the passenger seat. Then Dudie pipes up “Mommy I messed”. Well he messed his pancake in the back and when I took him out of his car seat, there was toothpaste everywhere…. Ai, he insisted on brushing his teeth in the car.

This is why I’ll never dive professionally. Phew! I can barely swim properly… LMAO

Oh Thank Gloria, I’m well insulated. Heaven forbid she should fall…

Prison break. LMAO.

Happy Friday folks!

P.P.P.S I’m busy with a Spanish course. Oh my, I’m so confused…I’ve got an online tutor too. Everyone walking in the office looks at me as if I’m weird ‘cos I’m trying to repeat the Spanish phrases….

Ta DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By spiritedmama1

On July 9, 2012

In About me, Marriage, Parenting

I am trying to get myself out of somewhat of a “bad” space. It’s mostly in my head but it’s there none the less. <I’m not my usual “happy camper” self and the effects are rubbing off onto my family. Trouble is, I just couldn’t put a finger on it and say “Ta Da! That’s what’s wrong or needs fixing.>

I’ve decided that for the sake of the greater good maybe I should just abstain from blogging as my equilibrium was/is shifting. And I really did not want to rant/vent here.

I’ve been finding it a tad bit difficult to see that light at the end of the tunnel. But let me assure myself that I see a faint one none the less. And I think that with perseverance and hard work, I just might get closer and closer to that light. Mommy.ville has been challenging as Dudie challenges me around each and every corner. I very rarely give a pat on the bum/hand as I prefer the “1-2-3 time-out” method. This was going swimmingly until recently. When I start with 1, he says 2-3 and then waits for my response. My response now is 1 – get the chair and put in time-out. I don’t even get to 2.

Wife.ville has been challenging. Dude is feeling neglected. He doesn’t feel the sense of “belonging”. I get that. And I’ve taken stock as to how/where tis happens. Oh my Gloria, it happens so easily. I get on with “my stuff” without him. And I feel less guilty when he’s working on a weekend as I then have justification for my behaviour. I’m trotting into dangerous territory here, as we had a very blunt ~~argument/venting~~ discussion about it. I’m numb to the core. Part of me wants to be a stubborn biatch and tell him to go fck himself but when I think about how I feel about him, I’m seriously not willing to part ways with him. I really need to work at my marriage!

Work has been work. Filled with mundane tasks yet also I feel that my ~~cup~~ desk runneth over with admin. I’m yet to sort out some crap with some people.

I’ve assessed my situation, and it’s pretty fcked up. If you walked in my front door tomorrow, you’d think that we were a well balanced household. I’m a crafty wife too. But on the back burner, if you stayed awhile and paid attention, you’d see that I’m actually finding it extremely difficult to balance life/marriage/mommy.ville/work/etc….

Something’s gotta give. And for a while it’s been work. And my Dude. I need to fix this. Work can stay exactly where it is. But I need to fix my relationship with Dude.

<We’ve been existing in the same house. How is that even possible? Just putting these thoughts out is making me emotional again. I don’t want to exist. I want to live!>

I need a laugh, badly!!!!!!!!!

By spiritedmama1

On June 28, 2012

In About me, JOBS, Time out

Words for Women to Live By

Aspire to be Barbie – the bitch has everything
If the shoe fits – buy them in every color
Take life with a pinch of salt… A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila
When life gets you down – just put on your big girl panties and deal with it(Baawwwaaahahahahahahaha)
Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality
I know I’m in my own little world, but it’s ok. They know me here
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself
Remember, wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest
If it has Tyres or Testicles it’s gonna give you trouble
By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong
‘Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today’. Now smile and send to any girl suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from life, who might need a reason to smile!

P.S. I’m having a really difficult time at work with my Senior. I seriously need to sit this woman down and tell her to get off her high horse!!!! She has an aura of “Self-importance” that I bet you’ll be blown away by. It.Is. That.Bad….. The Head of Dept just took me out for a coffee ‘cos she said that she can see that I’m going to explode….

P.P.S I got this in am email so have no idea where it stems from. Cheers to the Author!

My Child, My Rules!

By spiritedmama1

On June 26, 2012

In About me, Parenting

I decided to do a quick update on my MIL (mother in law).

Does your child play by the rules?

A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town. Dudie was getting a bit ~~out of hand~~ unruly so I calmly remind him that he will have a time-out soon, should he not change his behaviour for the better. Well, if you know my parenting style I only give three warnings and that’s that! No negotiating.

I will not be embarrassed by a tantrum throwing toddler anywhere. I’ve put Dudie in time-out in a restaurant, at friend’s homes, etc… My Dudie knows that I don’t make idle threats! Period!

If it’s not my house, does my rules not apply?

So at Ouma’s (Grandma) house, it seems that my child thinks that I will miraculously just let him free…. As the time passed, Dudie started pushing boundaries. Coincidentally, my friend who was visiting, was telling us (me, Ouma, My mom) about how her mom let’s her daughter(she’s 7 months younger than Dudie) do whatever she wants in her house. Her mom tells her *ahem* ‘My house, My Rules! With my jaw on the floor – OMG! My response “WTF”?

I put Dudie in time-out. And of course he has that ugly snot cry calling Ouma come fetch me… Blah Blah Blah. This has happened before and Ouma and an Aunt actually went to his aid. From now on I stand guard when Dudie is in time-out. <They cringe when they see me standing there>

My child, my rules

So my MIL jumped on board saying that she doesn’t like that Dudie gets time-outs in her house. This is her house. I respond with; “Well, I’m not letting this child run wild then I have to discipline him when I get home”. And that was the end of it! No negotiating. Dudie gets his time-outs when he deserves them and everyone knows NOT to interfere with my discipline…..

Spirited Mama

How do you handle your Mother and MIL?

P.S. My mother just looked away when I responded. She knows not to interfere.

P.P.S When I told my Dude what happened, he cracked himself. Bear in mind this is his mother we’re talking about. He said that I should’ve told her “My Child, My Rules!!!!

I was NOT born That way!

By spiritedmama1

On June 20, 2012

In About me, emotions, Parenting

I just need to vent a bit.

I have been trying to catch up with work/family/blogging/readers/life/flu….

Last week Monday, we got back from Cape Town. <Thank you for the awesome weather. We were overdressed. I kid you not>

I get to work on Tuesday, and just like that, that sniffly cold that I had before we left turned green and ugly. FAST!

On Wednesday, I go to the doctor’s rooms to try to sneak in early. But there were probably 50 people there, who all seemed to have something very contagious. I backed out and asked the friendly receptionist to give me call when it’s safe to return.

Oh, did I mention that the Dudie also showed symptoms of a cold. Well we got to see the doctor at 6pm that evening! I wa son my way to flu and Dudie was still on the “cold” front. We happily take our meds and take the rest of the week off….

On Thursday, Dudie made a miraculous recovery and every time I gave him his meds he seemed to get energised??? WTF! When I took my meds I became more and more drowsy! On Thursday, my Dude got a speech from hell, not sure what it was about but I blame my dementia on the flu meds… Dude proceeded to suggest that I take the Dudie to school half day on Friday.

I am not Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)material. I shit you not! I could be a SAHM everyday! The Dude and Dudie enjoy the fact that when I am home for a day they get spoilt with home made goodies etc. But Reality check boys – If I were a SAHM – you will NOT get those treats everyday! The novelty will wear off so quickly you’ll be begging me to go back to work! I need to work – for my own sanity. I enjoy working and I do love financial freedom! I sit on the edge of my seat monthly waiting for my sms that my salary has been paid!

On Friday morning, I drag myself out of bed. Bear in my Dudie came to lie in my bed from 7am until 8:30ish. I take him to school, return home and drop on the bed. I woke at 3pm with boots and all under the covers…

Dude had to work this weekend. So, Dudie and I got to sleep a lit later than usual, 9:15, on Saturday. By the time we got to the market, which is across the road from our house, it was 10am and they had packed up. Dudie was pissed cos he didn’t get his Saturday pancakes. So we only fed the ducks, geese & turkeys and left.

We went to Woolies and got pancakes, yoghurt, sparberry cooldrinks, cocktail sausage rolls and sweets and we had a picnic in the parking lot. BLISS!

We got home 20mins before Dude. I put the leftovers in the kitchen for Dude. The helper was there to do her weekly thing and Dudie & I proceeded to go and have a siesta. We were sick remember. So were need to rest. It’s Wednesday, and I’m still sick. This is going on 2 weeks now. How long will this take???

This Mama needs a break!

P.S. I’m an emotional wreck when I’m sick. More like a ticking time bomb. As a mom, when do we get a sick day? Just a fckin day to be sick? Why do we always need to be the go to person?

Last nite at 9:45pm, whilst my Dude & Dudie had been in sleep heaven for over an hour already, I was still folding the washing/making fish cakes – that can just be fried today/cleaning the dishes/packing lunch/loading the machine with more washing/picking up papers/cleaning the bird cage/telling the dogs to shut the fck up/eating frozen strawberries & bananas/having tea/etc

I was wondering what other moms do to balance their lives and daily tasks…. My body needs 5-6 hours sleep to function. I can run on 1-2 hours but that’s not a pretty sight so let’s not even go there. I don’t do interruptions well either! How do you balance life/family/work/marriage? Somethings gotta give and currently my Dude is taking strain. He aint getting my attention. By the time I was done last night, it was well after 11 and I slumped on the couch to watch a really bad movie on DSTV and just sip my tea and enjoy the peace and quiet!

Enough of my rambling…. I need to take a road trip! I’m already looking at possibilities. Also this will be just in time for our annual increase…

Are your Skies Blue?

By spiritedmama1

On June 1, 2012

In About me, Girly things

Mine’s always blue. <Sometimes I just need to look a little harder to find it J>

I am the first-born of my parents and their only daughter too. I can totally see why my mother wanted to give me a girly girl room, with pink and frilly things. This did not go down well. I was not into pink! I ~~loved~~ still love BLUE! All shades of blue.

Here’s a few of my Blue ~~Habits~~ Obsessions:

1. Blue smarties – I believe they taste better

2. Blue fizzers – see point 1

3. Sweet/confectionery addiction

4. Candy floss – you guessed it – blue

5. Steri stumpie– bubblegum flavor

6. Bubblegum ice-cream

7. Blue jeans – x pairs stone washed, faded,

8. Opalt birth stone – blue

9. Blue lunch bag – coincidental as Dude gave it to me –

10. Storage bowls – all have blue lids

11. My son looks adorable in all shades of blue

12. Check my blog colour? Need I say more?

13. I heart the Smurfs – Do you think I can have a 29yr old Smurf Party?

14. Blue Pen holder

15. Blue eyeshadow I’ve never worn it but I bought it cos it was 3 pretty shades of blue

 I’m sure most of you know the saying about “Monday Blues”? Well Blue makes me happy and it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling…. Happy Weekend!!!!

P.S. I also heart Black wine gums – they just taste better

P.P.S Not that I’m a bit older and I have a son that I can shower with all things BLUE, I’m a bit easier around pink things. I even have 2 different T-Shirts in pink!

Whilst you were celebrating Mothers on Mother’s Day…

By spiritedmama1

On May 15, 2012

In About me, emotions

I didn’t celebrate MY mother!

I did celebrate Mother’s Day though, as I am a mother too. My Dude and Dudie spoilt me. It was relaxed and chilled. We had such a nice day, just the 3 of us…

Back to my mother. When I say that I have issues with my mother, it’s an understatement. Currently, we don’t even have normal conversations. Let me give you an example:

Me: Hello

Her: Hi, how are you?

Me: Good <Sometimes I ask how she’s doing>

Her: How’s Dudie?

Me: He’s fine

Her: Can I talk to him, please?

Me: This response varies according to Dudie’s schedule…

Ok, hold
He doesn’t want to talk right now
HE ran off
He’s busy with his Dad

And that’s more or less it. But coming back to why I did not even call her… A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town. Now, I haven’t been to their (my parents) house in a long time… <That’s another story! Ai, so many stories…> and this trip was no different.

And here’s why I didn’t celebrate MY mother

I called and told her that we’ll be in Cape Town, gave her our itinerary and pointed out when and where it would be suitable to see the Dudie. On the Sunday, when they were suppose to come see him, she called to say that it’s too far to drive???? WTF? If you want to see him, you’ll come to him.

On Monday, we couldn’t get a flight home so we decided to drive 100km’s to visit strategic family members. We were within 5km’s of her, and then she calls my brother (we were oohing and aahing over his daughter at the time) that they going to overnight somewhere. This venue is probably 200kms from them, but it’s too far to drive to see your grandson!

And that, Ladies & Gentlemen, was the straw that broke the camel’s back!

Up until now, she doesn’t know that we were with my brother. And this is how my life with MY Mother goes… I’ve set my boundaries and I’ve stuck to them. And I can honestly say that the rest of my family has noticed a change in my behaviour, for the better. I am happier and not half as moody. I’m more relaxed and I’m enjoying the small things in life… <Thanks Kelle Hampton for an awesome blog>

I’m taking it one day at a time. It’s difficult to tell myself that somethings are just not worth worrying/stressing about. There’s nothing I can do to change them. Accept it. And move on.

I am so blessed. And I choose to look at the positives. Thank you to everyone who’s in my life right now.

To all of the Moms out there- Hope you had a Fab Mother’s Day!

Spirited Mama

P.S. I’m blessed to have many mothers in my life, albeit they’re non-maternal.

P.P.S I had this recurring thought on Sunday – “Just because you birthed me doesn’t mean that you’re job is done. Being a mother is forever…” – Spirited Mama

I think the thing that hurt me the most is the fact that she chooses her husband (yes, he is my biological father but that’s as far as the connection goes) or work over her kids (my brother & I). My brother is in his final year of studies and can’t wait to move out on his own.

I am always in awe of mom/daughter relationships as I do not know what that’s like BUT I have other moms/friends/family that fill that void in my life….

A frog or Not…swimming lessons starting soon

By spiritedmama1

On May 7, 2012

In About me, Dudie, Kids stuff

So, tomorrow Dudie starts swimming lessons… <Dudie is the frog ‘cos he is as happy as a fish in water.>

Do I have a frog or not?

Yay, for the fact that I won’t have a mini heart attack everytime Dudie wants to play outside close to the pool but NAY on the price tag of Little Swimmers! Oh my Gloria, why should swimming nappies be so expensive? At home we just go “All Natural” but I don’t think that the Swimming Instructor/ other parents/ swimmers will appreciate the view…

My Dude seems to think that we can recycle the swimmer for at least 2 uses but Dudie pees in that swimmers as soon as I pull it up over his behind! Now, I refuse to recycle a swimmer let alone one that was pee’d in. Also, is it just me but is it only Huggies that are genius with swimmers?

Yesterday, we went in search of a swimming cap for Dudie. Mofo, what a mission. It doesn’t look like anyone stocks kiddie swimming caps anymore. Or I just missed them. After opening and fitting numerous caps, we eventually settled on one but I think that it’s not really made for him.

Ready to swim

With that we’re ready for tomorrow:

~~Swimming cap~~

~~Costume~~

~~Little Swimmer (unused)~~

~~Towel~~

~~One very eager beaver~~

~~One very nervous mommy~~

Can you swim?

My Dude can swim. Me – well I’m water safe. Was thinking that maybe I’ll enroll myself too and hopefully they can do Stroke correction with me. My freestyle looks more like I’m drowning. HAHAHA. But at least I can float …

Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Category: About me Page 9 of 12

My Bonny lies over the ocean….

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When Life happens

Life lately