Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Category: Parenting Page 4 of 6

Fevers, time outs and oh yes I need a cow….

By

On January 11, 2013

In Parenting, Time out

FEVERS and when they frequently occur

Ok so ask any parent, kids ALWAYS get sick at night…. It’s Friday morning, I have slept maybe 2-4 hours, and this was interrupted sleep. When I got home Dudie was burning up.  Funny how my kid gets sick when he sees me. We grab some takeaways for Dinner and it actually seemed like the A/C in the car was Dudie best friend.

We arrive home. Bath Dudie in lukewarm water and administer Empaped. No other symptoms except fever…. Dudie ate and read me a story and dosed off to dreamland. We checked on him continuously and it seemed the fever had broke. We retired just before midnight, but alas I heard Dudie fussing.  He was burning up again. We sponge him down, administer Empaped and swop beds with Dude. Dudie came to lie in my bed.

I could use a time out

Goodness me, my kid is a bad, fussy, roll around, kick you, stick his fingers in an orifice type sleeper. He was literally burning me to the touch. At 5am I administered Neurofen. I took the day off to give Dudie some TLC. We’ve had milo cereal and this child of mine looks like a spring chicken. Nothing wrong. No pain. No fever. WTF?

I’m going to squeeze in an appointment with the Doctor as I would rather have a good checkup than deal with casualties on a weekend…. So for now, we’re watching Cars 2,for the gazillionth time, and trying to pass the time until Doctors rooms open.

I need a COW

Oh, about the cow, I love milk. Dude loves milk. Dudie loves milk. My family consumes a crap load of milk in one month….so if anyone has a cow that’s just not being used, could we borrow Daisy for a while? Please? Our milk habits will bankrupt me 🙂 seriously, I need to buy a cow, and learn to make cheese. We easily consume 2kg’s cheddar cheese a month.

Happy Friday Folks

Spirited Mama

P.S. if Dudie is ok after we see a doctor, we’re going shopping. I need a new swimming costume, IPad accessories, vitamins, and maybe some sandals.

P.P.S yesterday I booked a weekend break for the Spirited household. Next weekend we’re having some time out. Whoop whoop

Feel Good moments

By

On November 16, 2012

In Dudie, emotions, LOVE, Parenting

So I saw this on someone’s profile and absolutely had to steal it 🙂

This sums up exactly how I feel each and every time I look at Dudie, and being showered with hugs and kisses….. Gets me everytime. tehre was ever a spontaneous hug/kiss/holding hands/etc from either parent…. But that’s one of those sad posts and definitely not fit for today.>

 I love you to the end of the earth and back, baby boy! ALways and forever. Never too much!

Love

Your Mom

P.S. I adore the fact that he makes me late every single morning because he makes me walk back to his door, because he didn’t “good morning me”… That means he wants to kiss me again. This can take a while some mornings!!! And even though I think that we are so late, I still share “our” moment.

P.P.S. The Dudie has now resorted to calling Dude and I by our first names. BUT only in public spaces. At home we are mom and dad. This child is way to smart 🙂

 

A Parent’s worst fear!

By

On October 17, 2012

In Family, Parenting

Well it’s one of mine. Bullying! It happens everywhere. At any age from very young to the very mature – bullying is bullying. I worry about how I could teach my son life skills/coping strategies to get through LIFE. Life in itself is unfair. It’s not easy. And society sure as hell doesn’t make it any easier. As a parent, you hope and pray that your child, if ever in any situation, will be able to fend for themselves. And even if he/she does, they still come and share their experience with you. At least, I hope and think that my Dudie knows that we have “that” type of relationship.

Initially, it was difficult for me to stand up to others, including our parents, about how we will raise Dudie. Or anything related to Dudie. I was so disappointed in myself that I felt I wasn’t worthy of raising this precious child.

I did learn to stand my ground. And believe me that I will forever stand up for my Dudie. Recently, it emerged that my cousin’s son, who’s about to start High School, is being bullied. He’s a soft spoken gentle soul. I don’t know how they will solve this but at least they know it’s happening and they are taking steps to rectify this!

I read about Amanda Todd’s story on The Blessed Barrenness’ blog. Hop over and go read it here. It NOT just directed at parents! Or even parents with tweens and teens! I have seen bullying in a toddler class. Thankfully, not in Dudie’s school. Everyone should read this. I can bet on it that there is someone in YOUR family that feels victimised!

A good friend of mine lost her daughter in 2009, also suicide. It’s real. When someone is crying out for help – take note. You may just save that person…

 

If only…..

By

On September 28, 2012

In About me, Family, Parenting

Have you watched the movie If Only ?I have, several times and I ball my eyes out EVERYTIME! What gets to me is that death is inevitable… At some point, we’re all going to leave this earth. I’m relatively ok with that but the problem/fear that I battle with is the “how” you going to exit this world. Now I realise that this is beyond our control and there is no use in fussing over it but I still have this gnawing feeling about it. My grandfather and I had many many discussions about it. He passed away very peacefully in his sleep in 1997… And I still miss him dearly. I can still hear his voice and I can still see his smile….

This morning, I had a brief yet pulling-my-heart-strings conversation with one of my Aunts., on my Mom’s side of the family. My Mom is one of six children, 5 girls and the youngest a son. She is the second born. Now, both my mom and the eldest daughter, I don’t really have much of a bond with but the other three daughters (my Aunts) – well let’s just say that when you see us together you will know that we are family. Aunt T is so excited ‘cos her eldest and only daughter is getting married in April 2013. They are going dress shopping. And basically, she can’t wait for her own grankids. She treats Dudie like he’s her grandchild. Love her for that. Well, now that I think about it, all three Aunts treat Dudie like he’s their grandchild. Love you all.

I mentioned to her how I’ve always envied the relationship she had with her daughter. And then she reiterated that I have and always will hold a special place in her heart. (Total snotty cry moment on the train and I forgot my sunglasses in the car) Fact of the matter is that she makes no secret of it that “HER KIDS, all 3 of them, are her LIFE” and I relate ‘cos that’s just how I feel about Dudie. What gets to me though is that that i snot the message that I got from my Mom. We have a touch and go relationship. The entire family knows the situation. I’m not angry or upset…. I’m disappointed. How do you not want to ensure that your child knows that he/she is loved, protected, cared for, etc.

I miss my family. We don’t see each other often. We live in Pretoria. They live in Cape Town. Solution would be to move to Cape Town but that brings on a whole other can of worms…. As Dude stated earlier this week, we’re just settling in to GP now, after we’ve been here for 10 and 9 yrs respectively…

This brings me to my dilemma that I’ve been facing for almost 4 yrs years now(I’m including my pregnancy) – How to balance everything. Being a successful career woman and having a happy fulfilling family life.

NB! This is MY opinion.

Something’s gotta give. You can not do both. At some stage one or the other will take a back seat. Even if it’s temporary. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all make our choices. And we really don’t need to justify them to anyone. It is YOUR choice afterall.

Since I knew I was to become a mother, I did some serious soul searching. Dude was of the notion that I stay at home with baby until he goes to school(roughly 7yrs). Now, as much as I enjoy my home time with Dudie, I am NOT stay at home mom material (SAHM). I will lose my shit! I enjoy working and interacting with my colleagues. I need to feel like I’m making a difference and that I’m worth something. Hats off to all SAHM but it’s just not me. But, I don’t think that I need to spend 8 hours a day away from my Dudie either. I was of the notion that Dudie will need me more when he starts “big” school. So I’ll have to work my way to a more flexi/part time JOB later.

Well, this thought has been hovering again. As Dudie approaches 3yrs, I’m more inclined to look at alternate options of employment. I have no idea where to start looking? Or what I’m looking for? But I do know that currently, I’m too attached too my salary…. The thought of giving up my financial independence scares the hibbygeebees out of me! So if anyone has any ideas on how I can free up some time, please feel free to share…

So, I’m playing the lotto this weekend. I just might have a blog post next week that’ll blow you away.

Happy Friday

Spirited Mama

Celebrations

By

On September 25, 2012

In Dudie, Parenting

So after all our gallivanting…. and after a lovely Heritage Day in South Africa, it’s back to grindstone.

I’m hungry for more. More sun, fun, laughter, holidays…. So instead of doing my ‘WORK” I’m browsing the net for suitable holidays 🙂

On Monday, Dudie will be 3!!! This morning we came up with our plan of action for his birthday celebrations. On Sunday, we will have a few people over for lunch. My friend’s daughter will be making a cake. I will post a picture next week. All I can say is that the baker is 11yrs and she’s into the “Cake Boss” big time. Hopefully the weather is good and we can put out the jumping castle and maybe brave our first swim for Spring????

On Monday, we will do mini cupcakes and treats at school as the Dudie has been asking about a party at school for a while now. I’m trying to get leave for the day. Plan is to spend the morning with him and then I have to STUDY!

On Monday evening, we’ll brave our Spur and watch how the Dudie soaks up the limelight when they sing for him. My big boy is turning 3. 

In other news, Dudie asked whether he could have a brother and a sister for his birthday????? OMG! Did my child not get the memo that he was going to be an only child?

Happy 4 day week folks. I can’t wait for the celebrations to start.

P.S. Last year the night before, I hung banners and decorated my lounge with balloons and name boards, pop up posters and more. Much to the Dudie’s delight when he woke on his special day. This year I plan to do the same. And we are so having cupcakes for breakfast again….Think I’ll do home-made red velvet cupcakes(this will be my first attempt)

P.P.S I’m putting together a gift list for Dudie and I’m battling a bit. I’m more for educational toys than anything else. But it seems my child has other ideas… Any suggestions welcome. I mean seriously, how much Legos can one child have? Or trucks and diggers!!! If anyone knows anyone that I can arrange a site visist and a ride in a truck, please let me know. That could possibly be teh best gift ever – Taking him to see trucks, cranes, diggers….

P.P.P.S My exams are fast approaching and I need to get my A into Gear and figure out a study roster!!!!

Tis the season to be jolly?

By

On August 12, 2012

In emotions, Parenting, Time out

So some of you might know that we experienced real proper snow on Tuesday, last week. Ok, I’m sure the whole world knows but I was so beside myself that it actually snowed in Gauteng! Real snow, not lit bits of frost on your car or grass but real ass snow. I thought it was freakin Christmas. Well, it was close. It definitely felt like a time to be jolly.

When I got home, the first thing Dudie told me was “Mama, I saw the snow” with th biggest smile ever. Dude & I were fortunate to have experienced snow before as we’ve travelled to Switzerland. We’re now more set on taking Dudie to Switzerland. I was as excited as my Dudie when he realises that breakfast is chocolate and flings! Oh and milktart!  I kid you not, that’s what we had for breakfast on Saturday. Not sure why though, but it was all good. On and we washed it down with some cream soda. I can see some parents rolling their eyes but really have you never ever given your child junk non-nutritional food as a meal? Never ever?

Why are we as “mothers” so hell bent on feeding our kids nutritional meals when the “dads” just wing it? Why are we as mothers so hell bent on routines when dads just wing it? Why are we as mothers so set on discipline when dads just wing it? And why are we as mothers always wanting to protect/cushion or children when dads let them take a chance? This is my opinion and shoot me for generalising but in my world “mothers” just do these things. Looking in, it seems that the dads have the easy way out. Let me make an example, Dudie will ask for his dad but I will cover and make excuses for Dude as I know that he might be busy. But if Dudie requests my presence, Dude will call me immediately without batting an eyelash. I’ve asked myself a million times, and I guess I’m just a sucker for punishment but why do I feel that I have to do everything? If I don’t put in lunch no one gets lunch or if we do it’s thrown together, literally. I like structure. I don’t like my food touching. I have explained that I would really like to receive a packed lunch, the way I do it. With mini treats and surprises but I’ve given up on that pipe dream. I guess Woolworths is the only one giving me a pretty packed lunch…

Back to my point, as mothers we are very hard on ourselves. Why? I guess because I want to give Dudie the best of what I have to offer. To be a better parent than my mother was. To make sure that I raise a good young man. My best is all I’ve got. But I try. And it seems that each day I push myself a little harder. A little further.

Somedays, I just need a time out. I often sit and wonder what I did for the day, then I recall, oh, you cooked/cleaned/did the washing,/made the beds/laughed at joke/ lent an ear when there were important things to discuss/crammed some studying/picked up legos for the millionth time/the list can go on and on…. Somedays it just feels meaningless. That my life has no real purpose. That I’m not making a difference. That I’m just here……………

I too am important. And I do have a purpose. I just need to figure out what that actually is. Maybe it’s being a mother/wife/friend/confidant? Who knows? I know that Dudie seems to think that I mean the world to him. And for now that’s all that matters.

 

Ta DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By

On July 9, 2012

In About me, Marriage, Parenting

 I am trying to get myself out of somewhat of a “bad” space. It’s mostly in my head but it’s there none the less. <I’m not my usual “happy camper” self and the effects are rubbing off onto my family. Trouble is, I just couldn’t put a finger on it and say “Ta Da! That’s what’s wrong or needs fixing.>

I’ve decided that for the sake of the greater good maybe I should just abstain from blogging as my equilibrium was/is shifting. And I really did not want to rant/vent here.

 

I’ve been finding it a tad bit difficult to see that light at the end of the tunnel. But let me assure myself that I see a faint one none the less. And I think that with perseverance and hard work, I just might get closer and closer to that light. Mommy.ville has been challenging as Dudie challenges me around each and every corner. I very rarely give a pat on the bum/hand as I prefer the “1-2-3 time-out” method.  This was going swimmingly until recently. When I start with 1, he says 2-3 and then waits for my response. My response now is 1 – get the chair and put in time-out. I don’t even get to 2.

Wife.ville has been challenging. Dude is feeling neglected. He doesn’t feel the sense of “belonging”. I get that. And I’ve taken stock as to how/where tis happens. Oh my Gloria, it happens so easily. I get on with “my stuff” without him. And I feel less guilty when he’s working on a weekend as I then have justification for my behaviour. I’m trotting into dangerous territory here, as we had a very blunt argument/venting discussion about it.  I’m numb to the core. Part of me wants to be a stubborn biatch and tell him to go fck himself but when I think about how I feel about him, I’m seriously not willing to part ways with him. I really need to work at my marriage!

Work has been work. Filled with mundane tasks yet also I feel that my cup desk runneth over with admin. I’m yet to sort out some crap with some people.

 I’ve assessed my situation, and it’s pretty fcked up. If you walked in my front door tomorrow, you’d think that we were a well balanced household. I’m a crafty wife too. But on the back burner, if you stayed awhile and paid attention, you’d see that I’m actually finding it extremely difficult to balance life/marriage/mommy.ville/work/etc….

 Something’s gotta give. And for a while it’s been work. And my Dude. I need to fix this. Work can stay exactly where it is. But I need to fix my relationship with Dude.

 <We’ve been existing in the same house. How is that even possible? Just putting these thoughts out is making me emotional again. I don’t want to exist. I want to live!>

My Child, My Rules!

By

On June 26, 2012

In About me, Parenting

I decided to do a quick update on my MIL (mother in law).

Does your child play by the rules?

A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town. Dudie was getting a bit out of hand unruly so I calmly remind him that he will have a time-out soon, should he not change his behaviour for the better. Well, if you know my parenting style I only give three warnings and that’s that! No negotiating.

I will not be embarrassed by a tantrum throwing toddler anywhere. I’ve put Dudie in time-out in a restaurant, at friend’s homes, etc… My Dudie knows that I don’t make idle threats! Period!

If it’s not my house, does my rules not apply?

So at Ouma’s (Grandma) house, it seems that my child thinks that I will miraculously just let him free…. As the time passed, Dudie started pushing boundaries. Coincidentally, my friend who was visiting, was telling us (me, Ouma, My mom) about how her mom let’s her daughter(she’s 7 months younger than Dudie) do whatever she wants in her house. Her mom tells her *ahem* ‘My house, My Rules! With my jaw on the floor – OMG! My response “WTF”?

I put Dudie in time-out. And of course he has that ugly snot cry calling Ouma come fetch me… Blah Blah Blah. This has happened before and Ouma and an Aunt actually went to his aid. From now on I stand guard when Dudie is in time-out. 🙂 <They cringe when they see me standing there>

My child, my rules

So my MIL jumped on board saying that she doesn’t like that Dudie gets time-outs in her house. This is her house. I respond with; “Well, I’m not letting this child run wild then I have to discipline him when I get home”. And that was the end of it! No negotiating. Dudie gets his time-outs when he deserves them and everyone knows NOT to interfere with my discipline…..

Spirited Mama

How do you handle your Mother and MIL?

P.S. My mother just looked away when I responded. She knows not to interfere.

P.P.S When I told my Dude what happened, he cracked himself. Bear in mind this is his mother we’re talking about. He said that I should’ve told her “My Child, My Rules!!!!

 

 

Fruit is NOT his favourite

By

On June 25, 2012

In Food & drinks, Parenting

Fruit is not high on his list

FF = Fruit Fail!!!! (I’m coming up with new terminology daily)

I *heart* fruit and whilst I was preggars, I ate so much fruit until someone warned me about pregnancy related diabetes…  But I still *heart* fruit. Even now I’m munching on an apple. And I have a banana lined up for later.

I have a 2yr old who wants to die when I offer him fruit. I know for a fact that he eats it at school, so I’m not too stressed that he doesn’t eat it at home. But I’ve come across Fruit Pack. A fruit pureé that is package like a juice…… (I’m starting to smile). Just maybe I can pull this off and add to my “mommy bag of tricks”.

Fruit on the go

Fruit pack – fruit on the go

On Saturday, we skipped off to our Baby City for the usual:

Nappies (thanks to the Pampers bale packs), wetwipes, bubblewash and Fruit Pack.  I decided to get the apple and pear. I think you need to come up with a variety pack so that Dudie can experiment with all the flavours. Well, I showed it to the Dudie. His face lights up and he takes his first gulp. I hold my breath as I can see him swirling that pureé in his mouth and it looks like he’s about to spit it out. But alas, he swallows and say, mmmmmm.

Success! I have now decided that I will be doing fruit packs in his treat box. And this is what today looked like:

P.S. If anyone working for Fruit Pack reads this, please do a variety pack too.

P.P.S Dudie gets all meals and snacks at school but I still pack a treat box everyday. And I love the fact that he looks forward to his treats.

P.P.P.S When will this child just stop using nappies already? He says when he wants to use the loo and then happily comments “see nothing in nappy”. WTF?

Spirited Mama

Why God made Mums!!!!

By

On June 22, 2012

In Kids stuff, Parenting

I received this from a friend. I’m not sure who to credit for this. So, whoever you are – Cheers to you!

WHY GOD MADE MUMS

Answers given by second year school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1.    She’s the only one who knows where the selotape is.

2.   Mostly to clean the house.

3.    To help us out of there when we were getting born..

How did God make mothers?

1.    He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.   Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3.    God made my mum just the same like he made me.

He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum?

1.    We’re related.

2.   God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mum like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mum?

1.    My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.

2.   I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.    They say she used to be nice.


What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1.    His last name.

2.   She had to know his background.

Like is he a crook?

Does he get drunk on beer?

3.    Does he make at least one million a year?

Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?

1.    My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot.

2.   She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.    My grandma says that mum didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1.    Mum doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such an idiot.

2.   Mum.

You can tell by room inspection.

She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.    I guess mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between mums and dads?

1.    Mums work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2.   Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3.    Dads are taller and stronger, but mums have all the real power ’cause that’s who you have to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4.   Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?

1.    Mothers don’t do spare time.

2.   To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?

1.    On the inside she’s already perfect.

Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet.

You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?

1.    She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.

I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my mum smarter.

Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

PRICELESS!!!

Spirited Mama

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