(RE)Connecting with my kids

It hit me like a ton of bricks that my tantrum throwing 5 year old and suddenly “unwell” 12 year old are wanting to CONNECT with me! They’re acting out because I AM NOT PRESENT!!! Yes, I am physically around but I am not PRESENT!

Now I have many many reasons or rather excuses for not being present but in the end it all comes down to having a remedy to this situation and RECONNECT with my kids. Even though my kids are born almost 8 years apart – they have the same basic needs they need from Mama.

After being home for two years, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are back in the busyness of routines. There are days where I feel we, as a family, need a self-imposed lockdown 🙂

Starting with the basics of reconnecting and the little things that matter the most:

It’s time for MORE Cuddles, hugs and kisses

Mama needs to LISTEN to their needs

Mama needs to PLAY on their level

Mama needs to give her UNDIVIDED ATTENTION 

Mama needs to schedule ONE-on-ONE TIME with each child

 

This time round at least I don’t feel like I’m burning myself out! (Yay for small wins) Always SO much to do but so little time to do it. And never-ending LAUNDRY!

(RE)CONNECT because there is NO work life balance

I promise you that if you have that elusive work life balance, you will be a millionaire overnight. Do I believe that work life balance exists? NO! Purely for the sake that if work life balance existed, you would be split 50/50 between the two.

Sometimes you give more towards your work and sometimes more towards your life. BUT it is never truly on equal ground. Something has got to give, somewhere, somehow. I guess it’s up to you to define what that something is…

Do you think work life balance exists?

 How to (RE)CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS

  • Be an active Observer — have you ever just watched your kids to understand what they are doing or going through? Do you know when your kid(s) seem most open to connection? Are they morning people? Mama is learning to be a morning person 🙂 Do you know what they like or dislike? Do you know when something is “off” with them?
  • Be Open — to making it your priority to connect. Children often give you signals that they need more connection from you. My kids have mastered techniques such as whining, crying, arguing, or tantrums. Breathe and let go, observe and listen to what they are saying…
  • Be Quiet – My kids like to speak to me at the most inopportune times… But is it really an inopportune time? For me – yes. For them – NO. Sometimes, they need to muster up the courage to talk about something and as a parent, I want my kids to know that they can talk to me about anything! Yes, anything. Even if topics are age restricted.
  • Be YOU — Be the best version of YOU. Your kids love you just the way you are. They don’t need you to wear a cape because in their eyes you are their superhero anyway. They don’t need you to be a multi-tasker/juggler of note. All they need is to know that YOU love them unconditionally and that you’ve got their back!

Connecting doesn’t have to be complicated. And don’t get me wrong, NO one gets it RIGHT all the time. You will falter, you will make mistakes, you will drop the baton BUT try again! And again! And Again! Never stop trying!

I don’t ever want to be too busy to connect with my kids.

Even if it means that last email won’t be sent, dinner may be a little delayed, and my house won’t stay clean. The house was clean light years before the kids were born anyway 🙂

How do you stay CONNECTED?

Spirited Mama

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