Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Tag: choices Page 5 of 11

#freethenipple

By

On November 16, 2016

In Gender, Male vs Female, Women

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Do you know about Free the Nipple

@freethenipple Have you seen this? Are you aware of it? What do you make of it?

I wrote a post about Empowering Women, you can read it here, and it just so happens to be based on my opinions and thought about gender equality or rather gender inequality. This past Sunday, @carteblanchetv did a segment on the #FreetheNipple by founder Lina Esco. Here is a snippet of what Free the Nipple is about, just click here.

Even though we claim that we live in a society where we preach gender equality, are we really seeing women and men as equals? Lina Esco even made a movie about the campaign.

Out of sheer curiosity, let’s do a poll:

Spirited Mama

P.S. This also brings me back to a question that surfaces ALL the time – What is SO wrong with women breastfeeding in public? If you are hungry, you get something to eat. You eat in public don’t you? So why can a mother not feed her hungry child in public?

Empowering women? Are we really ready?

By

On November 14, 2016

In Struggles, Women

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This was a random picture my Dude sent to me. Roughly translated “Once upon a time there was a woman that wasn’t full of shit. But that was a very long time ago… and it was only that one day“. Unfortunately, he caught me on a day where I felt I needed to reinforce my independence and I then replied with this

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Roughly translated “Once upon a time, men used to hunt and make fires and didn’t get involved/butt in“.

Are we really empowering women?

So the phrase “empowering women” has been on my mind for a long time. Are we, as a society, really ready to empower women? Are we giving it our best shot? Or are we doing it half heartedly because someone said we must?

More and more women are doing what was once considered “the man’s job” in previous times. Does it look like more and more men are OK with women moving into “their” domain? I am all for being a liberal independent woman. My Dude sometimes gets upset because he wants to do something for me but I am not helpless. I can do some things for myself, thank you very much. It doesn’t make me any less of a woman and it surely doesn’t make him any less of a man, well that is my opinion.

I am me. I am strong. And I am strong willed, sometimes just stubborn. I will do what I need to do for myself. Because I can. And because I like my independence.

Do women deserve to be empowered?

Some women actually do a much better job, in different domains, than a man would do. Yet somehow women are still not seen as equals to their male counterparts. Has society indoctrinated us so badly that we only see women as being barefeet, pregnant and standing behind a stove? From personal experience, it was typical of some of my working environments, the males felt threatened by women in top positions. Are men really still intimidated by their woman’s paycheck? Is it really SO bad if she brings home the bacon?

Why do people frown upon a SAHM, stay at home mom? If you can afford it, why not? If that is what you want to do. No one will raise your kid(s) the way YOU want to. What about stay at home Dads? Has society accepted it? These dads are so few and far in between. Why is it that men are some of the biggest critics of stay at home dads? Does it really take away your manliness? Balancing family and a career is tough. In my opinion, something has got to give. Whether it is time spent with family or chasing that dream JOB. The aim is finding YOUR balance, your ZEN. What works for you and your family might not be ideal for mine.

Whatever happened to having an equal partnership with your spouse? Co-existing in unison, peace and harmony. And hopefully surrounded by love… Spirited Mama

Spirited Mama

P.S. I suspect that the USA wasn’t quite ready for such a liberal move as having a female president. Were they scared? Who knows why America got TRUMPED.

Japanese teaches MANNERS before KNOWLEDGE

By

On November 10, 2016

In Parenting, Schooling

I saw this over on the Mumemtoes facebook page and it got me thinking.

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What we teach our children

Dudie is currently finishing off Grade 1. If I think about the beginning of this year , how my child came home one day in a flat spin because he is starting to write weekly tests. This was a MAJOR thing for Dudie. He was freaking out. Nowhere have we ever pressurized him about tests etc. Somehow someone must have told him that he should be worried about tests.

Side note – Both Dude and I study and still write exams. We never let our stress show or cause this child anxiety when it is our exam periods.

We have always encouraged the behaviour – YOUR BEST IS GOOD ENOUGH. Everyone is unique. Everyone differs intellectually. You can only give your best. And you should be happy with giving your best.

Manners before knowledge

Seeing this extract about MANNERS before KNOWLEDGE resonated with me. This is exactly how we try to teach and educate Dudie. And hopefully we can do so with the resident alien too.

In my opinion, even if you are a total genius if your manners suck – I WILL THINK THAT YOU ARE AN ARSEHOLE and quite possibly NOT associate with you. I think that some people are too focussed on the ACADEMIC side rather than raising a well-balanced, well-mannered individual. Dudie’s school is very strict on raising well-rounded individuals. It was one of the main deciding factors for choosing that school.

What is your take on this?

Spirited Mama

P.S. I can not believe that I am 27 weeks pregnant already. Freaking out a little as the time is nearing…

My weekly schedule

By

On October 31, 2016

In About me, JOBS, Parenting, schedules

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People listen up – working half day does not equate to doing half the work….In fact you do a full days work in half the time. Last week I wrote about the Benefits of a half day JOB

It is not all moonshine and roses. I do the school run mornings and afternoons. There is NO sick day to just lie in bed. The kid needs to get to school and extra-murals so I have to drag my ass out of that bed, in sickness and in health EVERYDAY!

Dudie once told me “Mom, when one is sick you need to stay in bed right?” Me – yes boy. Your body needs to rest so that it can get better. Dudie – well you NEVER get sick hey? I rest my case!

This is what my weekly schedule looks like. It is not cast in stone and on most days we are home way earlier than our schedule predicts.

Time / period Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
05:00 – 06:00 Wake up and get ready Wake up and get ready Wake up and get ready Wake up and get ready Wake up and get ready
06:15 – 06:45 Get Dudie ready Get Dudie ready Get Dudie ready Get Dudie ready Get Dudie ready
06:45 – 07:00 Breakfast Breakfast Breakfast Breakfast Breakfast
07:00 School run School run School run School run School run
08:00 – 12:30 MOM at work MOM at work MOM at work MOM at work MOM at work
13:00 -14:00 Collect @ School Squad training – Swimming Collect @ School
13:15 – 14:15 PlayGolf Home
13:30 – 14:30 Private Swimming Collect @ School

14:00

 Cricket Practice
14:30 – 15:30 Squad training – Swimming Violin lesson Private Swimming 

 

 Collect @ School
15:30 – 15:45 Home Home Home Home  
16:00 – 17:00 Homework Homework Homework Homework  
18:00 – 19:00 Dinner time Dinner time Dinner time Dinner time  
19:00 Bath time and get ready for bed Bath time and get ready for bed Bath time and get ready for bed Bath time and get ready for bed  
19:30 Bed time Bed time Bed time Bed time  

The empty spaces in between are reserved for Mom to do a shop run/read/gynae/appointments/etc… Sometimes we get home earlier than anticipated and homework is done by 4pm. On a Friday Dudie doesn’t get homework so when we walk into the house we just plonk onto our beds and just do whatever we please. Certain Saturdays we have sporting fixtures so that means we are on the field, wherever that may be as we do not always play home grounds either, by 7am. Weekends are downtime for family outings/activities/etc.

Some times we manage to squeeze in a walk with the dogs during the week. But basically this is how it goes. By looking at our schedule we were never able to do these things when I worked full time. I used to get home by 6pm and then it was a mad rush to get things done. We are blessed that Dude always gets home by latest 16:00 so when I wasn’t there he would just jump in and cook and start on homework etc. But we also never get time with Dude in the morning as he leaves rather early. Some days I will get up extra early and bake something for breakfast and make him a steaming cuppa just to say thanks. We know he wants to be there but at this stage it’s just not possible. We get the best of him in the afternoons.

Yes we are busy but we love it. In fact I can’t imagine what we would be doing if we just had nothing to do. My day is way more hectic than some of my colleagues who work full time. I just can’t see myself in that rat race again, hence why I wrote Happiness vs my full time salary.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I am starting to wonder how we will fit in the resident alien’s schedule….

Benefits of a half day JOB

By

On October 28, 2016

In About me, Finances, JOBS

Yes, it is NOT all moonshine and roses but it does have ALOT of benefits. The biggest pitfall is you earn less than you normally would. (As an aside – my salary is actually NOT too bad compared to most full-time employees….)And you do a full days work in half the time. Nowhere has anyone ever said you will do half the work. EVER. You are supposed to be superhuman.

I am out of the office between 12:30 and 13:00 EVERYDAY! I do not compromise my time anymore. I get Dudie and do the usual school run with extra-mural activities, shopping, etc… We are generally home by 3pm with the exception on Fridays. Then we are home, if we didn’t have any errands, by 13:00 – 13:15.

Dudie doesn’t get homework on a Friday so by the time we get home that child is like a caged animal who has been set free. I allow him to watch TV/play his Playstation/just lounge around as he wishes. All whilst I too just plop onto my bed in my lazy state ‘cos come Friday I am beyond tired too.

So essentially a half day JOB means that I am there for all his activities. For all of his sporting fixtures – this kid plays cricket, golf, hockey, soccer and swims. Homework is done by latest 16:00 everyday. Dude gets the benefit of knowing that the family is sorted by the time he walks in the door, which is usually around 16:00. We actually have some good quality family time together. Dinner time is 18:00/18:30. Bath time is 19:00 and bed time is 19:30. And then the adults can have “time-off”.

I sent Dude this article, as I found that it was an interesting read. He agreed that the benefits of a half day JOB outranks the financial gain for a full-time salary.

BEING A STAY-AT-HOME PARENT IS A LUXURY … FOR YOUR SPOUSE

We have time for afternoon snacks, and Seattle Coffee stops whilst we go through the car wash. No more rushing like a headless chicken to get things done. And yes we eat together as a family EVERYDAY. In retrospect, our environment is alot more calmer than it used to be. And considering that our resident alien will be arriving in less than 15 weeks – well it’s definitely more beneficial to work half day.

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Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Try to stay cool as we are experiencing a HEAT WAVE in Pretoria. Even one of the dogs is feeling it… A refreshing night swim1477583964944

 

WTStikeez….

By

On October 27, 2016

In Dudie, Kids stuff, Shopping

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I can’t believe Stikeez are back to haunt me. #Pnp and #Stikeez2 you are killing me… I can’t handle it. I was impressed #Pnp when you brought out your animal sound cards because hell at least it was informative. And Dudie soon forgot about his rubbery Stikeez that I needed to account for daily and ensure that none of the dogs choked on it. Somehow the dogs just loved these damn Stikeez as much as the child.

So the other day Duide randomly request that we go to Pnp to get “stuff”. I asked what stuff as we didn’t need anything that I was aware of. Then the truth prevailed…(This child was so excited and even had a twinkle in his eye much like the one I will have if I have financial independence and “free” money) The Stikeez people were at school and gave them some of the “new’ Stikeez and he absolutely cannot live without the others…My response ‘”I am so happy for you but unfortunately I will not be going to Pnp today and I will not be bamboozled into getting those Stikeez.  We head home.

Fast forward to when Dude walks into the house and announces he needs to go to Pnp for some stuff – it was his night to cook (somehow he never cooks what is readily available at home). Dudie (always reluctant to go to the shops) is already waiting at the door to go. So we head out to Pnp and boy oh boy was Dudie ecstatic about his Stikeez. In fact he is already planning to swop a duplicate.

I am at a loss for words. Stikeez2 when will you leave already?

We did have a good dinner though – Creamy prawns cooked on the Cadac Skottel outside cos it was just so lovely to sit outside…It is SO hot in Pretoria right now. At the rate that we using the aircons Eskom will be loadshedding our house soon…Sorry Eskom I just can’t NOT have the aircons on.creamy-prawns

Spirited Mama

Blog content

By

On October 24, 2016

In About me, blog, Habits

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I have been asked before how I come up with content for my blog. Because sometimes it is witty/funny/helpful and who would have known informative. Well the answer is simple really….

My content is my real life experiences. No really the very thing that you are laughing at is actual events in my life. Sometimes I read my own posts and think whoa I wish that was fiction but then I think I wouldn’t be a Spirited Mama without my Spirited family in My spirited life.

I started my blog as a cheaper alternative to therapy. And yes it has been liberating but it is also an honest reflection of my life as well as my choices in life.

So stick around if you fancy a laugh because I can guarantee it’ll be cheaper than visiting a therapist. You know they say that we all carry our own cross/burden/load well sometimes hearing what others are facing in life can make your load seem lighter.

Spirited Mama

How my GUESS watch saved me from a snake…

By

On October 17, 2016

In About me, Holidays, Mishaps, Snakes

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Yes, you read it right. This post is about how my GUESS watch saved me from a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra.

So in 2015, we got lucky when I called a place for a last minute booking over the Easter break. I found it in the Dinokeng reserve. Now I have absolutely no qualms, even after this incident, with nature. I get that I am in the wild and in their territory and rightfully so I respect the wildlife. But fuck lately I am having more goosebumps and hair raising experiences than I would like….

Anyway, we were so chuffed to get this last minute booking. Arriving on Good Friday, to a place where you are told warned “Please close the gate after you enter the camp as the Big 5 roam free in the reserve”. Now, a rational person would have said fuck that I am heading back to civilisation, but NOT this Spirited family. No we will find these places. And we will conquer them.

We arrive and unpack. We are impressed for a Bush Camp. Only concern, the bathroom is sort of outside of the bedroom and kitchen. You need to step onto the porch to get to the bathroom door. Now  this doesn’t bother me but it sure bugs the hell out of Dude who is paralyzed at the mere sight of a spider, no matter what size. We decide to explore the camp and take a stroll across the lawn to the pool and recreation centre. This is about 500metres from our porch.

Inside the recreation centre we find a pool(snooker) table, table tennis, a tv area and a long dining room table…so I tell myself do not stick your hand into the pool table as you are out in the wild and need to be weary of snakes and spiders. I discover you can actually exit by the pool table as well.

Dude and I start playing table tennis. Dudie interjects and I say you play with Dad, I want to check that room past the tv. I walk past the front door where we had entered earlier and as I pass a huge gas heater I feel my left hand is wet. As if someone sprayed it with water…I stop and think that I just passed a gas heater, this whole camp is thatched roofs and if gas is leaking and a fire breaks out we are all fucked. So I backtrack…slowly walking backwards to check this gas heater. And right there on the floor next to the gas heater lies a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra.

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MOTHERBUFFER! With my mind racing and me calculating that if I run around this fucking 12 seater table this snake can surely just slither underneath and stop me on the other side, or if I scream or startle the snake it will have a go at me…very calmly I say ” Dude, take Dudie and go out by the pool table. Dude, huh? I repeat myself but this time a bit louder and with more concern in my voice. As they exit, I calmly walk around this table so that I too exit at the pool table.

Once outside I was freaking out. We ran speed walked to the owner and informed him about the snake. He checked my hand and arm for any scratches or cuts and said “Sussie jy is Fokken gelukkig hy hou van jou blink horlosie” (sister you are fucking lucky he likes your bling watch). So off he goes in search of this snake.

We did inform the other visitors who we met along the way not go to the recreation centre as there is a snake. We get there with the owner and already there are some guests who wanted to catch the snake. The owner goes inside and calls me to the door to check if the snake that he caught is in fact the right one. At this stage I am shitting myself thinking what do you mean the right one. I said yip it is without even looking.

He confirmed it was a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra and guess what they spit from any position. They do not need to stand up or flair up to spray you with venom. Although, it’s more the bite that you need to be careful of. Sadly, he killed the snake as he says the camp is full and the snake has obviously settled there so if he leaves it the snake will most likely just come back. And it might not be a happy ending next time. Can I just say that although relieved I was very sad that they had to kill the snake. Dudie, up til today, is still pissed that the snake was killed. He asked the owner, do you think God is happy with you killing his creatures? There was a veterinary Doctor as well who agreed it was best to kill the snake.

After all that commotion we headed back to our chalet. Slightly more cautious being there. Feeling exposed and vulnerable. Dude goes to the bathroom, and starts cussing…well you guessed it. There was a spider in the bathroom. On the door that he just closed. The very same door that he needs to touch to get out of there. He only saw this spider once he decided to use the lavatory. I was beside myself with laughter. I rescued him, after I laughed and laughed and laughed…

That night we did not sleep much. Me worrying about snakes and Dude worrying about spiders. The next day we were scheduled to go on a game drive. We arrive at the pick up and the owner says “Sussie jy het my so laat skrik, Ek was bekommerd oor jou. Ek is Bly jy is ok” We had a lovely sunset drive but thankfully didn’t see the lions. I think I had enough of the wild for a while…

Last night there. We wake up and Dudie is covered in red spots. Like everywhere. We looked for snake and spider bites but nothing. Then put it down to sand fleas…but we packed our stuff and headed straight to Dischem in Pretoria, about an hours drive from the bush camp. The pharmacist was chilled so naturally we were chilled. Got some meds and went to the comfort of our snake free home.

The next day Dudie looked even worse. We headed to Pretoria East Hospital and the trauma Doctor on duty said it was some sort of virus that Dudie had. Gave stronger meds and sent us home. It took a few days to clear but thankfully he was good as new in no time.

Suddenly I remember why we haven’t been in the bushveld for a while.

Did you know that the Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra is considered the most dangerous after the Black Mamba?

I am so grateful for my bling GUESS watch because this snake thought it was my eyes and had a go at it. I am the person wearing a blinging GUESS watch in the bush. I also always wear my sunglasses…

Spirited Mama

Confessions of a Spirited mommy…

By

On October 14, 2016

In About me, Parenting

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Image borrowed from www.MamaSaysNamaste.com

So who can say that they have NEVER judged another parent on the way that they parent their kid(s)?

Don’t you just love how people who have never had kids are on the forefront to dish out advice??? FYI, shut up and have your own kids then come talk to me! Oh, it’s looks easier than it actually is hey?

We all have those moments:

  1. I would never do this/that…
  2. I would never let my kid(s) do this/that…
  3. How could that parent do xyz…
  4. I would never judge another parent…(I know I am guilty of this albeit in my own little world I still have my mind telling me those first three lines and sometimes more. I cringe as I know it’s wrong and I really try not to be judgemental. I humbly apologise if I have offended you in any way.)

I came across this, Shocking Confessions only moms will understand, article in Essentials awhile ago and then reread it a few times. Naturally, I found it totally hilarious and then the reality sets in and I think “Whoa, some of what is said here could in fact just be about me.

Right now I am battling with the idea of what constitutes a “Good” parent. Well, in Spiritville that means that I shower you will love and nurture you will all my being to the best of my ability. I am only human and I am learning as much as what my kid(and resident alien – who is kicking the daylights out of me as I write this) is learning too. We are in this together. And if we make it through another day unscathed, happy, healthy and safe – well then that’s how we roll. There is NO manual/book. We learn by trial and error. What works for one family might not work for another.

So let’s give one another a break. After all we are all just trying to be “Good” parents.

Spirited Mama

P.S. Only 5 sleeps until my BIRTHDAY!

Happiness vs my full time salary…

By

On October 12, 2016

In Expos, JOBS, Parenting, Women

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Money is not everything BUT it sure does make everything a bit easier!

I am battling with a huge decision to go back to working half day. Working half day = half the salary

Now, this is not a new venture as I had this same debacle when I changed jobs in 2013… It was very beneficial to my family as Dudie got the best of his mom. Now here I sit at the crossroads again

The resident alien is due in February 2017. Of course I can justify taking the half day job to give the resident alien the best of me too. I am just scared shitless as I would again take half a salary. Only difference this time – I have another person to take care of. Yes my Dude is AMAZING. And happily supports our family but I have this huge chip on my shoulder called “Independence”!

In January this year, I started working full time again and boy oh boy did my extra salary come in handy…SHit we even acquired another property…

What kills me is that for me my family comes first. I have a flexible work environment but I do feel that I am doing the resident alien an injustice by working full time. In more ways than one, I have technically made my decision already but I just can’t help but worry about balance sheets and bank statements.

This morning I came across this post, Being a stay at home parent is a luxury, on Harassed Mom’s facebook page and people the lights went on! This describes how I have been feeling. How I am currently feeling. Why do I need to prove anything to anyone? I had my cushy fancy job at Wits Univeristy and I traded it for a half day job. I must admit I felt worthless. Some days I still feel as if I am wasting my talents in this job BUT if I look at what it means for my family the benefits outweigh the title

Why do I need to prove anything to anyone? I had my cushy fancy job at Wits Univeristy and I traded it for a half day job. I must admit I felt worthless. Some days I still feel as if I am wasting my talents in this job BUT if I look at what it means for my family the benefits outweigh the title any day!  I am there for every match, practise, knee scrape and concert! Dudie is sooo flabbergasted if I say I  won’t be able to come watch something that fo him it is incomprehensible…how can Mom NOT be there? I just can’t imagine having the crazy full-time job and 2 kids at home, homework, supper, bath time and hope and pray that the husband and I can squeeze in some “us” time too.

The resident alien is coming. I think I need to give him the best of me too. Who knows perhaps I can find alternative income sources soon. At this point, my brain is fried but I need to take stock and perhaps sit in a quiet spot somewhere and figure out what is out there/ what I can bring to the “proverbial” table in the world.

I have been doing some research and perhaps I am looking in all the wrong places. I found the workingmothersexpo. Think I need to get myself there to find some inspiration!

Why is it so hard to be a working mom???? Change is inevitable. CHANGE is coming! I am scared BUT I am excited!

Spirited Mama

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