Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Tag: choices Page 9 of 11

My Child, My Rules!

By

On June 26, 2012

In About me, Parenting

I decided to do a quick update on my MIL (mother in law).

Does your child play by the rules?

A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town. Dudie was getting a bit out of hand unruly so I calmly remind him that he will have a time-out soon, should he not change his behaviour for the better. Well, if you know my parenting style I only give three warnings and that’s that! No negotiating.

I will not be embarrassed by a tantrum throwing toddler anywhere. I’ve put Dudie in time-out in a restaurant, at friend’s homes, etc… My Dudie knows that I don’t make idle threats! Period!

If it’s not my house, does my rules not apply?

So at Ouma’s (Grandma) house, it seems that my child thinks that I will miraculously just let him free…. As the time passed, Dudie started pushing boundaries. Coincidentally, my friend who was visiting, was telling us (me, Ouma, My mom) about how her mom let’s her daughter(she’s 7 months younger than Dudie) do whatever she wants in her house. Her mom tells her *ahem* ‘My house, My Rules! With my jaw on the floor – OMG! My response “WTF”?

I put Dudie in time-out. And of course he has that ugly snot cry calling Ouma come fetch me… Blah Blah Blah. This has happened before and Ouma and an Aunt actually went to his aid. From now on I stand guard when Dudie is in time-out. 🙂 <They cringe when they see me standing there>

My child, my rules

So my MIL jumped on board saying that she doesn’t like that Dudie gets time-outs in her house. This is her house. I respond with; “Well, I’m not letting this child run wild then I have to discipline him when I get home”. And that was the end of it! No negotiating. Dudie gets his time-outs when he deserves them and everyone knows NOT to interfere with my discipline…..

Spirited Mama

How do you handle your Mother and MIL?

P.S. My mother just looked away when I responded. She knows not to interfere.

P.P.S When I told my Dude what happened, he cracked himself. Bear in mind this is his mother we’re talking about. He said that I should’ve told her “My Child, My Rules!!!!

 

 

I was NOT born That way!

By

On June 20, 2012

In About me, emotions, Parenting

I just need to vent a bit.

I have been trying to catch up with work/family/blogging/readers/life/flu….

Last week Monday, we got back from Cape Town. <Thank you for the awesome weather. We were overdressed. I kid you not>

I get to work on Tuesday, and just like that, that sniffly cold that I had before we left turned green and ugly. FAST!

On Wednesday, I go to the doctor’s rooms to try to sneak in early. But there were probably 50 people there, who all seemed to have something very contagious. I backed out and asked the friendly receptionist to give me call when it’s safe to return.

Oh, did I mention that the Dudie also showed symptoms of a cold. Well we got to see the doctor at 6pm that evening! I wa son my way to flu and Dudie was still on the “cold” front. We happily take our meds and take the rest of the week off….

On Thursday, Dudie made a miraculous recovery and every time I gave him his meds he seemed to get energised??? WTF! When I took my meds I became more and more drowsy! On Thursday, my Dude got a speech from hell, not sure what it was about but I blame my dementia on the flu meds… Dude proceeded to suggest that I take the Dudie to school half day on Friday.

<I had other plans>

I am not Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)material. I shit you not! I could be a SAHM everyday! The Dude and Dudie enjoy the fact that when I am home for a day they get spoilt with home made goodies etc. But Reality check boys – If I were a SAHM – you will NOT get those treats everyday! The novelty will wear off so quickly you’ll be begging me to go back to work! I need to work – for my own sanity. I enjoy working and I do love financial freedom! I sit on the edge of my seat monthly waiting for my sms that my salary has been paid!

On Friday morning, I drag myself out of bed. Bear in my Dudie came to lie in my bed from 7am until 8:30ish. I take him to school, return home and drop on the bed. I woke at 3pm with boots and all under the covers…

Dude had to work this weekend. So, Dudie and I got to sleep a lit later than usual, 9:15, on Saturday. By the time we got to the market, which is across the road from our house, it was 10am and they had packed up. Dudie was pissed cos he didn’t get his Saturday pancakes. So we only fed the ducks, geese & turkeys and left.

We went to Woolies and got pancakes, yoghurt, sparberry cooldrinks, cocktail sausage rolls and sweets and we had a picnic in the parking lot.  BLISS!

We got home 20mins before Dude. I put the leftovers in the kitchen for Dude. The helper was there to do her weekly thing and Dudie & I proceeded to go and have a siesta. We were sick remember. So were need to rest. It’s Wednesday, and I’m still sick. This is going on 2 weeks now. How long will this take???

This Mama needs a break!

P.S. I’m an emotional wreck when I’m sick. More like a ticking time bomb. As a mom, when do we get a sick day? Just a fckin day to be sick? Why do we always need to be the go to person?

Last nite at 9:45pm, whilst my Dude & Dudie had been in sleep heaven for over an hour already, I was still folding the washing/making fish cakes – that can just be fried today/cleaning the dishes/packing lunch/loading the machine with more washing/picking up papers/cleaning the bird cage/telling the dogs to shut the fck up/eating frozen strawberries & bananas/having tea/etc

I was wondering what other moms do to balance their lives and daily tasks…. My body needs 5-6 hours sleep to function. I can run on 1-2 hours but that’s not a pretty sight so let’s not even go there. I don’t do interruptions well either! How do you balance life/family/work/marriage? Somethings gotta give and currently my Dude is taking strain. He aint getting my attention. By the time I was done last night, it was well after 11 and I slumped on the couch to watch a really bad movie on DSTV and just sip my tea and enjoy the peace and quiet!

Enough of my rambling…. I need to take a road trip! I’m already looking at possibilities. Also this will be just in time for our annual increase…

What will you be when you grow up?

By

On June 8, 2012

In Dudie, Holidays, Parenting

I have no desired career path for my son. I want him to be whatever he wants to be…

<It’s very weird how parents live out their dreams through their kids. What about that kid’s lie/choices? >

Dear Parent:

YOU had your chance, now back off!

Sincerely

Your loving child

 

All I know is that my Dude & I agree that we want to expose the Dudie to everything we possibly can. From musical instruments to cooking utensils. From Spaceships and aeroplanes to cars and bikes. And I can go on about this forever but basically we decided “Unlimited Exposure” for the Dudie. And hopefully somewhere along the line he’ll find his passion!  

Your Life! Your Choices!

On a different note:

We’re off to Cape Town for the weekend!  We’ll be soaking up some sea breezes and mountain air. Eating seafood at Mariner’s Wharf, this is non-negotiable on every trip J  And taking in babies galore. *Weather.SA* says that it’s going to be sunny skies in Cape Town this weekend. It’s going to be cold; I think the max temp is 14 degrees. Yikes! But there’s no rain forecasted. I’m crossing thumbs and toes… We’ll be creating memories  

Happy Friday Folks!

Happiness is

By

On June 6, 2012

In emotions, Family, LOVE, Parenting

Do you believe in fate/destiny? Are you more the “factual” type. Or you don’t believe anything if you can’t see/touch it?

Do you know how hard it is to see the silver lining/positive in any and every situation ALL the time? <This is my greatest challenge as I naturally worry about EVERYTHING! But I’m trying and it’s been a few weeks now. I can honestly say that I feel better. We live better. We seem happier in general….>

My child has brought out some childlike qualities in me, again. And I’m loving it! He reminds me to just live… Just be happy.

Enjoy the moment! Create the memories….

My hope is that when I cease to exist, my child will remember our moments together….

And with that I leave you with this quote I found on P.Int.erest.

P.S. I have no idea who to credit for this, and I’m not in the mood to do a detailed search… So if this was yours – Cheers to you!

 

Updates….

By

On June 5, 2012

In Bucket List

Ok let’s update my weekly bucket list. This was last weeks list, and although I got off to a good start; “Life happened when I was making other plans”. But I think I managed…

1. Make cup-a-cake (Do you know that you can make a single serving in a coffee mug and add custard/ice-cream/whatever you want to it?) Done with custard! Delicious!

2. Share Breakfast with Dude (Maybe I’ll surprise him at work?) This didn’t materialise last week, although I made him breakfast foods on Saturday afternoon. Does that count?

3. Have a good Cuddle with Dudie Done – Friday night , Saturday & Sunday

4. Dance Done – Read all about it here

5. Share a bath with Dudie…(We haven’t done this in a while) Done. But On Monday, 4 June with Party hats and balloons – that’s how we roll.

6. Eat Ice-cream infront of the fireplace (it’s getting cold now so it’s time for fireplaces to be lit…) Done. Dude bought avalanches from KFC on Friday and we sat at the fireplace enjoying yummy ice-cream. This is what we had:

 

 

 

7. Print “Dad & Son” photo for his Father’s Day frame (I bought the frame in January already!) Done. Saturday. Last night I put the picture in the frame – WOW! It looks stunning. I wanted to give it to him this morning. I’ll probably give him his Father’s day gifts soon. I’m too excited to wait!

8. Attempt some craft project (I have a rough idea of what I want to do) Done, I surprised myself! I stole borrowed the idea from Marcia’s post at 1, 2, 3, blog It’s not that I don not like white backgrounds, I just feel that there’s so much colour in the world, Why not use it? What do you think???

 9. Read/Read/Read (This weekend I got such great books for the Dudie. I love how he loves books! Just like me) – Work in progress. Currently reading

 

Very interesting. I’m savouring this one! Loving it!

10. Camp out in Dudie’s room (Tent/sleeping bags, etc) Somewhat done. We “camped” in sleeping bags in the lounge on Friday but moved to the beds as it’s just too cold. And I need to hire a leprechaun to keep the fire going whilst we sleep.

 

So whilst I think about what my list is for this week, I have already done the following:

Monday: Played with Balloons and party hats. We even had supper with our hats on. A celebration! Everyday should be celebrated.

Tuesday: Bought a Spirited Package for my Dude. (Kitkat, Samoosas, Stoney – all stuff that he likes and dropped it off at his workplace this morning.)

<I was stuck in traffic and by the sound of it my Dude needed some cheering up at work! It made my heart leap for joy that I can give him some happy for the day(No there’s nothing wrong with that sentence. I wanted to give him happy)

That’s all folks!

Are your Skies Blue?

By

On June 1, 2012

In About me, Girly things

Mine’s always blue. <Sometimes I just need to look a little harder to find it J>

I am the first-born of my parents and their only daughter too. I can totally see why my mother wanted to give me a girly girl room, with pink and frilly things. This did not go down well. I was not into pink! I loved still love BLUE! All shades of blue.

Here’s a few of my Blue Habits Obsessions:

1. Blue smarties – I believe they taste better

2. Blue fizzers – see point 1

3. Sweet/confectionery addiction

4. Candy floss – you guessed it – blue

5. Steri stumpie– bubblegum flavor

6. Bubblegum ice-cream

7. Blue jeans – x pairs stone washed, faded,

8. Opalt birth stone – blue

9. Blue lunch bag – coincidental as Dude gave it to me –

10. Storage bowls – all have blue lids

11. My son looks adorable in all shades of blue

12. Check my blog colour? Need I say more?

13. I heart the Smurfs – Do you think I can have a 29yr old Smurf Party?

14. Blue Pen holder

15. Blue eyeshadow I’ve never worn it but I bought it cos it was 3 pretty shades of blue

 I’m sure most of you know the saying about “Monday Blues”? Well Blue makes me happy and it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling…. Happy Weekend!!!!

P.S. I also heart Black wine gums – they just taste better

P.P.S Not that I’m a bit older and I have a son that I can shower with all things BLUE, I’m a bit easier around pink things. I even have 2 different T-Shirts in pink!

Me and Mrs Jones….

By

On May 29, 2012

In emotions, LOVE, Marriage, Parenting

Dude and I loved love dancing. Albeit he’s the better dancer, I still think I rock!

<A few years ago we were invited to an open day at a dance school. We had so much fun! The instructors told bith Dude and I that we need to be more stiff??? Apparently we move our hips to much? Well, my hips don’t lie!!!!>

Dudie has always liked music. And just like his mom, he enjoys a wide variety. Different genres. We even have Dude enjoying genres other than his norm.

I got home last night, granted I just needed to touch up dinner, as I had cooked on Sunday evening already. Within 5 minutes of me being there, the Dudie puts on some music. 2yr old knows exactly how to work the CD/DVD player.>  He, Dudie, chose the CD and the very first song to play is: Me & Mrs Jones… My Dude was within 2 metres of me, I give my Dude a bear hug and we slow dance in the kitchen…. We progressed through the kitchen to the living room, where Dudie was leaning against the couch. Dudie gets extremely shy when his Dad shows any affection towards me.

We invite Dudie to join in our dance but he point-blank refuses. But he did end up dancing with mommy, all by himself. See neither one of my boys wants to share me with the other. 🙂

Dudie and I ended up dancing for 20 minutes. He was so impressed with his Mommy’s dancing skills, albeit it was spinning and twirling etc… Those are the memories I want my child to have of me.
And again I embedded the smiling face of my son in my memory box…

P.S. I am well aware that as I age my metabolism slows down. I am NOT a gym person. You will NOt get me to sign up for Gym membership. I don’t care about your stupid specials. I believe that if i just get dancing again, maybe I’ll shed some kilos??? Dudie has me dancing for 20 – 30 minutes almost everyday now! I’m well aware of how unfit I am but I’ll get there….

P.P.S If you haven’t seen/bought it already you need to get Happy Feet 2. The soundtrack is amazing. We copy the dance in the intro and by the time the routine is done, I need to wipe the sweat…

 Watch the trailer here. How can your spirits not be lifted after that? Bridge of Light is one of my all time favourites to sing to Dudie…<It also helps him to vent his anger/frustrations cos he understands somehow what little Eric is going through>

 

My weekly Bucket List (28 May – 3 June)

By

On May 28, 2012

In Bucket List

I mentioned before that I wanted to do a Bucket List but I wanted to break mine into sizable chunks…

Here goes this weeks list:

1. Make cup-a-cake (Do you know that you can make a single serving in a coffee mug and add custard/ice-cream/whatever you want to it?)

2. Share Breakfast with Dude (Maybe I’ll surprise him at work?)

3. Have a good Cuddle with Dudie

4. Dance

5. Share a bath with Dudie…(We haven’t done this in a while)

6. Eat Ice-cream infront of the fireplace (it’s getting cold now so it’s time for fireplaces to be lit…)

7. Print “Dad & Son” photo for his Father’s Day frame (I bought the frame in January already!)

8. Attempt some craft project (I have a rough idea of what I want to do)

9. Read/Read/Read (This weekend I got such great books for the Dudie. I love how he loves books! Just like me)

10. Camp out in Dudie’s room (Tent/sleeping bags, etc)

So let’s see how I do this week. It’s so exciting to have all these things to look forward to. I always have so much to look forward to but somehow time flies by and before I even realise it the week is done. And I haven’t done half the things I wanted to. At least with the weekly lists, I can hold myself accountable.

I am really trying to LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

When you’re kid starts disciplining you…

By

On May 15, 2012

In Dudie, Parenting

How do you discipline your child?

I was at my wits ends a while ago with disciplining Dudie. I am not a fan of smacking but once in a while a good smack on the bum does the trick. This might work for some kids NOT for DudiE. He thinks that a smack on the bum is hilarious. So I’ve resorted to the naughty thinking chair. In a corner, still within my sight but no TV/Games/Snacks/toys/anything that’s fun. He sits there for 2 minutes, then I go and give him “the Talk” about what he did and how it’s wrong, etc

I’m always dishing out time-outs. I even did it in a restaurant. Just took him to the baby room and that was that. Well, after time-out, we had such a nice time in the restaurant.

<I really don’t give a rat’s ass about the stares or the onlookers gossiping about my parenting habits. It’s my child and it works for us>

Does your partner discipline your child?

Dude was in awe of how well mannered the Dudie became. Then one day, I get home from work and Dudie breaks down in tears telling me something about music and how upset he is with Daddy Dude. Turns out, Dudie was in the wrong, Daddy Dude put Dudie in time-out and Dudie couldn’t comprehend the fact that Daddy can also discipline him. They are best friends like that… And now what…

Well, Dudie has realised that both Mom & Dad can discipline him and he’s cool with that. But it’s not always moonshine and roses…

When your child disciplines you

Yesterday I started cooking dinner and out of nowhere Dudie pulls up the chair (his small chair) and says “Mommy! Sit down. Blah blah Yada yada” Basically, he put me in time-out. OMG!!! Dude was having such a laugh but I was not impressed ‘cos I need to finish the food etc. I realised that I obviously upset this little man but I still have no idea what I did wrong.  After a few seconds Dudie came to stand in front of me and I said that I’m ready to apologise. SO, I apologized, and we hugged and I was granted permission to get up from the chair.

Not even 5mins later, Daddy Dude was banished to the chair. But Dude didn’t follow protocol and just got up after a while and walked off. Dudie scolded him and proceeded to tell him that he (Daddy dude) needs to sit on the chair. I explained that he needs to let Dudie know that he’s ready to apologise. He did and he too was granted permission to leave the chair.

This child of mine is as cute as a button. When time-out is over he happily puts the chair back in its rightful place.

Spirited Mama

 

And 2012 is the year that our child disciplines us…of course we realise that we are the adults and he is the child. At this stage we are engaging in role play to model desired behaviour in our child.

Whilst you were celebrating Mothers on Mother’s Day…

By

On May 15, 2012

In About me, emotions

I didn’t celebrate MY mother!

I did celebrate Mother’s Day though, as I am a mother too. My Dude and Dudie spoilt me. It was relaxed and chilled. We had such a nice day, just the 3 of us…

Back to my mother. When I say that I have issues with my mother, it’s an understatement. Currently, we don’t even have normal conversations. Let me give you an example:

Me: Hello

Her: Hi, how are you?

Me: Good <Sometimes I ask how she’s doing>

Her: How’s Dudie?

Me: He’s fine

Her: Can I talk to him, please?

Me: This response varies according to Dudie’s schedule…

  1. Ok, hold
  2. He doesn’t want to talk right now
  3. HE ran off
  4. He’s busy with his Dad

And that’s more or less it. But coming back to why I did not even call her… A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town.  Now, I haven’t been to their (my parents) house in a long time… <That’s another story! Ai, so many stories…> and this trip was no different.

And here’s why I didn’t celebrate MY mother

I called and told her that we’ll be in Cape Town, gave her our itinerary and pointed out when and where it would be suitable to see the Dudie. On the Sunday, when they were suppose to come see him, she called to say that it’s too far to drive???? WTF? If you want to see him, you’ll come to him.

<I know all about the “But why don’t you take Dudie to them? Or “It’s your mom, you’re the child… Yada yada bullshit! I’ve bent over in all directions. I’m done. I can’t live like that.>

On Monday, we couldn’t get a flight home so we decided to drive 100km’s to visit strategic family members. We were within 5km’s of her, and then she calls my brother (we were oohing and aahing over his daughter at the time) that they going to overnight somewhere. This venue is probably 200kms from them, but it’s too far to drive to see your grandson!

And that, Ladies & Gentlemen, was the straw that broke the camel’s back!

Up until now, she doesn’t know that we were with my brother.  And this is how my life with MY Mother goes… I’ve set my boundaries and I’ve stuck to them. And I can honestly say that the rest of my family has noticed a change in my behaviour, for the better. I am happier and not half as moody. I’m more relaxed and I’m enjoying the small things in life… <Thanks Kelle Hampton for an awesome blog>

I’m taking it one day at a time. It’s difficult to tell myself that somethings are just not worth worrying/stressing about.  There’s nothing I can do to change them. Accept it. And move on.

I am so blessed. And I choose to look at the positives. Thank you to everyone who’s in my life right now.

To all of the Moms out there- Hope you had a Fab Mother’s Day!

Spirited Mama

P.S. I’m blessed to have many mothers in my life, albeit they’re non-maternal.

P.P.S I had this recurring thought on Sunday – “Just because you birthed me doesn’t mean that you’re job is done. Being a mother is forever…” – Spirited Mama

I think the thing that hurt me the most is the fact that she chooses her husband (yes, he is my biological father but that’s as far as the connection goes) or work over her kids (my brother & I). My brother is in his final year of studies and can’t wait to move out on his own.

I am always in awe of mom/daughter relationships as I do not know what that’s like BUT I have other moms/friends/family that fill that void in my life….

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