Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Tag: Emotions

Here’s to the Dads!!!

 

If you’re a Dad, congratulations

Kudos to YOU if you are a “hands-on or involved” Dad. It’s quite amazing to see that there are still guys out there who think their role is to implant you with their seed and VOILA they are ‘Father of the year’ because their job as “Dad” is done.

We really don’t show enough gratitude to the dads who really get involved and dirty their hands when it comes to raising their offspring. As a society, we are hell bent on naming and shaming dead beat dads BUT what about dead beat moms? Why is it shoved under a carpet or no one ever speaks about when the mom is a bad parent? There are so many bad/absent/uninvolved/negligent parents out there.

What Dads should know

Please don’t think that my life as a mom is all roses and moonshine BUT I really cannot imagine my life without my kids(yes I am already speaking of the resident alien as if he is here). Parenting is NOT easy. There is NO handbook. We parent by trial and error. What is good for one family might not necessarily be good for another. Everyone is different. Everyone has different parenting styles. BUT they day that we, Dude & I, became parents we made a commitment to Dudie – to always try our level best and to always be there for him! It’s taken 7 years to have another child. I do NOT take this commitment lightly.

For me being a parent is a LIFELONG commitment! You cannot unparent yourself. There is no return to sender, or 7 day exchange period. Please ensure that YOU are sure that YOU want to be a parent – for your child’s sake as well as yours… Spirited Mama

I am 31 weeks pregnant and counting. Dude is doing most of our housework and taking care of us, all whilst holding down his paying JOB too. Granted he is exhausted by 8pm every night BUT hey he is doing it without any complaints…perhaps silently or in his head but he is sure not complaining to us about it.

So today DUDE we SALUTE you for being an AWESOME husband and Dad. Thank You for taking care of us! We love you LOTS!

Spirited Mama

x

P.S. Anyone MAN can father a child but it takes a FATHER to raise his child!

Competition between siblings

Siblings

I can’t believe how competitive Dudie is with the resident alien, who is still in utero. He is literally competing with his brother even though his brother is still very comfortable and snug in my ever growing belly. Last week I was spoilt with a surprise baby shower for the resident alien. A lovely gesture from some of my colleagues. and some even took the initiative to get Dudie a gift or two.

Do you have a baby shower for your second or third child?

When I fetched Dudie from school , I had the leftover cake in the car. By the time we got home Dudie had eaten the “Baby Noah” off of the cake, dug little holes into the cake and was ready to eat the pretty blue booties. I was slightly annoyed as it just felt as if he was jealous and acting out. (How pretty is this cake and it was SO delicious!)

cake

When he saw all the gifts the baby received his immediate response was “he is so lucky to get all these gifts”. He was fine when he realised he also got some gifts though.

Competition between siblings is real

What gets to me is that it seems that he expects to get something if the baby gets something. How can I change that mentality? How do I make him realise that if one gets the other doesn’t necessarily HAVE to get as well. (I actually know of people who buy birthday gifts for all their kids, even if it is just the one kid’s birthday.) I’m sorry that shit just won’t fly with me. Perhaps I need to give it some time. Consistency is key here. We have had numerous conversations about it and will continue with these conversations because frankly there is no need to be competitive. We love our children and strive to treat them both equally and fairly.

I get that Dudie is only 7 years old and suddenly he needs to share his whole world with someone else, his brother. This brother that he has been yearning for… It’s a HUGE adjustment for all of us as we will now be a family of four.

How do you deal with competition among siblings? How do you handle it? Any advice?

Spirited Mama

x

 

 

Memories

 

Memories need to be savoured

Some days I find myself sitting quietly and reflecting and savouring my happy childhood memories. It wasn’t all moonshine and roses but I chose to remember the good old days…

I remember that fresh baked bread smell and warm biscuits smell coming from Mamma’s kitchen. Stealing half the cookie dough that was left to “rest” when Mamma wasn’t looking.

Some of my best memories were created during school holidays when we went to visit Ma, Mamma’s mom, on the farm in the Cederberg. There is nothing quite like running out in the wild, diving into God made rock pools and picking your fruit straight from the tree and collecting your veg from the garden. There is also that other side, the one that freaks me out a little, about having to slaughter your own meat. I never ate freshly slaughtered meat. Just couldn’t stomach that meat. Don’t get me started on seeing a headless chicken running around the tree – it’s great fun at the time but then they expect you to eat it. No can do.  Up until today I still don’t like freshly slaughtered meat, fresh milk and fresh eggs – it is just too rich. Nothing quite like picking those cherries from the tree – I love cherries – and I used to eat it to my heart’s content. These days they just don’t taste the same…Picking Almonds from the tree. My pockets were always filled with cherries and almonds and you would generally find me sitting on a big rock watching the pigs paly in the mud. We used to love feeding the lambs and billy goats their milk bottles.

Reflecting on the memories

I remember Ma making me rooibos tea, not a teabag from the shop. This was pure rooibos from the tea field complete in her home made little bag and all. And of course those “harde koekies” she used to bake. It wasn’t ginger but I’m also not entirely sure what they were.  I distinctly remember her last batch she made for me, she was in her 80’s and it was just before I moved to Gauteng. She came to visit Mamma and as we stood in the kitchen waiting for her to unpack her basket she said to me “ooh jchent “meaning kind or child” maak tog vir jou moer koffie want daai koekies is so hard en moet gedoop word. And believe me it was moer hard. I ate them with the same conviction as what I always ate those cookies. I didn’t want her to be disappointed…but fuck knows why that batch was SO hard.

Ma also had a puffadder, yes a real live snake, living in the big tree in front of the house. like right by the gate -you need to pass the tree to get to the front door. She called him Oupa. He used to slither on the stoep to wherever he went during the day and come back at night. And this was whilst Ma and the dog would sit on the stoep. They never bothered each other. They had a mutual living arrangement. I shat myself thinking we used to sleep on that stoep, in summer under the beautiful starry skies. Where was Oupa all that time… Probably sleeping on the bed next to us…

Creating new memories

After I moved to Gauteng I used to have weekly Sunday afternoon calls with Ma. I just wanted to check in on her so to say as she lived by herself. I could hear the excitement in her voice every single time as this was as important for her as it was for me. She always said that I must come visit her cos she will NEVER get into an airplane. And she never did. If there was a storm MA would end our conversation so quickly because we cannot possibly use the phone during a storm. She would close all the mirrors and the tv with a blanket because of the lightning. Before they got “Telkom lines” they had an operator system. How each resident knew whose call it was, was beyond me but apparently everyone had a different ring tone/number of rings. But let me tell you those old people were naughty – they used to listen in on each other’s conversations all the time. Sometimes we had a few calls during the week too.

Ma passed away in 2010, just before her 94th birthday. Someday we will take him back to the Cedarberg again, as he was only 5 months old when we went to the funeral. I miss those good old days. I miss her cookies and I miss her rooibos tea. I miss her cuckoo clock – this thing was the most fascinating clock ever. I even miss those rogue geese and ram that used to chase us ALL the time.

I miss Ma.

Spirited Mama

 

Thankful Thursday

I thought instead of a normal blog post I would do a roundup of what I am thankful for today….

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Thankful Thursday Roundup

My Dude, Dudie, resident alien.
The family and friends in my life right now.
The cooler weather in Pretoria today.
Electricity because whilst I should be studying I made an omelet and I’m watching Lucifer on catch up.
My health, wealth and prosperity (I think I am very blessed).
My home, my bed, food and all my creature comforts.
We only have 6 school days left for 2016.

The little bouts of rain making our garden come alive again.
I have little over 10 weeks left before the resident alien joins us in this realm, well that’s if he stucks to his due date. (I am hoping I can have a natural birth again)

Sometimes life gets very busy and very often I forget to just reflect and be thankful for my blessings. So before I get too lazy, let me get off this couch because I have quite a busy day….
I want to check out the new revamped @MenlynMall and of course @H&M and @KrispyKreme all before I go for my 4D scan of my resident alien.
I also need to factor in study time, so I still need to inform Dude that he is on supper duty, I have an exam tomorrow morning.

Be thankful for what you have…I have so much but I am afraid I could go on writing until infinity if I really set my mind to it.

Spirited Mama

Stop and play with the bubblewrap

Sometimes we need to STOP and play

Sometimes we get so busy and forget to just enjoy our present situations and be grateful for our blessings. Dudie and I are in a foul space. We are constantly bickering and quite frankly I’m not sure why. I am concerned that it may have something to do with the impending arrival of the resident alien, who is due in 13 weeks. Could it be a result of him not wanting to share my attention? Could it be that I am talking about the baby more and more?

Dude started painting the baby room, we had a slight mishap read here if you missed it, but thankfully that is now fixed. Soon we will no longer be 3 but 4 humans in the Spirited household.

Stop for some adjustments

As much as it is an adjustment for the adults, I cannot even begin to imagine how my 7yr old must feel. Suddenly, there will be a cute, cuddly and sweet smelling person in our family ALL the time. Suddenly, he needs to share his mom and dad with a sibling. It must be rough.

I am hoping that Dudie and the resident alien will become bosom friends and that they will share a love and connection so strong that nothing and no one can ever break it.

As for now, it is finally Friday. It feels like this week has taken forever. I am tired and my feet are swollen, #27weekspregnant .

I received a package the other day but I will share that news another day. My Dudie was way more excited for the bubblewrap in the box. Even the dog got into playing with the bubblewrap. Dude wanted to throw the bubblewrap away and Dudie protested. As pictured above even the dog went to lie on the bubblewrap to keep Dude from throwing it away.

It’s the small things, like watching Dudie and the dog, find their joy in playing with bubblewrap that fills my soul. I too have a love for bubblewrap. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I NEED to slow down, not because #Iampregnant but because I will miss out on the best patts of life if I continue to rush through it.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. We had a freak storm last night and again at 1am this morning.

P.P.S I am taking the morning off to feed my unborn baby butter biscuits and lie in bed, whilst Dudie is at school.

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