Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Tag: Parenting Page 2 of 3

Here’s to the Dads!!!

By

On December 12, 2016

In Male vs Female, Parenting

 

If you’re a Dad, congratulations

Kudos to YOU if you are a “hands-on or involved” Dad. It’s quite amazing to see that there are still guys out there who think their role is to implant you with their seed and VOILA they are ‘Father of the year’ because their job as “Dad” is done.

We really don’t show enough gratitude to the dads who really get involved and dirty their hands when it comes to raising their offspring. As a society, we are hell bent on naming and shaming dead beat dads BUT what about dead beat moms? Why is it shoved under a carpet or no one ever speaks about when the mom is a bad parent? There are so many bad/absent/uninvolved/negligent parents out there.

What Dads should know

Please don’t think that my life as a mom is all roses and moonshine BUT I really cannot imagine my life without my kids(yes I am already speaking of the resident alien as if he is here). Parenting is NOT easy. There is NO handbook. We parent by trial and error. What is good for one family might not necessarily be good for another. Everyone is different. Everyone has different parenting styles. BUT they day that we, Dude & I, became parents we made a commitment to Dudie – to always try our level best and to always be there for him! It’s taken 7 years to have another child. I do NOT take this commitment lightly.

For me being a parent is a LIFELONG commitment! You cannot unparent yourself. There is no return to sender, or 7 day exchange period. Please ensure that YOU are sure that YOU want to be a parent – for your child’s sake as well as yours… Spirited Mama

I am 31 weeks pregnant and counting. Dude is doing most of our housework and taking care of us, all whilst holding down his paying JOB too. Granted he is exhausted by 8pm every night BUT hey he is doing it without any complaints…perhaps silently or in his head but he is sure not complaining to us about it.

So today DUDE we SALUTE you for being an AWESOME husband and Dad. Thank You for taking care of us! We love you LOTS!

Spirited Mama

x

P.S. Anyone MAN can father a child but it takes a FATHER to raise his child!

Competition between siblings

By

On December 8, 2016

In Kids, Parenting

Siblings

I can’t believe how competitive Dudie is with the resident alien, who is still in utero. He is literally competing with his brother even though his brother is still very comfortable and snug in my ever growing belly. Last week I was spoilt with a surprise baby shower for the resident alien. A lovely gesture from some of my colleagues. and some even took the initiative to get Dudie a gift or two.

Do you have a baby shower for your second or third child?

When I fetched Dudie from school , I had the leftover cake in the car. By the time we got home Dudie had eaten the “Baby Noah” off of the cake, dug little holes into the cake and was ready to eat the pretty blue booties. I was slightly annoyed as it just felt as if he was jealous and acting out. (How pretty is this cake and it was SO delicious!)

cake

When he saw all the gifts the baby received his immediate response was “he is so lucky to get all these gifts”. He was fine when he realised he also got some gifts though.

Competition between siblings is real

What gets to me is that it seems that he expects to get something if the baby gets something. How can I change that mentality? How do I make him realise that if one gets the other doesn’t necessarily HAVE to get as well. (I actually know of people who buy birthday gifts for all their kids, even if it is just the one kid’s birthday.) I’m sorry that shit just won’t fly with me. Perhaps I need to give it some time. Consistency is key here. We have had numerous conversations about it and will continue with these conversations because frankly there is no need to be competitive. We love our children and strive to treat them both equally and fairly.

I get that Dudie is only 7 years old and suddenly he needs to share his whole world with someone else, his brother. This brother that he has been yearning for… It’s a HUGE adjustment for all of us as we will now be a family of four.

How do you deal with competition among siblings? How do you handle it? Any advice?

Spirited Mama

x

 

 

Having kids is expensive…

By

On December 7, 2016

In Finances, Kids

Are you prepared for having kids?

Nothing can prepare you for having kids. I mean you can prepare and save and do what you need  to do but, in my opinion, you will never have everything just right to prepare you for having kids. Dudie is 7 years old and we have a resident alien in utero, who is due to arrive in less than 9 weeks…

As we are wrapping up 2016 we are also preparing for our new journey of becoming a family of four… This is by far a very exciting time but also a bit nerve wrecking as I think – “I hope we can manage everything”. We have been faced with tougher decisions before and somehow when we put our minds to it we make it work. Dude and I make a mean team. We work for what we want out of life. And we work damn hard to achieve it!

Do you know that we have already paid Dudie’s re-enrolment fee for 2017 in October? We also had to pay for his stationery pack for 2017 in October. That I can still comprehend. What baffles me is that the resident alien is still in utero, we don’t even know when he will make his grand entrance aid his fee BUT we already paid his fee too secure his spot for 2017!!! When I completed the enrolment forms many questions were answered with TBA because frankly we don’t know his date of birth/identity number/vaccination schedule/allergies etc…

School fees, just a drop in the bottomless pit, of why kids are expensive

The resident alien’s fees are almost aligned to Dudie’s private school fees….pardon me they refer to themselves as an independent school. Soon we will have two kids in an independent school. It scares me. The cost their education. The cost of living.

I see people moving their kids to different schools because of the costs… What price tag do you put on you kids’ education? Life in general is expensive. For now we bite the bullet and have Dudie in an independent school and the resident alien in his over priced nursery school.

For now I am going to take a walk to the cafeteria and buy myself a treat…

Spirited Mama

Random Conversations with Dudie:

Dudie: Guys when I have to leave and buy like my own house…can I have the BMW please?

Dudie: My tummy doesn’t feel well.

Me: Why?

Dudie: Cos I ate 5 spoons of honey at home…

Year end drain and winding down…

By

On November 30, 2016

In Christmas, Holidays

Can you feel the Year End drain?

SO many of us are feeling that year end drain. I know I am and I know my family is too. Gone are the days when Dudie couldn’t wait for Santa to bring him an alarm clock – you know cos he started big school in 2016 (grade 1) and this clock would help him get ready for school every day. Yeah right! This Mama, aka Santa, stepped in and blessed him with an alarm clock. For the record that ship has sailed as the novelty wore off so quickly. No matter how many alarms were set, if he was tired he just would NOT get up. Fuck the alarm clock and all. He will not get done. He will moan and be difficult with each and every task staring him in the face. Until I lose my shit – then we argue and then he says Mom you’re being rude….the joys of parenting.

Winding down for the year end

Whilst we face this year end drain and frantically trying to tie up loose ends, it is also the most wonderful time of the year. We are preparing for the festivities, for Christmas. The festive season is upon us. A time of joy, laughter, lazy days spent around the swimming pool…and lest we forget the final weeks before the resident alien arrives. This will be our last Christmas as a family of 3 because next year we will have another little boy joining our table.

My advice – cut yourself some slack. The kid made it through the year unscathed. And tonight we will shed a silent tear of pride as he owns that stage at his prize giving ceremony. We only have 3 days of grade 1 left. Go on have a drink or eat some cake cos I’m #30weekspregnant remember…10 more weeks…Somehow, I have a sneaky suspicion that the resident alien will arrive earlier. Let’s hope it’s not too early.

Happy festive prepping. We need to finish the baby nursery.

Spirited Mama

P.S. This morning conversation with Dudie

Dudie: Mom can you pray when you are dead?

Me: I don’t know, I’ve never been dead.

Stop and play with the bubblewrap

By

On November 11, 2016

In emotions, Parenting

Sometimes we need to STOP and play

Sometimes we get so busy and forget to just enjoy our present situations and be grateful for our blessings. Dudie and I are in a foul space. We are constantly bickering and quite frankly I’m not sure why. I am concerned that it may have something to do with the impending arrival of the resident alien, who is due in 13 weeks. Could it be a result of him not wanting to share my attention? Could it be that I am talking about the baby more and more?

Dude started painting the baby room, we had a slight mishap read here if you missed it, but thankfully that is now fixed. Soon we will no longer be 3 but 4 humans in the Spirited household.

Stop for some adjustments

As much as it is an adjustment for the adults, I cannot even begin to imagine how my 7yr old must feel. Suddenly, there will be a cute, cuddly and sweet smelling person in our family ALL the time. Suddenly, he needs to share his mom and dad with a sibling. It must be rough.

I am hoping that Dudie and the resident alien will become bosom friends and that they will share a love and connection so strong that nothing and no one can ever break it.

As for now, it is finally Friday. It feels like this week has taken forever. I am tired and my feet are swollen, #27weekspregnant .

I received a package the other day but I will share that news another day. My Dudie was way more excited for the bubblewrap in the box. Even the dog got into playing with the bubblewrap. Dude wanted to throw the bubblewrap away and Dudie protested. As pictured above even the dog went to lie on the bubblewrap to keep Dude from throwing it away.

It’s the small things, like watching Dudie and the dog, find their joy in playing with bubblewrap that fills my soul. I too have a love for bubblewrap. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I NEED to slow down, not because #Iampregnant but because I will miss out on the best patts of life if I continue to rush through it.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. We had a freak storm last night and again at 1am this morning.

P.P.S I am taking the morning off to feed my unborn baby butter biscuits and lie in bed, whilst Dudie is at school.

Japanese teaches MANNERS before KNOWLEDGE

By

On November 10, 2016

In Parenting, Schooling

I saw this over on the Mumemtoes facebook page and it got me thinking.

14963133_1797580583814265_2026743582891426150_n

What we teach our children

Dudie is currently finishing off Grade 1. If I think about the beginning of this year , how my child came home one day in a flat spin because he is starting to write weekly tests. This was a MAJOR thing for Dudie. He was freaking out. Nowhere have we ever pressurized him about tests etc. Somehow someone must have told him that he should be worried about tests.

Side note – Both Dude and I study and still write exams. We never let our stress show or cause this child anxiety when it is our exam periods.

We have always encouraged the behaviour – YOUR BEST IS GOOD ENOUGH. Everyone is unique. Everyone differs intellectually. You can only give your best. And you should be happy with giving your best.

Manners before knowledge

Seeing this extract about MANNERS before KNOWLEDGE resonated with me. This is exactly how we try to teach and educate Dudie. And hopefully we can do so with the resident alien too.

In my opinion, even if you are a total genius if your manners suck – I WILL THINK THAT YOU ARE AN ARSEHOLE and quite possibly NOT associate with you. I think that some people are too focussed on the ACADEMIC side rather than raising a well-balanced, well-mannered individual. Dudie’s school is very strict on raising well-rounded individuals. It was one of the main deciding factors for choosing that school.

What is your take on this?

Spirited Mama

P.S. I can not believe that I am 27 weeks pregnant already. Freaking out a little as the time is nearing…

Tooth fairies are overrated and freaking expensive!!!!

By

On September 16, 2016

In Dentistry, Dude's Ideas, Dudie, Health care, healthy teeth

gettyimages-588491761-56ddf4bb5f9b5854a9f62ab4

(Image from Getty images…)

So on Wednesday Dudie jumps in the car after soccer practise and announces that his big tooth, central incisor (did you know that it actually had a real name), is loose. I inspect, now bare in mind that teeth pulling is not my thing. I will wipe your arse and clean up after you. Hell I will even clean up blood spills and wounds BUT DO NOT ASK ME TO PULL YOUR TOOTH. It freaks me out! Just the thought of it gives me the hibbejeebees… That is Dude’s job. So I say don’t worry you can ask Dad later to pull it for you.

Fast forward all other extra mural activities and this is how it went down at home…I say can you guys not pull that tooth before we have supper then that way Dudie can eat properly without having to worry about this loose tooth…So Dude and Dudie go off to the bathroom, with Dudie yelling Come on Mom come see…

No thank you Mom is happily setting the table for dinner. I hear the moaning and arguing because now the tooth seems to be tight and slipping and now they are looking for a pliers. I STAY AWAY! Next minute Dude comes out of the bathroom, looking like a surgeon who just completed a 12hour surgery and Dudie comes racing to the table, blood dripping from his mouth I kid you not, but so ecstatic that his tooth is out. I am just elated that shit is over and I did not have to witness any of it. Oh my greatness, I am beyond scared that if anything happens to Dude what the fuck am I going to do??? And the resident alien will also have to go through this process. I am not scared of a dentist, not at all. In fact I have very good teeth. Up to today, I still have my own teeth and NO fillings  whatsoever. I will religiously brush my teeth, to point where Dude has told me I am going to brush the  enamel off.

During our dinner conversation, Dude says wow that tooth is so big maybe the tooth fairy will bring you R50. I choked a little but thought, Fuck am I glad it’s not my turn to be the tooth fairy! Later I say to Dude, don’t you think it’s a bit much? But he feels the kid deserved a royal treat. Then I say, well does the tooth fairy even have cash? Now, please note that I never carry cash, like never. The money that you do find in my possession is probably just the daily aftercare fee that I have to withdraw else my kid and teachers get confused about when he has casual aftercare days…(Tried paying upfront but they fucked up my system so now I withdraw the exact amount and ensure that I have the exact denominations per day for casual aftercare) Anyway, so I had to borrow Dude, aka Tooth fairy dad, R50.

You may have read about our mishap with the tooth fairy last time, if not you can read it here

This time I was so not going to mess this up. When I went to bed Dudie was most likely having his 3rd or 4th dream, so I carefully removed the tooth from under his pillow and placed the R50 there instead.

Can I just say that this kid was so chuffed when he woke up the next morning. Why? Because Daddy was right. The tooth fairy also thought that that was a big tooth and that he deserved R50.

Let’s just hope the next tooth he loses is a smaller one, else I am fucked….just saying…

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. My Tooth Fairy will be standing at the traffic light with a cardboard sign…

tooth-fairy-beggar

( I randomly sourced this image on the net and just inserted my own words…)

 

 

 

Be happy take 1059*87692374896255…..

By

On March 1, 2013

In About me, emotions, LOVE, Time out

Ok, so I haven’t blogged in a while…. I’ve missed it.

I was stuck in Bloemfontein for an extra night as the flight that I was booked on was cancelled…..3 weeks ago! The travel agent did not see that the airline re-validated my ticket to get me booked on the earlier flight! So I spent another night away from home but I did make up for it when I got home on Friday 🙂 I went home from the airport got the car and went to collect Dudie. As I walked in he was just dozing off for after lunch nap. Boy oh boy the look on my child’s face was priceless.

(He did ask me on Thursday evening, when I called to say I’m NOT coming home, if I could fetch him from school. I said I would try my best.) He immediately requested an afternoon swim and a movie :-). We played some cricket, badminton, had a swim(it was excruciatingly hot), we sang along to a song book, and we cuddled and watched “Happy Feet2” on my bed. Needless to say when he Dude came home at 4pm we were both asleep 🙂 I missed my boys. I think the “time-out” did us good as a family, if you know what I mean.

Apart from all the drama happening right now, we’re off to my brother’s wedding next Friday. (My baby bother is getting married) So tickets to Cape Town are booked. Car is on standby at the Rental company. And now we hope for the best because coincidentally it is the Argus Cycle Tour weekend too.

I chose a word for 2013 – Accept

THis year is just kicking into gear and already it has been very challenging. I’m trying to “Accept” the things I can not  change. And to live my life for me, and my family.

So on that note, I say cheers to 2013! I’ve been hearing and reading the same type of message, not the exact same phrase but it comes down to the same message,  over and over that “Many things in life we can’t control BUT we can choose to be HAPPY!!!!!

Happy Friday

Spirited Mama

The case of the missing Oxtail Potjie left overs…

By

On January 23, 2013

In Dudie, Food & drinks, Kids stuff

So you may have read about how I ended up at Wilgers ER but don’t fret I’m ‘A’ for away. No rest for the wicked….

So in between all the fine dining, drinking, partying, just living in true spirited style my Dude made us some delicious Oxtail Potjiekos. (For those who do not know what I’m referring to – You cook your food in a cast iron black pot over coals(firewood/coal fire). It is mouthwateringly tasty. I generally feel that left over Potjiekos(about a day old) tastes way better…

potjies have to be so expensive? We bought a flat based pot to make “Potbread” but is yet to try it out…>

Back to the point. So one day last week, I decided we are cleaning out the fridge, eating all edible left overs and chucking the rest. The spirited family (Dude, Dudie & I) gather in the kitchen and we take on the Fridge! We ate watermelon, cheese, desserts, yoghurts, mango, peaches and then we find the ‘Oxtail”….Ta da da dam! So Dudue decides we’re gona warm it up and go sit down at the table like civilised people who are about to share the most delicious food ever….(As most men, my Dude suffers from “I-Do-NOT-KNoW-WHAT/WHEre- ANYTHING-I’M-Looking-FOr-BUT-I-JUST-HAD-IT-A-Minute-AGO- SYNDROME!) I’m not kidding – he will stand infront of his closet stare at his shirts and continue to ask me where his white shirt is? WTF? It’s right there staring back at YOU! Or the infamous – WHere are my shoes? Really? Like you wore them so how the fck should I know where you put them.

Amidst the cleanup – he asks me “where’s the Oxtail?”  This is how it went down:

Me: How should |I know? You just had it…

Dude: But I put it down on the counter… Now it’s gone!

Me: You know how you misplace things…. Maybe you put it back in the fridge?

Dude: I’ll check. Fck, I just had it.

Then we realise Dudie is no longer there…. So we go searching. We find Dudie sitting infront of the security gate feeding the dogs… yes, the oxtail….Dude runs to rescue it but alas it’s too late. They have devoured 60% of the contents and Dudie is now screaming frantically that it’s for the dogs. We surrender the food and leave him to feed the dogs. We ate crackers with cream cheese… BLEH….

Note to self: Watch child around food. Dude will feed those dogs ANYTHING! As a baby, I was once caught him sharing his dried mago strips with the one dog. He would lick it then let her lick repeat process. True Story. I shudder to think what else they may have shared. Recently, i caught him trying to feed the cockatiels chicken and the drumstick bone…. I calmly said, baby They don’t eat themselves chicken. They will get very very sick. I’m sad to report that our one bird has passed on but we do not know the cause of death…

Spirited Mama

P.S. I’m very busy at work at the moment and hardly have time to pee nevermind lunch. I got to work an hour late this morning, due to delays with the GAUTRAIN!!! Thanks a mil!

P.P.S. My cousin had a baby girl yesterday!

Fevers, time outs and oh yes I need a cow….

By

On January 11, 2013

In Parenting, Time out

FEVERS and when they frequently occur

Ok so ask any parent, kids ALWAYS get sick at night…. It’s Friday morning, I have slept maybe 2-4 hours, and this was interrupted sleep. When I got home Dudie was burning up.  Funny how my kid gets sick when he sees me. We grab some takeaways for Dinner and it actually seemed like the A/C in the car was Dudie best friend.

We arrive home. Bath Dudie in lukewarm water and administer Empaped. No other symptoms except fever…. Dudie ate and read me a story and dosed off to dreamland. We checked on him continuously and it seemed the fever had broke. We retired just before midnight, but alas I heard Dudie fussing.  He was burning up again. We sponge him down, administer Empaped and swop beds with Dude. Dudie came to lie in my bed.

I could use a time out

Goodness me, my kid is a bad, fussy, roll around, kick you, stick his fingers in an orifice type sleeper. He was literally burning me to the touch. At 5am I administered Neurofen. I took the day off to give Dudie some TLC. We’ve had milo cereal and this child of mine looks like a spring chicken. Nothing wrong. No pain. No fever. WTF?

I’m going to squeeze in an appointment with the Doctor as I would rather have a good checkup than deal with casualties on a weekend…. So for now, we’re watching Cars 2,for the gazillionth time, and trying to pass the time until Doctors rooms open.

I need a COW

Oh, about the cow, I love milk. Dude loves milk. Dudie loves milk. My family consumes a crap load of milk in one month….so if anyone has a cow that’s just not being used, could we borrow Daisy for a while? Please? Our milk habits will bankrupt me 🙂 seriously, I need to buy a cow, and learn to make cheese. We easily consume 2kg’s cheddar cheese a month.

Happy Friday Folks

Spirited Mama

P.S. if Dudie is ok after we see a doctor, we’re going shopping. I need a new swimming costume, IPad accessories, vitamins, and maybe some sandals.

P.P.S yesterday I booked a weekend break for the Spirited household. Next weekend we’re having some time out. Whoop whoop

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