Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Month: May 2012 (Page 2 of 2)

When you’re kid starts disciplining you…

How do you discipline your child?

I was at my wits ends a while ago with disciplining Dudie. I am not a fan of smacking but once in a while a good smack on the bum does the trick. This might work for some kids NOT for DudiE. He thinks that a smack on the bum is hilarious. So I’ve resorted to the naughty thinking chair. In a corner, still within my sight but no TV/Games/Snacks/toys/anything that’s fun. He sits there for 2 minutes, then I go and give him “the Talk” about what he did and how it’s wrong, etc

I’m always dishing out time-outs. I even did it in a restaurant. Just took him to the baby room and that was that. Well, after time-out, we had such a nice time in the restaurant.

<I really don’t give a rat’s ass about the stares or the onlookers gossiping about my parenting habits. It’s my child and it works for us>

Does your partner discipline your child?

Dude was in awe of how well mannered the Dudie became. Then one day, I get home from work and Dudie breaks down in tears telling me something about music and how upset he is with Daddy Dude. Turns out, Dudie was in the wrong, Daddy Dude put Dudie in time-out and Dudie couldn’t comprehend the fact that Daddy can also discipline him. They are best friends like that… And now what…

Well, Dudie has realised that both Mom & Dad can discipline him and he’s cool with that. But it’s not always moonshine and roses…

When your child disciplines you

Yesterday I started cooking dinner and out of nowhere Dudie pulls up the chair (his small chair) and says “Mommy! Sit down. Blah blah Yada yada” Basically, he put me in time-out. OMG!!! Dude was having such a laugh but I was not impressed ‘cos I need to finish the food etc. I realised that I obviously upset this little man but I still have no idea what I did wrong.  After a few seconds Dudie came to stand in front of me and I said that I’m ready to apologise. SO, I apologized, and we hugged and I was granted permission to get up from the chair.

Not even 5mins later, Daddy Dude was banished to the chair. But Dude didn’t follow protocol and just got up after a while and walked off. Dudie scolded him and proceeded to tell him that he (Daddy dude) needs to sit on the chair. I explained that he needs to let Dudie know that he’s ready to apologise. He did and he too was granted permission to leave the chair.

This child of mine is as cute as a button. When time-out is over he happily puts the chair back in its rightful place.

Spirited Mama

 

And 2012 is the year that our child disciplines us…of course we realise that we are the adults and he is the child. At this stage we are engaging in role play to model desired behaviour in our child.

Whilst you were celebrating Mothers on Mother’s Day…

I didn’t celebrate MY mother!

I did celebrate Mother’s Day though, as I am a mother too. My Dude and Dudie spoilt me. It was relaxed and chilled. We had such a nice day, just the 3 of us…

Back to my mother. When I say that I have issues with my mother, it’s an understatement. Currently, we don’t even have normal conversations. Let me give you an example:

Me: Hello

Her: Hi, how are you?

Me: Good <Sometimes I ask how she’s doing>

Her: How’s Dudie?

Me: He’s fine

Her: Can I talk to him, please?

Me: This response varies according to Dudie’s schedule…

  1. Ok, hold
  2. He doesn’t want to talk right now
  3. HE ran off
  4. He’s busy with his Dad

And that’s more or less it. But coming back to why I did not even call her… A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town.  Now, I haven’t been to their (my parents) house in a long time… <That’s another story! Ai, so many stories…> and this trip was no different.

And here’s why I didn’t celebrate MY mother

I called and told her that we’ll be in Cape Town, gave her our itinerary and pointed out when and where it would be suitable to see the Dudie. On the Sunday, when they were suppose to come see him, she called to say that it’s too far to drive???? WTF? If you want to see him, you’ll come to him.

<I know all about the “But why don’t you take Dudie to them? Or “It’s your mom, you’re the child… Yada yada bullshit! I’ve bent over in all directions. I’m done. I can’t live like that.>

On Monday, we couldn’t get a flight home so we decided to drive 100km’s to visit strategic family members. We were within 5km’s of her, and then she calls my brother (we were oohing and aahing over his daughter at the time) that they going to overnight somewhere. This venue is probably 200kms from them, but it’s too far to drive to see your grandson!

And that, Ladies & Gentlemen, was the straw that broke the camel’s back!

Up until now, she doesn’t know that we were with my brother.  And this is how my life with MY Mother goes… I’ve set my boundaries and I’ve stuck to them. And I can honestly say that the rest of my family has noticed a change in my behaviour, for the better. I am happier and not half as moody. I’m more relaxed and I’m enjoying the small things in life… <Thanks Kelle Hampton for an awesome blog>

I’m taking it one day at a time. It’s difficult to tell myself that somethings are just not worth worrying/stressing about.  There’s nothing I can do to change them. Accept it. And move on.

I am so blessed. And I choose to look at the positives. Thank you to everyone who’s in my life right now.

To all of the Moms out there- Hope you had a Fab Mother’s Day!

Spirited Mama

P.S. I’m blessed to have many mothers in my life, albeit they’re non-maternal.

P.P.S I had this recurring thought on Sunday – “Just because you birthed me doesn’t mean that you’re job is done. Being a mother is forever…” – Spirited Mama

I think the thing that hurt me the most is the fact that she chooses her husband (yes, he is my biological father but that’s as far as the connection goes) or work over her kids (my brother & I). My brother is in his final year of studies and can’t wait to move out on his own.

I am always in awe of mom/daughter relationships as I do not know what that’s like BUT I have other moms/friends/family that fill that void in my life….

Jacobs Coffee……. What’s your forte?

Coffee and me

I used to be addicted to coffee. In my youthful stage, I lived on coffee, coca cola, chocolate and cigarettes…

<I don’t do decaf – its like smoking a light cigarette because it’s healthier… Really! That’s a fucked up analogy in my book>

Then I kinda became an adult and thought ok, now I need to watch what I eat ‘cos my metabolism is no longer working on its own. I need to get that Bitch to work again with minimal effort from my side. So I cut down on coffee. I love the rest way way way too much. So I cut down from 12 cups to 4. And then 2. And then at some stage none.

I gave up sugar 3 yrs ago, so no sugar in my tea/coffee. My reasoning was that I eat chocolate almost daily so I really don’t need the extra sugar. I really don’t miss the sugar at all.

<I don’t even give Dudie sugar. He gets black sugarless rooibos or sugarless milo or sugarless cereal. My Dude, of course dies a small death ‘cos he feels that the child needs that sugar but I justify it with the fruit juices and chocolate that he ingests. This boy loves chocolate almost as much as I do.>

Why Jacob’s Coffee?

Now, coming back to coffee! I can’t stomach cheap coffee. And yes, I would donate an organ to buy the Jacobs coffee we so faithfully buy. When it looks as if we’re low,  half way through the jar, on coffee I have a mini anxiety attack and dash to shop to get some more. As you know, Murphy likes to fuck up my day and I’ve driven around way too often looking for Jacobs coffee. So when we got back from Cape Town, I realized that the coffee was finished! I had my anxiety attack and then had two choices…

  1. Have some Ricoffy – Dude’s employer gave them a moerse tin and a 2kg sugar – fuck knows why.
  2. Have the last sachet of Nescafé that I took  at the Conference venue when my office went on a Strategic Planning Session.

I chose option 2!!!! Before Dude could! And when Dude asked: “Where’s the Coffee?” I answered: “There’s some refreshing Ricoffy in the cupboard”. He gave me the evil eye as he explained that he wanted needed Jacobs…

<I just had a light bulb moment – I will contact the good people at Jacobs and just open an account. That way they can debit my bank account and I always have coffee. Wonder if I can arrange terms???>

So what’s your favourite coffee?

Spirited Mama

P.S. Remind me to tell you about the fraudulent activity that has taken place on my Credit Card. Sigh, I need to wait a day or two for a replacement card. Do these peeps not know how many awesome deals I’m missing out on Groupon. My Dude refuses to borrow me his card!

Versatile Blogger Award!

Wow, wow, whoa!!!!!!!!!!!! justbetweencousins has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award! NOw, I too am relatively new to blogging and all things related but what an honour. Thank you so much. It is an honour. And so amazing that there are actual people reading my blog…

I was going to do the whole speech but didn’t find time to do hair & makeup this morning. Hehehe! He admits he thinks so to. But don’t fret, it’s all good in the Spirited Household..>

 

 

 

 

Share 7 Facts about me:

1. I too love Coffee (I’m busy writing a post on coffee)

2. I am a Wife, Mother to a 2 yr old, friend

3. I value my friends, albeit they’re few

4. I am a softy but when my patience has run out you will encounter a whole new breed bitch of me

5. I love shoes & shopping

6. I take a day off at work, maybe to frequently for my boss’ liking – but I don’t care My Family comes First!, to spend some one on one time with either Dude or Dudie

7. I became an Aunt on April 24th, my niece Leah was born.

 

Nominate 15 Blogs/Bloggers that I follow?

1. Reluctantmom

2. Remember when we were young

3. Raising Men

4. Harassed Mom

5. I Believe in Miracles

6. Scaredmom’s Blog

7. ZA to CH

8. Miss Preggy

9. Enjoying the Small Things

10. There’s a Lionheart in our Bathtub

11. Life or Something Like it!

12. Motherhood, WTF?

13. MomAgain@40

14. The Fat Diaries

15. Dear Max

 

Well, who knew I would be able to nominate 15 blogs that I stalk read. I might not be subscribing or commenting regularly but I read your blogs daily.

P.S. I work 8 hours a day but after reading blogs, chatting on the forums, having breakfast and lunch I’m too scared to say how much time I actually spend working, PRO.Duc.TivelY! Hahaha…

P.P.S. Note to self – Never divulge identity – it may will count against me for future jobs….

 

 

Update on the frog…

Frog started swimming lessons

So yesterday we started with swimming lessons for Dudie. Wow! Wow! Wow. Oh My Gloria! Dudie went from level 1 to level 2 in his first lesson!  <Can you see/feel how proud I am?>

The school is pretty strict on how they teach the kids.

  1. Parents are not allowed in the pool room ‘cos we distract our kids. <Bitter pill to swallow, but it’s true.  We are allowed to watch them through the viewing panes in reception.>
  2. They follow school terms and once during every term they have a parent’s week when we’re allowed in the pool room. Oh my, I can’t wait for that week.
  3. They also have an evaluation week, termly.

I planned this whole trip to the tee. I even packed his swimming bag the night before. <Yes, I have bags for everything. I even had a back up nappy bag, with set of clothes and all, in his room. Just in case we had to dash out in an emergency with no time to pack a nappy bag J. >

<Can you spot the OCD?>

Anyhoo, I get home 17:15, the trip to the swimming school is only a 10min drive and we only start the lesson at 6pm. So I’m chilled, except for the fact that the entire neighbourhood has no electricity. Traffic lights are out and the road is now a war zone! I’m so blessed to have a husband that gets involved with his son. <Bless your soul, Dude> So Dude gets Dudie a snack and I change Dudie into his swimming costume so that when we get to the school he’s ready. And I can just throw him into the pool. Hehehe. I didn’t mean that literally.

So we arrive at the gate, we drove a moerse ompad (detour for non Afrikaans readers) to get there to avoid all the traffic, with 1 minute to spare. Then we’re told that our instructor is writing exams so we have a replacement coach, a male. Dudie was a bit antsy but took to the coach within  a few minutes. At once stage they were out of my sight but then I saw them blowing bubbles and Dudie doing the monkey crawl unaided. Whoa!!!!

Now the next lesson is on Thursday, and we’ve decided to try the female coach too. We will then decide on a coach or maybe just use both. As both Dude & I feel that it would add diversity to his learning.

He woke up this morning asking when he’s going swimming?

Spirited Mama

P.S. We have a swimming pool but it’s not heated. And no, the solar heated pools are not warm enough for me during winter. It needs to be a proper heated pool. If anyone out there wants to heat our swimming pool, please feel free. I’ll throw in a braai and drinks on the house…

P.P.S When I was changing Dudie in the locker rooms, a young woman just got out the shower “full monty – full frontal” and came to sit on the bench to cream herself. Now, my child is 2 and the only naked woman he has ever seen is me. I could see the shock on my boy’s face. I felt uncomfortable for him, but I did not show him how I felt. I carried on as if nothing happened. Still not comfortable with that! Maybe it’s because of my upbringing. And yes, I still have issues concerning sexuality.

P.P.S. We drove around looking for a place to eat as I didn’t want to sit in the dark. Well, we eventually settled on getting Pizza. We got home, Dude made a fire in our fireplace, and we had Pizza and Champagne! Yes, Champagne. That’s how I roll. We had a romantic dinner with a Dudie who was so happy about his swimming lesson he couldn’t stop talking about it.

A frog or Not…swimming lessons starting soon

So, tomorrow Dudie starts swimming lessons… <Dudie is the frog ‘cos he is as happy as a fish in water.>

Do I have a frog or not?

Yay, for the fact that I won’t have a mini heart attack everytime Dudie wants to play outside close to the pool but NAY on the price tag of Little Swimmers! Oh my Gloria, why should swimming nappies be so expensive? At home we just go “All Natural” but I don’t think that the Swimming Instructor/ other parents/ swimmers will appreciate the view…

My Dude seems to think that we can recycle the swimmer for at least 2 uses but Dudie pees in that swimmers as soon as I pull it up over his behind! Now, I refuse to recycle a swimmer let alone one that was pee’d in. Also, is it just me but is it only Huggies that are genius with swimmers?

Yesterday, we went in search of a swimming cap for Dudie. Mofo, what a mission. It doesn’t look like anyone stocks kiddie swimming caps anymore. Or I just missed them. After opening and fitting numerous caps, we eventually settled on one but I think that it’s not really made for him.

Ready to swim

With that we’re ready for tomorrow:

Swimming cap

Costume 

Little Swimmer (unused)

Towel

One very eager beaver

One very nervous mommy

Can you swim?

My Dude can swim. Me – well I’m water safe. Was thinking that maybe I’ll enroll myself too and hopefully they can do Stroke correction with me. My freestyle looks more like I’m drowning. HAHAHA. But at least I can float …

Spirited Mama

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