Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Category: choices

Motherhood round 2…

Becoming a mom for the second time, albeit 7 years later, was like becoming a mom for the first time.

The adjustment from 1 to 2 children, for me, was and is major. It feels like I have a house full of kids now.

Never ending laundry…how can we have SO much laundry?

Even though Troll sleeps 10 hours straight every night, thank heavens, I don’t. Because I don’t go to bed when he does!

Both kids have the same routine. Our supper time is 18:00 – 19:00. Bath time for both kids is 19:00 and then it’s bedtime at 19:30. For my own sanity, my kids MUST go to bed at 19:30 otherwise Mommy is going to lose her shit. We as parents also need a timeout and when the kids go to bed it’s “Adult Timeout”.

BUT during adult timeout we don’t get a timeout, in fact, we hurriedly try and finish whatever needs to be done. Laundry, kitchen, quick spot cleans here and there, and whatever else needs to be done.

Both my kids were induced. I clearly remember the day when Dudie was born. The nurse asking me to sign the epidural consent forms and all I could think about was how nervous I was to birth my child. I didn’t get that epidural as once the show was on a roll there was no stopping Dudie from making his entrance. That baby was born ALL natural, drug-free weighing a 3.4kgs.

With Troll it was SO different. When the nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural, I declined. She reminded me that it was, in fact, an Induction and that labour could get very intense. I said I know. Been there, done that and got the 7-year-old to show for it. I wasn’t as nervous for the birth as I was the first time. What was freaking me out was what about “the happily ever after” when that little person is forever part of our family. The birth seemed like the easy part. The hard part is raising my kids. Troll was born ALL natural, drug-free weighing 4.04kgs.

My boys are so similar yet so different. Both unique little beings with their own personalities. What I do know is that my boys are happy. Joy beams from their little faces, so surely it is within them. Don’t get me wrong, they can be monstrous at times but thankfully those moments are few and far in between.

Our lives are busy. And we like it that way but sometimes we need to take a step back and just enjoy the moment. I battle with this and I’m running things in my head and sometimes find myself way ahead of where my family actually is. I am trying to make a conscious effort to be present in the moment. I am making small changes.  I try and spend one on one time with each of my sons even if it’s only a few minutes at a time.

Last week, Dudie told me that he knows that we really love him. Also, he reasoned that I love him 50% and Troll 50%. I said nope, I love you both 100%. His response, well then you have 200% love to give. You have got to love this child’s analytical ability, no thanks to his paternal genes 🙂

Thinking back I was very scared of having another child. Purely because I just didn’t want Dudie to share me with anyone else. It is a major adjustment for ALL of us but we are gracefully embracing our new life. We welcomed Troll with so much love that it almost seems like he has been with us forever. He was made for our family. He is the last piece to this puzzle.

Watching the boys together warms my heart. Not only do they share genetics BUT they have an actual bond. A brotherhood. And no one can take that from them. As their parents, we will encourage and strengthen the bond. EVen though Troll is only 6 months old he already searches the room for Dudie.

Motherhood can kick my arse on most days but I am happy knowing that even on those not so great days I am doing the best I can…for my boys.

Motherhood definitely is my best achievement!

Spirited Mama

 

Comfortable in my own skin

Once upon a time, I was the skinny girl. In fact all throughout my schooling. BUT I’ve always loved food. There is WAY too much good food in this world to NOT try it.

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, I even had cake for breakfast on most days, until my metabolism kicked my ass and slowed down tremendously. Now that extra piece of chocolate shows up on my hips/thighs/tummy and/or ass. But I am comfortable in my skin. I like who I am even though those dressing room mirrors are very unflattering. My Dude loves my muffin grip. Me not so much but it is a part of me and I do love myself.

Why do we say we need to accept people as they are but we can’t accept ourselves? Is this struggle greater for women that men? Actually, I’d be quite interested in a male point of view. Dude is so proud of his “Dad” physique. He says I took years to get into his shape.

At this stage I am in between sizes😁 Well that’s how I term it. So I don’t have a standard size. One particular cut might be smaller/bigger. I can never just take a size without fitting the item first… I mean come on ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. I buy what fits me. My body. It reminds me of when I bought my wedding dress 10 years ago. I bought an imported dress but it was too big in some places and needed to be altered. The resident tailor in this Boutique store almost had a heart attack as I was drinking a Coca Cola and eating a BarOne…all whilst she was taking my measurements. Her exact words, “What are you doing? You should be drinking water and eating vegetables!” I responded “Excuse me! This dress will fit me NOT the other way round“.

That statement of hers always reminds me to laugh out loud, literally😂. And to NOT take life so seriously. My kids don’t care whether I’m skinny or not. They care that I spend time with them. My husband doesn’t want a skinny wife. He wants a happy wife. And reminds me ALL the time that he loves me and he loves my body just the way it is. Oh, and did I mention that I grew 2 babies with this body?

Back to the point. Kids are so hard on themselves about what the perfect body image is or should. Why? Aren’t we preaching that we are supposed to love ourselves just the way we are? Believe me, I am my WORST CRITIC. I too was in a space of “I need to look a certain way and I’d be happier/enjoy life more/etc”. Blah blah blah. Thankfully, as I get wiser, I seem to care less and less about what I see on TV/Magazines/Instagram/Twitter etc. I do love seeing the “real” people, you know the #nofilter images, no editing. I have nothing against anyone for living a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit. When people ask me if I go to the gym, I aptly respond with I lift 8kgs daily. But it’s not in a gym, it’s at home when lifting Troll. What gets to me is when you are pushed to the point where you feel:

“I must eat this or that”

“I must be on a diet”

“I must go to gym”

“I must lose weight”

The pressure for some is just too much. Some people are just not strong enough to BE THEMSELVES. Some people are blessed with great genes…others not so much. I see the craze about #wellness trending all the time. But what is YOUR wellness? My #wellness is being the best I can be, in whatever shape or form that suits ME. And another thing “who are these people judging you anyway?” What merit do they have? Do they live YOUR life?

Being a wife/mom/employee/etc takes up ALL my time. I’m just happy at the end of the day to sit down and eat my chocolate in peace… Let me be. I’m a fuller version of myself right now🤘

GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. Whichever way you see fit. In the end, only YOU will be answerable for your life anyway.

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am ME. I am UNIQUE.

I don’t want to fit in. I want to STAND out.

Spirited Mama

 

Calories and my fitness Apps

I never have to worry about calories….

Because I never get the full calorie intake for anything anyway. I.KID.YOU.NOT. Someone always wants what I’m having. A consumable can lie in the cupboard heck even on the table in plain sight and NO one will take it…until I do. Then everyone wants it/some of it.

Also, my family controls my portion size for me so there is no need to worry about over eating when they are around. The problem I face is when I am alone…I love to indulge.

Dudie throws me the “sharing is caring” card. Dude throws me the “I always share with you” card. Troll, aka the baby, is just being himself. If he could eat my boob he probably would… #breastfeedingmom

I must admit, I think I bounced back to my pre preggy body much quicker with Troll than with Dudie, 7 years ago. I guess it’s because now I have to juggle 2 kids, a husband, my job and of course Dudie’s schedule. I know it’s terrible but there are days where I only realise when I am on the verge of chewing my own hand that I haven’t had a proper meal for the day.

Somedays I remember to make a shake and drink it during the school run so that I at least have something. Problem is sometimes I forget to drink it too. Recently, I made a conscious effort to drink more water again. Somehow I got to busy to do that too.

My body is signalling me that it needs fuels but my mind is already planning the next to do list. Even though I am through with the current to do list. Life is busy but sometimes I think I just want to be so in control of my life that I forget to stop and take some time out.

My fitness apps are going bonkers with results of “do you want to adjust your fitness goals?, you did not meet your target number f daily steps, you have many inactive periods (granted this is because I don’t always have the damn phone with me)”. BUT it commends me for waking up on time! That’s a plus right? Even though it shows my sleep records are very poor. Somedays I want to crawl into bed at 9am and just sleep but hey life has to happen in between. There’s being mom & wife, running a house, creating a home, etc. We all do it. And somehow we survive.

inspirational-picture-sayings_15918-0

I need my #momcation

I think I need to take a time out. To reflect. To analyse. To gain perspective. To breathe. I know where my priorities lie but I also need to prioritise MYSELF. I need to show myself some self love.

Exciting times lie ahead.

Spirited Mama

When you live up to your name…

Do you know what your child’s name means? Did you choose it or did you give someone else the honour of naming your child or children? Did you choose his/her name before they were born? Or are you one of those parents who waited until your child was born, to see what “name” they looked like?

I have 2 sons. Dudie is now 7 years old and the new baby is currently 3 weeks going on 4. I can’t believe how quickly the past three weeks have flown by. Where is time rushing to?

When I was pregnant with Dudie, my Dude and I discussed several names. With both pregnancies our kids were planned. We had a few options but none that really resonated and made me feel “aaahhh that’s the name of my child”. Dude is the 4th generation of family names and when Dudie was in utero I decided that we will not continue the tradition. Don’t worry Dude was totally on board with the decision. One day on my commute to work I sought of had an epiphany. Now I am not the very religious type but I do believe in God and I do regard myself as a Christian. Somehow I had a sense of something around me and I knew in that moment that my child’s name was “Joshua”. Nowhere had I ever dreamt or intended for my child/children to have biblical names. But that feeling was so strong and reassuring that I knew he is destined to be “Joshua”.

Some might know and for those who don’t, for a very very very long time I was convinced that Joshua would be my only child. Albeit that I had relatively fuss free pregnancy and what many believe to be an easy birth too. But in 2015, Dude threw me a curveball wanting or rather longing for another baby. I wasn’t quite ready. I wasn’t convinced. And the whole baby thing was left hanging. I spent alot of time considering having another baby. Many people commented that its because I waited so long. The gap is too big. Blah blah blah… I always knew that I was not cut out to have two babies close in age… I couldn’t handle the thought of two nappy bags, bottles, diapers, etc.

Dude is very supertitious. When I told him that our first born’s name is Joshua, he told me that he needed to think about it and thoroughly do his research. He is a firm believer that one lives up to your name. It took him a while to agree that we will name our first son Joshua.

Joshua means “God saves”. Joshua was and still is my happy child. When we looked into the meaning of his name it described my child to the core. We have witnessed how Joshua has transformed our extended families. We have witnessed how Joshua has impacted our families and brought them together. This child is a hellavu kind of special person and I know he is destined to be great, no matter what he does, no matter what he chooses to be one day.

I joked about how if we ever had another child he will be Noah. Never did I imagine that it would be a reality. But in 2017, 2 weeks earlier than anticipated, we welcomed Noah into our little family. From the onset he crept into my heart and I reAlised that indeed I had a sense of longing, just as much as Dude, for Noah. Dudie is as happy as a pig in mud about having a brother. He is super proud and completely “in love” just like us with Noah.

Noah means rest and comfort. Even though he can make his voice as loud and clear as any baby, he is a peaceful child. It is yet to be seen if he lives up to his name but already he has brought comfort into our souls…

Ironically, I named both our boys, and both have Hebrew names. First and middle names but Dude did add the SURNAME😂

Little did I know that this is my destiny. My family feels complete. It’s me and my guy and our boys ❤️

This is my legacy.

This is my BEST life.

 

Spirited Mama

p.s. The sign featured is one that I bought for Dudie to hang in his bedroom.

7 Tips to make your hospital stay more comfortable and enjoyable

When you are admitted to hospital for an extended stay, like I currently am – I am on Day 6 now, #36weekspregnant and all is good with my and baby’s health- you may want to make your stay as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. Well, otherwise you may very well stand with your face pressed against your glass door, albeit in your private room, with a deep longing to run outside and be free.

These are my 7 tips for making your hospital stay more comfortable and enjoyable:

1. Try to stick to your normal routine as if you were at home, e.g. My beauty routine – not that you can even call it that but let’s go with it for now. I packed my belove Garnier Micellar cleansing water as well as my Garnier Hydramatch moisturiser. Yes, I use my moisturiser as a night cream too, well when I remember to use it at night.  My skin always feels dehydrated in hospital so luckily I still had some Vitamen E body butter from the Bodyshop(by far one of my favourites to ise for the whole family). My labello is a life saver. Dudie also uses it daily as he swims 5 times a week and his lips take a beating with the harsh chemicals in the swimming pool.

2. Take a roll or two of BabySoft toilet paper from home. The last thing you want is to be wiping daily with that awful hard Kimberley Clark dispensing toilet paper. Your ass will thank you…

3. Bring your own pillow, if you must. I use a special memory pillow and I know as soon as I use a different pillow my spine/neck or is always fucked. I really don’t need further treatment for things that can be avoided in hospital.

4. Bring loads of books to read. I love reading and can practically read anything. I am currently on some sort of Vampire book, which has been lying at home forever. Just figured now would be a great time to read it.

5. Catch up on personal admin. I have loads of things that I’m busy doing in my head but you know sometimes life get so busy that we never get around to it. I am taking it easy but also setting out some time each day to catch up on my admin.

6. Work and rework your budget. New Year = New Commitments.   For me January is the start of my financial year, why the fuck SARS starts in March and Government in July is beyond me. Along with the new year comes a crap load of things that need to be bought/paid etc. For starters, we settle Dudie’s annual tuition in January. Fuck its like buying a small car every year but at least then we know we never see an invoice about tuition again. Don’t get me wrong, we get numerous invoices throughout the year. Why? Because he is at an independent/private school and YOU as  the parents have to PAY for everything. So just pat yourself on the back for settling the tuition fees in January, grow some balls and pay whatever invoices comes your way. We also have all the extra mural activities, golf, cricket, violin and private swimming lessons. Let’s not even go into our general monthly household running expenses. Ooh, did I mention we are paying the unborn baby’s school fees into a savings account already? Well, cos we are proactive like that you know.

7. Discuss your food/dietary requirements with the hospital staff. I have been here before. I know the menu, it hasn’t changed since November when I was here. I have selected various options from all the different menu types available. Albeit the food is really good, I have designed my own menu. I eat the normal food, vegetatian food, the gluten and wheat free food, banting options and even some stuff from the gastro menu😂 I am currently eating from the long stay menu, who even knew that such a menu existed, but man I’ve have crumbed pork chops, schnitzels and schwarmas….I am not a big red meat fan so most of the vegetarian options have worked out fantastic. No I’m not vegetarian although Dudie and I prefer seafood than red meat.

Only you can make your stay as enjoyable as you want, given you have the right attitude and mindset. There is no point in fighting  the situation, if this is where you need to be. So my advice to you….Take care of YOU and YOUR needs.

Some other observations from my hospital bed:

  • Some people just shouldn’t be nurses. I mean if they don’t have a passion for nursing rather find another career please. Some people are born with the innate passion of caring for others. I am very lucky that I have an excellent day and night team at my hospital takin care of me and my unborn baby right now.
  • Get as much R&R as possible. I know its easier said than done, and I’m the last person to be lying in a bed but it is necessary.
  • If reading is not your thing then bring an Ipad or Notebook and catch up on some series.
  • Bring snacks…I nibble throughout the day so I packed On the go snack packs, Pringles, chocolate and some energade.
  • I got Dude to bring my hairdryer and GHD and voila I did my hair in hospital. I look better and feel better.
  • I made peace with my situation and only now starting to sleep, albeit interuppted stints,at least I’m getting some sleep.
  • I’m using this time to research some investment opportunites…

Ciao for now.

Spirited Mama

Starting 2017 from my hospital bed

I’m amazed at how calm and accepting I am of my current situation, being hospitalised at #35weekspregnant. My doctor has been monitoring me closely, as I’ve had traces of protein in my urine since 29weeks of my pregnancy. I’ve had more than average swelling but my blood pressure has been stable. Just last week, on 1 January 2017 to be exact at 3am Dude and I were discussing the possibility of taking a drive to Durban just because… well We went to bed just after 4am and I woke up with a very strong conviction that I should stay close to my doctor as well as my hospital of choice. It was something that couldn’t be explained but I knew that I had to believe in my sixth sense.

Dude: Why you worried about who catches the baby, if he decides to come? There should be good doctors and hospitals in Durban. 

Me: Not wanting to sound rude but the next time you carry the baby/are pregnant we can take that drive. All I can think about is that horrid episode on Carte Blanche about the lack of service delivery in the hospitals on the N3….

We chilled at home, and I burnt myself to a crisp in the swimming pool. No amount of sunscreen of playing in the shade helped. I am still peeling, face, arms, shoulders, back etc….but it was sooo worth it. I don’t think I have swam this much when I was pregnant with Dudie, 7 years ago. And it helped that Dudie loved being in the pool with me.

The 2nd of January, I decided that we needed to get out of the house. I rallied the troops, even though I had no idea what we would do for the day. I eventually got them all out the house at 1pm. We headed out to Hartebeespoort dam for an ice-cream, cos man alive I was wishing for that bubblegum ice-cream at the Chameleon village. It was so worth the drive.

I ended up buying some lovely trinkets and just stuff because I was in the mood. We ended the afternoon with the most deliciously early supper at Woody’s family grill. Omg, my burger was to die for.img_0629

I went back to work on 4 January as I wanted to sort out the last couple of things in my office before I go on maternity leave. That first day was soooo incredibly hard. I managed to get through the 4 days. On route home on Friday, my doctor calls with some test results which we did the day before, and says “You need to be admitted ASAP”. Me, ok….I am on my way home now so let me get my bags and stuff and I will be at the hospital later.

Well thank goodness i had packed our hospital bags 2days prior, albeit not entirely complete but at least it was packed. I informed my family and we had a late lunch/very early supper at home one last time as a family of 3 + my Great Aunt. (thankfully she is still visiting and can assist Dude and Dudie with keeping our home fires burning).

I was admitted on Friday, 6 January. Diagnosis is Pre-eclampsia. This is all new to me, never had this before. But I’m taking it in my stride and doing what I need to do for this littlest member of of family to have a better chance at a quality life. My doctor has informed me that I will remain in hospital until the baby is born, as she is just not willing to take any chances. I am constantly bring monitored. I love the fact that we are on the same page, and in no way do I feel pressurised, as we want to wait as long as possible so that this boy can stay in utero a bit longer. For now our aim is to get to 37 weeks perhaps even 38, but thats more me than the dr….I guess that technically I am on leave now until Winter 2017 😁

I am sad that I will be missing Dudie’s first day of Gr.2 this week but Dude will be making his day special for him. Just the thought of being away from one another, we are a close Spirited family, rocked our boat a bit. 2-3weeks in hospital, them visiting everyday -thankfully the hospital allows a spouse and own kids to visit any time of the day. I can see my Dude and Dudie is tkaing strain but doing the best they can. They are very independent but I think its just knowing that we are not together at home which is taking its toll on them.

Last night Dude and I discussed how this situation is affecting Dudie. Even though he knows it is necessary for my and his brother’s health and well-being to be in hospital, we can see that it has affected his stability, his environment, his life. He even said that his brother shouldn’t come looking for attention, he should just sort hi,self out😂. Smart kid this one, baby listen to your brother…

I am on day 4 of my extended hospital stay. I won’t lie-it’s not easy just lying in this bed. But I’m being forced to take it easy and just rest for my and my baby’s well-being. From my previous post, Goodbye 2016, I decided that I was going to live my best life. Well if this is how I have to start off to get to my best life, so be it. I am ready and willing and able to bring my part.

Cheers for now from my hospital bed. Here’s to #roomservice

How’s your Monday?

Spirited Mama

P.S. I made Dude bring my hairdryer and GHD as I can at least look presentable whilst lying here 😂 Just need to get him to buy me some more pjamas as I really think I need some more right now. What would we do without modern technology. He video calls from home/shop so that I can decide what I need. Love this Dude.

 

Currently in Spiritville

merit

Last night Dudie received a certificate at his prize giving…drum roll..for MERITORIOUS ACHIEVEMENT IN MATHEMATICS in Grade 1. Whoa! this kid only told us that we needed to attend and that he will be getting a certificate. No clue what for. Nada. He was mute about it. He is such a modest child. We are SUPER proud of him. Of course we had to celebrate and at his request for Sushi, we tried out the newly revamped Ocean Basket @MenlynPark. Wow, lovely. We will be back soon. We were a bit stuffed so we agreed that we could do a special dessert over the weekend.

The other night, I was getting so hot so I woke Dude in the wee hours of the morning to ask him to switch on the aircon. He happily obliged, switched the aircon on and went back to sleep. The next morning he says “WTF, why did you wake me to put the aircon on?” My response – The remote is on your side… He says he’s going to put a glass of water on my side and wake me during the night for a drink…

We are torn between slaving away behind the stove to cook Christmas lunch or whether to dine out this year. For us it is the preparation rather than the actual eating of the meal that is our festive spirit!

We only have 10 weeks left before we are a family of four. Mom, Dad, Dudie and the resident alien. Need to give him a spirited name as he cannot be the resident alien forever.

Today is the 1st of December. Tonight we haul out the Christmas tree and transform our home into a festive place. We will be indulging in chocolate and of course Christmas carols. The countdown to Christmas has finally begun, even though I have not done any Christmas shopping. We have been very pre-occupied with the resident alien but even his nursery isn’t done. I haven’t bought everything that I need or want…

Oh, and I still haven’t packed our hospital bags.

My pet peeve for December – Dude wants to go away for an impromptu weekend. In December! He does this every year and every year I say well then YOU find a place to go to because people book a December getaway a year in advance. Any suggestions? Will have to be in Gauteng though as I don’t want to venture too far from my Doctor or hospital.

Here’s to 2016 Festivities!

Spirited Mama

 

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