Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Category: Mishaps (Page 1 of 2)

Derailed and binge drinking

Not me…the baby…Troll is binge drinking. At first I thought it was growth spurts but it has become a daily occurrence and I guess this is just what he does. I really think I should just connect the tube from my breast pump directly from breast to Troll…

My plans are being DERAILED. Clearly I have forgotten how long it takes to get out of the house with a new baby. Just to get to PicknPay, which is literally across the road from our house, takes forever. I swear it’ll be quicker if I sent one of the dogs with a note and some cash to bring back the goods.

One Sunday I had a plan of action for the day. We would go to church, go to Checkers straight after the service because the toilet paper was on special. BabySoft hasn’t been R79.95 since forever. I wrote about our use of Toilet Paper here.

Then I wanted to stop at Woolworths because I have a gift voucher to pamper myself. And I had to change baby clothes because we had duplicates, a gift we received when I already bought the exact same outfit for Troll.

Well, this is how my plan of action actually went down:

We skipped Church because I just didn’t want to wake the sleeping baby. My 7 year old said “Mom you can just pray harder here at home.” Then my 7 year old took an eternity to get done. In between Troll kept feeding as if it was the end of the world. Me having a hissy fit because the 7 year old showers for an eternity and yet he is the first to preach that we should save water. Oh and then Dude, aka the husband, messages me that he needs to go to PicknPay after work but we should enjoy our outing. I responded that we were going nowhere slowly. At 11am I put Troll down for a nap. I hurriedly dust the bedrooms, get the eldest child dressed and ready for the day. I fold the clothes from the dryer and put the next load. I never hang the laundry. I tumble dry EVERYTHING. Even the ones that say DO NOT tumble dry. I take a quick shower. I nibble on some biltong because with a new baby you kinda forget to eat nevermind make a proper lunch. Then the 7 year old is calling for food. I waiting for Dude to get home from work, just to offer me a few minutes of respite. I look at the clock and think shit it’s only 12:35 but it feels like bedtime again.

Well that’s that. I ate some fruit and some yoghurt. I’ve learnt to stock up on food that you can snack on whilst breastfeeding or handling the baby…One-handed operations only. I never got to PicknPay, neither did I make it to Checkers or Woolworths. I sat down and realised shit I still wanted to go to Makro as well. What used to be a seamless operation now takes forever and a day, planning and coordinated movements…all just to get to the shops with two kids by my side.

I always pack two baby bags. One to take with us when we leave the house and an emergency backup if we need to rush out. My 7 year old always grabs snacks for the road, albeit just to PicknPay across the road. I kid you not. Dude will attest to that.

How do you manage with kid(s)? I only have two but some days it feels like I have twenty…

#thestruggleisreal

Spirited Mama

P.S. My 7 year old says “Mom if you don’t want to smell like the baby vomit just wash with water and soap and you can smell like you”. The honesty of this child sometimes…

 

My hips don’t lie

Pregnancy, hips & pain

Nope, I am NOT Shakira but damn my hips don’t lie either…I think this pregnancy is taking it’s toll on my body. Granted I am 7 years older than what I was with my first pregnancy. With Dudie I had a fairly easy going pregnancy after the ALL day sickness and vomiting for 6 months. I did have swollen feet then and I definitely have it NOW again, just it feels worse this time. Dudie drained my body of calcium and I had super sensitive teeth. Now the resident alien is draining my body of calcium and magnesium and even my slow mag supplement is NOT enough to keep up. Did I mention that the resident alien has given me 5 months of ALL day sickness and vomiting. Oh I love my boys but OMG they take morning sickness to a whole other level.

This morning at 3.am, as I was re-positioning myself for the 5219th time as my hips are killing me and no amount of pillows are making it any better, I woke up with a sharp pain in my left calf. Instantly, my calf muscle went into a spasm and it felt as if my calf was sitting right under my left butt cheek. I grabbed Dude by the arm, and basically slapping him on the chest all whilst screaming “Help Me” in the process. (Dude said that he got such a fright cos he thought WTF – he is being attacked. I think he just got a preview of the imminent birth of the resident alien..)

He was awake in 2 seconds flat and said “what what”. I explained that my calf is in spasm so he proceeded to do a lift movement with my leg, if anyone walked into my room you would think I was busy with a body beat session. Somehow, the muscle started to relax and Dude of course just started snoring again.

Amidst all of the commotion, it took all of my might to restrain my pelvic floor muscles from relaxing because I needed to pee very badly. I hopped, yes I couldn’t step on that leg, to the bathroom and eventually got to empty my bladder, as one would do during a normal 3am pee break at #29weekspregnant.

I am pretty sure that I woke the entire neighbourhood this morning with my scream for help. As I sit here now, I can still feel how tender my muscle is. Let’s hope the slow mag kicks in quickly. My feet are swollen again, even though they are elevated…

It dawned on me that my mind might be young BUT my body is 7 years older with this pregnancy. Hope I can bounce back as quick as what I did with Dudie….

Spirited Mama

P.S. I have had this type of muscle spasm once before as young adolescent. I was asleep next to Mamma. The exact same experience only when I screamed for help, Mamma gave me a moerse slap on my thigh. I jumped out of bed so fast that my muscle just reset itself. Crisis averted thanks to Mamma’s unconventional ways…

Paint me like a….

paint

So yesterday the Dude gets home and is now ready to paint the resident alien’s, aka new baby’s, room. Granted we bought paint a few weeks ago. We even have new paint for our bedroom. Baby room Plascon Double velvet – a soft powdery blue, our room Dulux Colours of the World – Soulful Kenya.

Dude starts painting whilst I’m starting dinner. Something nudges me to go check if the stuff is covered in the room. I get there….and I say as calm as possible uhm what are you doing?”

Granted when I have “that” calm voice you should run because that is when I actually want to use some profanity but I digress and keep calm. Ironically, Dude chose the paint for the baby room. I had a general idea of the color but he chose the final product.

What did he do? He painted the baby room with our paint, the Soulful Kenya colour. Thankfully it was only half of the one wall.

I walked away and laughed it off as I continued in the kitchen.

He did fix it. And now the resident alien’s room is looking very nice. He also started painting our room. I would say with touch ups and finishes here and there we should have two newly painted rooms before the end of this week.

I am excited because frankly a fresh coat of paint is like a whole new room all together. Now to get some decor for the baby room.

Yes, you may laugh out loud. I told you before these things really happen in Spiritville. I do not make these things up.

Spirited Mama

P.S. So the USA got TRUMPED! I am gobsmacked.

How my GUESS watch saved me from a snake…

guess-watch

Yes, you read it right. This post is about how my GUESS watch saved me from a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra.

So in 2015, we got lucky when I called a place for a last minute booking over the Easter break. I found it in the Dinokeng reserve. Now I have absolutely no qualms, even after this incident, with nature. I get that I am in the wild and in their territory and rightfully so I respect the wildlife. But fuck lately I am having more goosebumps and hair raising experiences than I would like….

Anyway, we were so chuffed to get this last minute booking. Arriving on Good Friday, to a place where you are told warned “Please close the gate after you enter the camp as the Big 5 roam free in the reserve”. Now, a rational person would have said fuck that I am heading back to civilisation, but NOT this Spirited family. No we will find these places. And we will conquer them.

We arrive and unpack. We are impressed for a Bush Camp. Only concern, the bathroom is sort of outside of the bedroom and kitchen. You need to step onto the porch to get to the bathroom door. Now  this doesn’t bother me but it sure bugs the hell out of Dude who is paralyzed at the mere sight of a spider, no matter what size. We decide to explore the camp and take a stroll across the lawn to the pool and recreation centre. This is about 500metres from our porch.

Inside the recreation centre we find a pool(snooker) table, table tennis, a tv area and a long dining room table…so I tell myself do not stick your hand into the pool table as you are out in the wild and need to be weary of snakes and spiders. I discover you can actually exit by the pool table as well.

Dude and I start playing table tennis. Dudie interjects and I say you play with Dad, I want to check that room past the tv. I walk past the front door where we had entered earlier and as I pass a huge gas heater I feel my left hand is wet. As if someone sprayed it with water…I stop and think that I just passed a gas heater, this whole camp is thatched roofs and if gas is leaking and a fire breaks out we are all fucked. So I backtrack…slowly walking backwards to check this gas heater. And right there on the floor next to the gas heater lies a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra.

mfezi

MOTHERBUFFER! With my mind racing and me calculating that if I run around this fucking 12 seater table this snake can surely just slither underneath and stop me on the other side, or if I scream or startle the snake it will have a go at me…very calmly I say ” Dude, take Dudie and go out by the pool table. Dude, huh? I repeat myself but this time a bit louder and with more concern in my voice. As they exit, I calmly walk around this table so that I too exit at the pool table.

Once outside I was freaking out. We ran speed walked to the owner and informed him about the snake. He checked my hand and arm for any scratches or cuts and said Sussie jy is Fokken gelukkig hy hou van jou blink horlosie” (sister you are fucking lucky he likes your bling watch). So off he goes in search of this snake.

We did inform the other visitors who we met along the way not go to the recreation centre as there is a snake. We get there with the owner and already there are some guests who wanted to catch the snake. The owner goes inside and calls me to the door to check if the snake that he caught is in fact the right one. At this stage I am shitting myself thinking what do you mean the right one. I said yip it is without even looking.

He confirmed it was a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra and guess what they spit from any position. They do not need to stand up or flair up to spray you with venom. Although, it’s more the bite that you need to be careful of. Sadly, he killed the snake as he says the camp is full and the snake has obviously settled there so if he leaves it the snake will most likely just come back. And it might not be a happy ending next time. Can I just say that although relieved I was very sad that they had to kill the snake. Dudie, up til today, is still pissed that the snake was killed. He asked the owner, do you think God is happy with you killing his creatures? There was a veterinary Doctor as well who agreed it was best to kill the snake.

After all that commotion we headed back to our chalet. Slightly more cautious being there. Feeling exposed and vulnerable. Dude goes to the bathroom, and starts cussing…well you guessed it. There was a spider in the bathroom. On the door that he just closed. The very same door that he needs to touch to get out of there. He only saw this spider once he decided to use the lavatory. I was beside myself with laughter. I rescued him, after I laughed and laughed and laughed…

That night we did not sleep much. Me worrying about snakes and Dude worrying about spiders. The next day we were scheduled to go on a game drive. We arrive at the pick up and the owner says “Sussie jy het my so laat skrik, Ek was bekommerd oor jou. Ek is Bly jy is ok” We had a lovely sunset drive but thankfully didn’t see the lions. I think I had enough of the wild for a while…

Last night there. We wake up and Dudie is covered in red spots. Like everywhere. We looked for snake and spider bites but nothing. Then put it down to sand fleas…but we packed our stuff and headed straight to Dischem in Pretoria, about an hours drive from the bush camp. The pharmacist was chilled so naturally we were chilled. Got some meds and went to the comfort of our snake free home.

The next day Dudie looked even worse. We headed to Pretoria East Hospital and the trauma Doctor on duty said it was some sort of virus that Dudie had. Gave stronger meds and sent us home. It took a few days to clear but thankfully he was good as new in no time.

Suddenly I remember why we haven’t been in the bushveld for a while.

Did you know that the Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra is considered the most dangerous after the Black Mamba?

I am so grateful for my bling GUESS watch because this snake thought it was my eyes and had a go at it. I am the person wearing a blinging GUESS watch in the bush. I also always wear my sunglasses…

Spirited Mama

How I ended up at Wilgers ER on Friday morning…

So a whole week went by with me NOT blogging. Don’t get me wrong I have loads to blog about and believe me it’s blogworthy but I’ve just been living, working, being mom, being wife…. It’s been busy but good busy.

So after my Dudie miraculously recovered, I thought ‘Yippee’ we are in the clear… Until Friday morning, I woke up at 5am with an itch just above my knee. I took a shower and then realised that my face is hot and it stung to the touch. I exit bathroom as I now feel nauseous from the steam in the bathroom. I go and examine myself in the mirror. Big mistake. I had a rash of some sort spread all over my left side of my face, on the upper chest area and it was spreading to the rest of my body fast… Within minutes my face, neck, chest, arm etc was covered.

I go to check Dudie, as he snuck into our bed in the wee morning hours, but he was clear. So I take a pic, send it to Dude nd call him. He’s response was go to ER now… Don’t be stubborn and wait for 8am. Go! now!

SO I dress Dudie hurriedly, grab keys, wallet and Dudie’s school bag. Dudie stared flipping out as  he kept saying “mamma, you got an eina! YOur face got an eina!!!!

We arrive at ER, the nurse gave me one look and said you must be the patient, he’s way too happy 🙂 They did the routine check and within no time they adminitsered meds via IV. CAn I just add that if at all possible do not take your 3yr old to ER with you. UNless of course said child is the patient. My child tampered with my IV. At one stage I felt very dizzy, only to realise that my child has increased the flow of my meds. I’m not kidding. He climbed everywhere. Played with the staff, ran up and down the passage all whilst I lay, dizzy, on the bed.

The nurse offered him toast for breakfast which he politely declined but requested Calamari:-) Ai, you must love this child of mine. I said we could get Calamari later when we left. after 2 IV’s they gave me the ok to leave. BUt I had to get home and to bed soon. So I vowed that I was going to take Dudie to school and then get to bed. They reiterated that the meds I had just received is quite heavy and that I will not function properly. As I dropped Dudie, I could feel my head buzzing.

By the time I reached home I was floating. Now, I know what a “high” feels like. LMAO! I called Dude, armed the alarm and went straight to bed. When I opened my eyes, it was after 1pm and I had no recollection of my sleep time.

The doctor called it an allergic reaction, wheels and flares because of the severity and rapid spreading. Blood tests confirmed no infections. So up until now, we still don’t know what caused it. I did not eat anything different or do anything different…

After my morning slumber, I happily packed our bags and when Dude got home we headed to Mount Amanzi for our weekend getaway. I was still high on meds but we had a nice weekend away none the less. Oh. I also baked a bread and red velvet cupcakes…..

And I can safely say that all spots are gone. No indication of what happened what so ever. And thank goodness it was not contagious…

Spirited Mama

 

Today’s Funny

Really? This Really happened… Serious! For the record – I didn’t do it.

 

Fear of the Unknown

So Dudie has graduated to his big boy bed. And quite frankly, I’m scared of what’s to come! Do we now have to remove all keys in fear of child getting out of his in the middle of the night? Or trip the electricity in case this child finds that one dreaded plug that doesn’t have a child protective cover? What if he let’s the dogs in? What if he drinks water out of the fishtank or toilet? What if he uses his step stool to get the knife and run around the house like CHUCKY????

You see where this is going…

I know that I am a paranoid parent but this can happen… So it was the greatest achievement yet when Dudie could get out of his cot. Secretly, I think he’s been doing it fo ra while without us knowing about it. I mean, how does the child just appear next to you when you know you left him in his cot? So on Saturday, I tell the helper to please just keep an eye on him as I need to jump in the shower quickly. I get out of shower and the two are happily playing with the ball . Fast forward to afternoon, and I put Dudie down fo ra nap. Dude pies up, “Why is it so quiet in the room?” We check and sure as hell his half way out the cot. So we move back and wait in the living room. Trues bob ” Dudie annouces ” Mommy get out the cot!” And so it went until he eventualy fell asleep at 5:30ish and woke on Sunday at 6:03AM!

Heaven – because he slept straight through. Normally he would wake, bath, eat and then sleep but not this time.

Hell – Dudie woke me at 6:03AM for porridge! Again, he climbed out the cot. Everytime he would ask to get in the cot just so that he could climb out.

So now, I lie awake, seriously, wondering when/what this child will get up to next.

P.S. Saturday at 10am I thought that Dudie and I could catch a snooze, him in the cot and me on his bed. Boy was I wrong. I dosed off, he climbed out the cot. When I opened my eyes (I promise it wasn’t even 2mins – I could see that on the movie time):

The house was full of toilet paper.

The kitchen floor was wet.

My dudie was standing at the bedside attempting to brush MY teeth.

 

P.P.S My Dude had to go to work for bit. WHen asked how our morning was I said… “Great. We played and watched a movie…”

Because he loves water

Dudie, your love for water will get you into shit! With Daddy – hahaha!!!! And sometimes Mommy!

My Dudie loves water. This has been the case in like forever!  He can easily consume 2l of H2O per day. This will include tap water, bottled water, bath water, pool water, soapy dishwashing water! I kid you not and I shudder to think of the other possibilities around our house. We have dogs/fish/birds/wishing well/toilets…

After the Sta-soft incident on Monday, Dudie wanted to help wash the dishes whilst I cook some dinner last night. Note that Dude when to run Dudie’s bath whilst Dudie was under my supervision in the kitchen! Please note that I was juggling a hot pan with oil, some other food elements all whilst trying to balance Dudie on his step stool infront of the sink. I turn for a split second and my child scooped some lovely dirty soapy water with one of the dirty mugs and drank it. He even made that Aahhhhh sound afterwards.

I’m trying not to laugh and reckon that he’s been drinking bath water for almost 2.5yrs so he should be ok, right! In walks Dude and his response WTF? <Did I mention that 2minsprior Dude and I had a minor disagreement> He probably wanted thought of calling child services but he did the responsible thing and removed the child from the sink. He proceeded to bath him and then fed him some very nutritious dinner.

I giggled a bit. Such is life. There is no manual for parenting. It is merely someone’s opinion of their trials and errors. Whilst my child is alive, healthy and kicking we will experience life day-to-day – dirty water and all.

P.S. initially I did fret about this child drinking bath water. And on one occasion I spoke to a friend of mine, she’s an environmentalist specialist. Her response was simple: ‘At least he won’t be constipated!” Well that eased my mind. And yes, he’s as regular as can be.

Fresh as Baby Sta-soft

I have this thing with Dudie about smelling his breath after he brushes his teeth. We make a game out of it, much like the scene in Despicable me where Gru asks the girls if they brushed their teeth.

Back to the point, on Monday I left Dudie unattended for 2seconds, I promise it was no longer than 5 seconds… But let me just say that I had a feeling Murphy would get me back. Do you know that for the 29 months of my son’s existence he has never just pick up things and popped them into his mouth. He’d bring the said item to us almost to as if getting approval to eat/chew/lick etc. Woohoo, I was such a proud mom!

But on Monday I got that feeling that I just need to see what this kid is up too and low and behold – he bit a hole into the sta-soft refill and was busy sucking the contents out of the bag!!!!!!!!!!

My response: Ooh, fresh as baby soft!

Disclaimer: Please note that no kids were harmed!

I would never intentionally burn the house down.

So on Saturday, we decided to have a braai (it’s a barbeque with a real wood fire and proper meat – for those who don’t know). And my Dude asked if I would make rooster broodjies (braai bread/rolls).

I obliged and to speed up the process of waiting for my dough to rise – I put it in the oven and turned the oven on. Just a bit to warm it up and then I’d switch it off again. Now, I have done this before and it worked like a charm. All you do is wrap your (plastic) bowl, with dough, in a cloth and store in lukewarm oven…

How I almost burnt the house down

Then I proceeded to play with Dudie outside whilst Dude was braaing the meat. Tadadaum (insert scary music) – Dude goes to get the dough… A few minutes later he comes back and says “you need to check on your dough”. I realise shit there must be a problem. I run and guess what I find. A cloth which used to be white is now burnt brown. A plastic bowl is now stuck to the fucking oven rack and the melted bits of plastic is all over the oven. The dough, dead! I managed to salvage some to make 8 rolls…
On the upside, the meat was awesome! Well done Dude! You haven’t braaied like this in a while.  Lesson learnt – do not leave oven unattended when attempting to speed up rising process.

Do take not to burn your house down

Please do not try this at home. My Dude had a shit fit about how the house could’ve burnt down and blah blah blah. I’m not mocking you but really, I thought I was suffering paranoia…

Spirited Mama

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