Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Category: Parenting Page 5 of 6

I was NOT born That way!

By

On June 20, 2012

In About me, emotions, Parenting

I just need to vent a bit.

I have been trying to catch up with work/family/blogging/readers/life/flu….

Last week Monday, we got back from Cape Town. <Thank you for the awesome weather. We were overdressed. I kid you not>

I get to work on Tuesday, and just like that, that sniffly cold that I had before we left turned green and ugly. FAST!

On Wednesday, I go to the doctor’s rooms to try to sneak in early. But there were probably 50 people there, who all seemed to have something very contagious. I backed out and asked the friendly receptionist to give me call when it’s safe to return.

Oh, did I mention that the Dudie also showed symptoms of a cold. Well we got to see the doctor at 6pm that evening! I wa son my way to flu and Dudie was still on the “cold” front. We happily take our meds and take the rest of the week off….

On Thursday, Dudie made a miraculous recovery and every time I gave him his meds he seemed to get energised??? WTF! When I took my meds I became more and more drowsy! On Thursday, my Dude got a speech from hell, not sure what it was about but I blame my dementia on the flu meds… Dude proceeded to suggest that I take the Dudie to school half day on Friday.

<I had other plans>

I am not Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)material. I shit you not! I could be a SAHM everyday! The Dude and Dudie enjoy the fact that when I am home for a day they get spoilt with home made goodies etc. But Reality check boys – If I were a SAHM – you will NOT get those treats everyday! The novelty will wear off so quickly you’ll be begging me to go back to work! I need to work – for my own sanity. I enjoy working and I do love financial freedom! I sit on the edge of my seat monthly waiting for my sms that my salary has been paid!

On Friday morning, I drag myself out of bed. Bear in my Dudie came to lie in my bed from 7am until 8:30ish. I take him to school, return home and drop on the bed. I woke at 3pm with boots and all under the covers…

Dude had to work this weekend. So, Dudie and I got to sleep a lit later than usual, 9:15, on Saturday. By the time we got to the market, which is across the road from our house, it was 10am and they had packed up. Dudie was pissed cos he didn’t get his Saturday pancakes. So we only fed the ducks, geese & turkeys and left.

We went to Woolies and got pancakes, yoghurt, sparberry cooldrinks, cocktail sausage rolls and sweets and we had a picnic in the parking lot.  BLISS!

We got home 20mins before Dude. I put the leftovers in the kitchen for Dude. The helper was there to do her weekly thing and Dudie & I proceeded to go and have a siesta. We were sick remember. So were need to rest. It’s Wednesday, and I’m still sick. This is going on 2 weeks now. How long will this take???

This Mama needs a break!

P.S. I’m an emotional wreck when I’m sick. More like a ticking time bomb. As a mom, when do we get a sick day? Just a fckin day to be sick? Why do we always need to be the go to person?

Last nite at 9:45pm, whilst my Dude & Dudie had been in sleep heaven for over an hour already, I was still folding the washing/making fish cakes – that can just be fried today/cleaning the dishes/packing lunch/loading the machine with more washing/picking up papers/cleaning the bird cage/telling the dogs to shut the fck up/eating frozen strawberries & bananas/having tea/etc

I was wondering what other moms do to balance their lives and daily tasks…. My body needs 5-6 hours sleep to function. I can run on 1-2 hours but that’s not a pretty sight so let’s not even go there. I don’t do interruptions well either! How do you balance life/family/work/marriage? Somethings gotta give and currently my Dude is taking strain. He aint getting my attention. By the time I was done last night, it was well after 11 and I slumped on the couch to watch a really bad movie on DSTV and just sip my tea and enjoy the peace and quiet!

Enough of my rambling…. I need to take a road trip! I’m already looking at possibilities. Also this will be just in time for our annual increase…

What will you be when you grow up?

By

On June 8, 2012

In Dudie, Holidays, Parenting

I have no desired career path for my son. I want him to be whatever he wants to be…

<It’s very weird how parents live out their dreams through their kids. What about that kid’s lie/choices? >

Dear Parent:

YOU had your chance, now back off!

Sincerely

Your loving child

 

All I know is that my Dude & I agree that we want to expose the Dudie to everything we possibly can. From musical instruments to cooking utensils. From Spaceships and aeroplanes to cars and bikes. And I can go on about this forever but basically we decided “Unlimited Exposure” for the Dudie. And hopefully somewhere along the line he’ll find his passion!  

Your Life! Your Choices!

On a different note:

We’re off to Cape Town for the weekend!  We’ll be soaking up some sea breezes and mountain air. Eating seafood at Mariner’s Wharf, this is non-negotiable on every trip J  And taking in babies galore. *Weather.SA* says that it’s going to be sunny skies in Cape Town this weekend. It’s going to be cold; I think the max temp is 14 degrees. Yikes! But there’s no rain forecasted. I’m crossing thumbs and toes… We’ll be creating memories  

Happy Friday Folks!

Happiness is

By

On June 6, 2012

In emotions, Family, LOVE, Parenting

Do you believe in fate/destiny? Are you more the “factual” type. Or you don’t believe anything if you can’t see/touch it?

Do you know how hard it is to see the silver lining/positive in any and every situation ALL the time? <This is my greatest challenge as I naturally worry about EVERYTHING! But I’m trying and it’s been a few weeks now. I can honestly say that I feel better. We live better. We seem happier in general….>

My child has brought out some childlike qualities in me, again. And I’m loving it! He reminds me to just live… Just be happy.

Enjoy the moment! Create the memories….

My hope is that when I cease to exist, my child will remember our moments together….

And with that I leave you with this quote I found on P.Int.erest.

P.S. I have no idea who to credit for this, and I’m not in the mood to do a detailed search… So if this was yours – Cheers to you!

 

Me and Mrs Jones….

By

On May 29, 2012

In emotions, LOVE, Marriage, Parenting

Dude and I loved love dancing. Albeit he’s the better dancer, I still think I rock!

<A few years ago we were invited to an open day at a dance school. We had so much fun! The instructors told bith Dude and I that we need to be more stiff??? Apparently we move our hips to much? Well, my hips don’t lie!!!!>

Dudie has always liked music. And just like his mom, he enjoys a wide variety. Different genres. We even have Dude enjoying genres other than his norm.

I got home last night, granted I just needed to touch up dinner, as I had cooked on Sunday evening already. Within 5 minutes of me being there, the Dudie puts on some music. 2yr old knows exactly how to work the CD/DVD player.>  He, Dudie, chose the CD and the very first song to play is: Me & Mrs Jones… My Dude was within 2 metres of me, I give my Dude a bear hug and we slow dance in the kitchen…. We progressed through the kitchen to the living room, where Dudie was leaning against the couch. Dudie gets extremely shy when his Dad shows any affection towards me.

We invite Dudie to join in our dance but he point-blank refuses. But he did end up dancing with mommy, all by himself. See neither one of my boys wants to share me with the other. 🙂

Dudie and I ended up dancing for 20 minutes. He was so impressed with his Mommy’s dancing skills, albeit it was spinning and twirling etc… Those are the memories I want my child to have of me.
And again I embedded the smiling face of my son in my memory box…

P.S. I am well aware that as I age my metabolism slows down. I am NOT a gym person. You will NOt get me to sign up for Gym membership. I don’t care about your stupid specials. I believe that if i just get dancing again, maybe I’ll shed some kilos??? Dudie has me dancing for 20 – 30 minutes almost everyday now! I’m well aware of how unfit I am but I’ll get there….

P.P.S If you haven’t seen/bought it already you need to get Happy Feet 2. The soundtrack is amazing. We copy the dance in the intro and by the time the routine is done, I need to wipe the sweat…

 Watch the trailer here. How can your spirits not be lifted after that? Bridge of Light is one of my all time favourites to sing to Dudie…<It also helps him to vent his anger/frustrations cos he understands somehow what little Eric is going through>

 

To Infinity and Beyond…

By

On May 22, 2012

In emotions, LOVE, Parenting

For a while I’ve been toying with the idea of doing a “Bucket List”. I’m a professional procrastinator… So after A LOT of consideration, and reading the last post from Kelle Hampton’s Blog “Enjoying the Small Things” I decided to break it down into smaller chunks. Rather than having a long list and weekly list seems more doable.

I’ve made a conscious decision to try and see the positive in each situation. <IF you read my first post, it seems all doom and gloom. And let’s not forget the issues that I have with my Mom. That’ll probably never change. But I’ve made peace with it. And I choose to see the positive! I choose HAPPY! I choose LIFE!>

I have a son and for what it’s worth I will try my very best not to let him experience the hurt/sadness/disappointment/trauma that I faced growing up. I consciously choose to do thing s for him and with him. I want to create happy memories for him. <Now, I’m not saying that growing up was all bad but I remember mostly negative things – Maybe this is all my brain processed???And I’ve blocked out the rest?>

I try to soak up my son every chance I get.  I want to remember him. I want him to remember me. And our moments together. <I feel that I need to find a way to incorporate Dude as we have kinda left him out of many of our bonding sessions. But Dude has his own sessions with Dudie.>

Life is too short to be stressing about things that are beyond my control. <On Mother’s day my dude told me How he noticed the difference in me. A positive shift in my being… That was the nicest thing that he could have told me as I felt happier, was more relaxed but couldn’t pin it for some reason. And then it struck me… I a while ago I told myself that I need to enjoy the “Here and Now” and just enjoy the small things. Those are the things that matter!>

This morning at 12:05 am Dudie came to sleep in our bed. We were uncomfortable and cold, as Dudie doesn’t like to be covered but we didn’t care. We bonded as a family. So with stiff bodies we rose to this beautiful day. Amongst our morning chaos and Dudie trying to snuggle with Dude so that I can’t take him to school, we still managed to leave the house 15minutes earlier than usual! I still have no idea how we did that! So as I pull out the driveway with an unhappy 2yr old telling me that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore and that Mommy must take care of him… My heart broke. Am I doing my child an injustice by working full time? I am an independent woman. I need want need to work. Maybe I just need to find a JOB that only requires my attention for a few hours… But how? I had all these thoughts racing through my head… And then I decided, I’ve changed our world by enjoying the small things and by creating time for us. Let  me not stop now… So I did it.

We went to McDonalds drive thru and ordered a Sausage McMuffin to share… Dudie had his Milo and I had my coffee and off we went to school. The look on my child’s face when we got out food from the drive thru was unbelievable. You’d swear someone handed me a bag of diamonds or cash!!! We arrived at school. I parked in the bay, looked at my watch and decided fck this, I’ll leave when Dudie is done eating. I’ll get to work when I get there. We sat in his classroom, on little red chairs at the green table. Drinking our coffee and sharing a McMuffin. All whilst Dudie pointed out the pictures and objects on the wall. That right there was where my heart burst with love and joy. That was Priceless!!!!!

 P.S. I was going to do a Bucket List post but I got carried away here. So I’ll do the list in the next post…

 

Ciao

Blowing bubbles

By

On May 18, 2012

In Dudie, emotions, Parenting

So update on the frog and it’s going swimmingly. Remember he has two different instructors, the guy on Tuesdays and the girl on Thursdays… Well, it’s really great to see how this frog is progressing. If you want to, you can read about the frog here.

Last nite we had the girl instructor and albeit she’s happy with his progress and all that, she feels that the Dudie needs to practice blowing bubbles at home. I responded with “ But he does. And he’s so proud of himself. And shows off this skill in the bath and all” Well, she said maybe he’s just shy around her…

This left me thinking;

Do I just let him take lessons with the guy? They seem to get on very well. Kindred spirits and all. Or do I try just once more with the girl?

I think I’ll try once more. But then make my final decision. <Even the Dude feels we need to try once more>

We got home a little earlier than usual; our lesson was moved up as someone didn’t pitch. We ate left over Lasagne and shared some Nesquick… I gave him his bath and we polished brushed his teeth.  We then proceeded to his room where I tried to dress him but tonight this task was not smooth sailing… Dudie kept jumping up and down, trying to wiggle off the bed, anything to just not get dressed… The air was filled with laughter… And Dude making home videos. Then Dudie asked me to lie there with him. I soaked you up, albeit my tolerance level was low and my patience running out. I tried to focus on the “happy”. I filed your smiling happy face in my memory box, forever to treasure…

We played hide and seek under the covers and eventually we just fell asleep. Well not before you poked my nose, and pulled my ears and played with my hair and opening my eyes and telling me “Wake up, Mamma…” You haven’t called me Mamma in forever. And I loved it.

I need to remember to focus on the “happy”, the “here and now”….

Xoxoxox

P.S. My brother is almost ten years younger than me. He had a nesquick addiction, like I think I have and Dudie is developing… My brother uses to call Nesquick,… BUNNY! He always wanted BUNNY!

When you’re kid starts disciplining you…

By

On May 15, 2012

In Dudie, Parenting

How do you discipline your child?

I was at my wits ends a while ago with disciplining Dudie. I am not a fan of smacking but once in a while a good smack on the bum does the trick. This might work for some kids NOT for DudiE. He thinks that a smack on the bum is hilarious. So I’ve resorted to the naughty thinking chair. In a corner, still within my sight but no TV/Games/Snacks/toys/anything that’s fun. He sits there for 2 minutes, then I go and give him “the Talk” about what he did and how it’s wrong, etc

I’m always dishing out time-outs. I even did it in a restaurant. Just took him to the baby room and that was that. Well, after time-out, we had such a nice time in the restaurant.

<I really don’t give a rat’s ass about the stares or the onlookers gossiping about my parenting habits. It’s my child and it works for us>

Does your partner discipline your child?

Dude was in awe of how well mannered the Dudie became. Then one day, I get home from work and Dudie breaks down in tears telling me something about music and how upset he is with Daddy Dude. Turns out, Dudie was in the wrong, Daddy Dude put Dudie in time-out and Dudie couldn’t comprehend the fact that Daddy can also discipline him. They are best friends like that… And now what…

Well, Dudie has realised that both Mom & Dad can discipline him and he’s cool with that. But it’s not always moonshine and roses…

When your child disciplines you

Yesterday I started cooking dinner and out of nowhere Dudie pulls up the chair (his small chair) and says “Mommy! Sit down. Blah blah Yada yada” Basically, he put me in time-out. OMG!!! Dude was having such a laugh but I was not impressed ‘cos I need to finish the food etc. I realised that I obviously upset this little man but I still have no idea what I did wrong.  After a few seconds Dudie came to stand in front of me and I said that I’m ready to apologise. SO, I apologized, and we hugged and I was granted permission to get up from the chair.

Not even 5mins later, Daddy Dude was banished to the chair. But Dude didn’t follow protocol and just got up after a while and walked off. Dudie scolded him and proceeded to tell him that he (Daddy dude) needs to sit on the chair. I explained that he needs to let Dudie know that he’s ready to apologise. He did and he too was granted permission to leave the chair.

This child of mine is as cute as a button. When time-out is over he happily puts the chair back in its rightful place.

Spirited Mama

 

And 2012 is the year that our child disciplines us…of course we realise that we are the adults and he is the child. At this stage we are engaging in role play to model desired behaviour in our child.

Update on the frog…

By

On May 9, 2012

In Dudie, Parenting

Frog started swimming lessons

So yesterday we started with swimming lessons for Dudie. Wow! Wow! Wow. Oh My Gloria! Dudie went from level 1 to level 2 in his first lesson!  <Can you see/feel how proud I am?>

The school is pretty strict on how they teach the kids.

  1. Parents are not allowed in the pool room ‘cos we distract our kids. <Bitter pill to swallow, but it’s true.  We are allowed to watch them through the viewing panes in reception.>
  2. They follow school terms and once during every term they have a parent’s week when we’re allowed in the pool room. Oh my, I can’t wait for that week.
  3. They also have an evaluation week, termly.

I planned this whole trip to the tee. I even packed his swimming bag the night before. <Yes, I have bags for everything. I even had a back up nappy bag, with set of clothes and all, in his room. Just in case we had to dash out in an emergency with no time to pack a nappy bag J. >

<Can you spot the OCD?>

Anyhoo, I get home 17:15, the trip to the swimming school is only a 10min drive and we only start the lesson at 6pm. So I’m chilled, except for the fact that the entire neighbourhood has no electricity. Traffic lights are out and the road is now a war zone! I’m so blessed to have a husband that gets involved with his son. <Bless your soul, Dude> So Dude gets Dudie a snack and I change Dudie into his swimming costume so that when we get to the school he’s ready. And I can just throw him into the pool. Hehehe. I didn’t mean that literally.

So we arrive at the gate, we drove a moerse ompad (detour for non Afrikaans readers) to get there to avoid all the traffic, with 1 minute to spare. Then we’re told that our instructor is writing exams so we have a replacement coach, a male. Dudie was a bit antsy but took to the coach within  a few minutes. At once stage they were out of my sight but then I saw them blowing bubbles and Dudie doing the monkey crawl unaided. Whoa!!!!

Now the next lesson is on Thursday, and we’ve decided to try the female coach too. We will then decide on a coach or maybe just use both. As both Dude & I feel that it would add diversity to his learning.

He woke up this morning asking when he’s going swimming?

Spirited Mama

P.S. We have a swimming pool but it’s not heated. And no, the solar heated pools are not warm enough for me during winter. It needs to be a proper heated pool. If anyone out there wants to heat our swimming pool, please feel free. I’ll throw in a braai and drinks on the house…

P.P.S When I was changing Dudie in the locker rooms, a young woman just got out the shower “full monty – full frontal” and came to sit on the bench to cream herself. Now, my child is 2 and the only naked woman he has ever seen is me. I could see the shock on my boy’s face. I felt uncomfortable for him, but I did not show him how I felt. I carried on as if nothing happened. Still not comfortable with that! Maybe it’s because of my upbringing. And yes, I still have issues concerning sexuality.

P.P.S. We drove around looking for a place to eat as I didn’t want to sit in the dark. Well, we eventually settled on getting Pizza. We got home, Dude made a fire in our fireplace, and we had Pizza and Champagne! Yes, Champagne. That’s how I roll. We had a romantic dinner with a Dudie who was so happy about his swimming lesson he couldn’t stop talking about it.

Today, I am deaf to the world ( I choose to be)

By

On April 10, 2012

In Easter, emotions, Parenting

 

I stole borrowed this picture from justbetweencousins and thought that this is exactly how I feel today. I have no ears. Today, I am deaf to the world, including Dudie and Dude!  

Today, I choose NOT to hear anything

So Easter has come and gone and boy was it a busy jam packed four days. In South Africa, we celebrate Good Friday (it’s a public holiday), Easter Sunday and Easter Monday (another public holiday).  Did I mention that Dude had to work all weekend, including Good Friday and Easter Monday….

<Dude has an awesome super important job and if it wasn’t for him and the other employees most of you would not see your relatives or go on holiday breaks etc. <Dude works mostly over all the important holidays, e.g. Easter/ Christmas/school holidays. I’ll tell you more about how we take family holidays during school terms on another day. For now, it works as Dudie is not bound to school terms yet. So we get to gallivant whilst everyone else is working.>

So I left work early (11:30am) on Thursday to collect the Dudie and we headed off to the shops for a few groceries and some chocolate bunnies. All goes well until we get to the shop and Dudie knods off as I enter the parking lot. <He obviously did not have nap time at school as they finished early.> I decide to put him in his pram and dash through the shop as I only need 1 or 2 items. Blah Blah Blah. I’m a shopaholic and I cannot do 5 minutes in a shop. I need at least 30 minutes! So whilst Dudie was having a shit fit about wanting to watch “Happy Feet” – I think the shops are out to get me, why would you put on a fucking movie for all the kids to go ape shit about – I was tempted to ask the security guard to just watch Dudie, in his pram, whilst I go through the isles – I got my items. I stacked items below, on top and behind this child and when we got to the check out counter you should have seen the amazement of the shop assistant – I had quite a few items to unpack – and they were all neatly stored in my son’s pram. So we headed home where I carefully transferred sleeping child to bed and low and behold he managed to sleep a full 15 minutes. OMG! I took it in my stride and remained calm. I let him climb the burglar bars in the lounge whilst I made sandwiches. We watched Happy feet – we’ve watched the 1st and 2nd one a gazillion times – and ate sweets and had milkshake and happy times.  We also ate peanut butter straight from the jar with our special spoons.

I love spending time with Dudie.

BUT, I think I may have over done it – spending time with him. Right now, Dudie and I are sensitive towards each other. I need a time out. I now realise why some moms people have so much alcohol in their house!

Friday:                  Lunch with Friends

Saturday:             Farmer’s market and shops. And when Dude came home, we went to play games at the mall. We even went out for Dinner, with a very trying toddler.

Sunday:                Service of Light at Church (5:30am – Dudie woke at 5am and then I decided that we’re up so we might as well get going to church early)

Breakfast at church

Lunch at the Botanical Gardens

Monday:              We slept late – Dudie & I. Albeit Dudie interrupted my sleep from midnight. We got up at 9am. That’s sleeping late to me>

Easter egg hunt and lunch with my cousin and her family.   <I love how they love Dudie. How they soak him up.>

I have told Dude that I need a break. This child of mine drains me physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. I love him but right now I need a break. I don’t want to talk. I want to sit here, browse the internet, blog, read blogs and eat my lunch. It’s cold in Gauteng, but still sunny. I’m looking forward to tonight , Dude will be making a fire and I hopefully get to curl up with a glass of wine and my book whilst Dude takes care of Dudie. A girl can dream…

What did you get up too?

Spirited Mama

P.S. Hats off to single parents. Oh, and we thank God daily for his school in our prayers. He even says “tank you for school”

And this is the day before Good Friday…

By

On April 5, 2012

In Chocolate, Easter, Family, Parenting

I normally get up around 5am, but most days I sleep until 5:40am. If I do that disaster strikes, as then it becomes like those trolley dash competitions in my house. I literally fly through everything and on the trip to work; I get to second guess myself wondering if I locked everything.

Today was ok until I decided to get out of bed. I slept in Dudie’s bed as he woke up crying at 1am and I was not prepared to take him to our room. His room is so much warmer. So Dude comes to greet us before he leaves, and under my breath I mumbled “Do not wake This child”.

2yrold is no fun. For the record, I did not co-sleep. It was not my style. Some days I want to kick Dude out of our bed too. You, the parent, do not sleep properly. You get kicked and slapped (not intentionally – my child is a restless sleeper) and basically you feel more tired than you did before you went to bed.>

I get up, as quietly as I possibly could, but Dudie was up before my feet even touched the ground! I like the quiet time before he wakes. I get to shower, make coffee, pack the car, do what I need to do, and then wake Dudie and get him ready. When he wakes with me or before I’m ready for him – I’m screwed. So this is how it went down this morning;

5:20am                 Mama & Dudie get up. Mama wants to shower so I bribe the child with a DVD and some milk. Luckily before I got in the shower he tells me that he needs the toilet. <He has cried for the toilet before – and it’s not a pretty sight when I have to jump out the shower half soaped/face wash in my eyes as I have not rinsed yet.> Lightbulb moment, put child on toilet and I have a 5min shower. I pulled the door a bit so that the steam could escape but I could still supervise Dudie. Problem was that when I rinsed and decided to get out the shower the kid had disappeared. I found half a roll of toilet paper on the floor. The toilet was not flushed. And I’m damn sure he didn’t wash his hands. So I set off to find him, remember I’m dripping water all over the house. I find this child of mine in the kitchen getting chocolate out of the cupboard so that he can go sit in his room and watch his movie. We I, flush toilet, wash his hands, give him vitamins and decided stuff it, I’m going to get ready for today and Dudie will do what he does best. He will be a 2yr old.

30 mins later, I’m good to go and get Dudie ready. As we left, I spent 10mins looking for one of the dogs – who was hiding behind some shrubs in the garden. I thought she got out when Dude left but thought that it wasn’t possible as they never go out the gate. So I found her snuggled and still sleeping in the garden – next to her fkn kennel!

I was late but only a few minutes. It’s all good and I’ve decided that I am in no mood to work so I’m now shopping online. I’ve decide to take half day. So I’m picking up Dudie at 12:00 and then we’re going chocolate shopping. We I want need more Easter eggs. My Dude will be home sometime today – I’m doing the nah nah nah nah ‘cos I’ll be home way before him, well that’s depends on how long we’re shopping. He’s always home before me.

We’ll be attending mass at 7pm tonight. What will you be doing?

We’re spending the long weekend at home. Be safe everyone.

P.S. I hate being on the road when it’s holidays…

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