Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Tag: happiness Page 2 of 8

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

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On January 25, 2018

In About me, Goals

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1  – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

This week’s lesson is as old as time but how many of us actually live by it? I was raised in the same house as my brother but we are in fact almost a decade apart, and definitely raised differently and in different times/worlds. Growing up we always had what we needed and/or wanted. We were blessed and fortunate. BUT where we lack is that emphasis was placed on possessions rather than people. Many would describe us as “being well off” but I didn’t see or think of it that way. As an adult, I see where these perceptions stem from. Now that I am a parent, my husband, aka Dude, and I have very different parenting styles to that of our parents. We are trying to place the emphasis on PEOPLE rather than possessions. And I sincerely hope that my boys, aka Dudie and Troll, will learn that valuable lesson.

People vs Possessions

People come and go in our lives. It’s is the circle of life. Possessions on the other hand is merely a bunch of materialistic goods that you have acquired in your life, whether you have worked for it,  earned it or perhaps inherited it. How do you place so much value on material things that exist in a temporary world? Your focus should be on the people in your life. Those people who share your life’s journey. Those very same people who encourage you to be the best version of you. Most of us have encountered a saying “some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. #truth Some people teach us for an entire lifetime, some teach us for a short while and others…well some we need to let go of… My wish is that we find the reason or purpose and enjoy the person who is part of YOUR life. This is easier said than done but at least enjoy the friendship no matter what the lifespan may be.

Choose the “right” people for you

Not all people in your life is on your side, or in your corner. You will encounter people that are out to get you, that don’t wish anything good for you, and some are just plain mean and jealous of you. Don’t let that cramp your style. Move on and move forward. Some people are only there for a short period but can have the most profound effect on your life. Appreciate the people. Appreciate the lesson you gain from dealing with people. You may not always know why certain people cross your path but in due time all will be revealed.

What do you treasure? People vs Possessions? Be honest with yourself…

Spirited Mama

Why I need routine…

By

On January 10, 2018

In About me

My free spirit needs routine?

I love to read. I always have. I can read anything that keeps my imagination and concentration in high gear. Being a mom has left me reading the ingredients on food labels or airfreshner cans or baby products because frankly I just don’t have the luxury of reading as much as I used to. Reading is part of MY routine. It calms my inner rebel. It allows me to escape to a wonderful world of truths and non-truths.

Being a student most of my time was spent reading prescribed books for modules…what a way to kill my creative spark! I’ve never liked the idea of conforming to societal norms. Think of me as a free spirit, also why I decided on the blog name Spirited Mama. Some might say I’m rebellious but this is ME. I can only do ME.

Even parents need ROUTINE

I love making lists. Do I get to everything on my to do list? Uhm, NO. I’m a parent, wife, employee, student, etc…oh and of course you know life happens in between.

I function best when I have routine. Even my kids thrive on their routines. There are days when my routine is out the window and then I get all anxious and just become overwhelmed until I decide to breathe, calm down and just do one thing at a time, albeit small and insignificant. Believe me it makes a huge difference to getting myself back on track.

I CAN perform very well under pressure But I prefer NOT to work under pressure ALL the time. Deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines.

As far as family life is concerned, we have a routine. ALL of us. We know what needs to happen and when. Even Troll gets out of sorts when the routine is not kept to. We are not a rigid family but I try and keep to routine as far as possible. With Dudie being 8 years old it is somewhat easier to “break” his routine from time to time, Troll not so much. But that being said as long as I have food and milk on hand the baby is as happy as a pig in mud.

A routine in draft mode

As we were nearing the end of 2017, things got a bit manic with deadlines and the last of the to do lists…you know the wind down period. So here is when I pat myself on the back for getting myself and my family ready for a new year and new adventures. The new year brings about a senior in Foundation Phase, Dudie is going to Grade 3! How even? It literally feels like I became a parent the other day but now I have a 8 year old who is very independent and opinionated. Troll will be a senior in his class at nursery school. Me – no longer a student! I’m taking a break from studying and will most likely enrol for postgraduate studies in 2019. What will I do with my “free” time? I’m going to sleep at a normal time like most people do. Why? Because as a mom/wife/employee/student etc I studied when everyone was in bed already – you know that life doesn’t stop just because you are studying…Life has to go on and you still need to fulfil your other commitments. Dude might be studying in 2018….

A major shift in my routine

On the work front, there is a major shift. I am moving to a different department! Cost saving and what not were all the reasons I was given by HR. At first I was extremely apprehensive about this shift. I mean I am NOT unhappy where I currently find myself so why would I want to leave? Let’s just say that the situation could have been handled in a different and better manner. I have prayed and thought about it, weighed up the pro’s and con’s but I can say that I am calm and at peace with what is to come. I’m choosing to look at this as an opportunity to grow. Finding my silver lining here, remember I’m doing 52 lessons for 52 weeks this year. If you haven’t seen it, click here With that said, I knew that we do not control what happens in life but we can choose how we react to what happens. No matter how much you plan…

It’s YOUR choice….

For now I need to get Dudie’s and Troll’s school things sorted. And we may sneak in a quick trip to Cape Town before the school year commences 🙂

How’s 2018 treating you thus far?

Spirited Mama

The hours in my day

By

On June 14, 2017

In Parenting, Reflections

Hello, in this little Spirited Family, if you have read some of my posts, nothing is uneventful. Sometimes, I wonder if what is actually happening is real or a dream. By golly, I sometimes sit and reflect on our life and literally end up laughing out loud at some of the shit that happens. This family can be funny….but we are a herd and we love each other. That’s all that matters…

The hours

I’ve been MIA because life has been CRAY CRAY… me getting back to work after maternity leave, Troll starting at his daycare, me getting into a routine with the school run for 2 kids. WHOA! Who knew adding 1 little person can rock the boat that much. For most of it, we have fun in the mornings, even when I’m freaking out that we are running late. Some mornings it’s a screaming match. Some mornings we look like the Brady bunch.

But here’s a rundown of the day before I started working again:

The day started off fairly well. Dudie didn’t have too many issues getting up or getting ready for school. Dude sends me a message “Enjoy your last day at home”. I have been taking Troll to his daycare every morning for a week to get used to his new environment too. I generally sit in the office and watch him on the monitors fro an hour of so. Then we leave for home. After the school run, I dash back to Dudie’s school to buy books on his wishlist from the Travelling Bookshop. (I never carry cash so I had to go swipe my card myself – imagine me giving Dudie all that cash – Uhm I think NOT!). Then my Aunt calls to say they are in the city for a few hours, can we have a quick visit? I say sure but I have a few errands and will call when I’m home. Then Troll decides to be miserable and make a monster poop. I quickly calculate and decide we are only 5 km’s from home, let’s go home.

How do the hours in a day go by so quickly?

At home, I change Troll and give him a solid feed. I make myself a warm steaming cup of coffee. One of our dogs seems to think she is a cat. So the cat decided to become Houdini, and jumped the wall or escaped somehow… Troll decides to make an explosive poop AGAIN! I change him, and voila as I pick him up he vomits all over both of us. So I change him and myself… My phone keeps ringing. It’s the neighbour to tell me the dog is casually lying outside in front of their gate…WTF? How did she get there? I rush outside to take her back in. Give her a stern scolding and let it be.

Troll decides to nap and I think, fuck it, let me enjoy this coffee. Then the estate agent calls, she has a potential tenant for us but urgently needs the key to the flat. So I say ok I will bring the key in a bit. By now, it’s 11am and I now need to race all the way to the other end of Pretoria and drop the keys and then race back for Dudie’s pickup. Then I remembered I needed stuff for Troll. I pack up the sleeping baby and stop at Clicks. OMG!!!! This Clicks is becoming notorious for the lack of “efficient” customer service in the checkout queue. I’m not even kidding. They are by far the slowest I have ever seen.  Whether it is busy or not, they will work at the same snail pace as they usually do. Eventually, I am out of there and hitting the road. Why is it that when you are in a hurry seems everyone else is on a “go slow”?

I make it to the estate agent in record time. I didn’t even switch the car off. I just gave her the keys outside the estate. LOKL. Back in the car – thankfully Troll is sleeping through ALL of this. I rush to meet my family. I managed to hug and greet properly and down a Chai Latté in a few minutes. Ticked that off my list, now to rush to pick up Dudie. On route, I decide to pop a chocolate eclair sweet in my mouth. Now, this is NOT a sweet that you can eat very fast. I get to school and damn this sweet is still in my mouth. As I approach the gate, the teacher wants to talk to me and I can’t open my mouth as the damn sweet is now stuck between my top and bottom back molars… As I try to speak I have drool dripping on the side of my mouth. Thankfully, I just raised the baby to my right cheek and avoided a very embarrassing situation. As I collect Dudie, he announces that he needs to go back for his water bottles. I’m thinking of chaining the damn thing to him, as lately he just seems very blasé about its whereabouts…Well until I ask about it.

What’s another hour in my day…

One more stop. We arrive at swimming school. Dudie has his lesson and I drift off whilst the other moms ooh and aah over Troll in the waiting area. Back in the car, I cover Troll with his warm blanket and tell Dudie to wrap himself with ALL his clothes. I put the aircon on full blast just so that I can stay awake whilst driving home.

I told Dude that if I am passed out by the time he gets home; it’s because I have had 25 days worth of crazy in one day.

Some days I have this all sorted and some days…well it’s all CRAY CRAY.

Spirited Mama

P.S. Dudie tells me, “Mom if you don’t want to smell like the baby’s vomit just wash with soap and water”. Me: Thanks my child, I’ll remember that…

 

To my first born. You ARE a good child!

By

On May 17, 2017

In emotions, happiness, Parenting

My first born… 7 years old already

Where is the time flying to???

You know that moment when you realise your baby isn’t a baby anymore….Dudie is 7 years old. 7!!! He used to call me mommy/mama now it’s just mom. Sometimes he even uses my first name, bless this child. He is so independent but yet still so dependent on mom. Where did the last 7 years go?

One minute I was looking at a 3.4kg chubby face whom I had just birthed and the next he is in Grade 2. Somedays I miss your incessant staring at me and in the same breath I look forward to watching you grow into a handsome young man. A man who will become the object of some woman’s affection yet you will always be the object of my heart and soul.

Your first cry made me cry

From the moment I heard your first cry, you literally came screaming into this world, I knew you were destined for great things. Your first cry made me cry. Of all the emotions I was experiencing, being hormonal and high on adrenaline as I just birthed my child drug free, I was ecstatic. Some things will be discovered later but for now, we support you in whatever you want to do. We want to give all the opportunities possible. We want you to explore, to live, to dream. To find your happiness. And wow, you have proven to be an all rounder…and we are SUPER proud of you. In any and everything you give it your best shot.

Your good shines through

Your friends look up to you. Some days I think you are the cool kid but you nonchalantly wave me off and just hang out with your friends. Adults comment on your excellent behaviour. I smile proudly and take the compliment whilst quietly thinking to myself “You aint seen this monkey when he loses his shit”. You are a good child and don’t you ever forget that. Some days you just fall by the wayside…just as many of us adults do. It’s life, it happens. You know how sometimes you tell me my face has an angry stare but I insist that I am fine. Well, that is mom falling by the wayside. Or when mom doesn’t seem her talkative self, yip that is mom falling by the wayside.

You are a good child

In essence, I want you to know that not everyone is good at everything all the time. So when you do fall by the wayside, cut yourself some slack and don’t be so hard on yourself. At the tender age of 7 years I see how hard you are on yourself. And I know you don’t want to disappoint us. Remember what we always say:

“Just try your best. You should be proud of yourself. Your best is good enough for us and should be for you too.” Spirited Mama

You are a good child. And I am blessed to call you my son. My love for you is fierce. And it burns like a roaring fire in my soul. I am sorry that it doesn’t always seem that way though.

I love you my child. Be fearless. Discover. Go on adventures. Go live YOUR best life.

Spirited Mama

x

P.S. Today was a typical day where the wheels fell off the bus. I got you up and going happy bedhead and all. Somewhere in between me calmly, I promise I was calm and there was no shouting, asking you to get done for the millionth time you lost your shit with me. You went off on a tangent and then I got the dreaded “you give Troll more attention than me”. OMG! Really? I will need to rethink this situation as I really don’t think it’s true but I will merit your concerns and address them. I do think we are going through a difficult patch as you are struggling to manage your emotions. And I do think Troll definitely  makes a huge impact on the situation right now. (Adulting and parenting is hard…🙈)

Last night was opening night for your Concert. As always, the moment you take the stage my tears roll. I am so proud of you, how confident you are, how much you pour your heart and sould into everything you do. When I offered you a sandwich, you politely declined because you didn’t want to ruin the makeup 😂😂😂

10 Years ago…

By

On February 3, 2017

In Marriage, Reflections

10 years ago

Today, 10 years ago….we became Mr & Mrs ❤ To be joined together as one.

The one phrase that stuck in my head since 10 years ago is “They are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder” Matthew 19.6 (Dude seems confused. As if this is the first time he hears this verse…was he not at our wedding😂)

We have grown so much…it amazes me. We have so much to be grateful for and we are most definitely abundantly blessed. We even gained 2 beautiful sons in our marriage.

Here’s to the next 10 years and the next, and the next, etc

Dude is sitting next to me as I write this post this is what he just said…”Our marriage is like our tortoise…slow and steady wins the race”.

Cheers to us. To a lifetime of us. Always and forever❤

Spirited Mama

x

P.S. The resident alien arrived on 24 January 2017. So in celebrating our 10 years of marriage, we also celebrate the resident alien being 10 days old today.

 

Dinner conversations

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On January 23, 2017

In Conversations, memories

We are fortunate in the Spirited household that I work half day. Dudie and I get home anywhere between 13:00 – 15:00, depending on the extra mural activities for the day. EXCEPT on Fridays. We do not compromise our FRIDAY! We have no extra murals and all shopping excursions is left for any day of the week EXCEPT Friday!

Granted Dudie and I are home early during the day and generally Dude is home by 16:00 everyday. We get to have to have a family dinner roughly 18:00 -18:30, you know those ones we see on TV and think fcuk how do they eat that early everyday…well half day JOB = early family dinner time

Dinner conversations in our house

Our dinner time conversations are roughly about catching up on each other’s day and reminding one another to look at our “schedules” on the board. I am OCD with schedules and lists…I don’t like MAJOR surprises or curveballs. I like to plan and know what’s happening. On most nights this is how it goes…

(This is how it plays off in Dude’s mind)

Me: blah blah blah…so the other kid at swimming blah

Dudie: (interrupts whilst I am still talking) Daddy can I tell you something? Blah blah Blah

Dude: Stares blankly and says WHOA one at a time.

My Dude basically has a hissy fit because we are talking simultaneously. Well let me just add that Dudie sometimes forget to wait until someone is done speaking before going off on a tangent with his own story. That boy will sometimes ask and answer the very question he has just posed to you.

I want to die everytime I have to repeat myself cos who listens to the mom/wife anyway? Dude is so guilty of this. he will literally look me in the eye and “listen” but 5 minutes later asked me  to repeat what I said cos he didn’t hear me….

Conversations filled with fun and laughter

Our dinner conversations are filled with fun and laughter but sometimes we prefer to have some quiet time too. But the other night the boys were cracking jokes. I moaned  the resident alien is super busy and kicking the daylights out of me. Dudie comes to check and gets a kick on the hand. I said every time the resident alien moves I poke him. Dudie pipes up: So poke him! I snort laughed and sprayed them and the spinach rolls with coffee….which was in my mouth. I did apologise because being pregnant I constantly need to pee and a laugh/sneeze can make me pee my pants #pregnancyjoys Unfortunately for them I sprayed the coffee, fortunately for me I managed to hold my pee.

Oh and NO, there is still NO baby. This boy is making keeping us in suspense. Last week Wednesday, Dr was convinced things are happening, I.e. My cervix is softening and I was 1-2cm dialated. yesterday I walked around at Monte Casino. BUT NOTHING!!!

I will see the Dr later today and we will figure out what is happening with this boy.

Spirited Mama

x

Currently in the Spirited household…

By

On January 20, 2017

In Currently, Pregnancy

Here’s an update of life in Spiritville currently:

  • I am currently #37weekspregnant and awaiting the arrival of our resident alien. I saw my doctor on Wednesday and it seems things are starting to happen, I.e. My cervix is softened and I am 1-2cm dilated…eek this boy might be here by the weekend.
  • Having healthy breakfasts, as seen in the picture above, muesli and fresh pressed beetroot, carrot, Apple and ginger juice. Dude loves making fresh juices for us. He randomly decided that he needs to boost my immunity. Love this man!
  • Dudie has settled in so well in Grade 2. He seems to be liking his new teacher very much.
  • We haven’t quite gotten to scheduling all Dudie’s activities as things have changed, new schedules and time slots etc. We will be reloading his schedule…
  • Dudie is swimming in the school gala next week. My kid! At 7years old!
  • I am on sick leave until my maternity leave kicks in now…so technically I will only go back to work in the second half of the year.
  • I am registering for my final year of my studies. So excited!
  • The wait for the resident alien is killing Dude and Dudie. Seems I’m the only patient one at this stage.
  • I’m finally catching up on series and pvr’d programmes.

Happy Friday folks!

Spirited Mama

x

#TBT Stop and play with the bubblewrap

By

On January 19, 2017

In #TBT, Reflections

Sometimes, I need to remind myself to slow down and smell the roses….especially now as the resident alien’s birth date approaches…. #37weekspregnant

As I woke this morning, I’ve been reflecting on a few things in my life. I thought it would be fitting to do a #TBT and this post popped into my mind… “Stop and play with the bubblewrap”

I hope you are making time for the small things in life. Those things that actually count. Those that remain in your heart and soul. Those that create those little memories…

Spirited Mama

7 Tips to make your hospital stay more comfortable and enjoyable

By

On January 11, 2017

In choices, Hospitals

When you are admitted to hospital for an extended stay, like I currently am – I am on Day 6 now, #36weekspregnant and all is good with my and baby’s health- you may want to make your stay as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. Well, otherwise you may very well stand with your face pressed against your glass door, albeit in your private room, with a deep longing to run outside and be free.

These are my 7 tips for making your hospital stay more comfortable and enjoyable:

1. Try to stick to your normal routine as if you were at home, e.g. My beauty routine – not that you can even call it that but let’s go with it for now. I packed my beloved Garnier Micellar cleansing water as well as my Garnier Hydramatch moisturiser. Yes, I use my moisturiser as a night cream too, well when I remember to use it at night.  My skin always feels dehydrated in hospital so luckily I still had some Vitamen E body butter from the Bodyshop(by far one of my favourites to use for the whole family). My labello is a life saver. Dudie also uses it daily as he swims 5 times a week and his lips take a beating with the harsh chemicals in the swimming pool.

2. Take a roll or two of BabySoft toilet paper from home. The last thing you want is to be wiping daily with that awful hard Kimberley Clark dispensing toilet paper. Your ass will thank you…

3. Bring your own pillow, if you must. I use a special memory pillow and I know as soon as I use a different pillow my spine/neck or is always fucked. I really don’t need further treatment for things that can be avoided in hospital.

4. Bring loads of books to read. I love reading and can practically read anything. I am currently on some sort of Vampire book, which has been lying at home forever. Just figured now would be a great time to read it.

5. Catch up on personal admin. I have loads of things that I’m busy doing in my head but you know sometimes life get so busy that we never get around to it. I am taking it easy but also setting out some time each day to catch up on my admin.

6. Work and rework your budget. New Year = New Commitments.   For me January is the start of my financial year, why the fuck SARS starts in March and Government in July is beyond me. Along with the new year comes a crap load of things that need to be bought/paid etc. For starters, we settle Dudie’s annual tuition in January. Fuck its like buying a small car every year but at least then we know we never see an invoice about tuition again. Don’t get me wrong, we get numerous invoices throughout the year. Why? Because he is at an independent/private school and YOU as  the parents have to PAY for everything. So just pat yourself on the back for settling the tuition fees in January, grow some balls and pay whatever invoices comes your way. We also have all the extra mural activities, golf, cricket, violin and private swimming lessons. Let’s not even go into our general monthly household running expenses. Ooh, did I mention we are paying the unborn baby’s school fees into a savings account already? Well, cos we are proactive like that you know.

7. Discuss your food/dietary requirements with the hospital staff. I have been here before. I know the menu, it hasn’t changed since November when I was here. I have selected various options from all the different menu types available. Albeit the food is really good, I have designed my own menu. I eat the normal food, vegetatian food, the gluten and wheat free food, banting options and even some stuff from the gastro menu😂 I am currently eating from the long stay menu, who even knew that such a menu existed, but man I’ve have crumbed pork chops, schnitzels and schwarmas….I am not a big red meat fan so most of the vegetarian options have worked out fantastic. No I’m not vegetarian although Dudie and I prefer seafood than red meat.

Only you can make your stay as enjoyable as you want, given you have the right attitude and mindset. There is no point in fighting  the situation, if this is where you need to be. So my advice to you….Take care of YOU and YOUR needs.

Some other observations from my hospital bed:

  • Some people just shouldn’t be nurses. I mean if they don’t have a passion for nursing rather find another career please. Some people are born with the innate passion of caring for others. I am very lucky that I have an excellent day and night team at my hospital taking care of me and my unborn baby right now.
  • Get as much R&R as possible. I know its easier said than done, and I’m the last person to be lying in a bed but it is necessary.
  • If reading is not your thing then bring an Ipad or Notebook and catch up on some series.
  • Bring snacks…I nibble throughout the day so I packed On the go snack packs, Pringles, chocolate and some energade.
  • I got Dude to bring my hairdryer and GHD and voila I did my hair in hospital. I look better and feel better.
  • I made peace with my situation and only now starting to sleep, albeit interuppted stints,at least I’m getting some sleep.
  • I’m using this time to research some investment opportunites…

Ciao for now.

Spirited Mama

x

Goodbye 2016

By

On December 31, 2016

In Goals, New Years Eve

image

Goodbye 2016

I loved you and hated you simultaneously. You pushed me to do things I wasn’t sure that I was capable of. BUT I did it. And I came out stronger, more centered, focused. And somewhat wiser.

2017 will see me taking some people with a pinch of salt, in small doses and limited quantities. I refuse to let others’ negativity consume me. I WILL be living MY life’s. Possibly my best life. Time to live intentionally but for ME. Cheers to 2016 but here is to welcoming 2017 with open arms.

2017

I will be completing my studies. God knows how fearful I was when I started as a fresh first year student in 2015.
Dudie will be starting Grade 2. This kid amazes us everyday. He is intelligent beyond his years, resilient and tougher than I give him credit for.

Dude wants to start studying again. We may even start brewing some life changing plans for our little family.

We will be welcoming our resident alien to our Spirited family. Less than 6 weeks to go now. #34weekspregnant

So cheers for now. Be safe wherever you may find yourselves tonight as we welcome 2017. We will be welcoming 2017 from the comfort of our home.

Enjoy the last day of 2016. Here’s to HEALTH, SUCCESS & HOPE! 

See you in 2017.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I don’t do New Years Resolutions as I think people are too pressured into making resolutions that may quite possibly not even be their own goals. I never conformed to the norms….so I like to do my own thing.

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