I didn’t celebrate MY mother!

On May 15, 2012

I didn’t celebrate MY mother!

I did celebrate Mother’s Day though, as I am a mother too. My Dude and Dudie spoilt me. It was relaxed and chilled. We had such a nice day, just the 3 of us…

Back to my mother. When I say that I have issues with my mother, it’s an understatement. Currently, we don’t even have normal conversations. Let me give you an example:

Me: Hello

Her: Hi, how are you?

Me: Good <Sometimes I ask how she’s doing>

Her: How’s Dudie?

Me: He’s fine

Her: Can I talk to him, please?

Me: This response varies according to Dudie’s schedule…

Ok, hold
He doesn’t want to talk right now
HE ran off
He’s busy with his Dad

And that’s more or less it. But coming back to why I did not even call her… A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town. Now, I haven’t been to their (my parents) house in a long time… <That’s another story! Ai, so many stories…> and this trip was no different.

And here’s why I didn’t celebrate MY mother

I called and told her that we’ll be in Cape Town, gave her our itinerary and pointed out when and where it would be suitable to see the Dudie. On the Sunday, when they were suppose to come see him, she called to say that it’s too far to drive???? WTF? If you want to see him, you’ll come to him.

On Monday, we couldn’t get a flight home so we decided to drive 100km’s to visit strategic family members. We were within 5km’s of her, and then she calls my brother (we were oohing and aahing over his daughter at the time) that they going to overnight somewhere. This venue is probably 200kms from them, but it’s too far to drive to see your grandson!

And that, Ladies & Gentlemen, was the straw that broke the camel’s back!

Up until now, she doesn’t know that we were with my brother. And this is how my life with MY Mother goes… I’ve set my boundaries and I’ve stuck to them. And I can honestly say that the rest of my family has noticed a change in my behaviour, for the better. I am happier and not half as moody. I’m more relaxed and I’m enjoying the small things in life… <Thanks Kelle Hampton for an awesome blog>

I’m taking it one day at a time. It’s difficult to tell myself that somethings are just not worth worrying/stressing about. There’s nothing I can do to change them. Accept it. And move on.

I am so blessed. And I choose to look at the positives. Thank you to everyone who’s in my life right now.

To all of the Moms out there- Hope you had a Fab Mother’s Day!

Spirited Mama

P.S. I’m blessed to have many mothers in my life, albeit they’re non-maternal.

P.P.S I had this recurring thought on Sunday – “Just because you birthed me doesn’t mean that you’re job is done. Being a mother is forever…” – Spirited Mama

I think the thing that hurt me the most is the fact that she chooses her husband (yes, he is my biological father but that’s as far as the connection goes) or work over her kids (my brother & I). My brother is in his final year of studies and can’t wait to move out on his own.

I am always in awe of mom/daughter relationships as I do not know what that’s like BUT I have other moms/friends/family that fill that void in my life….

Today is Friday for me

On April 26, 2012

In emotions, Family, Holidays, Time out

Yes, I know it’s only Thursday but in fact for all South African today is Friday. For the non – South Africans let me explain:

Friday 27 April 2012 – Freedom Day (Public Holiday)

Weekend

Monday 30 April 2012 – Normal working day (But I have taken leave and I guess more than 50% of the country has too)

Tuesday 1 May 2012 – Workers Day (Public Holiday)

So I will officially be back in the office on Wednesday 2 May 2012. So here’s to being South African. Cheers to the Long Long Weekend….

Ciao

SpiritedMama

P.S. I’m as excited as a 2yr old (I’m comparing my levels to Dudies). Tomorrow we’re going to Cape Town via train….. ****HappY Dance****

Today, I am deaf to the world ( I choose to be)

On April 10, 2012

In Easter, emotions, Parenting

I ~~stole~~ borrowed this picture from justbetweencousins and thought that this is exactly how I feel today. I have no ears. Today, I am deaf to the world, including Dudie and Dude!

Today, I choose NOT to hear anything

So Easter has come and gone and boy was it a busy jam packed four days. In South Africa, we celebrate Good Friday (it’s a public holiday), Easter Sunday and Easter Monday (another public holiday). Did I mention that Dude had to work all weekend, including Good Friday and Easter Monday….

So I left work early (11:30am) on Thursday to collect the Dudie and we headed off to the shops for a few groceries and some chocolate bunnies. All goes well until we get to the shop and Dudie knods off as I enter the parking lot. <He obviously did not have nap time at school as they finished early.> I decide to put him in his pram and dash through the shop as I only need 1 or 2 items. Blah Blah Blah. I’m a shopaholic and I cannot do 5 minutes in a shop. I need at least 30 minutes! So whilst Dudie was having a shit fit about wanting to watch “Happy Feet” – I think the shops are out to get me, why would you put on a fucking movie for all the kids to go ape shit about – I was tempted to ask the security guard to just watch Dudie, in his pram, whilst I go through the isles – I got my items. I stacked items below, on top and behind this child and when we got to the check out counter you should have seen the amazement of the shop assistant – I had quite a few items to unpack – and they were all neatly stored in my son’s pram. So we headed home where I carefully transferred sleeping child to bed and low and behold he managed to sleep a full 15 minutes. OMG! I took it in my stride and remained calm. I let him climb the burglar bars in the lounge whilst I made sandwiches. We watched Happy feet – we’ve watched the 1^st and 2^nd one a gazillion times – and ate sweets and had milkshake and happy times. We also ate peanut butter straight from the jar with our special spoons.

I love spending time with Dudie.

BUT, I think I may have over done it – spending time with him. Right now, Dudie and I are sensitive towards each other. I need a time out. I now realise why some ~~moms~~ people have so much alcohol in their house!

Friday: Lunch with Friends

Saturday: Farmer’s market and shops. And when Dude came home, we went to play games at the mall. We even went out for Dinner, with a very trying toddler.

Sunday: Service of Light at Church (5:30am – Dudie woke at 5am and then I decided that we’re up so we might as well get going to church early)

Breakfast at church

Lunch at the Botanical Gardens

Monday: We slept late – Dudie & I. Albeit Dudie interrupted my sleep from midnight. We got up at 9am. That’s sleeping late to me>

Easter egg hunt and lunch with my cousin and her family. <I love how they love Dudie. How they soak him up.>

I have told Dude that I need a break. This child of mine drains me physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. I love him but right now I need a break. I don’t want to talk. I want to sit here, browse the internet, blog, read blogs and eat my lunch. It’s cold in Gauteng, but still sunny. I’m looking forward to tonight , Dude will be making a fire and I hopefully get to curl up with a glass of wine and my book whilst Dude takes care of Dudie. A girl can dream…

What did you get up too?

Spirited Mama

P.S. Hats off to single parents. Oh, and we thank God daily for his school in our prayers. He even says “tank you for school”

Cheers! It’s the Weekennnddddddddd BaaaaaaaaabbbbbbY

On March 2, 2012

In emotions, Random, Uncategorized

So this was my daily inspiration today

On February 24, 2012

In emotions, Random

I remember that it’s Confucius who’s dishing out advice again.

“2 Pieces of advice for Married Men

Never laugh at your wife’s choices;

You are one of them

Never be proud of your choices;

Your wife is one of them“

this is exactly why need to find me

This is good. This resonates with me. This is exactly why I need to find me.

I read this over at Dear Max: http://www.dearmax.org/2012/02/why-you-should-focus-more-on-your-life-than-others/

I am that person who likes to please others. I “need” to please others. It’s in my genetic make-up and I’m ~~trying~~ struggling to change it. And it’s getting the better of me…

Why do we want to be popular?

In emotions, Random

I used to fit into this catergory to. Until I decided that I really need to please “ME”. Trouble is knowing what me wants…

I had 2 days away from the cyber world and I come back to all the debates about the “Mommy Clubs” and what not… I too wanted to be famous when I grew up but hey it never panned out that way. Maybe I’ll get a break some other day but for now if you’re interested in this debate go check out:

http://lionheartinourbathtub.blogspot.com/2012/02/fear-of-missing-out.html because it resonates with me.

I need me back (part 2)

I don’t know how long this search will be but I’m thinking probably a long long time. I don’t like the me that has been for the past 28yrs. Of course there are good memories that I wouldn’t trade for anything but wow, I need to find “me”. I don’t think that I’ve ever really been true to me.

P.S. I copied this image from a blog. I can’t remember whose. Sorry. If it’s yours please free to take the credit.

I need me back…