For a while I’ve been toying with the idea of doing a “Bucket List”. I’m a professional procrastinator… So after A LOT of consideration, and reading the last post from Kelle Hampton’s Blog “Enjoying the Small Things” I decided to break it down into smaller chunks. Rather than having a long list and weekly list seems more doable.
I’ve made a conscious decision to try and see the positive in each situation. <IF you read my first post, it seems all doom and gloom. And let’s not forget the issues that I have with my Mom. That’ll probably never change. But I’ve made peace with it. And I choose to see the positive! I choose HAPPY! I choose LIFE!>
I have a son and for what it’s worth I will try my very best not to let him experience the hurt/sadness/disappointment/trauma that I faced growing up. I consciously choose to do thing s for him and with him. I want to create happy memories for him. <Now, I’m not saying that growing up was all bad but I remember mostly negative things – Maybe this is all my brain processed???And I’ve blocked out the rest?>
I try to soak up my son every chance I get. I want to remember him. I want him to remember me. And our moments together. <I feel that I need to find a way to incorporate Dude as we have kinda left him out of many of our bonding sessions. But Dude has his own sessions with Dudie.>
Life is too short to be stressing about things that are beyond my control. <On Mother’s day my dude told me How he noticed the difference in me. A positive shift in my being… That was the nicest thing that he could have told me as I felt happier, was more relaxed but couldn’t pin it for some reason. And then it struck me… I a while ago I told myself that I need to enjoy the “Here and Now” and just enjoy the small things. Those are the things that matter!>
This morning at 12:05 am Dudie came to sleep in our bed. We were uncomfortable and cold, as Dudie doesn’t like to be covered but we didn’t care. We bonded as a family. So with stiff bodies we rose to this beautiful day. Amongst our morning chaos and Dudie trying to snuggle with Dude so that I can’t take him to school, we still managed to leave the house 15minutes earlier than usual! I still have no idea how we did that! So as I pull out the driveway with an unhappy 2yr old telling me that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore and that Mommy must take care of him… My heart broke. Am I doing my child an injustice by working full time? I am an independent woman. I
need want need to work. Maybe I just need to find a JOB that only requires my attention for a few hours… But how? I had all these thoughts racing through my head… And then I decided, I’ve changed our world by enjoying the small things and by creating time for us. Let me not stop now… So I did it.
We went to McDonalds drive thru and ordered a Sausage McMuffin to share… Dudie had his Milo and I had my coffee and off we went to school. The look on my child’s face when we got out food from the drive thru was unbelievable. You’d swear someone handed me a bag of diamonds or cash!!! We arrived at school. I parked in the bay, looked at my watch and decided fck this, I’ll leave when Dudie is done eating. I’ll get to work when I get there. We sat in his classroom, on little red chairs at the green table. Drinking our coffee and sharing a McMuffin. All whilst Dudie pointed out the pictures and objects on the wall. That right there was where my heart burst with love and joy. That was Priceless!!!!!
P.S. I was going to do a Bucket List post but I got carried away here. So I’ll do the list in the next post…