Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Category: Family Page 4 of 5

Random thoughts. Heart, Mind & Soul

By

On September 28, 2012

In About me, Family

I was never one to have very very close relationships with anyone now that I think about it. I had a select few that I really connected with but alas I admit that “life happened” and we have some how lost touch… It’s sad really. Everyone needs a person. And as life progressed I moved through it so fast that I forgot to stop and connect with my person. My person moved away to another country almost 2 years ago…. I miss her terribly…. And I hope that sometime soon I’ll be able to pay her a surprise visit…

I’ve done some digging in my heart, mind & soul and I’ve realised that the disconnect from family life might also be why I disconnect from friends… I’m the person that would walk up to you and just talk you because I felt like, thought you were interesting, or just whatever. I’ve been classified as a “people’s person” but I think it’s more me wanting to please everyone that makes me seem like a people’s person. Dudie has this same personality of just talking to random strangers 🙂 As much as I enjoy him being a sociable child, I’m unsure how to clarify “stranger danger“. You lead by example and if Mom is talking to strangers why can’t he. Oi, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

The crux of the matter is “how can I teach my child to value his friendships or family relationships” when I am not valuing/nurturing mine? I would love to say that it is not intentional but I’m confused and to a degree I think that I am intentionally NOT nurturing relationships. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s that I think I don’t have the time. And that it’ll all work itself out. Much like I think/hope/pray that my marriage works with minimal effort from my side. Bad attitude – I know. Work in progress.  This might be the actual reason why I smother Dudie 🙂

Enough of my thoughts. I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair, still on of my all time favourites… Click here if you haven’t heard it before or even if you need a feel good song for Friday

P.S. Did I mention that Dudie is learning sign language? It’s an added extra from the school, thanks. My child conversed with me in sign language at 6am this morning…. Needless to say that I need to brush up on my signing… Oh, and he also seems to know some Sotho/Portuguese and French… Class mates, we guess…

If only…..

By

On September 28, 2012

In About me, Family, Parenting

Have you watched the movie If Only ?I have, several times and I ball my eyes out EVERYTIME! What gets to me is that death is inevitable… At some point, we’re all going to leave this earth. I’m relatively ok with that but the problem/fear that I battle with is the “how” you going to exit this world. Now I realise that this is beyond our control and there is no use in fussing over it but I still have this gnawing feeling about it. My grandfather and I had many many discussions about it. He passed away very peacefully in his sleep in 1997… And I still miss him dearly. I can still hear his voice and I can still see his smile….

This morning, I had a brief yet pulling-my-heart-strings conversation with one of my Aunts., on my Mom’s side of the family. My Mom is one of six children, 5 girls and the youngest a son. She is the second born. Now, both my mom and the eldest daughter, I don’t really have much of a bond with but the other three daughters (my Aunts) – well let’s just say that when you see us together you will know that we are family. Aunt T is so excited ‘cos her eldest and only daughter is getting married in April 2013. They are going dress shopping. And basically, she can’t wait for her own grankids. She treats Dudie like he’s her grandchild. Love her for that. Well, now that I think about it, all three Aunts treat Dudie like he’s their grandchild. Love you all.

I mentioned to her how I’ve always envied the relationship she had with her daughter. And then she reiterated that I have and always will hold a special place in her heart. (Total snotty cry moment on the train and I forgot my sunglasses in the car) Fact of the matter is that she makes no secret of it that “HER KIDS, all 3 of them, are her LIFE” and I relate ‘cos that’s just how I feel about Dudie. What gets to me though is that that i snot the message that I got from my Mom. We have a touch and go relationship. The entire family knows the situation. I’m not angry or upset…. I’m disappointed. How do you not want to ensure that your child knows that he/she is loved, protected, cared for, etc.

I miss my family. We don’t see each other often. We live in Pretoria. They live in Cape Town. Solution would be to move to Cape Town but that brings on a whole other can of worms…. As Dude stated earlier this week, we’re just settling in to GP now, after we’ve been here for 10 and 9 yrs respectively…

This brings me to my dilemma that I’ve been facing for almost 4 yrs years now(I’m including my pregnancy) – How to balance everything. Being a successful career woman and having a happy fulfilling family life.

NB! This is MY opinion.

Something’s gotta give. You can not do both. At some stage one or the other will take a back seat. Even if it’s temporary. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all make our choices. And we really don’t need to justify them to anyone. It is YOUR choice afterall.

Since I knew I was to become a mother, I did some serious soul searching. Dude was of the notion that I stay at home with baby until he goes to school(roughly 7yrs). Now, as much as I enjoy my home time with Dudie, I am NOT stay at home mom material (SAHM). I will lose my shit! I enjoy working and interacting with my colleagues. I need to feel like I’m making a difference and that I’m worth something. Hats off to all SAHM but it’s just not me. But, I don’t think that I need to spend 8 hours a day away from my Dudie either. I was of the notion that Dudie will need me more when he starts “big” school. So I’ll have to work my way to a more flexi/part time JOB later.

Well, this thought has been hovering again. As Dudie approaches 3yrs, I’m more inclined to look at alternate options of employment. I have no idea where to start looking? Or what I’m looking for? But I do know that currently, I’m too attached too my salary…. The thought of giving up my financial independence scares the hibbygeebees out of me! So if anyone has any ideas on how I can free up some time, please feel free to share…

So, I’m playing the lotto this weekend. I just might have a blog post next week that’ll blow you away.

Happy Friday

Spirited Mama

Amazing Race Cape Town

By

On September 6, 2012

In Family, Holidays

And so our time had runneth out in Cape Town…. We needed to return our rental car by 13:00 and our flights were at 15:50. All in all, that meant that we could check in early and have lunch with my brother, his fiancée and their daughter.

So we said our goodbyes to the family and took to the road. We realised that we were slightly behind schedule, as we still needed to detour to Kuilsriver to say goodbye to some family and collect the fish that Dude had bought for us to bring home!

We got to Kuilsriver at 12:30 ish. Our rental car was a 1.4 and I’m pretty sure that that car has never ever been driven that fast! LMAO. Ok, we were slightly over the speed limit at times. But we had else we would be late for everything!

We got the fish, said goodbye and off we went. Dudie threw a bit of a tantrum as he did not get to say goodbye the way that he wanted too. So I took a picture of him doing it the way he wanted to and sent it to the family. Child happy = PARENTS  who can now concentrate on getting to the airport. We realised that we needed to top up with fuel ‘cos the rental company will bill you if you don’t bring back a full tank. The only garage in sight was backed up with cars, fck knows why, ‘cos the fuel increase was only due later in the week. <thanks, Murphy!=””> We decided that we’ll check for a garage at the airport.

Of course we took the wrong offramp and drove through the industria and then realised that the garage is only accessible upon exiting the airport. We drove around the traffic circle as if exiting and backed up into the garage. Yes, we checked that all was clear and then reversed to the Garage. We filled up and then headed to return the car. Only that we went to the wrong office, as we went to collections not returns. We got to the returns office at 13:15. Phew. They did a check and let’s just say that we did not mention that we kinda hit the curb when we backed up into the garage. All was well, we loaded our bags and ran to teh terminal building. We siad goodbye to our friends, and returned their car seat in one piece. Thank you my child for behaving yourself.

We then got checked in. In the mad rush, my Dude checked both bags in, one was not locked and our house keys and car keys were in there. Never mind my hairdryer, our takkies, nice jackets, etc. My heart sank as I thought, Fck, they’ll have plenty of time to go through that bag as the flight only departs in a few hours!!!!

I decided that we’ll deal with whatever happens when we are back home. We found my brother and his sweet family. We had a lovely lunch and spent some quality time with them.

They walked with us to the security check and waved us goodbye… We hope to see them soon. As we boarded the plane I realised that Dudie was turning into the overstimulated overtired monster, as he had not slept a wink for the day. As we took off, he was bouncing around in his seat and within 2minutes flat he was snoring. He slept through the entire flight and within minutes of us landing he woke up and said, I don’t wanna bath!

The kind air hostess left him a cheese roll and bottle of water for when he woke. Boy was this child hungry when he woke up. He devoured his roll. We got our bags in the terminal building and with all the anxiety I had to remind my Dude that we can move to the side and then he can open the bag. I really did not want random people looking at my underwear that could very well have shifted during landing! With baited breath he opened the bag and all our belongings, including keys, were there.

Dear Airline staff, I apologise for the lack of trust I have in you. You have a new found respect with me. Thank you

We caught the bus to the long term parking and jump in our car an headed home. We unpacked and even did the washing and bathed the Dudie and sorted everything for Monday in a flash.

So that was our Amazing race in Cape Town.

Hopefully we’ll see you soon…

P.S. We left the seaweed in the trolley when we checked our bags in. Wonder what they thought when they found it….

P.P.S. We are off to George next weekend……Yay!

P.P.P.S This was the first Cape Town trip we did without staying with family. And I loved it. I know that alot of family is very pissed off about that but hey, get over it. This trip was about US not You!

 

Good food and wine

By

On September 5, 2012

In Family, Holidays

So after my Cape Town work was all done, this only ended at 17:30!, Dude & Dudie fetched me from the Hotel and we headed out for our weekend of pleasure before returning to Gauteng….

<We had a family breakfast and Dude’s Aunt joined us. I missed my first session but attended my 09:30. At 10:30, we checked out and my family andf I went to the Two Oceans Aquarium. What an awesome place. We had a lovely lunch at their resatuarant! We’ll be back soon. I did return to my meetings after lunch.>

We visited Dude’s dad, whom we haven’t seen in about 7/8 years…. Yes, not ideal but such is life. The way they soaked us up and welcomed us, you would never think that there was such a void in that relationship. It was amazing! Dudie got to meet his other grand dad and step granma and his two aunts! They loved my son! And I love them for it!

We made our way to Langebaan quite late on Friday night but we got there safely. To a warm fireplace and some Port…. Our friends, whom we were staying with, have a daughter about six months younger than Dudie. Of course as we got out the car, the Dudie woke up and so did their daughter. We ate and caught up on each others lives and the kids only went to bed after midnight.

Saturday morning, we all had a bit of a lie in. We had a light breakfast and then set out on an adventure. We bought fresh fish to braai for dinner.

We took to the road with no real destination in mind other than the kids wanting ice-cream. We stumbled upon Jacobsbaai, a quaint little area surrounded by the ocean. Engulfed in a bay/cove which is calm yet just over a small hill the waves are crashing hard against the rocks…. We had lunch at the little restaurant which was warmed by a lit fireplace and the local folks. Charming and very homely. The yummiest seafood….

We strolled on the beach and gathered some treasures(read: sea shells and seaweed). We made our way to Paternoster and also to Tietiesbaai(that’s it’s realname). Quiet unspoilt beaches. Beauty in its purest form.

We headed back to Langebaan, where Dude made us the most incredible Seafood chowder and then followed up with some braaied Angel fish…. I ae way to much and possible consumed too much alcohol too. But it was all so much fun! Good food and wine. New memories created.

Sunday, we visited my Aunt, whom I haven’t seen in 2 years. Emotions were running high. Good emotions! Happy tears as family were reunited. They too just loved my family.

So here’s to many more happy tears and creating lots of new memories! We promise we’ll be around more often

P.S. We had dinner with another Aunt of mine on Thursday. I love you guys. And we cant’t wait to see you in October! Did I mention that my niece might become a famous model!!!!! I’m so excited for her!

We live here!

By

On August 15, 2012

In emotions, Family, LOVE

I have been sitting with some random thought son how to improve our situation at home. Make it “Happier”….

Well After reading a post from the Colouredfulwife, I was reminded that we create our own happiness.

This was my comment to her post:

I too ration myself. I blog and believe me what I blog about is only a fraction of the mishaps in Spiritville. We would all like to have happy perfect homes but what we forget is that we can create it for ourselves. I saw a quote somewhere, “My house was clean, sorry you missed it. We live here” ANd I love it as having a spotless house does not make it a home. Having a students doesn’t mean your kids are happy. Ask me, I used to hide in my books! Enjoy YOUR life…

I consider us to be Christians. Not your average religious christians and I’m sure some people would gasp for air when they realise we actually DO belong to  a church, which we attend sporadically. Dude is superstitious.  Me not much. He has this thing about feathers. If you find a feather then it means God is present. Well a while ago I found a feather in Dudie’s room and I decided to keep it as I’m so happy that God is present in Dudie’s life. Well yesterday I came across said feather and decided to reposition it so as to not throw it away just yet.

This morning after my normal routine and prayer I thanked God for another day of new chances and tought, even if I never get a feather it’s ok as long as Dude and Dudie are getting them. After I strapped Dudie in I found a small feather on the driver seat. I was super chuffed and thought Thank you God for being in my life too. I repositioned it in the car and went on the usual drive to drop Dudie and then catch my ride. Well, I could not stop thinking about this feather. I concluded that we are going through a rough patch in our lives at the moment. After changing schools, I’m now a frequent traveller with the Gautrain, and well let’s just say our home organisation is a bit all over the place right now. We need to figure out  a schedule that works for us.

Well, on my journey to work, I met someone incredible and I think that all of the mornings happenings is a sign of greater things to come. I reminded myself that we do not know what God has planned for us. We are merely playing out our roles. We need to stress less and let God work his magic. Because ultimately, what’s happening now is not ideal according to us but maybe it is according to God.

 

Spirited Mama

xoxoxo

A walk in the Zoo

By

On July 27, 2012

In Family, Food & drinks

I’ve been meaning to take Dudie to the Pretoria Zoo for a while now but the weather has been rather iffy. It’s chilly in the morning but gloriously wonderful in the afternoon. We used to do the Funwalk in the Zoo monthly, even whilst I was pregnant. Then I gave birth, and in between surviving a new born and trying to be civil in my marriage(think that sleep deprivation does not suit either myself or Dude), and  Winter approaching I decided to hold off on the funwalks.

Well, we did pick it up again but then somehow it fell through the cracks again. Generally we have a “wing it attitude” over most weekends. But our special moment, every Saturday(or only if Mommy can really fall out of bed) is visiting the Pretoria Boeremark.

They start at 5am, and no there is no way in hell that I will be there at 5am. Albeit, I have been there at 6am on occasion. Lately, we get there anytime from 8am. They generally pack up after 10am. It’s fun. It’s great. And it’s refreshing.

Our ritual could be either:

1. Mommy buys the weeks fresh produce. Dudie gets to pull/push the rented trolley thing. Or he just happily sits in it and I have to pull/push him, shove a dozen things into my shopper bag and walk through a really crowded space. We buy 4-5 pancakes and a can of coke, then we proceed to the pond area to feed the ducks/geese/turkey/chicken/doves all the left over bread of the week.

2. We buy 4-5 pancakes and a can of coke, then we proceed to the pond area to feed the ducks/geese/turkey/chicken/doves all the left over bread of the week.

This is my Happy Space! And I indulge in it a bit longer every Saturday. Because the weather is good and the Dudie loves just being there. Even the Dude loves being there, on the weekends that he is home.

Oh, did I mention that I live 10 steps away from this market 🙂

Back to the Zoo, with warmer days approaching, I think it’s time for a trip to the Zoo again. Last time we went on the skytrain. I think I had more fun than Dudie….

P.S. Last week Sunday we visited the Mclaren Circus and Dude mentioned that it’s as if we came to the circus for me. I was that excited 🙂

 

Happy Friday Folks! Have an awesome weekend.

Happiness is

By

On June 6, 2012

In emotions, Family, LOVE, Parenting

Do you believe in fate/destiny? Are you more the “factual” type. Or you don’t believe anything if you can’t see/touch it?

Do you know how hard it is to see the silver lining/positive in any and every situation ALL the time? <This is my greatest challenge as I naturally worry about EVERYTHING! But I’m trying and it’s been a few weeks now. I can honestly say that I feel better. We live better. We seem happier in general….>

My child has brought out some childlike qualities in me, again. And I’m loving it! He reminds me to just live… Just be happy.

Enjoy the moment! Create the memories….

My hope is that when I cease to exist, my child will remember our moments together….

And with that I leave you with this quote I found on P.Int.erest.

P.S. I have no idea who to credit for this, and I’m not in the mood to do a detailed search… So if this was yours – Cheers to you!

 

Diseased and all – Mama’s getting served!!!!

By

On May 25, 2012

In Family, Random

So all is well in the land of the Spirited! It’s sunny and pretty with blossoms, albeit we’re experiencing Autumn currently. Today is Friday! TGIF!

My Dudie is on the mend. I’m just happy that the fever is gone. I’m so over suppositories.

<Note to self – stock up on suppositories – and other meds for Winter>

If you haven’t noticed I’m OCD then here’s a reminder. I stock up on Meds for my family. Anything that works/appears to work on any disease/illness/rash/etc, I get more and keep in my Meds cupboard. I have a shelf for the Dudie and Dude & I and the dogs share a shelf.

 Do you know how expensive a visit to the Vet is these days??? And we have 5 3 dogs, lots of fish, 2 cockatiels, wild birds  -who steal our dog food, and I’m hoping and praying that we get our rabbit soon…. I’ve been telling Dude that it is vital to Dudie’s upbringing that he has a rabbit… I didn’t have one when I was a kid and just look how I turned out.

So with Dudie on the mend, my eyes looking normal again but I’m still rocking my Gucci’s(remember the knockoff version – If they accepted monopoly money I would’ve bought the real thing. But we have to live in my world you know. So after swimming/school fees/monkeynastics/kindermusiek and all those adult responsibilities bills are paid, I can choose some kick ass sunglasses.

<remember how your mom used to tell you that you’re so label befok now – just wait until you have to buy your own stuff. With your hard earned cash… YOu’ll think twice about that label! I don’t really care for labels anymore. occasionally, it’s nice to spoil treat myself but occasssionaly.>

Back to the topic – Last night the Dude treated us to some retail therapy. All went well, but Dudie & I were not really enthusiastic about it. So Dude is taking us for some more retail therapy tonight and dinner in a restaurant.

Diseased and all – Mama’s getting served!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Today is Friday for me

By

On April 26, 2012

In emotions, Family, Holidays, Time out

Yes, I know it’s only Thursday but in fact for all South African today is Friday. For the non – South Africans let me explain:

Friday 27 April 2012 – Freedom Day (Public Holiday)

Weekend

Monday 30 April 2012 – Normal working day (But I have taken leave and I guess more than 50% of the country has too)

Tuesday 1 May 2012 – Workers Day (Public Holiday)

So I will officially be back in the office on Wednesday 2 May 2012. So here’s to being South African. Cheers to the Long Long Weekend….

Ciao

SpiritedMama

P.S. I’m as excited as a 2yr old (I’m comparing my levels to Dudies). Tomorrow we’re going to Cape Town via train….. ****HappY Dance****

Cape Town. Here we come

By

On April 10, 2012

In Family, Holidays, Time out

I just looked at my calendar and realised that in 17/18 days we’re getting on a train to Cape Town. It’s so exciting!!!! Dudie who’s excited but I needed to remember this feeling that I have now before I see my mother and mother in law! Before they do what they do best and fck up my happy mood!>

We’ll be departing Park station on Friday 27 April at midday to arrive in Cape Town on Saturday, early afternoon.  We’ll be taking the Red topless tour bus in Cape Town on Sunday to the Waterfront and hopefully ending it off with a sunset cruise in Hout Bay. Then we get to make memories with some family we haven’t seen in a while! And on Monday evening we’ll fly back to Gauteng. Dudie we planned this for you. We’re indulging You!>

P.S. I had a dream about confronting my mother and mother in law for disrespecting my parenting style with Dudie. They do this all the time and I’ve decided enough is enough. I don’t need to be liked by either of them!

Does your mother and or mother in law respect you as a parent? Or do they know best seeing as how they’ve raised grown kids.

 

 

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