Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Category: About me (Page 4 of 12)

Roundabouts

My life lately has felt like one big never ending roundabout. Somehow, I just felt out of sorts.

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But in all the events that have made me feel like I am stuck in a roundabout there has been some “memorable” moments too.

Does your life sometimes feel like a roundabout?

Yesterday I collect Dudie at school. I decide lets drive with ALL the windows open as there was a refreshing breeze. Well you had to drive slightly over the speed limit to enjoy that breeze. So we are homeward bound and Suddenly Dudie screams and I almost freaking stop in the middle of the road. Why did he scream as if someone was being murdered? Because the wind swept his school hat off his head and into the oncoming traffic.

Now, I have to calculate the risk of getting that school hat back, but that would mean I would have to run into oncoming traffic. Or I write off the hat and fork out another R130 for another school hat. School uniforms are crazy expensive. Why???

So I decide screw that let’s get that hat back. We make a u-turn at the next traffic light only to find the wind and traffic has now swept the hat back to the other side of the road. It’s 2pm traffic and people are crazy fast on this road. So we make a few u-turns because every time I get close to this hat it’s not in the spot where I last saw it. Also, I’m 28 weeks pregnant and need to take very calculated risks…so eventually I said screw this and park the bakkie on the island at the traffic light and jump out to pick up the hat. Hat recovered. Mom scores big time with the Dudie.

As if one roundabout isn’t enough…

Fast forward until Dude walks in the door looking all glum…why because he can’t find his wallet ANYWHERE. He called a friend at work to please check if it’s not there. Said friend is at the gym and will only be able to check in about 30 minutes or so. Oh and we live in Pretoria but he works in Johannesburg, so it’s not just quick drive back to work to check.

Now, I am writing exams on Friday and Dude and Dudie were supposed to collect the youngest dog, who got spayed cos we can’t deal with a newborn and puppies in 2017, but now he doesn’t have a single bank card or drivers license. So I say let’s move now cos I don’t want to be stuck in traffic and you know I need to study. With pregnant belly and all off we go.

Side note, I’m not sure if Dude gets a kick out of driving each and every vehicle we have until the reserve light comes on. I can’t comprehend this. Why? When we always have to be somewhere quickly we must first stop for petrol or diesel…..I digress

I stop for diesel. Then off to collect the dog at our trusted Vet, who is now closing his practice and immigrating. We have been with him for about 13 years. Where am I going to find such a great vet again. (On Wednesday evening After being discharged from hospital we quickly drop our dog at the vet. Receptionist is freaking out cos I had a weird look on my face as the resident alien just kicked my ribs and because I still wearing my hospital id band. She thought I was going into labour.) I settle the bill and we get the dog. Homeward bound.

On route Dude’s friend calls to say that he found his wallet and will keep it safe til the morning. As we get into the house, we (Dude) says there is enough leftovers for supper. I go try to study. I emerge from the room every now and then for some snacks or a drink. Then I announce I’m having a muffin and yoghurt for supper you guys need to sort yourselves out. The Dudie goes and checks the kitchen and very unamused announces, “Uh where’s the supper?”. Whilst checking the microwave and oven😂. Dudie settled on cream cheese and salticrax. Dude settled on fish.

I go back to study, Dudie brings two of his favorite stuffed toys to help me. Then asks “Are you like doing sums? Or those words that you can see or touch uhm like nouns or is it the ones that hold  a place?” I figured he was referring to pronouns. This kid thinks I am clever but he forgets that I too attended school once upon a time, or back in the olden days like he calls it.

I asked Dudie if he wanted to help put some oil on my growing tummy but oh boy, this kid used about 1/3 Of the bottle on my tummy. If you dropped me into a deep fryer you could fry up 1 kilogram of calamari for the amount of oil on my tummy.

So even though I feel like I’m in a bit of a roundabout, I still have so many memorable moments with my spirited family. They keep me grounded. And they sure keep me entertained.

Happy Friday.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I think my exam went way better than anticipated this morning. Granted I didn’t get much sleep but I am taking a siesta right after I post this.

Admitted…

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I know, I know, “life is what happens when you making other plans…John Lennon”.

Admitted to hospital

I find it rather ironic that I am in hospital and my bag and the resident alien’s bag is no where near being packed. I can already hear Mamma telling me that as soon as I get home I’d better pack my bag as well as the resident alien’s bag.

Side note: Somewhere in my 8th month of pregnancy with Dudie, I was admitted to hospital. No bags packed. Nothing. As soon as I got home, Mamma made me pack our bags just in case.

Well currently I am #27weeks pregnant and was admitted yesterday. I can hear Mamma tell me to pack our bags already.

Guess what I will be doing when I get home. I need to get a hospital bag🤔🙄

And over the weekend Dude was saying that we still have loads of time before the baby arrives. Really? I think we all got a wake up call. We need to be prepared…

I am in private room in hospital. I am actually grateful because I think I need the solitude right now.

Spirited Mama

P.S. There is still so much that needs to be done. I am not quite ready yet….

Recharge….

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I am writing this post whilst sitting on a blue bench at Uvongo Beach. It is a sunny but overcast breezy day at the ocean. The breeze is exactly what I need as I feel like I suddenly have hot flushes. The ocean spray feels soft and cooling on my sunkissed face.

It is magnificent. It is breath taking. It is GOD’s creation. And I am basking in its glow. I am humbled and grateful for a weekend of connecting with myself, Dude, Dudie and God. Somehow, spiritually I am at peace. I woke up everyday feeling extremely grateful for a new day, for our blessings but also just for another beautiful day.

Our car is packed to make our way back to Gauteng but we are not done with Kwazulu Natal just yet. As I write this post Dude and Dudie are fiahing from the pier. We are still on our way to Durban itself, for a stopover at UShaka. We can never be this close and NOT stop at Gorimas at UShaka. They have the yummiest butter biscuits as well as spices.

For now I am signing off to enjoy every bit of This magnificent view. To soak up the sun and to wet my feet in this warm ocean current. What a way to start a MONDAY. I feel alive.

Spirited Mama

P.S. Dude and I were having the discussion at the fireside lat night about how recharged we feel. He feels like he has been on holiday for six months.

This is how we roll. We take frequent breaks. Because we know how draining life can be. We often need a recharge. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of God’s grace.

Is your child armed and ready?

I found this post  on “The MOM Diaries”

I Lost My 3 Year-Old While Playing Hide And Seek PLUS Safety Tips!

Reading that headline – My heart sank. Now I have not personally had such an experience (hopefully I will not) but it can HAPPEN to ANYONE. Kids are fast and incredibly creative/inventive/sneaky/escape artists etc…

I AM the paranoid mom. I bought the baby strap to keep Dudie in tow when we went out. People were disgusted that I put my child on a leash -guess what he is safe and with me was my very diplomatic response. I had people asking me in very hushed tones where I bought that strap cos they were too embarrassed to ask out loud. Hell even my Dude was not impressed with me. I stuck to my guns.

I don’t allow my kid to play amongst the clothing rails in a shop. Neither do I allow him to run up and down an aisle. He is always within my sight. Some people find this too overbearing but in hindsight I say rather safe than sorry.

Playgrounds at restaurants freaks me out and totally stress Dude out. Dudie doesn’t often play in the restaurant. We are there to eat as a family as we would at home – we eat together as a family. We do allow “some” play time in some restaurants where “we” are comfortable and where we can see Dudie.

It got me thinking. Is my child armed and ready  with the necessary emergency information? Not emergency information that is written down somewhere for him but does he “know/remember” his emergency information. He knows our names and our surname. He knows my number (and is way too happy to give it to anyone willing to listen. this includes random marketers) He knows his home address.

My question to Dudie – What is Dad’s number?

Dudie – In an emergency I will call you and you can just call Dad.

Me- We are together almost ALL the time. What if I can’t talk or if I have an emergency, how will you call Dad?

Dudie – Uhm , ok is it that 082 number?

Me – YESSSS! Now let’s start practicing it again please.

Is your kid equipped for an emergency?

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Spirited Mama

P.S. Dudie now knows the number!

My weekly schedule

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People listen up – working half day does not equate to doing half the work….In fact you do a full days work in half the time. Last week I wrote about the Benefits of a half day JOB

It is not all moonshine and roses. I do the school run mornings and afternoons. There is NO sick day to just lie in bed. The kid needs to get to school and extra-murals so I have to drag my ass out of that bed, in sickness and in health EVERYDAY!

Dudie once told me “Mom, when one is sick you need to stay in bed right?” Me – yes boy. Your body needs to rest so that it can get better. Dudie – well you NEVER get sick hey? I rest my case!

This is what my weekly schedule looks like. It is not cast in stone and on most days we are home way earlier than our schedule predicts.

Time / period Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
05:00 – 06:00 Wake up and get ready Wake up and get ready Wake up and get ready Wake up and get ready Wake up and get ready
06:15 – 06:45 Get Dudie ready Get Dudie ready Get Dudie ready Get Dudie ready Get Dudie ready
06:45 – 07:00 Breakfast Breakfast Breakfast Breakfast Breakfast
07:00 School run School run School run School run School run
08:00 – 12:30 MOM at work MOM at work MOM at work MOM at work MOM at work
13:00 -14:00 Collect @ School Squad training – Swimming Collect @ School
13:15 – 14:15 PlayGolf Home
13:30 – 14:30 Private Swimming Collect @ School

14:00

Cricket Practice
14:30 – 15:30 Squad training – Swimming Violin lesson Private Swimming 

 

Collect @ School
15:30 – 15:45 Home Home Home Home  
16:00 – 17:00 Homework Homework Homework Homework  
18:00 – 19:00 Dinner time Dinner time Dinner time Dinner time  
19:00 Bath time and get ready for bed Bath time and get ready for bed Bath time and get ready for bed Bath time and get ready for bed  
19:30 Bed time Bed time Bed time Bed time  

The empty spaces in between are reserved for Mom to do a shop run/read/gynae/appointments/etc… Sometimes we get home earlier than anticipated and homework is done by 4pm. On a Friday Dudie doesn’t get homework so when we walk into the house we just plonk onto our beds and just do whatever we please. Certain Saturdays we have sporting fixtures so that means we are on the field, wherever that may be as we do not always play home grounds either, by 7am. Weekends are downtime for family outings/activities/etc.

Some times we manage to squeeze in a walk with the dogs during the week. But basically this is how it goes. By looking at our schedule we were never able to do these things when I worked full time. I used to get home by 6pm and then it was a mad rush to get things done. We are blessed that Dude always gets home by latest 16:00 so when I wasn’t there he would just jump in and cook and start on homework etc. But we also never get time with Dude in the morning as he leaves rather early. Some days I will get up extra early and bake something for breakfast and make him a steaming cuppa just to say thanks. We know he wants to be there but at this stage it’s just not possible. We get the best of him in the afternoons.

Yes we are busy but we love it. In fact I can’t imagine what we would be doing if we just had nothing to do. My day is way more hectic than some of my colleagues who work full time. I just can’t see myself in that rat race again, hence why I wrote Happiness vs my full time salary.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I am starting to wonder how we will fit in the resident alien’s schedule….

Benefits of a half day JOB

Yes, it is NOT all moonshine and roses but it does have ALOT of benefits. The biggest pitfall is you earn less than you normally would. (As an aside – my salary is actually NOT too bad compared to most full-time employees….)And you do a full days work in half the time. Nowhere has anyone ever said you will do half the work. EVER. You are supposed to be superhuman.

I am out of the office between 12:30 and 13:00 EVERYDAY! I do not compromise my time anymore. I get Dudie and do the usual school run with extra-mural activities, shopping, etc… We are generally home by 3pm with the exception on Fridays. Then we are home, if we didn’t have any errands, by 13:00 – 13:15.

Dudie doesn’t get homework on a Friday so by the time we get home that child is like a caged animal who has been set free. I allow him to watch TV/play his Playstation/just lounge around as he wishes. All whilst I too just plop onto my bed in my lazy state ‘cos come Friday I am beyond tired too.

So essentially a half day JOB means that I am there for all his activities. For all of his sporting fixtures – this kid plays cricket, golf, hockey, soccer and swims. Homework is done by latest 16:00 everyday. Dude gets the benefit of knowing that the family is sorted by the time he walks in the door, which is usually around 16:00. We actually have some good quality family time together. Dinner time is 18:00/18:30. Bath time is 19:00 and bed time is 19:30. And then the adults can have “time-off”.

I sent Dude this article, as I found that it was an interesting read. He agreed that the benefits of a half day JOB outranks the financial gain for a full-time salary.

BEING A STAY-AT-HOME PARENT IS A LUXURY … FOR YOUR SPOUSE

We have time for afternoon snacks, and Seattle Coffee stops whilst we go through the car wash. No more rushing like a headless chicken to get things done. And yes we eat together as a family EVERYDAY. In retrospect, our environment is alot more calmer than it used to be. And considering that our resident alien will be arriving in less than 15 weeks – well it’s definitely more beneficial to work half day.

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Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Try to stay cool as we are experiencing a HEAT WAVE in Pretoria. Even one of the dogs is feeling it… A refreshing night swim1477583964944

 

Mamma….you know I love you

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Image found at www.w-dog.net/wallpaper

Mamma, YOU abandoned our ship. (in case you missed it CANCER WON Mamma lost)

Mamma

Remember how excited you were to plan our September holiday? Remember how excited you were when I called with the news about the resident alien? Remember how excited you were when you decided we should go on a boat cruise to Namibia? And we were planning for 2017 because we had to wait for the resident alien to arrive? I remember the very first time we drove, me being the driver, on the N1 highway in Cape Town. I was the learner driver, you were the licensed driver – although you never drove. That was just the start of our many drives and adventures. Just the two of us. I miss those drives – which never really had a particular destination.

Then I moved to Pretoria. And we stayed in touch via the phone. Since 2015 you even started using whatsapp – I was so proud of you – keeping in touch with me and technology. You visited and often stayed for 3 months at a time. It wasn’t perfect but we loved you nonetheless. We argued/disagreed/fought but still remained true and loyal to one another. Nothing and no one could break our bond. Our droves continued in Pretoria.

Then started my morning peak hour drive conversations with you. Almost daily we spent an hour talking whilst I was in transit – don’t worry you were on “speaker phone”. When I changed my job to work 7kms from home that hour long conversation was still an hour –  only difference is I used to sit in the parking lot finishing my conversation with you. So many times I was late for work – not because of traffic but because I had to finish my conversation with you. And it was SO worth it. Our random ramblings, some things trivial and some so important and meaningful to us.

Our lives changed

Well things have changed. “Life happens when you are making other plans… John Lennon” My LIFE has changed. YOU are no longer here to physically share it with me or my family. We miss. I MISS you. Always! They say that grief gets better with time. I say it doesn’t. We just find ways to live and/or cope with the grief.

Who knew that our holiday in April 2016 would have been our last one together. That this was one of our last breakfasts together.breakfast

That week was so special. One week of just the two of us alone at night, once more sharing a bed. Much like the last week before you became an angel. Just the two of us. A game of Checkers we played – And YOU won. A game of Putt Putt we played in the afternoon rain. And then you chickened out of our night swim that you requested. Was it because you were scared I would see your lump?  Our last supper – your infamous roosterkoekdinner

We talked and laughed so much that night that we hardly slept. The boys came knocking on our door to wake us for breakfast the next day. Those memories are forever in my heart and soul.

The hardest thing in my life

Losing you was one of the hardest things that I have to deal with. You are forever etched in my heart, mind and soul. I am a part of you as much as you are a part of me. Your last message to me was cryptic. I still don’t understand but perhaps with time all will be revealed.

Thank you for what you have done for me. But also for what you have taught me. I will do that Namibian boat cruise for you. For us. 

Love and miss you ALWAYS!

L

Spirited Mama

P.S. I sometimes wonder now that you are an angel are you spending time with my resident alien?

 

Blog content

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I have been asked before how I come up with content for my blog. Because sometimes it is witty/funny/helpful and who would have known informative. Well the answer is simple really….

My content is my real life experiences. No really the very thing that you are laughing at is actual events in my life. Sometimes I read my own posts and think whoa I wish that was fiction but then I think I wouldn’t be a Spirited Mama without my Spirited family in My spirited life.

I started my blog as a cheaper alternative to therapy. And yes it has been liberating but it is also an honest reflection of my life as well as my choices in life.

So stick around if you fancy a laugh because I can guarantee it’ll be cheaper than visiting a therapist. You know they say that we all carry our own cross/burden/load well sometimes hearing what others are facing in life can make your load seem lighter.

Spirited Mama

Today is rough

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(Really can’t remember where I got this quote from but I’m sure you will find it on Google)

Today is rough. I am still raw with emotion but getting better. I actually didn’t realise how raw my emotional hurt for Mamma still was…. The hurt, the pain, the longing for Mamma is as fierce as my LOVE for Mamma. It’s only been 52 days since CANCER WON.

Yesterday was my birthday. It started as a great day and ended as a great day. In between is where I buckled…

We went out to dinner to our favourite Mimmos, funny how we have shared that place with Mamma too before. As we walked in there was an older lady with short grey hair wearing the exact same blue top that was indeed one of Mamma’s favourites. Well I cried for more than half the dinner. I even cried after she had left. I cried when I got home and I cried some more when I went to bed. Dude feels it was a sign that Mamma was there celebrating with us.

The hurt doesn’t get better with time. We only find ways to live and cope with it!

Spirited Mama

Miss you always Mamma!

My birth day. 33 today

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So today is my birthday. Every year I find myself wondering if my mom actually remembers my birth. The time. The surroundings etc. I can remember Dudie’s day as if it was yesterday. It is etched in my memory. And I can’t wait for the resident alien’s day to arrive. I am grateful and abundantly blessed to be able to celebrate this day. So many people don’t get to celebrate their birthday. I am happy just being with my Dude, Dudie and resident alien in utero. I have no checklist to tick off those boxes of where you are suppose to be at 33years of age. My life is exactly where God has intended it to be.

I have no desire for fancy gifts just wealth, health and prosperity – in which ever forms they may come. I am learning to accept the things that I cannot change. More importantly I am accepting me. I am enough for me.

Happy birthday to me!

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Spirited Mama

P.S Today I am also 24 weeks pregnant. OMG my clothes seem to have shrunk! I need to get a new wardrobe, at least maternity wear aint drab no more, all whilst Preparing for baby

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