Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Tag: 2018

52 lessons for 52 weeks

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 7 – Love Yourself

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent 

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go


Do you love yourself?

This is has never been an easy task, well not for me anyway. I have always battled to just love myself the way I am. I’m always trying to do better/be better/look better. I am happy with where I find myself in my life right now. Certain things can be improved but all in good time. Not everything is controllable. Sometimes we need to do what we need to do and believe and have faith that God will take care of the rest. To love yourself is accepting who you are. And it’s ok to not have it all figured out as yet. There are many opportunities to learn and grow as you go through life. You just need to be open to the idea(s) and willing to take on the opportunity when it arises. Of course I love myself but I tend to put the needs of others ahead of my own. It is not something I do consciously but rather it has become my second nature. It just happens…

Be open to ideas and take the opportunity

Are you on YOUR priority list?

It’s ok to be a little selfish here. You know the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup…” If you are not ok, how will you be able to help someone else? Believe it or not but if you don’t love yourself, how will you love someone else? You need to take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of others. More often than not, as a parent you take care of your kids needs first. (Well this is my #truth ) And as you work your way down your priority list you eventually get to yourself…Or do you? Are you even on YOUR priority list? I have been told that I have a very caring nature. I tend to “care” ALOT about others’ well-being but it seems in the process I forget to nurture my own well-being. I will go the extra mile to ensure that those on my priority list will be taken care of in whatever form, shape or size required but why don’t I just do the same for me…

Secure your oxygen mask first before you assist fellow passengers

Recently, Dudie and I have been butting heads over morning routines. This child will drop what he is busy with to help someone else. Now as much as I love that about it, it also grates me to no end as this is normally why we need to rush during school runs. I used the example airlines use in their safety videos, “You need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can assist fellow passengers.” Much to my delight, he immediately got the message and seems a little more focused these days. And then to my detriment, I also realised such is life too. I need to secure MY oxygen mask first!

This was by far one of the most difficult posts to write. It’s not that I don’t have the words. It’s that I don’t know how to put what is inside my head into a blogpost.

So do you love yourself?

Food for thought: Would you secure your oxygen mask first or someone else’s?

Spirited Mama



52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 6 – Let it go

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

If you read the previous lessons it’s almost a given that this lesson was coming either way. I have been tangled in a range of emotions the last two weeks and the lessons that have crept in was nothing knew. Perhaps it was God’s way of reminding me to do some introspection. Perhaps I needed to remind myself of my series. Perhaps I just needed a reality check. In the midst of trying to juggle life, Dude and I have had to make some serious life altering decisions. Yes, it was an emotional roller coaster which led to us being sleep deprived as we discussed the situation for hours on end, for 4 days straight. LET IT GO! I know it’s sounds easier than what it actually is but the truth is we complicate our lives, ourselves. Believe it or not, the choice is yours. It need not be complicated. Be technical and weigh up your pro’s and con’s and decide what the best decision is for YOU.

You don’t need to carry excess baggage

Much like when you are travelling on a flight and you have to pay for your excess baggage, the same can be said about life. You might not have to fork out the physical cash but you will pay in some way for carrying excess baggage through life. That payment could be the result of you not living up to your true potential/not seeing or being open to opportunities. Why? Because you are already overloaded and just physically/mentally/emotional cannot take on more than your current situation. Free up your baggage allowance. Let go of shit and make sure you have a few kilograms in your weight limit to spare.

My baggage

I consider my day to day life and a few short term goals my hand luggage/carry on luggage. I try and clear my carry on luggage as often as possible as this is most likely the most flexible baggage I have. It can change on a daily basis.

Long term goals and a few short to medium term goals is what I consider my precious 23-30kg checked baggage. You know the shit you sort of push to the back of your mind to deal with later, or the shit that you don’t necessarily want to deal with immediately so you park it in your long term memory. This will consume you. This will hinder your thought processes as well as your decision-making ability. With carrying baggage in life you sometimes lose the objectivity and neutrality that is often necessary to make a judgement call. Like me you may be slightly obsessed with another person’s decisions and rationale that your own judgement is clouded and you are sort of stuck on “how can Person X make such decisions?” You cannot possibly be objective if you are still questioning their motives. Again, LET IT GO!

Let go to move forward

Sometimes we need to let go of stuff to be able to move forward, to be able to take on what is intended for us. However hard the decision may be, sometimes we need to let go of whatever/whomever is not good for us. With that being said, I know from experience it’s not that easy to just let shit go. That shit will weigh you down. It will consume you. The more shit you pile on to your load, the more it will take over your existence.

Go live your life – Spirited Mama quotes


Food for thought on this cold Monday morning….

Spirited Mama

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52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

I apologise for being so behind on blogging but believe me I’ve had some difficult moments getting through my lessons whilst juggling hospital stays/family/work/life in general.

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Everything in life changes ALL the time. Sometimes we are oblivious to the changes that are happening right in front of us. Is it that we are too “blind” to see them or recognise them? Or are we so engulfed in life that we are simply too busy to notice? And before we know it we find ourselves in very different situations almost having some sort of epiphany about what just transpired. Why then when we know change is inevitable are we still so surprised when change occurs? Are we so complacent in our lives that we can’t possibly imagine things won’t always be a certain way? Or are we just living with the hope that the phase shall never pass?

Embrace the changes that life brings you


For I know the plans I have for you

The sooner you accept that there are things you cannot control the better. Rather embrace the changes that life brings you. Instead of freaking out that things have changed and are not what you are used to, go with it. Things might turn out to be better than before. It could even be the best thing that could have happened to you. How will you know if you don’t try? Some of the best things in my life have happened when I let God take control and I sat back and embraced the changes. Yet I do forget that I should let God be in control. I too am guilty of wanting to control my life and what happens.

Change is scary

Yes, change is scary. But instead of fearing the actual event/situation it is more the fear of change that cripples us. The fear of the unknown. How will I manage xyz? How will I know what to do? We are stronger and way more resilient than what we give ourselves credit for. Take the chance and enjoy the change. It may be just what you need. Because you know the Lord already has plans worked out for each and everyone of us. As people, we complicate matters by trying to do someone else’s work, re: God’s work. All we need to do is follow our path and do what we need to do. This is a tricky situation as it is not as clear as daylight what exactly those paths are. But you have got to have faith and trust your gut/heart that you will make the best decision when required to.

Embracing change whilst change is occurring

Need I remind you that life happens in between. 2018 is only just starting to feel like a new year but we have already juggled 6 nights in hospital when Troll contracted the Adenovirus/dealt with copious amounts of homework/extra-murals and sporting fixtures for Dudie. Instead of having a rigid system, try to be flexible to a degree. You will never only have one change to deal with. It comes when you least expect it and most likely when you feel that you cannot possibly change your current situation for whatever reason. I am teaching myself to embrace the changes. It’s not easy but it sure is rewarding. You may not always be able to see the silver lining in a situation but believe me there is one. We just need to look a little harder/deeper than what meets the eye….

If you remember only one thing from this post, let it be this:

Remember this quote by Spirited Mama

How do you deal with change? Do you embrace it?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1  – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

This week’s lesson is as old as time but how many of us actually live by it? I was raised in the same house as my brother but we are in fact almost a decade apart, and definitely raised differently and in different times/worlds. Growing up we always had what we needed and/or wanted. We were blessed and fortunate. BUT where we lack is that emphasis was placed on possessions rather than people. Many would describe us as “being well off” but I didn’t see or think of it that way. As an adult, I see where these perceptions stem from. Now that I am a parent, my husband, aka Dude, and I have very different parenting styles to that of our parents. We are trying to place the emphasis on PEOPLE rather than possessions. And I sincerely hope that my boys, aka Dudie and Troll, will learn that valuable lesson.

People vs Possessions

People come and go in our lives. It’s is the circle of life. Possessions on the other hand is merely a bunch of materialistic goods that you have acquired in your life, whether you have worked for it,  earned it or perhaps inherited it. How do you place so much value on material things that exist in a temporary world? Your focus should be on the people in your life. Those people who share your life’s journey. Those very same people who encourage you to be the best version of you. Most of us have encountered a saying “some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. #truth Some people teach us for an entire lifetime, some teach us for a short while and others…well some we need to let go of… My wish is that we find the reason or purpose and enjoy the person who is part of YOUR life. This is easier said than done but at least enjoy the friendship no matter what the lifespan may be.

Choose the “right” people for you

Not all people in your life is on your side, or in your corner. You will encounter people that are out to get you, that don’t wish anything good for you, and some are just plain mean and jealous of you. Don’t let that cramp your style. Move on and move forward. Some people are only there for a short period but can have the most profound effect on your life. Appreciate the people. Appreciate the lesson you gain from dealing with people. You may not always know why certain people cross your path but in due time all will be revealed.

What do you treasure? People vs Possessions? Be honest with yourself…

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 3 – Be YOU

Hopefully by now you are aware of my series, 52 lessons for 52 weeks. If not, for Week 1 click here and Week 2 click here

Week 3: Thursday 18 January

Today as we celebrated the fact that we were blessed to open our eyes to a beautiful day, we also celebrated the Dudie starting Gr 3. How even did we get to this point in our lives SO quickly. It feels like yesterday that I looked a pregnancy test with two pink lines on it! We stood at line up watching the excitement, anxiety, joy, laughter and some tears being shared. I suspect the tears were all from newbie scholars. Then my eye caught Dudie, who happily walked right up to the front of the line and patiently waited for his name to be called. The lesson for week 3: Be YOU! The confidence Dudie exuded was beyond me. From the first day at school, he has always just been himself and found “his” space. This is a character trait that I would like to think he gets from his Mom 🙂 *pats myself on the back*


This week lesson is not only for myself but also for my kids. Be YOU! you can only be YOU. Don’t try to be like others. Don’t compromise yourself or your happiness. Once you know how to be you, you will in turn be good to others. If you are happy, you will spread your happy.

All around us we see too many people wanting to be like others. Compromising their lives, livelihood and happiness. Here’s a quote to live by:

You were born to STAND OUT!

I get that there are times where sacrifices are made for the greater good. Let’s not be stubborn or hard arsed. But believe me when I say, trust your gut. If you truly feel unhappy, unsure of something make sure YOU are happy with YOUR decision first. You will never please everyone, neither will you ever keep everyone happy. Ensure that YOU live your life. YOU make YOUR decisions. And be happy with YOUR decisions. Remember that every decision will have a consequence and sometimes repercussions. Make sure that YOU are happy with it!

Now let us get on our merry way and go sprinkle some happy!

Follow my journey in my 52 lessons for 52 weeks and discover with me, uncover with me, and grow with me. I’m petrified as to what I am opening myself up to BUT how else will I learn and grow if I don’t challenge myself to do greater things.

Are you YOU?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 2 – Be an example…

This post is a little late but I’ve been having some technical difficulties and we were away from home for a few days. We squeezed in a quick trip to Cape Town just before Dudie starts school again. More about that in another post on another day.

Week 2: Be an Example

You may know about my journey of 52 lessons for 52 weeks. If not click here for week 1, which is also my introductory post. Week 2: Be an example focused on what example I am setting for my boys. The type of person I am, my character traits. The way I react to situations. The way I handle a melt down. As a parent it is not easy to ALWAYS keep your “cool” BUT you know those little eyes and ears are watching and listening to your every move. Parenting my boys is way more intense than any pressured job I’ve ever done! Be an example…how many times have you heard that? We all know it but do we really live it? I certainly don’t. I try but I falter an fall along the way side often. Here’s an example, Dudie is 8 years old and knows NOT to swear or cuss. As his parents we swear/cuss but we try not to especially in front of the kids. Dudie knows which words NOT to repeat. *High five to us* Now steps in Troll, aka the baby, who will be 1 year old in less than 10 days! Troll is at the mimicking and copying stage and we’ve noticed that he hangs on every word we say, and watches every move we make. He wants to copy us. Now we have picked up that Troll is mouthing the “F” sound…yes that’s right the “F” sound. Not to repeat words like “food, fruit, fun, face, etc” BUT the word he wants to copy is FUCK! Holy moly, we need to watch ourselves!!! We tend to let loose when Dudie is not around but forget we have a baby who is watching and listening.

Learning lessons the hard way

For me to teach myself some lessons, I’m digging into emotions buried way below my inner core…It’s hard, it’s scary but I know I need to do it to better myself. I’m doing it so that my boys will grow up to be brave enough to face their emotions instead of burying things and moving on and rather face whatever situation head on and deal with it right then and there. Case in point, my parents. We don’t get along. We are civil but we don’t get along. We are just way to different. We can be in the same company and not speak for the entire time and I would be fine with that. I don’t know how they feel about it but they are certainly not doing anything about it. I have moved on. Some hard decisions were made for me to be able to live my life. Yes they are the boys’ grandparents and we visit with them when we are in Cape Town but I’m sure as hell not going to break my neck trying to just fit them in to our lives. Some people just don’t work for you, so what would make your parents any different? I know I am raising kids and they might turn around and tell me that I don’t work for them but that is the chance I’m willing to take. A chance to give my boys an unconditional love, a life filled with family – because hey we have lots of other family who loves us and wants to spend time with us. A sincere upbringing to see what love actually is – it’s a feeling, an emotion that overpowers all other emotions!

Putting my lessons out in the universe for 2018

Some might say it’s karma or murphy’s law but since I put out my 52 lessons for 52 weeks I’m really being tested on these lessons. These lessons are not unique to me, I’m sure of it! Neither are they “NEW” lessons. I’m sure most people will find some, most or maybe all lessons something they can relate to. This series is suppose to be a learning experiment for me and hopefully I can find some humor in them and not always be so serious…I find that being an example is huge. I’m raising kids who I hope will someday grow into beautiful, respectful, humble young men. Men who will know how to treat others but not let others take advantage of them. I see them watching their Dad, aka Dude, all the time. I see them watching how he treats me and by golly if they take with them only a quarter of what their Dad is indirectly teaching them, they WILL know how to treat a woman like a queen!

I am not a confrontational person but I have been facing confrontation so often I feel like it may very well be part of my routine. So I’m pulling up my socks and showing my boys how to handle confrontation. Stand your ground. Don’t be a dumb ass. Listen and decipher the information but ultimately deal with the situation right then and there!

Let me continue to Be an example….we are having a pj day 🙂

Spirited Mama

52 lessons

52 lessons for 52 weeks

So we made it to the year 2018! Aren’t we blessed to see it? A new year, new opportunities, to new beginnings and to taking with us all the good/positives from 2017.

There are NO resolutions here

I am not one for new years resolutions. I know not to bull shit myself. I would much rather spend my time and energy on doing something positive for myself and my family without having to fret about a promise I made at the beginning of the year, which I know might only last for the month of January, if even that long. Kudos to those people out there who can stick to their respective resolutions BUT it just doesn’t work for me. I have tried it and failed dismally. Maybe the resolutions I made were not of purest intent. Maybe it wasn’t “MY” resolutions to begin with. Maybe I was jumping on a bandwagon of what I thought would be great resolutions to have…Whatever it was, it just wasn’t working for me.

2018 Intentions

Personally, I prefer to see myself living with “intent” this year. Not that I haven’t been doing it before but I want to be mindful of my choices and be consciously aware of what I am doing/what I am about to do, weighing up the “pros and cons”. I am challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone and dig deep into emotions buried so deep that it makes me breath a little faster just thinking about what I am about to do. Life is never “easy” but when we work at it we are nurturing our souls and strengthening relationships, creating lasting bonds and giving ourselves and others the “best” we can be. I am no easy feat when it comes to showing emotions. I struggle with this. ALOT. Starting of this new year had me thinking… we hear about “living your best life” or live each day like it’s your last” but what am I doing about it to live my best life. What if I wasn’t here tomorrow? God help me, as I long to see my boys grow up and find that special person to share their lives with, perhaps even have a few kids of their own. I decided to challenge myself with 52 lessons for 52 weeks for 2018.

Why 52 lessons for 52 weeks

Well, each and every week for the rest of this year I will challenge myself head on to deal with an emotion/problem that has hindered me in the past. I am not going to delve into my past but I will need to make some tough choices as I hold onto 2018 to live my best life. The weekly post may be filled with raw emotions, snot and ugly cries or perhaps some unicorns and rainbows. I know that it is necessary and I know that I need to voice it. I know that this may be the only way to be better.

Week 1 – Thursday 4 January 2018

None of that new year, new me bullshit. Week 1 – I am focusing on living with intent. I am not perfect but I am trying to be the best that I can be. This week I am focusing my energy on really living and by living I mean trying to find something good/positive in every moment, albeit hard the challenge is to find a positive to create a good memory. It is way too easy to just get pissed/upset if things don’t work out the way we want it to. The challenge is to analyse what is about to/or has happened and choose how to react to it. Choosing a positive reaction that is. Learning a lesson, so to speak!

I cringe every time I hear someone say “new year, clean slate”. I am still me and you have still done xyz to offend me etc etc, so what it’s a new year and we must now just all move on and start afresh? Not in Spiritville. I’m not holding grudges but I do think that it is way too easy for people to just get away with things that may have hurt/offended someone. SO instead of me trying to “fix” what others did, I am starting with me. Fixing MY wrongs, living with intent, consciously being aware of how my actions and reactions may affect ME, and those around me.

Join me in my 52 lessons for 52 weeks and discover with me, uncover with me, and grow with me. I’m petrified as to what I am opening myself up to BUT how else will I learn and grow if I don’t challenge myself to do greater things.



I would love to hear some of your lessons, if you have any to share. If you don’t want to comment below, feel free to drop me an email spiritedmamablog@gmail.com


Spirited Mama


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