Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Tag: happiness (Page 1 of 7)

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 9 – TRUST

If you are new to my series you can find the previous posts at the end of this post.

Week 9 – Trust

How easily do we trust strangers? Why do you, sometimes – for me at least, ignore that little voice in your head?

This lesson made me think about how easily we trust a pilot to fly us safely to our destination and back home. Someone we have NEVER met and perhaps even seen BUT we board that airplane without so much as batting an eyelid. You fasten your seat belt and off you go into the blue skies.

I know that you need to put your TRUST in someone at many different phases of your life. I would like to think that I always put my trust in God but I digress as I know that this is not always the case. Sometimes, I want to control what cannot be controlled. I want to fly my plane but I’m not a pilot so how could I?

As a parent, I saw first hand how trusting my babies were of me. Each one in his own right. Just trusting me as their mama. They didn’t “know” me but they trusted me. They had no idea what I looked like but when they “saw and met” me in person, they trusted me. The innocence of child is often overlooked yet the innocence of a child is a wonder that many of us adults could learn from. Children have an uncanny way of trusting themselves and their own judgement. Much to a parent’s horror sometimes; you know when you trying to feed the kid broccoli but they just won’t eat it but you insist that it is good for them. Well, this brings me to my lesson – Trust.

Trust yourself

Trust yourself and YOUR own judgement. Nobody knows you better than YOU do. In today’s world, I get that you cannot just go out there and trust each and every single person you meet. Unfortunately, there are many shady characters out there just waiting for trusting people they can prey on. That being said, we have become somewhat paranoid, if you want to label it as something, about each and every single person whom we meet. I’m not saying that you should go out there and just trust everyone who crosses your path. In no way should we just accept and hold hands and sing kumba yaa…

What I am saying is trust YOURSELF. That little voice in your head is seldom wrong. That little voice in your head is also a pretty good judge of character. If someone makes you uneasy, best you move right along. Sometimes it takes some time to be “comfortable” with someone. I have found that this could be that you/they are experiencing some difficult times and the timing of your meet might be “off”. It’s not that they are necessarily bad but it just might not “feel” right at the time. Some people you meet, you connect with easily and often trust immediately. Others not so much. Trust is earned.

Find friends and family you can trust

Even in your own family not everyone has your best interest at heart. Find the friends and family that you can trust. Enough said…I might start a family feud here so best I stop now 🙂

Trust God

Always trust in God. God has your best interests in mind. Everything God does is for our betterment. Even though it might not seem like it at the time, God has bigger and better plans for us. I admit that I don’t always trust in God. Looking back back at those situations, they were terrifying and I totally felt like I had lost control. Because I was never in control to begin with. Somethings are just greater than you and me.

Spirited Mama quotes

*As this series progresses I am finding some lessons more challenging than others. Each lesson is challenging in its own right but some lessons are kicking my @sS…

Trust is your credibility!!!

Do trust people instantly? 

Do you take time to warm up to the idea of trusting people?

Spirited Mama

x

 

Catch up on the series here:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

 

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 8 – FORGIVE

Here is a round up of my series thus far:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

Week 7 – Love YOURSELF

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Well, this certainly is NO easy task for me… Although it shouldn’t be as hard as I think it is. It just doesn’t come easily to me. I am all for receiving what you put out to the universe and I sincerely hope that if I have offended anyone in the past, present or future that they would be able to forgive me. But in that same breath, I wouldn’t hold it against you either if you can’t forgive me.

There is no hard and fast rule here. In my opinion, you should do what makes you happy and comfortable. If you forgive someone based on the fact that someone told you to, well that’s a recipe for disaster right there. It will creep up on you and it will probably cross your mind time and time again once you have a disagreement with the person in question.

When you forgive, you forgive with everything within you. You move on. You let go of whatever it was that was causing you grief. You are free from the effects causing you grief…Spirited Mama

Forgiveness is two fold

By forgiving someone you are not only taking away the power, that YOU bestowed upon them to have over you, but you are setting YOURSELF free. Free from the guilt, perhaps you feel you were to blame, free from hatred, ok maybe hatred is a strong word, free from begrudging others, free from judging others. Why hold YOURSELF prisoner in YOUR own life? More than often, the wrongdoer carries on living his/her life unbeknown to them that they have wronged you. And YOU? You live as a prisoner in your own life. Set yourself free. Take back your power! Use your energy wisely. Redirect your negative emotions to positivism.

#spiritedmamaquotes

I wish you all the patience in the world ‘cos I know how hard it is too forgive.

Do you forgive easily?

Spirited Mama

x

52 lessons for 52 weeks

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 7 – Love Yourself

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent 

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

 

Do you love yourself?

This is has never been an easy task, well not for me anyway. I have always battled to just love myself the way I am. I’m always trying to do better/be better/look better. I am happy with where I find myself in my life right now. Certain things can be improved but all in good time. Not everything is controllable. Sometimes we need to do what we need to do and believe and have faith that God will take care of the rest. To love yourself is accepting who you are. And it’s ok to not have it all figured out as yet. There are many opportunities to learn and grow as you go through life. You just need to be open to the idea(s) and willing to take on the opportunity when it arises. Of course I love myself but I tend to put the needs of others ahead of my own. It is not something I do consciously but rather it has become my second nature. It just happens…

Be open to ideas and take the opportunity

Are you on YOUR priority list?

It’s ok to be a little selfish here. You know the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup…” If you are not ok, how will you be able to help someone else? Believe it or not but if you don’t love yourself, how will you love someone else? You need to take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of others. More often than not, as a parent you take care of your kids needs first. (Well this is my #truth ) And as you work your way down your priority list you eventually get to yourself…Or do you? Are you even on YOUR priority list? I have been told that I have a very caring nature. I tend to “care” ALOT about others’ well-being but it seems in the process I forget to nurture my own well-being. I will go the extra mile to ensure that those on my priority list will be taken care of in whatever form, shape or size required but why don’t I just do the same for me…

Secure your oxygen mask first before you assist fellow passengers

Recently, Dudie and I have been butting heads over morning routines. This child will drop what he is busy with to help someone else. Now as much as I love that about it, it also grates me to no end as this is normally why we need to rush during school runs. I used the example airlines use in their safety videos, “You need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can assist fellow passengers.” Much to my delight, he immediately got the message and seems a little more focused these days. And then to my detriment, I also realised such is life too. I need to secure MY oxygen mask first!

This was by far one of the most difficult posts to write. It’s not that I don’t have the words. It’s that I don’t know how to put what is inside my head into a blogpost.

So do you love yourself?

Food for thought: Would you secure your oxygen mask first or someone else’s?

Spirited Mama

x

Random-facts-spirited-mama

9 Random facts about me, Spirited Mama

Why random facts?

In light of me trying to play catch up on my blog posts/admin/etc, I thought I’d share some random facts about me. To still keep some of my post lighthearted but not detract completely from my more serious post, e.g, my latest post, click here, in my current series 52 lessons for 52 weeks ( You can follow this series week by week to see what lessons I am teaching and/or learning as I go on my life’s journey.)

Random facts in no particular order

  1. I actually work. Like I have a day job. People seriously think that I do not work…how even? Do I dress up for the fun of it? Apparently, I’m so available to my kids that people really think I don’t work. In case you missed it, Mom of two little girls featured me in her series I Am More Than “Just A Mommy Blogger”.
  2. I have way to many pairs of shoes, that I actually never wear. Not because I don’t want to but because I have a few favourites that are my go to shoes. I have donated 30 pairs already and I’m currently busy with operation cleanup my cupboard…
  3. I have terrible #OCD tendencies…I freaking annoy myself, it’s THAT bad. Here’s a typical example; if Dude cleans the kitchen I WILL come back later and wipe the counters/stove/sink just so I know it’s clean according to MY standards. Believe me I have tried to let that shit go BUT it kills me to walk past the sink and it’s *not* clean…enough said
  4. I love a #Rubik’s cube but I have never actually gotten all the squares in the right order. As a household we, Dude, Dudie and I, are working on getting the Rubik’s cube in order. It’s a great way to pass time and just switch off for a while. We keep it on the dining room table so whoever walks past it will pick it up and give it a few twists.
  5. I am currently juggling a few balls in my life right now. If I play those balls correctly I may very well set up a little business this year.
  6. I always dreamed of being the “voice” in the Terminal building at airports. You know the one who announces “Passenger X this is your final boarding call for flight ABC 323. Please report to Gate 3.”
  7. I don’t take sugar in my coffee/tea. It’s been over 8 years now. I cringe if someone wants to add sugar to a beverage. BUT I do love chocolate. Don’t despair, I still get my sugar intake…
  8. I am very rigid with my kids routines. Especially the “Let’s get these kids to bed NOW routine”. Bedtime is 19:30 for both kids. For my own sanity and so that we can have some adult conversation without one of us being interrupted/falling asleep, etc…
  9. I love Tulips

    Random facts about Spirited Mama

    I absolutely adore Tulips.

Feel free to comment with a random fact(s) about yourself below.

Spirited Mama

x

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 6 – Let it go

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

If you read the previous lessons it’s almost a given that this lesson was coming either way. I have been tangled in a range of emotions the last two weeks and the lessons that have crept in was nothing knew. Perhaps it was God’s way of reminding me to do some introspection. Perhaps I needed to remind myself of my series. Perhaps I just needed a reality check. In the midst of trying to juggle life, Dude and I have had to make some serious life altering decisions. Yes, it was an emotional roller coaster which led to us being sleep deprived as we discussed the situation for hours on end, for 4 days straight. LET IT GO! I know it’s sounds easier than what it actually is but the truth is we complicate our lives, ourselves. Believe it or not, the choice is yours. It need not be complicated. Be technical and weigh up your pro’s and con’s and decide what the best decision is for YOU.

You don’t need to carry excess baggage

Much like when you are travelling on a flight and you have to pay for your excess baggage, the same can be said about life. You might not have to fork out the physical cash but you will pay in some way for carrying excess baggage through life. That payment could be the result of you not living up to your true potential/not seeing or being open to opportunities. Why? Because you are already overloaded and just physically/mentally/emotional cannot take on more than your current situation. Free up your baggage allowance. Let go of shit and make sure you have a few kilograms in your weight limit to spare.

My baggage

I consider my day to day life and a few short term goals my hand luggage/carry on luggage. I try and clear my carry on luggage as often as possible as this is most likely the most flexible baggage I have. It can change on a daily basis.

Long term goals and a few short to medium term goals is what I consider my precious 23-30kg checked baggage. You know the shit you sort of push to the back of your mind to deal with later, or the shit that you don’t necessarily want to deal with immediately so you park it in your long term memory. This will consume you. This will hinder your thought processes as well as your decision-making ability. With carrying baggage in life you sometimes lose the objectivity and neutrality that is often necessary to make a judgement call. Like me you may be slightly obsessed with another person’s decisions and rationale that your own judgement is clouded and you are sort of stuck on “how can Person X make such decisions?” You cannot possibly be objective if you are still questioning their motives. Again, LET IT GO!

Let go to move forward

Sometimes we need to let go of stuff to be able to move forward, to be able to take on what is intended for us. However hard the decision may be, sometimes we need to let go of whatever/whomever is not good for us. With that being said, I know from experience it’s not that easy to just let shit go. That shit will weigh you down. It will consume you. The more shit you pile on to your load, the more it will take over your existence.

Go live your life – Spirited Mama quotes

 

Food for thought on this cold Monday morning….

Spirited Mama

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

I apologise for being so behind on blogging but believe me I’ve had some difficult moments getting through my lessons whilst juggling hospital stays/family/work/life in general.

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Everything in life changes ALL the time. Sometimes we are oblivious to the changes that are happening right in front of us. Is it that we are too “blind” to see them or recognise them? Or are we so engulfed in life that we are simply too busy to notice? And before we know it we find ourselves in very different situations almost having some sort of epiphany about what just transpired. Why then when we know change is inevitable are we still so surprised when change occurs? Are we so complacent in our lives that we can’t possibly imagine things won’t always be a certain way? Or are we just living with the hope that the phase shall never pass?

Embrace the changes that life brings you

 

For I know the plans I have for you

The sooner you accept that there are things you cannot control the better. Rather embrace the changes that life brings you. Instead of freaking out that things have changed and are not what you are used to, go with it. Things might turn out to be better than before. It could even be the best thing that could have happened to you. How will you know if you don’t try? Some of the best things in my life have happened when I let God take control and I sat back and embraced the changes. Yet I do forget that I should let God be in control. I too am guilty of wanting to control my life and what happens.

Change is scary

Yes, change is scary. But instead of fearing the actual event/situation it is more the fear of change that cripples us. The fear of the unknown. How will I manage xyz? How will I know what to do? We are stronger and way more resilient than what we give ourselves credit for. Take the chance and enjoy the change. It may be just what you need. Because you know the Lord already has plans worked out for each and everyone of us. As people, we complicate matters by trying to do someone else’s work, re: God’s work. All we need to do is follow our path and do what we need to do. This is a tricky situation as it is not as clear as daylight what exactly those paths are. But you have got to have faith and trust your gut/heart that you will make the best decision when required to.

Embracing change whilst change is occurring

Need I remind you that life happens in between. 2018 is only just starting to feel like a new year but we have already juggled 6 nights in hospital when Troll contracted the Adenovirus/dealt with copious amounts of homework/extra-murals and sporting fixtures for Dudie. Instead of having a rigid system, try to be flexible to a degree. You will never only have one change to deal with. It comes when you least expect it and most likely when you feel that you cannot possibly change your current situation for whatever reason. I am teaching myself to embrace the changes. It’s not easy but it sure is rewarding. You may not always be able to see the silver lining in a situation but believe me there is one. We just need to look a little harder/deeper than what meets the eye….

If you remember only one thing from this post, let it be this:

Remember this quote by Spirited Mama

How do you deal with change? Do you embrace it?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1  – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

This week’s lesson is as old as time but how many of us actually live by it? I was raised in the same house as my brother but we are in fact almost a decade apart, and definitely raised differently and in different times/worlds. Growing up we always had what we needed and/or wanted. We were blessed and fortunate. BUT where we lack is that emphasis was placed on possessions rather than people. Many would describe us as “being well off” but I didn’t see or think of it that way. As an adult, I see where these perceptions stem from. Now that I am a parent, my husband, aka Dude, and I have very different parenting styles to that of our parents. We are trying to place the emphasis on PEOPLE rather than possessions. And I sincerely hope that my boys, aka Dudie and Troll, will learn that valuable lesson.

People vs Possessions

People come and go in our lives. It’s is the circle of life. Possessions on the other hand is merely a bunch of materialistic goods that you have acquired in your life, whether you have worked for it,  earned it or perhaps inherited it. How do you place so much value on material things that exist in a temporary world? Your focus should be on the people in your life. Those people who share your life’s journey. Those very same people who encourage you to be the best version of you. Most of us have encountered a saying “some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. #truth Some people teach us for an entire lifetime, some teach us for a short while and others…well some we need to let go of… My wish is that we find the reason or purpose and enjoy the person who is part of YOUR life. This is easier said than done but at least enjoy the friendship no matter what the lifespan may be.

Choose the “right” people for you

Not all people in your life is on your side, or in your corner. You will encounter people that are out to get you, that don’t wish anything good for you, and some are just plain mean and jealous of you. Don’t let that cramp your style. Move on and move forward. Some people are only there for a short period but can have the most profound effect on your life. Appreciate the people. Appreciate the lesson you gain from dealing with people. You may not always know why certain people cross your path but in due time all will be revealed.

What do you treasure? People vs Possessions? Be honest with yourself…

Spirited Mama

Why I need routine…

My free spirit needs routine?

I love to read. I always have. I can read anything that keeps my imagination and concentration in high gear. Being a mom has left me reading the ingredients on food labels or airfreshner cans or baby products because frankly I just don’t have the luxury of reading as much as I used to. Reading is part of MY routine. It calms my inner rebel. It allows me to escape to a wonderful world of truths and non-truths.

Being a student most of my time was spent reading prescribed books for modules…what a way to kill my creative spark! I’ve never liked the idea of conforming to societal norms. Think of me as a free spirit, also why I decided on the blog name Spirited Mama. Some might say I’m rebellious but this is ME. I can only do ME.

Even parents need ROUTINE

I love making lists. Do I get to everything on my to do list? Uhm, NO. I’m a parent, wife, employee, student, etc…oh and of course you know life happens in between.

I function best when I have routine. Even my kids thrive on their routines. There are days when my routine is out the window and then I get all anxious and just become overwhelmed until I decide to breathe, calm down and just do one thing at a time, albeit small and insignificant. Believe me it makes a huge difference to getting myself back on track.

I CAN perform very well under pressure But I prefer NOT to work under pressure ALL the time. Deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines.

As far as family life is concerned, we have a routine. ALL of us. We know what needs to happen and when. Even Troll gets out of sorts when the routine is not kept to. We are not a rigid family but I try and keep to routine as far as possible. With Dudie being 8 years old it is somewhat easier to “break” his routine from time to time, Troll not so much. But that being said as long as I have food and milk on hand the baby is as happy as a pig in mud.

A routine in draft mode

As we were nearing the end of 2017, things got a bit manic with deadlines and the last of the to do lists…you know the wind down period. So here is when I pat myself on the back for getting myself and my family ready for a new year and new adventures. The new year brings about a senior in Foundation Phase, Dudie is going to Grade 3! How even? It literally feels like I became a parent the other day but now I have a 8 year old who is very independent and opinionated. Troll will be a senior in his class at nursery school. Me – no longer a student! I’m taking a break from studying and will most likely enrol for postgraduate studies in 2019. What will I do with my “free” time? I’m going to sleep at a normal time like most people do. Why? Because as a mom/wife/employee/student etc I studied when everyone was in bed already – you know that life doesn’t stop just because you are studying…Life has to go on and you still need to fulfil your other commitments. Dude might be studying in 2018….

A major shift in my routine

On the work front, there is a major shift. I am moving to a different department! Cost saving and what not were all the reasons I was given by HR. At first I was extremely apprehensive about this shift. I mean I am NOT unhappy where I currently find myself so why would I want to leave? Let’s just say that the situation could have been handled in a different and better manner. I have prayed and thought about it, weighed up the pro’s and con’s but I can say that I am calm and at peace with what is to come. I’m choosing to look at this as an opportunity to grow. Finding my silver lining here, remember I’m doing 52 lessons for 52 weeks this year. If you haven’t seen it, click here With that said, I knew that we do not control what happens in life but we can choose how we react to what happens. No matter how much you plan…

It’s YOUR choice….

For now I need to get Dudie’s and Troll’s school things sorted. And we may sneak in a quick trip to Cape Town before the school year commences 🙂

How’s 2018 treating you thus far?

Spirited Mama

10 Years ago…

Today, 10 years ago….we became Mr & Mrs ❤️ To be joined together as one.

The one phrase that stuck in my head since 10 years ago is “They are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder” Matthew 19.6 (Dude seems comfused. As if this is the first time he hears this verse…was he not at our wedding😂)

We have grown so much…it amazes me. We have so much to be grateful for and we are most definitely abundantly blessed. We even gained 2 beautiful sons in our marriage.

Dude is sitting next to me as I write this post this is what he just said…”Our marriage is like our tortoise…slow and steady wins the race”.

Cheers to us. To a lifetime of us. Always and forever❤️

Spirited Mama

P.S. The resident alien arrived on 24 January 2017. So in celebrating our 10 years of marriage, we also celebrate the resident alien being 10 days old today.

 

Dinner conversations

We are fortunate in the Spirited household that I work half day. Dudie and I get home anywhere between 13:00 – 15:00, depending on the extra mural activities for the day. EXCEPT on Fridays. We do not compromise our FRIDAY! We have no extra murals and all shopping excursions is left for any day of the week EXCEPT Friday!

Granted Dudie and I are home early during the day and generally Dude is home by 16:00 everyday. We get to have to have a family dinner roughly 18:00 -18:30, you know those ones we see on TV and think fcuk how do they eat that early everyday…well half day JOB = early family dinner time

Our dinner time conversations are roughly about catching up on each other’s day and reminding one another to look at our “schedules” on the board. I am OCD with schedules and lists…I don’t like MAJOR surprises or curveballs. I like to plan and know what’s happening. On most nights this is how it goes…

(This is how it plays off in Dude’s mind)

Me: blah blah blah…so the other kid at swimming blah

Dudie: (interrupts whilst I am still talking) Daddy can I tell you something? Blah blah Blah

Dude: Stares blankly and says WHOA one at a time.

My Dude basically has a hissy fit because we are talking simultaneously. Well let me just add that Dudie sometimes forget to wait until someone is done speaking before going off on a tangent with his own story. That boy will sometimes ask and answer the very question he has just posed to you.

I want to die everytime I have to repeat myself cos who listens to the mom/wife anyway? Dude is so guilty of this. he will literally look me in the eye and “listen” but 5 minutes later asked me  to repeat what I said cos he didn’t hear me….

Our dinner conversations are filled with fun and laughter but sometimes we prefer to have some quiet time too. BUt the other night the boys were cracking jokes. I moaned  the resident alien is super busy and kicking the daylights out of me. Dudie comes to check and gets a kick on the hand. I said everytime the resident alien moves I poke him. Dudie pipes up: So poke him! I snort laughed and sprayed them and the spinach rolls with coffee….which was in my mouth. I did apologise because being pregnant I constantly need to pee and a laugh/sneeze can make me pee my pants #pregnancyjoys Unfortunately for them I sprayed the coffee, fortunately for me I managed to hold my pee.

Oh and NO, there is still NO baby. This boy is making keeping us in suspense. Last week Wednesday, Dr was convinced things are happening, I.e. My cervix is softening and I was 1-2cm dialated. yesterday I walked around at Monte Casino. BUT NOTHING!!!

I will see the Dr later today and we will figure out what is happening with this boy.

Spirited Mama

Page 1 of 7

© 2012-2018 spiritedmama.co.za All Rights Reserved

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: