Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Tag: #momlife

Comfortable in my own skin and body image

I used to be the “skin”ny girl

Once upon a time, I was the skinny girl. In fact all throughout my schooling. BUT I’ve always loved food. There is WAY too much good food in this world to NOT try it.

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, I even had cake for breakfast on most days, until my metabolism kicked my ass and slowed down tremendously. Now that extra piece of chocolate shows up on my hips/thighs/tummy and/or ass. But I am comfortable in my skin. I like who I am even though those dressing room mirrors are very unflattering. My Dude loves my muffin grip. Me not so much but it is a part of me and I do love myself.

Why do we say we need to accept people as they are but we can’t accept ourselves? Is this struggle greater for women that men? Actually, I’d be quite interested in a male point of view. Dude is so proud of his “Dad” physique. He says I took years to get into his shape.

 

Becoming comfortable in my skin

At this stage I am in between sizes😁 Well that’s how I term it. So I don’t have a standard size. One particular cut might be smaller/bigger. I can never just take a size without fitting the item first… I mean come on ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. I buy what fits me. My body. It reminds me of when I bought my wedding dress 10 years ago. I bought an imported dress but it was too big in some places and needed to be altered. The resident tailor in this Boutique store almost had a heart attack as I was drinking a Coca Cola and eating a BarOne…all whilst she was taking my measurements. Her exact words, “What are you doing? You should be drinking water and eating vegetables!” I responded “Excuse me! This dress will fit me NOT the other way round“.

That statement of hers always reminds me to laugh out loud, literally😂. And to NOT take life so seriously. My kids don’t care whether I’m skinny or not. They care that I spend time with them. My husband doesn’t want a skinny wife. He wants a happy wife. And reminds me ALL the time that he loves me and he loves my body just the way it is. Oh, and did I mention that I grew 2 babies with this body?

Body image and what we portray as normal

Back to the point. Kids are so hard on themselves about what the perfect body image is or should. Why? Aren’t we preaching that we are supposed to love ourselves just the way we are? Believe me, I am my WORST CRITIC. I too was in a space of “I need to look a certain way and I’d be happier/enjoy life more/etc”. Blah blah blah. Thankfully, as I get wiser, I seem to care less and less about what I see on TV/Magazines/Instagram/Twitter etc. I do love seeing the “real” people, you know the #nofilter images, no editing. I have nothing against anyone for living a healthy lifestyle and keeping fit. When people ask me if I go to the gym, I aptly respond with I lift 8kgs daily. But it’s not in a gym, it’s at home when lifting Troll. What gets to me is when you are pushed to the point where you feel:

“I must eat this or that”

“I must be on a diet”

“I must go to gym”

“I must lose weight”

The pressure for some is just too much. Some people are just not strong enough to BE THEMSELVES. Some people are blessed with great genes…others not so much. I see the craze about #wellness trending all the time. But what is YOUR wellness? My #wellness is being the best I can be, in whatever shape or form that suits ME. And another thing “who are these people judging you anyway?” What merit do they have? Do they live YOUR life?

Being a wife/mom/employee/etc takes up ALL my time. I’m just happy at the end of the day to sit down and eat my chocolate in peace… Let me be. I’m a fuller version of myself right now🤘

GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. Whichever way you see fit. In the end, only YOU will be answerable for your life anyway.

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am ME. I am UNIQUE.

I don’t want to fit in. I want to STAND out.

Spirited Mama

x

Please can I see yours?

Show me yours

Over the weekend the Spirited family went to the Mall for some shopping/gaming/chilling….oh and eating out of course. Well, let’s just say that it was a bit touch and go for a while at Ocean Basket. Firstly, our waiter did not really understand us clearly. Seemed that he was battling to converse in English. Secondly, to avoid any mishaps, we left Dudie strapped into his pram and just pushed him up to the table. Confined child=semi-controllable toddler.

Well, 30 mins into our meal Dude pipes up “Dudie, you have ruined my Ocean Basket experience every single time. Next time, I’m coming alone!” Well, I thought that I should just give him a voucher to go eat at Ocean Basket for his Birthday!

As we progressed through the day, Dudie informs me that he needs to go poo poo toilet. Ok, now I’m not fond of public toilets and the thought of a baby change room gives me the hibbygeebees…. Well off we went to the family room and Dudie did his thing. I get him ready to go and I say “oh, mama needs to pee, just hold on”.

This followed:

Dudie: Mama, long pause, where’s your p.en.is?

Me: Huh? Excuse me. What did you say?

Dudie: Where’s your p.e.ni.s?

Me: Baby, I don’t have one. I have a v.ag.ina. Girls have v.a.g.ni.as…

<Please bear in mind that there were other moms waiting to use the room, and the sound travels well in that room.>

Dudie: Please can I see.

Then he started begging. So after me bribing telling him that we’re off to play some games and that I can show him mine when we at home….

When we left the room, all the moms were giggling….I wonder why?

On a different note:

This morning I asked him if they are practising for the school concert yet? And what will they be doing? He informed me that they will be doing Nothing…. So I rephrased and asked if they will sing? He answered again with “Nothing” Then I asked what do you mean nothing. And he started singing this song…. And that apparently is what he meant by “Nothing”. So now, I need to check with his teacher whether the song is called Nothing or maybe he is just tired of my probing 🙂

Spirited Mama

My Child, My Rules!

I decided to do a quick update on my MIL (mother in law).

Does your child play by the rules?

A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town. Dudie was getting a bit out of hand unruly so I calmly remind him that he will have a time-out soon, should he not change his behaviour for the better. Well, if you know my parenting style I only give three warnings and that’s that! No negotiating.

I will not be embarrassed by a tantrum throwing toddler anywhere. I’ve put Dudie in time-out in a restaurant, at friend’s homes, etc… My Dudie knows that I don’t make idle threats! Period!

If it’s not my house, does my rules not apply?

So at Ouma’s (Grandma) house, it seems that my child thinks that I will miraculously just let him free…. As the time passed, Dudie started pushing boundaries. Coincidentally, my friend who was visiting, was telling us (me, Ouma, My mom) about how her mom let’s her daughter(she’s 7 months younger than Dudie) do whatever she wants in her house. Her mom tells her *ahem* ‘My house, My Rules! With my jaw on the floor – OMG! My response “WTF”?

I put Dudie in time-out. And of course he has that ugly snot cry calling Ouma come fetch me… Blah Blah Blah. This has happened before and Ouma and an Aunt actually went to his aid. From now on I stand guard when Dudie is in time-out. 🙂 <They cringe when they see me standing there>

My child, my rules

So my MIL jumped on board saying that she doesn’t like that Dudie gets time-outs in her house. This is her house. I respond with; “Well, I’m not letting this child run wild then I have to discipline him when I get home”. And that was the end of it! No negotiating. Dudie gets his time-outs when he deserves them and everyone knows NOT to interfere with my discipline…..

Spirited Mama

How do you handle your Mother and MIL?

P.S. My mother just looked away when I responded. She knows not to interfere.

P.P.S When I told my Dude what happened, he cracked himself. Bear in mind this is his mother we’re talking about. He said that I should’ve told her “My Child, My Rules!!!!

 

 

Fruit is NOT his favourite

Fruit is not high on his list

FF = Fruit Fail!!!! (I’m coming up with new terminology daily)

I *heart* fruit and whilst I was preggars, I ate so much fruit until someone warned me about pregnancy related diabetes…  But I still *heart* fruit. Even now I’m munching on an apple. And I have a banana lined up for later.

I have a 2yr old who wants to die when I offer him fruit. I know for a fact that he eats it at school, so I’m not too stressed that he doesn’t eat it at home. But I’ve come across Fruit Pack. A fruit pureé that is package like a juice…… (I’m starting to smile). Just maybe I can pull this off and add to my “mommy bag of tricks”.

Fruit on the go

Fruit pack – fruit on the go

On Saturday, we skipped off to our Baby City for the usual:

Nappies (thanks to the Pampers bale packs), wetwipes, bubblewash and Fruit Pack.  I decided to get the apple and pear. I think you need to come up with a variety pack so that Dudie can experiment with all the flavours. Well, I showed it to the Dudie. His face lights up and he takes his first gulp. I hold my breath as I can see him swirling that pureé in his mouth and it looks like he’s about to spit it out. But alas, he swallows and say, mmmmmm.

Success! I have now decided that I will be doing fruit packs in his treat box. And this is what today looked like:

P.S. If anyone working for Fruit Pack reads this, please do a variety pack too.

P.P.S Dudie gets all meals and snacks at school but I still pack a treat box everyday. And I love the fact that he looks forward to his treats.

P.P.P.S When will this child just stop using nappies already? He says when he wants to use the loo and then happily comments “see nothing in nappy”. WTF?

Spirited Mama

Why God made Mums!!!!

I received this from a friend. I’m not sure who to credit for this. So, whoever you are – Cheers to you!

WHY GOD MADE MUMS

Answers given by second year school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1.    She’s the only one who knows where the selotape is.

2.   Mostly to clean the house.

3.    To help us out of there when we were getting born..

How did God make mothers?

1.    He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.   Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3.    God made my mum just the same like he made me.

He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum?

1.    We’re related.

2.   God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mum like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mum?

1.    My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.

2.   I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.    They say she used to be nice.


What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1.    His last name.

2.   She had to know his background.

Like is he a crook?

Does he get drunk on beer?

3.    Does he make at least one million a year?

Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?

1.    My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot.

2.   She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.    My grandma says that mum didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1.    Mum doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such an idiot.

2.   Mum.

You can tell by room inspection.

She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.    I guess mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between mums and dads?

1.    Mums work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2.   Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3.    Dads are taller and stronger, but mums have all the real power ’cause that’s who you have to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4.   Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?

1.    Mothers don’t do spare time.

2.   To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?

1.    On the inside she’s already perfect.

Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet.

You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?

1.    She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.

I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my mum smarter.

Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

PRICELESS!!!

Spirited Mama

When you’re kid starts disciplining you…

How do you discipline your child?

I was at my wits ends a while ago with disciplining Dudie. I am not a fan of smacking but once in a while a good smack on the bum does the trick. This might work for some kids NOT for DudiE. He thinks that a smack on the bum is hilarious. So I’ve resorted to the naughty thinking chair. In a corner, still within my sight but no TV/Games/Snacks/toys/anything that’s fun. He sits there for 2 minutes, then I go and give him “the Talk” about what he did and how it’s wrong, etc

I’m always dishing out time-outs. I even did it in a restaurant. Just took him to the baby room and that was that. Well, after time-out, we had such a nice time in the restaurant.

<I really don’t give a rat’s ass about the stares or the onlookers gossiping about my parenting habits. It’s my child and it works for us>

Does your partner discipline your child?

Dude was in awe of how well mannered the Dudie became. Then one day, I get home from work and Dudie breaks down in tears telling me something about music and how upset he is with Daddy Dude. Turns out, Dudie was in the wrong, Daddy Dude put Dudie in time-out and Dudie couldn’t comprehend the fact that Daddy can also discipline him. They are best friends like that… And now what…

Well, Dudie has realised that both Mom & Dad can discipline him and he’s cool with that. But it’s not always moonshine and roses…

When your child disciplines you

Yesterday I started cooking dinner and out of nowhere Dudie pulls up the chair (his small chair) and says “Mommy! Sit down. Blah blah Yada yada” Basically, he put me in time-out. OMG!!! Dude was having such a laugh but I was not impressed ‘cos I need to finish the food etc. I realised that I obviously upset this little man but I still have no idea what I did wrong.  After a few seconds Dudie came to stand in front of me and I said that I’m ready to apologise. SO, I apologized, and we hugged and I was granted permission to get up from the chair.

Not even 5mins later, Daddy Dude was banished to the chair. But Dude didn’t follow protocol and just got up after a while and walked off. Dudie scolded him and proceeded to tell him that he (Daddy dude) needs to sit on the chair. I explained that he needs to let Dudie know that he’s ready to apologise. He did and he too was granted permission to leave the chair.

This child of mine is as cute as a button. When time-out is over he happily puts the chair back in its rightful place.

Spirited Mama

 

And 2012 is the year that our child disciplines us…of course we realise that we are the adults and he is the child. At this stage we are engaging in role play to model desired behaviour in our child.

Update on the frog…

Frog started swimming lessons

So yesterday we started with swimming lessons for Dudie. Wow! Wow! Wow. Oh My Gloria! Dudie went from level 1 to level 2 in his first lesson!  <Can you see/feel how proud I am?>

The school is pretty strict on how they teach the kids.

  1. Parents are not allowed in the pool room ‘cos we distract our kids. <Bitter pill to swallow, but it’s true.  We are allowed to watch them through the viewing panes in reception.>
  2. They follow school terms and once during every term they have a parent’s week when we’re allowed in the pool room. Oh my, I can’t wait for that week.
  3. They also have an evaluation week, termly.

I planned this whole trip to the tee. I even packed his swimming bag the night before. <Yes, I have bags for everything. I even had a back up nappy bag, with set of clothes and all, in his room. Just in case we had to dash out in an emergency with no time to pack a nappy bag J. >

<Can you spot the OCD?>

Anyhoo, I get home 17:15, the trip to the swimming school is only a 10min drive and we only start the lesson at 6pm. So I’m chilled, except for the fact that the entire neighbourhood has no electricity. Traffic lights are out and the road is now a war zone! I’m so blessed to have a husband that gets involved with his son. <Bless your soul, Dude> So Dude gets Dudie a snack and I change Dudie into his swimming costume so that when we get to the school he’s ready. And I can just throw him into the pool. Hehehe. I didn’t mean that literally.

So we arrive at the gate, we drove a moerse ompad (detour for non Afrikaans readers) to get there to avoid all the traffic, with 1 minute to spare. Then we’re told that our instructor is writing exams so we have a replacement coach, a male. Dudie was a bit antsy but took to the coach within  a few minutes. At once stage they were out of my sight but then I saw them blowing bubbles and Dudie doing the monkey crawl unaided. Whoa!!!!

Now the next lesson is on Thursday, and we’ve decided to try the female coach too. We will then decide on a coach or maybe just use both. As both Dude & I feel that it would add diversity to his learning.

He woke up this morning asking when he’s going swimming?

Spirited Mama

P.S. We have a swimming pool but it’s not heated. And no, the solar heated pools are not warm enough for me during winter. It needs to be a proper heated pool. If anyone out there wants to heat our swimming pool, please feel free. I’ll throw in a braai and drinks on the house…

P.P.S When I was changing Dudie in the locker rooms, a young woman just got out the shower “full monty – full frontal” and came to sit on the bench to cream herself. Now, my child is 2 and the only naked woman he has ever seen is me. I could see the shock on my boy’s face. I felt uncomfortable for him, but I did not show him how I felt. I carried on as if nothing happened. Still not comfortable with that! Maybe it’s because of my upbringing. And yes, I still have issues concerning sexuality.

P.P.S. We drove around looking for a place to eat as I didn’t want to sit in the dark. Well, we eventually settled on getting Pizza. We got home, Dude made a fire in our fireplace, and we had Pizza and Champagne! Yes, Champagne. That’s how I roll. We had a romantic dinner with a Dudie who was so happy about his swimming lesson he couldn’t stop talking about it.

A frog or Not…swimming lessons starting soon

So, tomorrow Dudie starts swimming lessons… <Dudie is the frog ‘cos he is as happy as a fish in water.>

Do I have a frog or not?

Yay, for the fact that I won’t have a mini heart attack everytime Dudie wants to play outside close to the pool but NAY on the price tag of Little Swimmers! Oh my Gloria, why should swimming nappies be so expensive? At home we just go “All Natural” but I don’t think that the Swimming Instructor/ other parents/ swimmers will appreciate the view…

My Dude seems to think that we can recycle the swimmer for at least 2 uses but Dudie pees in that swimmers as soon as I pull it up over his behind! Now, I refuse to recycle a swimmer let alone one that was pee’d in. Also, is it just me but is it only Huggies that are genius with swimmers?

Yesterday, we went in search of a swimming cap for Dudie. Mofo, what a mission. It doesn’t look like anyone stocks kiddie swimming caps anymore. Or I just missed them. After opening and fitting numerous caps, we eventually settled on one but I think that it’s not really made for him.

Ready to swim

With that we’re ready for tomorrow:

Swimming cap

Costume 

Little Swimmer (unused)

Towel

One very eager beaver

One very nervous mommy

Can you swim?

My Dude can swim. Me – well I’m water safe. Was thinking that maybe I’ll enroll myself too and hopefully they can do Stroke correction with me. My freestyle looks more like I’m drowning. HAHAHA. But at least I can float …

Spirited Mama

Today, I am deaf to the world ( I choose to be)

 

I stole borrowed this picture from justbetweencousins and thought that this is exactly how I feel today. I have no ears. Today, I am deaf to the world, including Dudie and Dude!  

Today, I choose NOT to hear anything

So Easter has come and gone and boy was it a busy jam packed four days. In South Africa, we celebrate Good Friday (it’s a public holiday), Easter Sunday and Easter Monday (another public holiday).  Did I mention that Dude had to work all weekend, including Good Friday and Easter Monday….

<Dude has an awesome super important job and if it wasn’t for him and the other employees most of you would not see your relatives or go on holiday breaks etc. <Dude works mostly over all the important holidays, e.g. Easter/ Christmas/school holidays. I’ll tell you more about how we take family holidays during school terms on another day. For now, it works as Dudie is not bound to school terms yet. So we get to gallivant whilst everyone else is working.>

So I left work early (11:30am) on Thursday to collect the Dudie and we headed off to the shops for a few groceries and some chocolate bunnies. All goes well until we get to the shop and Dudie knods off as I enter the parking lot. <He obviously did not have nap time at school as they finished early.> I decide to put him in his pram and dash through the shop as I only need 1 or 2 items. Blah Blah Blah. I’m a shopaholic and I cannot do 5 minutes in a shop. I need at least 30 minutes! So whilst Dudie was having a shit fit about wanting to watch “Happy Feet” – I think the shops are out to get me, why would you put on a fucking movie for all the kids to go ape shit about – I was tempted to ask the security guard to just watch Dudie, in his pram, whilst I go through the isles – I got my items. I stacked items below, on top and behind this child and when we got to the check out counter you should have seen the amazement of the shop assistant – I had quite a few items to unpack – and they were all neatly stored in my son’s pram. So we headed home where I carefully transferred sleeping child to bed and low and behold he managed to sleep a full 15 minutes. OMG! I took it in my stride and remained calm. I let him climb the burglar bars in the lounge whilst I made sandwiches. We watched Happy feet – we’ve watched the 1st and 2nd one a gazillion times – and ate sweets and had milkshake and happy times.  We also ate peanut butter straight from the jar with our special spoons.

I love spending time with Dudie.

BUT, I think I may have over done it – spending time with him. Right now, Dudie and I are sensitive towards each other. I need a time out. I now realise why some moms people have so much alcohol in their house!

Friday:                  Lunch with Friends

Saturday:             Farmer’s market and shops. And when Dude came home, we went to play games at the mall. We even went out for Dinner, with a very trying toddler.

Sunday:                Service of Light at Church (5:30am – Dudie woke at 5am and then I decided that we’re up so we might as well get going to church early)

Breakfast at church

Lunch at the Botanical Gardens

Monday:              We slept late – Dudie & I. Albeit Dudie interrupted my sleep from midnight. We got up at 9am. That’s sleeping late to me>

Easter egg hunt and lunch with my cousin and her family.   <I love how they love Dudie. How they soak him up.>

I have told Dude that I need a break. This child of mine drains me physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. I love him but right now I need a break. I don’t want to talk. I want to sit here, browse the internet, blog, read blogs and eat my lunch. It’s cold in Gauteng, but still sunny. I’m looking forward to tonight , Dude will be making a fire and I hopefully get to curl up with a glass of wine and my book whilst Dude takes care of Dudie. A girl can dream…

What did you get up too?

Spirited Mama

P.S. Hats off to single parents. Oh, and we thank God daily for his school in our prayers. He even says “tank you for school”

So you’re a boy and Mommy’s a girl

What makes me a girl and you a boy?

I’ve heard about it and quietly read the debates/discussions about when to talk to your child about s.e.x. When do they start noticing the difference between girls and boys. I have a 29 month old and Oh my Gloria he is inquisitive! My Dude seems to think that I shouldn’t be telling Dudie that Mommy has a vag.ina but I beg to differ.

<I think that’s why I have issues ‘cos when I was growing up it was all hush hush! Why can’t we just be honest and just call a vag.ina a vag.ina and so forth>

I’ve always walked out the shower naked. And Dudie is of the nature that he doesn’t even notice my wobbly a.s.s going pass him. He used to stare at my milk glands and all I use to say was ” Dudie that’s where you’re milk came from.”

Anyway, yesterday he asked ” what that Mommy?” I responded “my vag.ina.” Mommy is a girl and Dudie is a boy. And that was the end of it.

I don’t get why people fuss about gen.ital.ia. What’s the big deal?

Spirited Mama

P.S. This might be why I have issues. It was always hush hush when I grew up.

Do you tell your child the truth about girls vs boys?

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