Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

Tag: Family

Roundabouts

My life lately has felt like one big never ending roundabout. Somehow, I just felt out of sorts.

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But in all the events that have made me feel like I am stuck in a roundabout there has been some “memorable” moments too.

Does your life sometimes feel like a roundabout?

Yesterday I collect Dudie at school. I decide lets drive with ALL the windows open as there was a refreshing breeze. Well you had to drive slightly over the speed limit to enjoy that breeze. So we are homeward bound and Suddenly Dudie screams and I almost freaking stop in the middle of the road. Why did he scream as if someone was being murdered? Because the wind swept his school hat off his head and into the oncoming traffic.

Now, I have to calculate the risk of getting that school hat back, but that would mean I would have to run into oncoming traffic. Or I write off the hat and fork out another R130 for another school hat. School uniforms are crazy expensive. Why???

So I decide screw that let’s get that hat back. We make a u-turn at the next traffic light only to find the wind and traffic has now swept the hat back to the other side of the road. It’s 2pm traffic and people are crazy fast on this road. So we make a few u-turns because every time I get close to this hat it’s not in the spot where I last saw it. Also, I’m 28 weeks pregnant and need to take very calculated risks…so eventually I said screw this and park the bakkie on the island at the traffic light and jump out to pick up the hat. Hat recovered. Mom scores big time with the Dudie.

As if one roundabout isn’t enough…

Fast forward until Dude walks in the door looking all glum…why because he can’t find his wallet ANYWHERE. He called a friend at work to please check if it’s not there. Said friend is at the gym and will only be able to check in about 30 minutes or so. Oh and we live in Pretoria but he works in Johannesburg, so it’s not just quick drive back to work to check.

Now, I am writing exams on Friday and Dude and Dudie were supposed to collect the youngest dog, who got spayed cos we can’t deal with a newborn and puppies in 2017, but now he doesn’t have a single bank card or drivers license. So I say let’s move now cos I don’t want to be stuck in traffic and you know I need to study. With pregnant belly and all off we go.

Side note, I’m not sure if Dude gets a kick out of driving each and every vehicle we have until the reserve light comes on. I can’t comprehend this. Why? When we always have to be somewhere quickly we must first stop for petrol or diesel…..I digress

I stop for diesel. Then off to collect the dog at our trusted Vet, who is now closing his practice and immigrating. We have been with him for about 13 years. Where am I going to find such a great vet again. (On Wednesday evening After being discharged from hospital we quickly drop our dog at the vet. Receptionist is freaking out cos I had a weird look on my face as the resident alien just kicked my ribs and because I still wearing my hospital id band. She thought I was going into labour.) I settle the bill and we get the dog. Homeward bound.

On route Dude’s friend calls to say that he found his wallet and will keep it safe til the morning. As we get into the house, we (Dude) says there is enough leftovers for supper. I go try to study. I emerge from the room every now and then for some snacks or a drink. Then I announce I’m having a muffin and yoghurt for supper you guys need to sort yourselves out. The Dudie goes and checks the kitchen and very unamused announces, “Uh where’s the supper?”. Whilst checking the microwave and oven😂. Dudie settled on cream cheese and salticrax. Dude settled on fish.

I go back to study, Dudie brings two of his favorite stuffed toys to help me. Then asks “Are you like doing sums? Or those words that you can see or touch uhm like nouns or is it the ones that hold  a place?” I figured he was referring to pronouns. This kid thinks I am clever but he forgets that I too attended school once upon a time, or back in the olden days like he calls it.

I asked Dudie if he wanted to help put some oil on my growing tummy but oh boy, this kid used about 1/3 Of the bottle on my tummy. If you dropped me into a deep fryer you could fry up 1 kilogram of calamari for the amount of oil on my tummy.

So even though I feel like I’m in a bit of a roundabout, I still have so many memorable moments with my spirited family. They keep me grounded. And they sure keep me entertained.

Happy Friday.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I think my exam went way better than anticipated this morning. Granted I didn’t get much sleep but I am taking a siesta right after I post this.

Time-out

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We are off to the South Coast for a mini getaway. We NEED this. We NEED the time-out. We will be back on Monday – see how we just created our own long weekend in Spiritville.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

 

Benefits of a half day JOB

Yes, it is NOT all moonshine and roses but it does have ALOT of benefits. The biggest pitfall is you earn less than you normally would. (As an aside – my salary is actually NOT too bad compared to most full-time employees….)And you do a full days work in half the time. Nowhere has anyone ever said you will do half the work. EVER. You are supposed to be superhuman.

I am out of the office between 12:30 and 13:00 EVERYDAY! I do not compromise my time anymore. I get Dudie and do the usual school run with extra-mural activities, shopping, etc… We are generally home by 3pm with the exception on Fridays. Then we are home, if we didn’t have any errands, by 13:00 – 13:15.

Dudie doesn’t get homework on a Friday so by the time we get home that child is like a caged animal who has been set free. I allow him to watch TV/play his Playstation/just lounge around as he wishes. All whilst I too just plop onto my bed in my lazy state ‘cos come Friday I am beyond tired too.

So essentially a half day JOB means that I am there for all his activities. For all of his sporting fixtures – this kid plays cricket, golf, hockey, soccer and swims. Homework is done by latest 16:00 everyday. Dude gets the benefit of knowing that the family is sorted by the time he walks in the door, which is usually around 16:00. We actually have some good quality family time together. Dinner time is 18:00/18:30. Bath time is 19:00 and bed time is 19:30. And then the adults can have “time-off”.

I sent Dude this article, as I found that it was an interesting read. He agreed that the benefits of a half day JOB outranks the financial gain for a full-time salary.

BEING A STAY-AT-HOME PARENT IS A LUXURY … FOR YOUR SPOUSE

We have time for afternoon snacks, and Seattle Coffee stops whilst we go through the car wash. No more rushing like a headless chicken to get things done. And yes we eat together as a family EVERYDAY. In retrospect, our environment is alot more calmer than it used to be. And considering that our resident alien will be arriving in less than 15 weeks – well it’s definitely more beneficial to work half day.

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Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Try to stay cool as we are experiencing a HEAT WAVE in Pretoria. Even one of the dogs is feeling it… A refreshing night swim1477583964944

 

Mamma….you know I love you

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Image found at www.w-dog.net/wallpaper

Mamma, YOU abandoned our ship. (in case you missed it CANCER WON Mamma lost)

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Remember how excited you were to plan our September holiday? Remember how excited you were when I called with the news about the resident alien? Remember how excited you were when you decided we should go on a boat cruise to Namibia? And we were planning for 2017 because we had to wait for the resident alien to arrive? I remember the very first time we drove, me being the driver, on the N1 highway in Cape Town. I was the learner driver, you were the licensed driver – although you never drove. That was just the start of our many drives and adventures. Just the two of us. I miss those drives – which never really had a particular destination.

Then I moved to Pretoria. And we stayed in touch via the phone. Since 2015 you even started using whatsapp – I was so proud of you – keeping in touch with me and technology. You visited and often stayed for 3 months at a time. It wasn’t perfect but we loved you nonetheless. We argued/disagreed/fought but still remained true and loyal to one another. Nothing and no one could break our bond. Our droves continued in Pretoria.

Then started my morning peak hour drive conversations with you. Almost daily we spent an hour talking whilst I was in transit – don’t worry you were on “speaker phone”. When I changed my job to work 7kms from home that hour long conversation was still an hour –  only difference is I used to sit in the parking lot finishing my conversation with you. So many times I was late for work – not because of traffic but because I had to finish my conversation with you. And it was SO worth it. Our random ramblings, some things trivial and some so important and meaningful to us.

Our lives changed

Well things have changed. “Life happens when you are making other plans… John Lennon” My LIFE has changed. YOU are no longer here to physically share it with me or my family. We miss. I MISS you. Always! They say that grief gets better with time. I say it doesn’t. We just find ways to live and/or cope with the grief.

Who knew that our holiday in April 2016 would have been our last one together. That this was one of our last breakfasts together.breakfast

That week was so special. One week of just the two of us alone at night, once more sharing a bed. Much like the last week before you became an angel. Just the two of us. A game of Checkers we played – And YOU won. A game of Putt Putt we played in the afternoon rain. And then you chickened out of our night swim that you requested. Was it because you were scared I would see your lump?  Our last supper – your infamous roosterkoekdinner

We talked and laughed so much that night that we hardly slept. The boys came knocking on our door to wake us for breakfast the next day. Those memories are forever in my heart and soul.

The hardest thing in my life

Losing you was one of the hardest things that I have to deal with. You are forever etched in my heart, mind and soul. I am a part of you as much as you are a part of me. Your last message to me was cryptic. I still don’t understand but perhaps with time all will be revealed.

Thank you for what you have done for me. But also for what you have taught me. I will do that Namibian boat cruise for you. For us. 

Love and miss you ALWAYS!

L

Spirited Mama

P.S. I sometimes wonder now that you are an angel are you spending time with my resident alien?

 

Today is rough

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(Really can’t remember where I got this quote from but I’m sure you will find it on Google)

Today is rough. I am still raw with emotion but getting better. I actually didn’t realise how raw my emotional hurt for Mamma still was…. The hurt, the pain, the longing for Mamma is as fierce as my LOVE for Mamma. It’s only been 52 days since CANCER WON.

Yesterday was my birthday. It started as a great day and ended as a great day. In between is where I buckled…

We went out to dinner to our favourite Mimmos, funny how we have shared that place with Mamma too before. As we walked in there was an older lady with short grey hair wearing the exact same blue top that was indeed one of Mamma’s favourites. Well I cried for more than half the dinner. I even cried after she had left. I cried when I got home and I cried some more when I went to bed. Dude feels it was a sign that Mamma was there celebrating with us.

The hurt doesn’t get better with time. We only find ways to live and cope with it!

Spirited Mama

Miss you always Mamma!

Happiness vs my full time salary…

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Money is not everything BUT it sure does make everything a bit easier!

I am battling with a huge decision to go back to working half day. Working half day = half the salary

Now, this is not a new venture as I had this same debacle when I changed jobs in 2013… It was very beneficial to my family as Dudie got the best of his mom. Now here I sit at the crossroads again

The resident alien is due in February 2017. Of course I can justify taking the half day job to give the resident alien the best of me too. I am just scared shitless as I would again take half a salary. Only difference this time – I have another person to take care of. Yes my Dude is AMAZING. And happily supports our family but I have this huge chip on my shoulder called “Independence”!

In January this year, I started working full time again and boy oh boy did my extra salary come in handy…SHit we even acquired another property…

What kills me is that for me my family comes first. I have a flexible work environment but I do feel that I am doing the resident alien an injustice by working full time. In more ways than one, I have technically made my decision already but I just can’t help but worry about balance sheets and bank statements.

This morning I came across this post, Being a stay at home parent is a luxury, on Harassed Mom’s facebook page and people the lights went on! This describes how I have been feeling. How I am currently feeling. Why do I need to prove anything to anyone? I had my cushy fancy job at Wits Univeristy and I traded it for a half day job. I must admit I felt worthless. Some days I still feel as if I am wasting my talents in this job BUT if I look at what it means for my family the benefits outweigh the title

Why do I need to prove anything to anyone? I had my cushy fancy job at Wits Univeristy and I traded it for a half day job. I must admit I felt worthless. Some days I still feel as if I am wasting my talents in this job BUT if I look at what it means for my family the benefits outweigh the title any day!  I am there for every match, practise, knee scrape and concert! Dudie is sooo flabbergasted if I say I  won’t be able to come watch something that fo him it is incomprehensible…how can Mom NOT be there? I just can’t imagine having the crazy full-time job and 2 kids at home, homework, supper, bath time and hope and pray that the husband and I can squeeze in some “us” time too.

The resident alien is coming. I think I need to give him the best of me too. Who knows perhaps I can find alternative income sources soon. At this point, my brain is fried but I need to take stock and perhaps sit in a quiet spot somewhere and figure out what is out there/ what I can bring to the “proverbial” table in the world.

I have been doing some research and perhaps I am looking in all the wrong places. I found the workingmothersexpo. Think I need to get myself there to find some inspiration!

Why is it so hard to be a working mom???? Change is inevitable. CHANGE is coming! I am scared BUT I am excited!

Spirited Mama

Random update on Spiritville

We have been sick and STILL are sick. Spiritville is flu and bronchitis breeding grounds right now…I had no choice but to start a course of antibiotics myself, even though I would rather not considering our resident alien aka baby in utero….but rather safe than sorry.

CANCER SUCKS!!!! Mamma is getting weaker by the day…I literally almost burst into tears when I saw a photo that was taken of her this morning… She is NOT the same person I saw 2 weeks ago…She is also not the same person in the photos that were taken last week. How does one even begin to comprehend what is happening to her right now. I am running things through my mind and thinking should I go to Cape Town tomorrow or should I go next week or the next? I just don’t know!

Dudie and I are at war it seems…we are constantly fighting and just not seeing eye to eye. It really tiring and emotionally draining. He challenges everything I say or do. Why is the universe out to get me???

I have deadlines and work etc etc etc…but that is just life in general. Right now with everything going on it just feels TOO much and I really just want to break out into an ugly cry all the time…I worry about the resident alien because all these emotions can’t be good…

Sorry that I have nothing positive today but right now I just want to hide under my desk and have my ugly cries….

Spirited Mama

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Siblings – building solid lasting relationships

The thought of Dudie growing up alone has always haunted me and for a very long long long time I wrestled with the idea of having another child. Well 2016 was apparently the year that we decided was a good year to grow Spiritville. In case you were not aware, yes we have a resident alien aka baby, due in Feb 2017…

The idea of having another little person to take care and be my responsibility until the day that I leave this earth is causing some lots of anxiety. But the idea is growing on me and luckily at a much faster rate than my belly…We are excited and nervous and happy and scared all at the same time. There is no handbook to guide you to raise your perfect little angel. We can only hope and pray that what we are doing and teaching our kid(s) will be sufficient for them to become admirable, strong, focused, resilient young adults someday…

Another pressing thought that has been weighing me down is the age gap between Dudie and the resident alien…they will have a SEVEN year gap. Now, I have always said that I am not cut out for two babies and if I ever had another child I will not have them on top of one another. A seven year gaps does give me some sort of a paralysed feeling because doing the math I realised that we would have a teenager and a toddler in the house. When Dudie starts high school, grade 8, then the resident alien would start grade 1…

This morning I found an article on ALL4WOMEN, fostering a strong relationship between siblings. It resonated with me not only because I have a sibling and although we have a 9 year age gap, I’m the older one, but also because I don’t think my parents actively tried to foster a stronger relationship between us. We, my brother and I, are steadily working on our relationship currently. Perhaps my parents just thought that we were generations apart and that they were unsure of how to salvage the gap in our relationship… I am keeping my anxiety at bay and trying to be proactive to foster a relationship between Dudie and his unborn brother…Oh yes, IT’S A BOY!!!

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I will constantly try my best to ensure that MY TWO boys will know that they are blood brothers and no matter what nothing and no one can take that away from them. What they make of their relationship is up to them but for as long as what I am around I will encourage, love and support their relationship.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Mamma had a biopsy but now we wait with baited breath. We will only know what the plan of action/way forward is next week once all the doctors have decided…If you missed it then read the post When CANCER happens…My family fights back

You want what??????

So last night Dude throws me a HUGE curve ball!!!!!!

He would like another baby! No not a property or a new car BUT a BABY! I’m caught off guard.  I still am.  I have no reason to NOT have another baby other than I always thought since Dudie came along he would be my only child. I know that Dudie will LOVE the idea of a sibling but I’m just confused.

In fact I would like a cabriolet and I guess we can fit two car seats in the back but this is another person we are talking about. Another life to protect for as long as we both shall live! I like the idea of having another child but I’m just not so sure about the execution.

Dudie is 5 going on 15. And he in himself is 100 in 1 kids to manage.  I love him to bits but some days are just exhausting! How will I manage another child who needs to get into a routine and fit into our lifestyle.

My biggest fear is sharing myself between 2 kids….And juggling work and being in Spiritville and being a wife, a lover, a friend, a mom, a person…. Not sure how to juggle ALL those balls with a new baby in the mix.

The more I think about it, the more confused I become! It’s like a huge ape sitting on my shoulder pestering me to make a decision and quite frankly I don’t know which one to make.

This is how we currently sleep…Dudie starts off well in his own bed but 4 out of 7 night she sneaks into our bed….and well every so often I go and have my back re-aligned…professionally.

Where would a baby lie?

dudieSometimes Dude complains of his nightmares…it’s generally about falling off the bed but it is in fact no nightmare…it is real…Dudie will push me towards Dude’s side of the bed and so I push Dude to the edge. LOL

Decisions decisions decisions…

Cheers

Spirited Mama

P.S this was a random image that I found on my hard drive so I have no idea where it originated.  The persons in the picture couldn’t care less about credits they just NEED sleep. So let them.

P.P.S Did I mention that I’m now getting back into shape and Dudie wants me to grow a person..again!

Doctor Dentist dreams

So what does your offspring want to be when they grow up? Or should I ask what are your dreams for your offspring?

Dudie is 3 (Going on 16)turning 4 in October. He is obsessed with rocks/stones… This child collects rocks. He picks them up as he goes on his merry way and they generally end up in my bag/pockets or in Dude’s bakkie etc… But we have rocks from every place that child ha s been too. We sometimes keep the nice ones and sometimes chuck the normal ones into our garden. So we don’t really get rid of them but we redecorate the garden with them. We think he’ll do something in the lines of Archaeology/Geology, but we’ll see. He might just want to cash in on his trust fund… Note to self- start trust fund for Dudie!

Two weeks ago we had a family trip to the Dentist. Now, touch wood, to this very day I do not have a single filling in my mouth. I have all my own teeth. So I’m a happy camper thanks to a minimum of 2 annual trips for general checkups to the dentist all the days I spent under my parents roof. I wanted to preserve Dudie’s teeth and decided that a family trip was necessary. Dude is a bit reluctant a she always ends up making follow up appointments for a cavity/filling oor something…

The Dentist, I found a new one and I really think that we will stick with him for a while even though I have to pay them and then claim a refund from my medical aid – who short pays me R600 for our family trip!!!! Medical Aids suck – but then again I can’t imagine not having it either. The horror! I pay R5795 per month for the 3 of us. Every single month I die a little because quite frankly I could buy a new car/ second property/ have a holiday fund…. But then I console myself with the thought that we can utilise private facilities and that’s what I’m paying for… sigh…

I got the thumbs up from the Dentist. Dudie got a “well done Mom and Dad – this kids got no issues here”. Dude – had to make an appointment to redo a filling and fill a new tiny cavity. As we left – Dudie pipes up “Mamma, no sweets for Daddy” 🙂

Dudie has decided to be  a dentist when he grows up. He makes us sit on a little blue chair and he examines your mouth/teeth and then proceeds to brush/scratch/inspect with his tools (which is a makeup brush set- don’t fret it’s a spare one that is reserved for the dentist). On a different note, on Tuesday he told me he wants to be a doctor whilst we were lying on his bed having a bedtime chat. He then proceeded to stick a dolphin in my ear and a very hard plastic dolphin was lodged in  my right nostril too. I had to be very still so that the stuff would stay put during the exam else he had to re-insert it. And he is not very gentle. I prefer the Dentist child over the Doctor child…

Here’s to good teeth! Now get brushing. Dude says that I’ll brush my teeth away someday 🙂 I think 2minutes to brush is not enough time. I take more like 5 – 10 mins…

Spirited Mama

P.S. One of my best friend’s dad, he passed a way when we were only 7/8 yrs, used to tell me “Jy’s drie maar jou bek is sestien”!!! True story – whenever I see her mom she reminds me of this. Scary, how alike Dudie and I are… Even Dude says that we are so similar and that’s why we can get under each other’s skin…

P.P.S. Dudie gets a very limited amount of sweets. Even if he gets a small packet of sweets I remove half before he gets it. That way he think he finished all of it… Sneaky sneaky 🙂

 On Monday 1 April, we did a 5km fun walk/run at the Grove Mall in Lynnwood. We did it in 55 mins 🙂 Yay!!! we got our “A” into ‘G” and started. We are doing the next one on Saturday.

Tomorrow we’re doing the Mazda Athletics Club fun walk/run at 06:40am. Let’s see if we can improve the 55 mins….

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