Tag: living with intent

On April 18, 2018

Here is a round up of my series thus far:

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

Week 7 – Love YOURSELF

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Well, this certainly is NO easy task for me… Although it shouldn’t be as hard as I think it is. It just doesn’t come easily to me. I am all for receiving what you put out to the universe and I sincerely hope that if I have offended anyone in the past, present or future that they would be able to forgive me. But in that same breath, I wouldn’t hold it against you either if you can’t forgive me.

There is no hard and fast rule here. In my opinion, you should do what makes you happy and comfortable. If you forgive someone based on the fact that someone told you to, well that’s a recipe for disaster right there. It will creep up on you and it will probably cross your mind time and time again once you have a disagreement with the person in question.

When you forgive, you forgive with everything within you. You move on. You let go of whatever it was that was causing you grief. You are free from the effects causing you grief…Spirited Mama

Forgiveness is two fold

By forgiving someone you are not only taking away the power, that YOU bestowed upon them to have over you, but you are setting YOURSELF free. Free from the guilt, perhaps you feel you were to blame, free from hatred, ok maybe hatred is a strong word, free from begrudging others, free from judging others. Why hold YOURSELF prisoner in YOUR own life? More than often, the wrongdoer carries on living his/her life unbeknown to them that they have wronged you. And YOU? You live as a prisoner in your own life. Set yourself free. Take back your power! Use your energy wisely. Redirect your negative emotions to positivism.

#spiritedmamaquotes

I wish you all the patience in the world ‘cos I know how hard it is too forgive.

Do you forgive easily?

Spirited Mama

x

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 7 – Love Yourself

On March 13, 2018

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

Do you love yourself?

This is has never been an easy task, well not for me anyway. I have always battled to just love myself the way I am. I’m always trying to do better/be better/look better. I am happy with where I find myself in my life right now. Certain things can be improved but all in good time. Not everything is controllable. Sometimes we need to do what we need to do and believe and have faith that God will take care of the rest. To love yourself is accepting who you are. And it’s ok to not have it all figured out as yet. There are many opportunities to learn and grow as you go through life. You just need to be open to the idea(s) and willing to take on the opportunity when it arises. Of course I love myself but I tend to put the needs of others ahead of my own. It is not something I do consciously but rather it has become my second nature. It just happens…

Be open to ideas and take the opportunity

Are you on YOUR priority list?

It’s ok to be a little selfish here. You know the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup…” If you are not ok, how will you be able to help someone else? Believe it or not but if you don’t love yourself, how will you love someone else? You need to take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of others. More often than not, as a parent you take care of your kids needs first. (Well this is my #truth ) And as you work your way down your priority list you eventually get to yourself…Or do you? Are you even on YOUR priority list? I have been told that I have a very caring nature. I tend to “care” ALOT about others’ well-being but it seems in the process I forget to nurture my own well-being. I will go the extra mile to ensure that those on my priority list will be taken care of in whatever form, shape or size required but why don’t I just do the same for me…

Secure your oxygen mask first before you assist fellow passengers

Recently, Dudie and I have been butting heads over morning routines. This child will drop what he is busy with to help someone else. Now as much as I love that about it, it also grates me to no end as this is normally why we need to rush during school runs. I used the example airlines use in their safety videos, “You need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can assist fellow passengers.” Much to my delight, he immediately got the message and seems a little more focused these days. And then to my detriment, I also realised such is life too. I need to secure MY oxygen mask first!

This was by far one of the most difficult posts to write. It’s not that I don’t have the words. It’s that I don’t know how to put what is inside my head into a blogpost.

So do you love yourself?

Food for thought: Would you secure your oxygen mask first or someone else’s?

Spirited Mama

x

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 6 – Let it go

On February 26, 2018

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

If you read the previous lessons it’s almost a given that this lesson was coming either way. I have been tangled in a range of emotions the last two weeks and the lessons that have crept in was nothing knew. Perhaps it was God’s way of reminding me to do some introspection. Perhaps I needed to remind myself of my series. Perhaps I just needed a reality check. In the midst of trying to juggle life, Dude and I have had to make some serious life altering decisions. Yes, it was an emotional roller coaster which led to us being sleep deprived as we discussed the situation for hours on end, for 4 days straight. LET IT GO! I know it’s sounds easier than what it actually is but the truth is we complicate our lives, ourselves. Believe it or not, the choice is yours. It need not be complicated. Be technical and weigh up your pro’s and con’s and decide what the best decision is for YOU.

You don’t need to carry excess baggage

Much like when you are travelling on a flight and you have to pay for your excess baggage, the same can be said about life. You might not have to fork out the physical cash but you will pay in some way for carrying excess baggage through life. That payment could be the result of you not living up to your true potential/not seeing or being open to opportunities. Why? Because you are already overloaded and just physically/mentally/emotional cannot take on more than your current situation. Free up your baggage allowance. Let go of shit and make sure you have a few kilograms in your weight limit to spare.

My baggage

I consider my day to day life and a few short term goals my hand luggage/carry on luggage. I try and clear my carry on luggage as often as possible as this is most likely the most flexible baggage I have. It can change on a daily basis.

Long term goals and a few short to medium term goals is what I consider my precious 23-30kg checked baggage. You know the shit you sort of push to the back of your mind to deal with later, or the shit that you don’t necessarily want to deal with immediately so you park it in your long term memory. This will consume you. This will hinder your thought processes as well as your decision-making ability. With carrying baggage in life you sometimes lose the objectivity and neutrality that is often necessary to make a judgement call. Like me you may be slightly obsessed with another person’s decisions and rationale that your own judgement is clouded and you are sort of stuck on “how can Person X make such decisions?” You cannot possibly be objective if you are still questioning their motives. Again, LET IT GO!

Let go to move forward

Sometimes we need to let go of stuff to be able to move forward, to be able to take on what is intended for us. However hard the decision may be, sometimes we need to let go of whatever/whomever is not good for us. With that being said, I know from experience it’s not that easy to just let shit go. That shit will weigh you down. It will consume you. The more shit you pile on to your load, the more it will take over your existence.

Go live your life – Spirited Mama quotes

Food for thought on this cold Monday morning….

Spirited Mama

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52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 5 – Change is inevitable

On February 21, 2018

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If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

I apologise for being so behind on blogging but believe me I’ve had some difficult moments getting through my lessons whilst juggling hospital stays/family/work/life in general.

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Everything in life changes ALL the time. Sometimes we are oblivious to the changes that are happening right in front of us. Is it that we are too “blind” to see them or recognise them? Or are we so engulfed in life that we are simply too busy to notice? And before we know it we find ourselves in very different situations almost having some sort of epiphany about what just transpired. Why then when we know change is inevitable are we still so surprised when change occurs? Are we so complacent in our lives that we can’t possibly imagine things won’t always be a certain way? Or are we just living with the hope that the phase shall never pass?

Embrace the changes that life brings you

For I know the plans I have for you

The sooner you accept that there are things you cannot control the better. Rather embrace the changes that life brings you. Instead of freaking out that things have changed and are not what you are used to, go with it. Things might turn out to be better than before. It could even be the best thing that could have happened to you. How will you know if you don’t try? Some of the best things in my life have happened when I let God take control and I sat back and embraced the changes. Yet I do forget that I should let God be in control. I too am guilty of wanting to control my life and what happens.

Change is scary

Yes, change is scary. But instead of fearing the actual event/situation it is more the fear of change that cripples us. The fear of the unknown. How will I manage xyz? How will I know what to do? We are stronger and way more resilient than what we give ourselves credit for. Take the chance and enjoy the change. It may be just what you need. Because you know the Lord already has plans worked out for each and everyone of us. As people, we complicate matters by trying to do someone else’s work, re: God’s work. All we need to do is follow our path and do what we need to do. This is a tricky situation as it is not as clear as daylight what exactly those paths are. But you have got to have faith and trust your gut/heart that you will make the best decision when required to.

Embracing change whilst change is occurring

Need I remind you that life happens in between. 2018 is only just starting to feel like a new year but we have already juggled 6 nights in hospital when Troll contracted the Adenovirus/dealt with copious amounts of homework/extra-murals and sporting fixtures for Dudie. Instead of having a rigid system, try to be flexible to a degree. You will never only have one change to deal with. It comes when you least expect it and most likely when you feel that you cannot possibly change your current situation for whatever reason. I am teaching myself to embrace the changes. It’s not easy but it sure is rewarding. You may not always be able to see the silver lining in a situation but believe me there is one. We just need to look a little harder/deeper than what meets the eye….

If you remember only one thing from this post, let it be this:

Remember this quote by Spirited Mama

How do you deal with change? Do you embrace it?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

On January 25, 2018

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

This week’s lesson is as old as time but how many of us actually live by it? I was raised in the same house as my brother but we are in fact almost a decade apart, and definitely raised differently and in different times/worlds. Growing up we always had what we needed and/or wanted. We were blessed and fortunate. BUT where we lack is that emphasis was placed on possessions rather than people. Many would describe us as “being well off” but I didn’t see or think of it that way. As an adult, I see where these perceptions stem from. Now that I am a parent, my husband, aka Dude, and I have very different parenting styles to that of our parents. We are trying to place the emphasis on PEOPLE rather than possessions. And I sincerely hope that my boys, aka Dudie and Troll, will learn that valuable lesson.

People vs Possessions

People come and go in our lives. It’s is the circle of life. Possessions on the other hand is merely a bunch of materialistic goods that you have acquired in your life, whether you have worked for it, earned it or perhaps inherited it. How do you place so much value on material things that exist in a temporary world? Your focus should be on the people in your life. Those people who share your life’s journey. Those very same people who encourage you to be the best version of you. Most of us have encountered a saying “some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. #truth Some people teach us for an entire lifetime, some teach us for a short while and others…well some we need to let go of… My wish is that we find the reason or purpose and enjoy the person who is part of YOUR life. This is easier said than done but at least enjoy the friendship no matter what the lifespan may be.

Choose the “right” people for you

Not all people in your life is on your side, or in your corner. You will encounter people that are out to get you, that don’t wish anything good for you, and some are just plain mean and jealous of you. Don’t let that cramp your style. Move on and move forward. Some people are only there for a short period but can have the most profound effect on your life. Appreciate the people. Appreciate the lesson you gain from dealing with people. You may not always know why certain people cross your path but in due time all will be revealed.

What do you treasure? People vs Possessions? Be honest with yourself…

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 3 – Be YOU

On January 18, 2018

Hopefully by now you are aware of my series, 52 lessons for 52 weeks. If not, for Week 1 click here and Week 2 click here

Week 3: Thursday 18 January

Today as we celebrated the fact that we were blessed to open our eyes to a beautiful day, we also celebrated the Dudie starting Gr 3. How even did we get to this point in our lives SO quickly. It feels like yesterday that I looked a pregnancy test with two pink lines on it! We stood at line up watching the excitement, anxiety, joy, laughter and some tears being shared. I suspect the tears were all from newbie scholars. Then my eye caught Dudie, who happily walked right up to the front of the line and patiently waited for his name to be called. The lesson for week 3: Be YOU! The confidence Dudie exuded was beyond me. From the first day at school, he has always just been himself and found “his” space. This is a character trait that I would like to think he gets from his Mom 🙂 *pats myself on the back*

Be YOU

This week lesson is not only for myself but also for my kids. Be YOU! you can only be YOU. Don’t try to be like others. Don’t compromise yourself or your happiness. Once you know how to be you, you will in turn be good to others. If you are happy, you will spread your happy.

All around us we see too many people wanting to be like others. Compromising their lives, livelihood and happiness. Here’s a quote to live by:

You were born to STAND OUT!

I get that there are times where sacrifices are made for the greater good. Let’s not be stubborn or hard arsed. But believe me when I say, trust your gut. If you truly feel unhappy, unsure of something make sure YOU are happy with YOUR decision first. You will never please everyone, neither will you ever keep everyone happy. Ensure that YOU live your life. YOU make YOUR decisions. And be happy with YOUR decisions. Remember that every decision will have a consequence and sometimes repercussions. Make sure that YOU are happy with it!

Now let us get on our merry way and go sprinkle some happy!

Follow my journey in my 52 lessons for 52 weeks and discover with me, uncover with me, and grow with me. I’m petrified as to what I am opening myself up to BUT how else will I learn and grow if I don’t challenge myself to do greater things.

Are you YOU?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 2 – Be an example…

On January 15, 2018

This post is a little late but I’ve been having some technical difficulties and we were away from home for a few days. We squeezed in a quick trip to Cape Town just before Dudie starts school again. More about that in another post on another day.

Week 2: Be an Example

You may know about my journey of 52 lessons for 52 weeks. If not click here for week 1, which is also my introductory post. Week 2: Be an example focused on what example I am setting for my boys. The type of person I am, my character traits. The way I react to situations. The way I handle a melt down. As a parent it is not easy to ALWAYS keep your “cool” BUT you know those little eyes and ears are watching and listening to your every move. Parenting my boys is way more intense than any pressured job I’ve ever done! Be an example…how many times have you heard that? We all know it but do we really live it? I certainly don’t. I try but I falter an fall along the way side often. Here’s an example, Dudie is 8 years old and knows NOT to swear or cuss. As his parents we swear/cuss but we try not to especially in front of the kids. Dudie knows which words NOT to repeat. *High five to us* Now steps in Troll, aka the baby, who will be 1 year old in less than 10 days! Troll is at the mimicking and copying stage and we’ve noticed that he hangs on every word we say, and watches every move we make. He wants to copy us. Now we have picked up that Troll is mouthing the “F” sound…yes that’s right the “F” sound. Not to repeat words like “food, fruit, fun, face, etc” BUT the word he wants to copy is FUCK! Holy moly, we need to watch ourselves!!! We tend to let loose when Dudie is not around but forget we have a baby who is watching and listening.

Learning lessons the hard way

For me to teach myself some lessons, I’m digging into emotions buried way below my inner core…It’s hard, it’s scary but I know I need to do it to better myself. I’m doing it so that my boys will grow up to be brave enough to face their emotions instead of burying things and moving on and rather face whatever situation head on and deal with it right then and there. Case in point, my parents. We don’t get along. We are civil but we don’t get along. We are just way to different. We can be in the same company and not speak for the entire time and I would be fine with that. I don’t know how they feel about it but they are certainly not doing anything about it. I have moved on. Some hard decisions were made for me to be able to live my life. Yes they are the boys’ grandparents and we visit with them when we are in Cape Town but I’m sure as hell not going to break my neck trying to just fit them in to our lives. Some people just don’t work for you, so what would make your parents any different? I know I am raising kids and they might turn around and tell me that I don’t work for them but that is the chance I’m willing to take. A chance to give my boys an unconditional love, a life filled with family – because hey we have lots of other family who loves us and wants to spend time with us. A sincere upbringing to see what love actually is – it’s a feeling, an emotion that overpowers all other emotions!

Putting my lessons out in the universe for 2018

Some might say it’s karma or murphy’s law but since I put out my 52 lessons for 52 weeks I’m really being tested on these lessons. These lessons are not unique to me, I’m sure of it! Neither are they “NEW” lessons. I’m sure most people will find some, most or maybe all lessons something they can relate to. This series is suppose to be a learning experiment for me and hopefully I can find some humor in them and not always be so serious…I find that being an example is huge. I’m raising kids who I hope will someday grow into beautiful, respectful, humble young men. Men who will know how to treat others but not let others take advantage of them. I see them watching their Dad, aka Dude, all the time. I see them watching how he treats me and by golly if they take with them only a quarter of what their Dad is indirectly teaching them, they WILL know how to treat a woman like a queen!

I am not a confrontational person but I have been facing confrontation so often I feel like it may very well be part of my routine. So I’m pulling up my socks and showing my boys how to handle confrontation. Stand your ground. Don’t be a dumb ass. Listen and decipher the information but ultimately deal with the situation right then and there!

Let me continue to Be an example….we are having a pj day 🙂

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks

On January 4, 2018