Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Month: September 2012 (Page 1 of 2)

Random thoughts. Heart, Mind & Soul

I was never one to have very very close relationships with anyone now that I think about it. I had a select few that I really connected with but alas I admit that “life happened” and we have some how lost touch… It’s sad really. Everyone needs a person. And as life progressed I moved through it so fast that I forgot to stop and connect with my person. My person moved away to another country almost 2 years ago…. I miss her terribly…. And I hope that sometime soon I’ll be able to pay her a surprise visit…

I’ve done some digging in my heart, mind & soul and I’ve realised that the disconnect from family life might also be why I disconnect from friends… I’m the person that would walk up to you and just talk you because I felt like, thought you were interesting, or just whatever. I’ve been classified as a “people’sĀ person” but I think it’s more me wanting to please everyone that makes me seem like a people’s person. Dudie has this same personality of just talking to random strangers šŸ™‚ As much as I enjoy him being a sociable child, I’m unsure how to clarify “stranger danger“. You lead by example and if Mom is talking to strangers why can’t he. Oi, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

The crux of the matter is “how can I teach my child to value his friendships or family relationships” when I am not valuing/nurturingĀ mine? I would love to say that it is not intentional but I’m confused and to a degree I think that I am intentionally NOT nurturing relationships. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s that I think I don’t have the time. And that it’ll all work itself out. Much like I think/hope/pray that my marriage works with minimal effort from my side. Bad attitude – I know. Work in progress.Ā  This might be the actual reason why I smother Dudie šŸ™‚

Enough of my thoughts. I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair, still on of my all time favourites… Click here if you haven’t heard it before or even if you need a feel good song for Friday

P.S. Did I mention that Dudie is learning sign language? It’s an added extra from the school, thanks. My child conversed with me in sign language at 6am this morning…. Needless to say that I need to brush up on my signing… Oh, and he also seems to know some Sotho/Portuguese and French… Class mates, we guess…

If only…..

Have you watched the movie If Only ?I have, several times and I ball my eyes out EVERYTIME! What gets to me is that death is inevitable… At some point, we’re all going to leave this earth. I’m relatively ok with that but the problem/fear that I battle with is the “how” you going to exit this world. Now I realise that this is beyond our control and there is no use in fussing over it but I still have this gnawing feeling about it. My grandfather and I had many many discussions about it. He passed away very peacefully in his sleep in 1997… And I still miss him dearly. I can still hear his voice and I can still see his smile….

This morning, I had a brief yet pulling-my-heart-strings conversation with one of my Aunts., on my Mom’s side of the family. My Mom is one of six children, 5 girls and the youngest a son. She is the second born. Now, both my mom and the eldest daughter, I don’t really have much of a bond with but the other three daughters (my Aunts) – well let’s just say that when you see usĀ together you will know that we are family. Aunt T is so excited ‘cos her eldest and only daughter is getting married in April 2013. They are going dress shopping. And basically, she can’t wait for her own grankids. She treats DudieĀ like he’s her grandchild. Love her for that. Well, now that I think about it, allĀ three Aunts treat Dudie like he’s their grandchild. Love you all.

I mentioned to her how I’ve always envied the relationship she had with her daughter. And then she reiterated that I have and always will hold a special place in her heart. (Total snotty cry moment on the train and I forgot my sunglasses in the car) Fact of the matter is that she makes no secret of it that “HER KIDS, all 3 of them, are her LIFE” and I relateĀ ‘cos that’s just how I feel about Dudie. What gets to me though is that thatĀ iĀ snot the message that I got from my Mom. We have a touch and go relationship. The entire family knows the situation. I’m not angry or upset…. I’m disappointed. How do you not want to ensure that your child knows that he/she is loved, protected, cared for, etc.

I miss my family. We don’t see each other often. We live in Pretoria. They live in Cape Town. Solution would be to move to Cape Town but that brings on a whole other can of worms…. As Dude stated earlier this week, we’re just settling in to GP now, after we’ve been here for 10 and 9 yrs respectively…

This brings me to my dilemma that I’ve been facing for almost 4 yrs years now(I’m including my pregnancy) – How to balance everything. Being a successful career woman and having a happy fulfilling family life.

NB! This is MY opinion.

Something’s gotta give. You can not do both. At some stage one or the other will take a back seat. Even if it’s temporary. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all make our choices. And we really don’t need to justify them to anyone. It is YOUR choice afterall.

Since I knew I was to become a mother, I did some serious soul searching. Dude was of the notion that I stay at homeĀ with baby until he goes to school(roughly 7yrs). Now, as much as I enjoy my home time with Dudie, I am NOT stay at home mom material (SAHM). I will lose my shit! I enjoy working and interacting with my colleagues. I need to feel likeĀ I’m making a difference and that I’m worth something. Hats off to all SAHMĀ but it’s just not me. But, I don’t think that I need to spend 8 hours a day away from my DudieĀ either. I was of the notion that DudieĀ will need me more when he starts “big” school. So I’ll have to work my way to a more flexi/part time JOB later.

Well, this thought has been hovering again. As DudieĀ approaches 3yrs, I’m more inclined to look at alternate options of employment. I have no idea where to start looking? Or what I’m looking for? But I do know that currently, I’m too attached too my salary…. The thought of giving up my financial independence scares the hibbygeebees out of me! So if anyone has any ideas on how I can free up some time, please feel free to share…

So, I’m playing the lotto this weekend. I just might have a blog post next week that’ll blow you away.

Happy Friday

Spirited Mama


So after all our gallivanting…. and after a lovely Heritage Day in South Africa, it’s back to grindstone.

I’m hungry for more. More sun, fun, laughter, holidays…. So instead of doing my ‘WORK” I’m browsing the net for suitable holidays šŸ™‚

On Monday, DudieĀ will be 3!!! This morning we came up with our plan of action for his birthday celebrations. On Sunday, we will have a few people over for lunch. My friend’s daughter will be making a cake. I will post a picture next week. All I can say is that the baker is 11yrs and she’s into the “Cake Boss” big time. Hopefully the weather is good and we can put out the jumping castle and maybe brave our first swim for Spring????

On Monday, we will do mini cupcakes and treats at school as the Dudie has been asking about a party at school for a while now. I’m trying to get leave for the day. Plan is to spend the morning with him and then I have to STUDY!

On Monday evening, we’ll brave our Spur and watch how the Dudie soaks up the limelight when they sing for him. My big boy is turning 3.Ā 

In other news, Dudie asked whether he could have a brother and a sister for his birthday????? OMG! Did my child not get the memo that he was going to be an only child?

Happy 4 day week folks. I can’t wait for the celebrations to start.

P.S. Last year the night before, I hung banners and decorated my lounge with balloons and name boards, pop up posters and more. Much to the Dudie’sĀ delight when he woke on his special day. This year I plan to do the same. And we are so having cupcakes for breakfast again….Think I’ll do home-made red velvet cupcakes(this will be my first attempt)

P.P.S I’m putting together a gift list for DudieĀ and I’m battling a bit. I’m more for educational toys than anything else. But it seems my child has other ideas… Any suggestions welcome. I mean seriously, how much Legos can one child have? Or trucks and diggers!!! If anyone knows anyone that I can arrange a site visist and a ride in a truck, please let me know. That could possibly be teh best gift ever – Taking him to see trucks, cranes, diggers….

P.P.P.S My exams are fast approaching and I need to get my A into Gear and figure out a study roster!!!!

Weā€™re looking for George?

DudieĀ insists that it is called Jordan. And even if rectified two seconds later he refers to Jordan. We let it be. Whilst Dude went to park the car, DudieĀ and I made our way to the check in counters. They weighed our bag. Please note that we use one bag for the 3 of us as the pack horseĀ aka Dude says that he canā€™t manage multiple bags and and and ā€¦ The bag weighed 29kgā€™s. The guy just looked at me and asked me what my intention was with the car seat. I said that I was going to carry it to the plane but if he needs to check it in then so be it. He said that itā€™s best he does then he can justify the weight for 2 piecesā€¦ LOL. Thanks, guy for making a plan.

We left a rainy Johannesburg on Saturday morning only to arrive to perfect blue sunny warm skies in George 1 hour 30 mins laterā€¦ The trip was rather uneventful, well it was because we had no major tantrums or DudieĀ trying to destroy the plane as usual. We did have a toilet run and OMG this lavatory was even smaller than usual. Iā€™m not kidding. I couldnā€™t turn in there. DudieĀ sat on toilet and I almost fell out the door. Seriously, how do they expect you to do a nappy change in there when I canā€™t even assist my 2 almost 3 yr old in there. And I donā€™t think you want me to leave the door open either ā€˜cos all youā€™ll hear is the exhilarated shrieks of Dudie ā€œlook Mama, I made a big one!ā€

So we arrived an hour earlier for our rental pick up but my Dude flashed his pearlys and of course most women die at the sight of his dimples(yes, Iā€™m being biased but Iā€™m allowed to cos his MY Dude) and in no time we had a car šŸ™‚

We set off and took whichever turn we felt like. If someone said left, Dude would turn left. Even if it wasnā€™t one of us in the carā€¦. I suspect my Dude also hears little voicesā€¦ But our first stop was Heroldā€™s Bay.

We had ice-cream and we ran and ran and just enjoyed the beach. We found the most private unspoilt beaches on this adventure of ours. We found quaint little towns. Friendly locals and the most delicious seafood.

Dude found a proper butcher to buy some meat as he wanted to braai. I did mention that we were staying at a Hotel of some sorts and we might not have self catering facilities or braai areasā€¦ Being in the Wilderness and all the area is protectedā€¦

He bought loads of meat. We checked in and then realised Fck, so where do we braaiĀ or even store the meat and hopefully find a picnic spot the next day. We spoke to reception and they advised that we try the Backpackers lodge down the road. The only catch was that you need to support their barĀ šŸ™‚ Ā Well, we headed straight there. On route we found this little fella


The peeps at Fairy Knowe Backpackers Lodge welcomed us. Them and all their dogs, they have a few and different breeds. Staffies, bull terriers, a lab etcā€¦ We love animals, all three of us so it was no surprise when these dogs wanted to spend time with us too. We braaied. Dude had some beer and I had Savanna, Dudie had coke. <It was a holiday for everyone so the child was allowed fizzy drinks.>

They had swings and I even braved the tyre swing much to Dudieā€™s delight. For the 3 days we did nothing but behave like tourists. We soaked up the sun, enjoyed the beaches, drove around because Dudie was having a nap, and just took in the scenery.

Dude was in his element as he got to fish in the Ocean and off the jetty. We saw a whaleā€™s tale and loads of Dolphins at Victoria Bay. If ever you go past Victoria bay, go visit the ā€œShell Shopā€. Itā€™s small but filled with magical treasures.

We even found bubbles there. Dudie and I blew bubbles on the beach (Iā€™ve wanted to do that before but we always end up at the beach sans bubbles) what fun we had. Would you believe me if I told you that the restaurant only had 2 beers left on Monday afternoonā€¦. True Story ā€“ There was a party of some sort over the weekend and they were awaiting their delivery when we sat down for lunch.

Our departure was scheduled for 17:50 on Monday afternoon. I only realised that this was the last flight for George when we arrived at check in. Now, it seems that in a small town where everyone is relaxed, the airport gets locked up. We arrived earlier as we were on standby. We checked in without any hassles. I donā€™t even know if anyone checked the weight of our bagā€¦ We boarded at 17:20 and by 17:30 the cabin crew were arming the doors!!! Thatā€™s when I realised that in this town you canā€™t be late for your flight. They will leave you behind! You will NOT put them under duress. We were taking off at 17:40 on a scheduled flight that was due to depart at 17:50. Great. Thanks, I appreciate the fact that we got home slightly earlier. I just donā€™t think thatā€™ll go down well at OR Tambo International. With all the passengers, me included, trying to kill the person at the check in counterā€¦.ā€™cos the flight left earlyā€¦.

With our departure we left the rain behind in Johannesburg and upon our return we left some clouds behind in George. We had great weather. Thank U God for our glorious time away and for our safe return

Thank you George/Wilderness/Knysna you will be missed. This was the start to frequent getawaysā€¦. We left our footprints there

*PG* Germs were killed!

I received a delivery at work last week and I knew exactly where it was coming from. What was in the box was a mysteryā€¦.

The kind people over at Dettol sent me a gift. *smile* Oh who am I kidding, I was over the moon just to receive a parcel.

<Even if you send me a box filled with nothing but bubblewrap Iā€™ll still be excited šŸ™‚ >


They have asked me to review their Daily Care soap. Now, I donā€™t generally use soap. Heck, Iā€™m embarrassed as whenever we receive guests, I have to dash to the shops to go buy whatever soap is available (read: on special as the guests are not likely to finish it then I end up throwing it out). I donā€™t keep soap in the house.

Both DudieĀ and I have sensitive skins and Iā€™m extremely careful when choosing body products. The Dude is easy going. So, in preparation for our mini getaway, I decided to pack some Dettol soap and travel sans body wash/shower gelsā€¦

This is our experience:

SpiritedmamaĀ ā€“ Itā€™s a win winĀ situation. It doesnā€™t dry out my skin and I definitely donā€™t have that tight feeling afterwards. My skin felt softer. I forgot to pack my face wash and braved it with the Dettol soap on my face (I know youā€™re not suppose to use soap on your face but hey I needed to wash my face) my skin was fine. I also liked the soft fragrance, just enough not to irritate my sinusitis.

DudieĀ ā€“ His skin felt soft and I do think that it helped with eczema that he has behind his knee. See this child of my also suffers with eczema. Looking at his eczema this morning I wonder if this Dettol soap is aiding with healing this eczema???? I did notice that he had fewer dry patches on his body.

Dude ā€“ He loves it! At the breakfast table on Monday, he pipes up ā€œI smell so cleanā€. Well, I think so too. Itā€™s a fresh smell rather than a soapy smell.

I would definitely recommend Dettol Daily Soap to anyone. Itā€™s easy to pack too. Rather than having a bottle of some body wash expand in flight and explode in your face as you open it after youā€™ve landedā€¦. (This has happened. Please do not try this at home. Itā€™s dangerous).

P.S. Thanks for my fluffy gown too. And the boxing gloves are a ā€œhitā€ with Dudie.

This too shall pass…………………..

I hope it passes quickly. At least I’m seeing the humour again. So slowly but surely I’m coming back….

I am keeping my head above water. I’m dreaming of our mini getaway this weekend all whilst I’m running my “To Do” List in my head. My list is freaking me out. And I need to submit an assignment on Monday too. I’m hoping to submit before we leave so that I can have worry/stress free break. I have reports/list/memos/etc that IĀ need to get done and here I’m blogging. I’m blogging about being swampedĀ when in fact I shouldĀ reallyĀ just put my head down and get on with it.

LooksĀ like I’m pulling an all nighter tonight. And possibly Friday!!!!

In other news my frog, aka Dudie, has advanced to level 3 at his Swimming school. We’re so proud of theĀ frog.

We going to the Oktoberfest onĀ Friday night. Yay! This will be our first as everyĀ year we say we’re going but never go.

Saturday morning we fly out to George. I’m dreaming of sitting at the beach, having seafood and an ice-cold savanna. Savanna goes down well with Seafood šŸ™‚

On that note, I bid you farewell.Ā Donations of positive energy will be much appreciated.

Spirited Mama

Fragile. Beware

My mind is screwing me again…. All those little voices….. All those ideas on how to fix a problem….

I’m trying a new approach. “The road less travelled” in Spiritville. I somehow end up making the same mistakes, then want to beat myself up for not seeing the signs, but then I end up sulking and I desperately try and claw my way out of the hole.

Same shit. Different Day. Same cycle???? WTF? Why? How? Am I just not wired properly?

I know that it’s going to be hard. I know that it’s going to be ugly but I’m hoping that the reward will outweigh all the hardships/obstacles on the journey….

P.S. I can feel an ugly cry coming so I’m signing off for now.

I’m here but my mind is NOT….

Who’s eating who?

Recently, I have read a few blogs that I found rather disturbing. Some people were thrashing bloggers. Some were feeling sorry for themselves (re: I’m currently in that groove too) and some were just not there optimistic selfs….

Why do we seek approval from others? We are our own worst enemies. Society dictates what a real:

1. Mom is

2. Wife is

3. Friend

4. Blogger

Etc etc etc…. My list is endless. When I only have one point toĀ make, “I can only do my best!” It might not be ideal or conform to the “norms” of society but it’s what I can give. If you like me, then like me. If you don’t then so be it.

So as I sit here and try and pull myself towards myself, I say keep your head high! You matter to someone! Smile and breathe…..

Amazing Race Cape Town

And so our time had runneth out in Cape Town…. We needed to return our rental car by 13:00 and our flights were at 15:50. All in all, that meant that we could check in early and have lunch with my brother, his fiancĆ©e and their daughter.

So we said our goodbyes to the family and took to the road. We realised that we were slightly behind schedule, as we still needed to detour to Kuilsriver to say goodbye to some family and collect the fish that Dude had bought for us to bring home!

We got to KuilsriverĀ at 12:30 ish. Our rental car was a 1.4 and I’m pretty sure that that car has never ever been driven that fast! LMAO. Ok, we were slightly over the speed limit at times. But we had else we would be late for everything!

We got the fish, said goodbye and off we went. DudieĀ threw a bit of a tantrum as he did not get to say goodbye the way that he wanted too. So I took a picture of him doing it the way he wanted to and sent it to the family. Child happy = PARENTSĀ  who can now concentrate on getting to the airport. We realised that we needed to top up with fuel ‘cos the rental company will bill you if you don’t bring back a full tank. The only garage in sight was backed up with cars, fck knows why,Ā ‘cos the fuel increase was only due laterĀ in the week. <thanks, Murphy!=””> We decided that we’ll check for a garage at the airport.

Of course we took the wrong offrampĀ and drove through the industriaĀ and then realised that the garage is only accessible upon exiting the airport. We drove around the traffic circle as if exiting and backed up into the garage. Yes, we checked that all was clear and then reversed to the Garage. WeĀ filled up and thenĀ headed to return the car. Only that we went to the wrong office, as we went to collections not returns. WeĀ got to the returns office at 13:15. Phew. They did a check and let’s just say that we did not mention that we kinda hit the curb when we backed up into the garage. All was well, we loaded our bags and ran to teh terminal building. We siad goodbye to our friends, and returned their car seat in one piece.Ā Thank you my child for behaving yourself.

We then got checked in. In the mad rush,Ā my Dude checked both bags in, one wasĀ not locked and ourĀ houseĀ keys and car keys were in there. Never mind my hairdryer, our takkies, nice jackets, etc. My heart sank as I thought, Fck, they’ll have plenty of time to go through that bag as the flight only departs in a few hours!!!!

I decided that we’ll deal with whatever happens when we are back home. We found my brother and his sweet family. We had a lovely lunch and spent some quality time with them.

They walked with us to theĀ security check and waved us goodbye… We hope to see them soon.Ā As we boarded the plane I realised that DudieĀ was turningĀ into the overstimulated overtiredĀ monster, as he had not slept a winkĀ for theĀ day. As we took off, he was bouncing around in his seat and withinĀ 2minutesĀ flat he was snoring. He slept through the entire flight and within minutes ofĀ us landing he woke up and said, I don’t wanna bath!

The kind air hostess left him a cheese rollĀ and bottle of water for when he woke. Boy was this child hungry when he woke up. He devoured his roll. We got our bags in the terminal building and with all the anxietyĀ I had to remindĀ my Dude that we can move to the side and thenĀ heĀ can openĀ the bag. I really did not want random people looking at my underwear that couldĀ very well have shifted during landing!Ā With baited breath he opened the bag and all our belongings, including keys, were there.

Dear Airline staff, I apologise for the lackĀ of trust I haveĀ in you. You haveĀ a new found respect with me. Thank you

WeĀ caught the bus to the long termĀ parking and jump in our car an headed home. WeĀ unpacked and even did theĀ washing and bathed the Dudie and sorted everything for Monday in a flash.

So that was our Amazing race in Cape Town.

Hopefully we’ll see you soon…

P.S. We left the seaweed in the trolley when we checked our bags in. Wonder what they thought when they found it….

P.P.S. We are off to George next weekend……Yay!

P.P.P.S This was the first Cape Town trip we did without staying with family. And I loved it. I know that alot of family is very pissed off about that but hey, get over it. This trip was about US not You!


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