(Image from Getty images…)
So on Wednesday Dudie jumps in the car after soccer practise and announces that his big tooth, central incisor (did you know that it actually had a real name), is loose. I inspect, now bare in mind that teeth pulling is not my thing. I will wipe your arse and clean up after you. Hell I will even clean up blood spills and wounds BUT DO NOT ASK ME TO PULL YOUR TOOTH. It freaks me out! Just the thought of it gives me the hibbejeebees… That is Dude’s job. So I say don’t worry you can ask Dad later to pull it for you.
Fast forward all other extra mural activities and this is how it went down at home…I say can you guys not pull that tooth before we have supper then that way Dudie can eat properly without having to worry about this loose tooth…So Dude and Dudie go off to the bathroom, with Dudie yelling Come on Mom come see…
No thank you Mom is happily setting the table for dinner. I hear the moaning and arguing because now the tooth seems to be tight and slipping and now they are looking for a pliers. I STAY AWAY! Next minute Dude comes out of the bathroom, looking like a surgeon who just completed a 12hour surgery and Dudie comes racing to the table, blood dripping from his mouth I kid you not, but so ecstatic that his tooth is out. I am just elated that shit is over and I did not have to witness any of it. Oh my greatness, I am beyond scared that if anything happens to Dude what the fuck am I going to do??? And the resident alien will also have to go through this process. I am not scared of a dentist, not at all. In fact I have very good teeth. Up to today, I still have my own teeth and NO fillings whatsoever. I will religiously brush my teeth, to point where Dude has told me I am going to brush the enamel off.
During our dinner conversation, Dude says wow that tooth is so big maybe the tooth fairy will bring you R50. I choked a little but thought, Fuck am I glad it’s not my turn to be the tooth fairy! Later I say to Dude, don’t you think it’s a bit much? But he feels the kid deserved a royal treat. Then I say, well does the tooth fairy even have cash? Now, please note that I never carry cash, like never. The money that you do find in my possession is probably just the daily aftercare fee that I have to withdraw else my kid and teachers get confused about when he has casual aftercare days…(Tried paying upfront but they fucked up my system so now I withdraw the exact amount and ensure that I have the exact denominations per day for casual aftercare) Anyway, so I had to borrow Dude, aka Tooth fairy dad, R50.
You may have read about our mishap with the tooth fairy last time, if not you can read it here
This time I was so not going to mess this up. When I went to bed Dudie was most likely having his 3rd or 4th dream, so I carefully removed the tooth from under his pillow and placed the R50 there instead.
Can I just say that this kid was so chuffed when he woke up the next morning. Why? Because Daddy was right. The tooth fairy also thought that that was a big tooth and that he deserved R50.
Let’s just hope the next tooth he loses is a smaller one, else I am fucked….just saying…
P.S. My Tooth Fairy will be standing at the traffic light with a cardboard sign…
( I randomly sourced this image on the net and just inserted my own words…)