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On July 6, 2018

Finding friends

In all walks of life, we meet many many different people. Aren’t we lucky to be able to live in such diversity? From the time that you are born, you are forming bonds with people. Those bonds will help you shape your views on the ways to form bonds with your friends some day. For some people making friends come naturally. For others it’s not natural. In saying this, I am also cognizant of the fact that some friendships require way more work than others.

You will find friends in the most amazing places/realms of your life. Some online and some in real life. We live in a very different world to what our parents did and these days we see how many online friends become REAL life friends! *Not everything online is bad, you just need to be aware and know the difference…*

Also, the most amazing friendships are formed when you least expect it. I have some very close friends whom I rarely talk to BUT when you see us hanging out together, you would never guess that it may have been years since we were last together.

My BFF from Sub A, or rather Grade one as most know it now, comes to visit us regularly now that she is working in GP. And just like we”clicked” so many years ago, she “clicked” right back into my and my family’s hearts! This one’s a keeper, for sure.

Be a FRIEND

You can’t expect to have friends if you are not willing to be a friend. Friendships are relationships. And like any relationship, it’s suppose to be a mutual give and take alliance. ALL relationships require work from both parties. So be sure to do your bit as a friend. Just as you need your friend, your friend needs you too!

I think one of the easiest ways to learn about being a friend comes from siblings. Siblings become some of the closest friends. A bond, an attachment, and alliance is created that stretches beyond your blood line BUT into a “brotherhood/sisterhood” called friendship. *I know that not all siblings have this closeness…case in point, my only brother and I are 9 years apart and we struggle with this closeness…

But I do think that we learn and mimic others. Until we are wiser and know how to distinguish between right and wrong… As a parent, you are teaching your child(ren) about relationships/friendships. Are you happy with with you are teaching them? Are you and your siblings friends?

Not all friends are family…find YOUR tribe! They are out there, looking for you too.

friends_are_family_you_choose_52lessons_52weeks

Spirited Mama quotes

Sift through your friends

Some friends are for life while others come and go. This is the tricky part where you need to evaluate your situation and decide who is in your life and who is out. Some friendships are short term while others are long term. Think of it this way, your friendship is an investment. And just like an investment, that friendship can reach maturity and will be ceded…

Some friends are there to help you through specific parts of your life. When you have reached the end of “that” part, you may not require that specific friend(s). It’s OK to move on and let go. You may very well have been in their lives for a reason and they may no longer need you either. *In no way am I condoning that you use and abuse your friends. Understand that friendship is a mutual give an take relationship*

Don’t despair as I’m sure you WILL meet new friends to walk with you on your journey. But this is a necessary step to ensure that you are living YOUR best life. You need to TRUST your gut. Only you will know who belongs in your life and who has reached their expiration date. It’s a tough call to make but you need to do as it is in your best interest.

Keep the GOOD friends

The good friends are the ones you want to keep for life! People who stick with you through thick and thin. People who “get” you and understand you. People who share your quirks/laugh/cry with you. People who want you to succeed in life. People who share your joy and happiness. People who want the best for you…

Spirited Mama Quotes

….

Do you have GOOD friends?

Spirited Mama

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 10 – BELIEVE in yourself

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Week 9 – TRUST

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 10 – BELIEVE in Yourself

On June 28, 2018

Believe

What even is belief? Do you believe? I do… If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have achieved what I achieved without belief. I wouldn’t be who I am today without believing in myself. Belief, for me, is to have faith and confidence in knowing that what you are attempting to do is possible. Belief is what YOU deem as true to you.

Invaluable to your success is believing in yourself

We get taught from a young age to just believe…

For me believing is right up there with having or keeping the faith! We believe what we cannot see. We believe because we have hope. Because we have faith. And because we were taught to believe in great things.

You should be your biggest fan. You should be cheering yourself on and in turn see how your fans are cheering you on too. Don’t get me wrong, you will have those fans who are waiting for you to fail or waiting for your demise. BUT keep going because you are destined to do great things. In all walks of life you meet different people. Those who cheer you on and those who cannot stand the sight of you and your success. Go back to your childlike demeanor and BELIEVE! You can if you really want to.

As parents we are tested daily with homework/tasks/projects/chores/just life in general whereby we constantly have to encourage Dudie to believe that he is good enough. To believe that HE can succeed. It gets easier each time he succeeds and I find that some days he doesn’t need the constant encouragement. I would like to think that he is encouraging himself to at least try something. At this stage, Troll seems to young to comprehend what we are saying BUT I see him cheering himself on every time he reaches a milestone. We must be doing something right…

Spirited Mama quotes

Do you believe in yourself?

What limitations have you set for yourself? How do you challenge your limitations? Do you believe in yourself? In my daily life I have to overcome so many limitations that I have set for myself, some subconsciously. I challenge myself to do better and be better than what I was yesterday. I believe that I can do anything that I set my mind to. But I also try and have a realistic approach as to not burn myself out whilst attempting my to challenge these limitations. I am not setting goals that are outrageous. I try to be more patient, to shout less, to be slow to anger and some days I’m good at it. Other days not so much. Life in itself is a challenge.

But with each and every challenge that you encounter you have a choice as to how you will react. I tend to react before I think things through. These days, my greatest challenge is to “think things through BEFORE I react“. It’s hard as my kids are constantly watching me and my behaviour. Those little sponge brains are soaking up what they think is right. And that scares the crap out of me. Am I a good enough role model? Lessons aside, I believe I can be a good role model. I believe in myself and my abilities to do my best with any given situation.

If you don’t believe in yourself , who will?… Spirited Mama

Spirited Mama

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Week 9 – TRUST

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 9 – TRUST

On May 11, 2018

If you are new to my series you can find the previous posts at the end of this post.

Week 9 – Trust

How easily do we trust strangers? Why do you, sometimes – for me at least, ignore that little voice in your head?

This lesson made me think about how easily we trust a pilot to fly us safely to our destination and back home. Someone we have NEVER met and perhaps even seen BUT we board that airplane without so much as batting an eyelid. You fasten your seat belt and off you go into the blue skies.

I know that you need to put your TRUST in someone at many different phases of your life. I would like to think that I always put my trust in God but I digress as I know that this is not always the case. Sometimes, I want to control what cannot be controlled. I want to fly my plane but I’m not a pilot so how could I?

As a parent, I saw first hand how trusting my babies were of me. Each one in his own right. Just trusting me as their mama. They didn’t “know” me but they trusted me. They had no idea what I looked like but when they “saw and met” me in person, they trusted me. The innocence of child is often overlooked yet the innocence of a child is a wonder that many of us adults could learn from. Children have an uncanny way of trusting themselves and their own judgement. Much to a parent’s horror sometimes; you know when you trying to feed the kid broccoli but they just won’t eat it but you insist that it is good for them. Well, this brings me to my lesson – Trust.

Trust yourself

Trust yourself and YOUR own judgement. Nobody knows you better than YOU do. In today’s world, I get that you cannot just go out there and trust each and every single person you meet. Unfortunately, there are many shady characters out there just waiting for trusting people they can prey on. That being said, we have become somewhat paranoid, if you want to label it as something, about each and every single person whom we meet. I’m not saying that you should go out there and just trust everyone who crosses your path. In no way should we just accept and hold hands and sing kumba yaa…

What I am saying is trust YOURSELF. That little voice in your head is seldom wrong. That little voice in your head is also a pretty good judge of character. If someone makes you uneasy, best you move right along. Sometimes it takes some time to be “comfortable” with someone. I have found that this could be that you/they are experiencing some difficult times and the timing of your meet might be “off”. It’s not that they are necessarily bad but it just might not “feel” right at the time. Some people you meet, you connect with easily and often trust immediately. Others not so much. Trust is earned.

Find friends and family you can trust

Even in your own family not everyone has your best interest at heart. Find the friends and family that you can trust. Enough said…I might start a family feud here so best I stop now 🙂

Trust God

Always trust in God. God has your best interests in mind. Everything God does is for our betterment. Even though it might not seem like it at the time, God has bigger and better plans for us. I admit that I don’t always trust in God. Looking back back at those situations, they were terrifying and I totally felt like I had lost control. Because I was never in control to begin with. Somethings are just greater than you and me.

Spirited Mama quotes

*As this series progresses I am finding some lessons more challenging than others. Each lesson is challenging in its own right but some lessons are kicking my @sS…

Trust is your credibility!!!

Do trust people instantly?

Do you take time to warm up to the idea of trusting people?

Spirited Mama

Catch up on the series here:

Week 8 – FORGIVE

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 8 – FORGIVE

On April 18, 2018

Here is a round up of my series thus far:

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Well, this certainly is NO easy task for me… Although it shouldn’t be as hard as I think it is. It just doesn’t come easily to me. I am all for receiving what you put out to the universe and I sincerely hope that if I have offended anyone in the past, present or future that they would be able to forgive me. But in that same breath, I wouldn’t hold it against you either if you can’t forgive me.

There is no hard and fast rule here. In my opinion, you should do what makes you happy and comfortable. If you forgive someone based on the fact that someone told you to, well that’s a recipe for disaster right there. It will creep up on you and it will probably cross your mind time and time again once you have a disagreement with the person in question.

When you forgive, you forgive with everything within you. You move on. You let go of whatever it was that was causing you grief. You are free from the effects causing you grief…Spirited Mama

Forgiveness is two fold

By forgiving someone you are not only taking away the power, that YOU bestowed upon them to have over you, but you are setting YOURSELF free. Free from the guilt, perhaps you feel you were to blame, free from hatred, ok maybe hatred is a strong word, free from begrudging others, free from judging others. Why hold YOURSELF prisoner in YOUR own life? More than often, the wrongdoer carries on living his/her life unbeknown to them that they have wronged you. And YOU? You live as a prisoner in your own life. Set yourself free. Take back your power! Use your energy wisely. Redirect your negative emotions to positivism.

#spiritedmamaquotes

I wish you all the patience in the world ‘cos I know how hard it is too forgive.

Do you forgive easily?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 7 – Love Yourself

On March 13, 2018

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Do you love yourself?

This is has never been an easy task, well not for me anyway. I have always battled to just love myself the way I am. I’m always trying to do better/be better/look better. I am happy with where I find myself in my life right now. Certain things can be improved but all in good time. Not everything is controllable. Sometimes we need to do what we need to do and believe and have faith that God will take care of the rest. To love yourself is accepting who you are. And it’s ok to not have it all figured out as yet. There are many opportunities to learn and grow as you go through life. You just need to be open to the idea(s) and willing to take on the opportunity when it arises. Of course I love myself but I tend to put the needs of others ahead of my own. It is not something I do consciously but rather it has become my second nature. It just happens…

Be open to ideas and take the opportunity

Are you on YOUR priority list?

It’s ok to be a little selfish here. You know the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup…” If you are not ok, how will you be able to help someone else? Believe it or not but if you don’t love yourself, how will you love someone else? You need to take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of others. More often than not, as a parent you take care of your kids needs first. (Well this is my #truth ) And as you work your way down your priority list you eventually get to yourself…Or do you? Are you even on YOUR priority list? I have been told that I have a very caring nature. I tend to “care” ALOT about others’ well-being but it seems in the process I forget to nurture my own well-being. I will go the extra mile to ensure that those on my priority list will be taken care of in whatever form, shape or size required but why don’t I just do the same for me…

Secure your oxygen mask first before you assist fellow passengers

Recently, Dudie and I have been butting heads over morning routines. This child will drop what he is busy with to help someone else. Now as much as I love that about it, it also grates me to no end as this is normally why we need to rush during school runs. I used the example airlines use in their safety videos, “You need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can assist fellow passengers.” Much to my delight, he immediately got the message and seems a little more focused these days. And then to my detriment, I also realised such is life too. I need to secure MY oxygen mask first!

This was by far one of the most difficult posts to write. It’s not that I don’t have the words. It’s that I don’t know how to put what is inside my head into a blogpost.

So do you love yourself?

Food for thought: Would you secure your oxygen mask first or someone else’s?

Spirited Mama

9 Random facts about me, Spirited Mama

On March 11, 2018

In About me, Random

Why random facts?

In light of me trying to play catch up on my blog posts/admin/etc, I thought I’d share some random facts about me. To still keep some of my post lighthearted but not detract completely from my more serious post, e.g, my latest post, click here, in my current series 52 lessons for 52 weeks ( You can follow this series week by week to see what lessons I am teaching and/or learning as I go on my life’s journey.)

Random facts in no particular order

I actually work. Like I have a day job. People seriously think that I do not work…how even? Do I dress up for the fun of it? Apparently, I’m so available to my kids that people really think I don’t work. In case you missed it, Mom of two little girls featured me in her series I Am More Than “Just A Mommy Blogger”.
I have way to many pairs of shoes, that I actually never wear. Not because I don’t want to but because I have a few favourites that are my go to shoes. I have donated 30 pairs already and I’m currently busy with operation cleanup my cupboard…
I have terrible #OCD tendencies…I freaking annoy myself, it’s THAT bad. Here’s a typical example; if Dude cleans the kitchen I WILL come back later and wipe the counters/stove/sink just so I know it’s clean according to MY standards. Believe me I have tried to let that shit go BUT it kills me to walk past the sink and it’s *not* clean…enough said
I love a #Rubik’s cube but I have never actually gotten all the squares in the right order. As a household we, Dude, Dudie and I, are working on getting the Rubik’s cube in order. It’s a great way to pass time and just switch off for a while. We keep it on the dining room table so whoever walks past it will pick it up and give it a few twists.
I am currently juggling a few balls in my life right now. If I play those balls correctly I may very well set up a little business this year.
I always dreamed of being the “voice” in the Terminal building at airports. You know the one who announces “Passenger X this is your final boarding call for flight ABC 323. Please report to Gate 3.”
I don’t take sugar in my coffee/tea. It’s been over 8 years now. I cringe if someone wants to add sugar to a beverage. BUT I do love chocolate. Don’t despair, I still get my sugar intake…
I am very rigid with my kids routines. Especially the “Let’s get these kids to bed NOW routine”. Bedtime is 19:30 for both kids. For my own sanity and so that we can have some adult conversation without one of us being interrupted/falling asleep, etc…
I love Tulips
I absolutely adore Tulips.

Feel free to comment with a random fact(s) about yourself below.

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 6 – Let it go

On February 26, 2018

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

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Week 6 – Let it go

If you read the previous lessons it’s almost a given that this lesson was coming either way. I have been tangled in a range of emotions the last two weeks and the lessons that have crept in was nothing knew. Perhaps it was God’s way of reminding me to do some introspection. Perhaps I needed to remind myself of my series. Perhaps I just needed a reality check. In the midst of trying to juggle life, Dude and I have had to make some serious life altering decisions. Yes, it was an emotional roller coaster which led to us being sleep deprived as we discussed the situation for hours on end, for 4 days straight. LET IT GO! I know it’s sounds easier than what it actually is but the truth is we complicate our lives, ourselves. Believe it or not, the choice is yours. It need not be complicated. Be technical and weigh up your pro’s and con’s and decide what the best decision is for YOU.

You don’t need to carry excess baggage

Much like when you are travelling on a flight and you have to pay for your excess baggage, the same can be said about life. You might not have to fork out the physical cash but you will pay in some way for carrying excess baggage through life. That payment could be the result of you not living up to your true potential/not seeing or being open to opportunities. Why? Because you are already overloaded and just physically/mentally/emotional cannot take on more than your current situation. Free up your baggage allowance. Let go of shit and make sure you have a few kilograms in your weight limit to spare.

My baggage

I consider my day to day life and a few short term goals my hand luggage/carry on luggage. I try and clear my carry on luggage as often as possible as this is most likely the most flexible baggage I have. It can change on a daily basis.

Long term goals and a few short to medium term goals is what I consider my precious 23-30kg checked baggage. You know the shit you sort of push to the back of your mind to deal with later, or the shit that you don’t necessarily want to deal with immediately so you park it in your long term memory. This will consume you. This will hinder your thought processes as well as your decision-making ability. With carrying baggage in life you sometimes lose the objectivity and neutrality that is often necessary to make a judgement call. Like me you may be slightly obsessed with another person’s decisions and rationale that your own judgement is clouded and you are sort of stuck on “how can Person X make such decisions?” You cannot possibly be objective if you are still questioning their motives. Again, LET IT GO!

Let go to move forward

Sometimes we need to let go of stuff to be able to move forward, to be able to take on what is intended for us. However hard the decision may be, sometimes we need to let go of whatever/whomever is not good for us. With that being said, I know from experience it’s not that easy to just let shit go. That shit will weigh you down. It will consume you. The more shit you pile on to your load, the more it will take over your existence.

Go live your life – Spirited Mama quotes

Food for thought on this cold Monday morning….

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 5 – Change is inevitable

On February 21, 2018

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If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

I apologise for being so behind on blogging but believe me I’ve had some difficult moments getting through my lessons whilst juggling hospital stays/family/work/life in general.

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Everything in life changes ALL the time. Sometimes we are oblivious to the changes that are happening right in front of us. Is it that we are too “blind” to see them or recognise them? Or are we so engulfed in life that we are simply too busy to notice? And before we know it we find ourselves in very different situations almost having some sort of epiphany about what just transpired. Why then when we know change is inevitable are we still so surprised when change occurs? Are we so complacent in our lives that we can’t possibly imagine things won’t always be a certain way? Or are we just living with the hope that the phase shall never pass?

Embrace the changes that life brings you

For I know the plans I have for you

The sooner you accept that there are things you cannot control the better. Rather embrace the changes that life brings you. Instead of freaking out that things have changed and are not what you are used to, go with it. Things might turn out to be better than before. It could even be the best thing that could have happened to you. How will you know if you don’t try? Some of the best things in my life have happened when I let God take control and I sat back and embraced the changes. Yet I do forget that I should let God be in control. I too am guilty of wanting to control my life and what happens.

Change is scary

Yes, change is scary. But instead of fearing the actual event/situation it is more the fear of change that cripples us. The fear of the unknown. How will I manage xyz? How will I know what to do? We are stronger and way more resilient than what we give ourselves credit for. Take the chance and enjoy the change. It may be just what you need. Because you know the Lord already has plans worked out for each and everyone of us. As people, we complicate matters by trying to do someone else’s work, re: God’s work. All we need to do is follow our path and do what we need to do. This is a tricky situation as it is not as clear as daylight what exactly those paths are. But you have got to have faith and trust your gut/heart that you will make the best decision when required to.

Embracing change whilst change is occurring

Need I remind you that life happens in between. 2018 is only just starting to feel like a new year but we have already juggled 6 nights in hospital when Troll contracted the Adenovirus/dealt with copious amounts of homework/extra-murals and sporting fixtures for Dudie. Instead of having a rigid system, try to be flexible to a degree. You will never only have one change to deal with. It comes when you least expect it and most likely when you feel that you cannot possibly change your current situation for whatever reason. I am teaching myself to embrace the changes. It’s not easy but it sure is rewarding. You may not always be able to see the silver lining in a situation but believe me there is one. We just need to look a little harder/deeper than what meets the eye….

If you remember only one thing from this post, let it be this:

Remember this quote by Spirited Mama

How do you deal with change? Do you embrace it?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

On January 25, 2018