Spirited Mama

YOU have got to take in the BAD to experience the GOOD

Tag: matters of the heart (Page 1 of 8)

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52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 16 – Take a Time Out

You deserve a TIME OUT

Whether you think you don’t, believe me you deserve a TIME OUT. No matter how small that time out is. Remember the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. Well, that’s where I’m finding myself. So two weekends ago, Dude decided we need a time out. Off we went to Cape Town.

Normally, we would stay with family but this time we found a holiday apartment at the beach πŸ™‚ This is where we found Dudie most of the time…

 

Take a TIME OUT already

With life being so busy and getting even busier at times, everyone can do with a little break. We don’t normally do holiday getaways with the masses during peak season but rather prefer an “off season” frequent break every now and then. Due to budget constraints we can’t do this as often as we would like but we manage to squeeze them in. Also, it’s tricky to coordinate schedules so many times we just wing and make prior arrangements to catch up on school/work once we get back.

We also had birthday celebrations in between. My MIL turned 70 years and I turned 35 years old the day after her birth day. Dude and Dudie made a lavish breakfast with all the bells and whistles. Even non-alcoholic champers so that Dudie could toast with us 😜 Troll used his water cup to join in on the toast.

Cut yourself some slack

You really need to cut yourself some slack. You give the best of you but do you recharge YOU?Β Yes, I’m talking to myself here BUT I know that most of you can relate. You give and give, and giveΒ  some more. When do you cut yourself some slack? Personally, this is extremely difficult as I feel that if I loosen the reigns things will fall apart. It’s OK to loosen the reigns a bit. My new motto; if it’s not going to harm anyone it will be OK.

As family, we needed to do “nothing”. We needed to let go of the routine and just wing it. We were busy but we needed the busyness of doing nothing. It was good for our souls.

The nothingness also became a big something as we said our final goodbyes to a family member. So in the midst of taking a time out, it was perfectly planned that we were in close proximity to be with family in a desperate time of need.

Dude has a belief that if you do something with a pure heart and good intentions, it’ll work out the way it’s suppose too.

The time out was perfectly planned. It’s rekindled my flame to Enjoy the small things. The things that often get taken for granted.

Happy Monday!

Spirited Mama

x

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

Week 7 – Love YOURSELF

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Week 9 – TRUST

Week 10 – BELIEVE in yourself

Week 11 – Find GOOD Friends

Week 12 – Enjoy the small things… F*ck balance

Week 13 – Be KIND

Week 14 – Be PATIENT

Week 15 – ARM yourself

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52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 15 – ARM yourself

Do you ARM yourself?

And no, I don’t mean with weapons or ammunition. Are you ready to face the world and whatever life gives you? I’ve come up with this acronym for myself, ARM.

A – Allow

R – Reward

M – Manage

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ready every.single.day BUT I have found that with these three words, allow, reward & manage, I do a whole lot better on the days that I’m NOT ready.

Allow yourself…

Allow yourself some freedom to give yourself a break every now and then. Whether it be a physical break from the norm or just cutting yourself some slack and NOT being so hard on yourself sometimes. No one is as critical of me as I am of myself. I’m sure many of you can relate. I allow myself to be human. I make mistakes but I really try to come back from those. I am a repeat offender in some instances BUT it’s a work in progress. Allow yourself to be YOU. Only you know what you are capable of so don’t push yourself to breaking point!

Reward yourself…

Life itself is challenging AF. Reward yourself with whatever pleases you. Be it a holiday, a new pair of shoes or even just your favourite chocolate πŸ™‚ Recognise your achievements, no matter how small they may seem and REWARD yourself. You did good! You deserve it.

Manage yourself…

Just manage yourself. In all walks of life, we are quick to say person X needs to change xyz and they’ll be sorted. Why are you concerned with person x? Their business is none of your business. Manage yourself and make sure that you stick to YOUR straight and narrow.

Just as you manage your family life/job/etc, take note that you need to manage yourself. You are the captain of your ship, so manage it!

Not everyone has your best interests in mind, in fact some people thrive when others stumble. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s OK. You will always have those *insert whichever word you deem appropriate her*… but only YOU can LIVE your life. As you navigate your life, you will learn to manage those stumbles.

Go on, manage your life. And you’ll soon be rewarding yourself for it πŸ™‚

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Spirited Mama

x

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

Week 7 – Love YOURSELF

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Week 9 – TRUST

Week 10 – BELIEVE in yourself

Week 11 – Find GOOD Friends

Week 12 – Enjoy the small things… F*ck balance

Week 13 – Be KIND

Week 14 – Be PATIENT

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52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 14 – Be PATIENT

Why YOU need to be patient

Anything and everything in life requires patience. You need to be patient.

Even if you think it didn’t require your patience, if you think back to how or where it all started…perhaps it was an idea that you had but did it happen immediately?

Have you ever rushed to get something done and then realised that if you had just been patient, things would’ve turned out better? There is a reason there is a saying …good things come to those who wait… Granted, not all situations can be waited on. Sometimes you need to go after what you want.

Be patient with yourself

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience ~ Ralph W. Emerson

This is my ultimate goal. The more patient I am with myself, the more patience I have for other people. Ultimately, you are a beautiful masterpiece in progress. You need to be worked, reworked and reworked to create YOUR masterpiece.

If I think back to just a year ago, I would have handled certain situations differently as to what I would handle them now. Growth much?

This series is causing great introspection ALL.THE.TIME. I’m both elated and freaked out about where this series takes me. It uncovers some raw emotions that I have successfully managed to cover up under a blanket of pretence. This has taken years to build and will most likely take years to lift off too. But I’m learning to beΒ  patient with myself.

 

Having patience is a valuable quality

It’s not just about having patience. It’s about how you deal with the waiting. How’s your attitude when you need to be patient? Patience does not come naturally to everyone. Some are fortunate to learn this skill, others not so much. Having patience is a valuable quality. In this busy world we seem to be rushing and racing to get whatever it is that we need. I’m part of this busy world, soΒ  I’m well aware of the “rat race”. We want instant gratification rather than to wait for things to come together.

There is nothing that grates my insides more than having to deal with an impatient person. This is when I stop, breathe and remind myself that THAT person needs MY patience more so now than ever. I don’t always get it right though. Everyone has limits…

With all that said, just know that some things take a little more time to come together. Everything has a way of working out, you just need to be patient.

Are you a patient person?

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

x

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

Week 7 – Love YOURSELF

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Week 9 – TRUST

Week 10 – BELIEVE in yourself

Week 11 – Find GOOD Friends

Week 12 – Enjoy the small things… F*ck balance

Week 13 – Be KIND

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52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 13 – Be KIND

Are you KIND?

As a child we are taught to be kind. Well, at least I was πŸ™‚ and I’m trying my level best to teach the boys to be kind too. To be kind to people and animals BUT also your environment. Apparently, people who do not take kindly to animals are also the people who do not take kindly to other humans. I can’t say that this is or is not the case as I’ve met people who definitely do not take kindly to animals but have a rather peculiar way with other humans. They are not unkind but they are not the most kind people I have ever met either. On the environment, we know that we are only given one body and one life to live but what about your environment?Β  I’m not going to preach to you about recycling, going green and what you can do to be kind to your environment. I just want to leave the thought with you…Β Are you kind to your environment?

What does it take for you to be kind?

We all have our “off” days when things just don’t seem to go the way we want them to. In these difficult times, it is then that you need need to TRY HARDER to be kind. Do we not attract energy? So on those off days, do we attract unkind people?

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle…Socrates

This rings to true for me every.single.time. The world does not revolve around me. In fact, everyone has something that they are dealing with. Some choose to display this publicly and others, including myself, choose to deal with it discreetly in a private manner.

Do you need for someone to be kind to you before you return the kindness?

I’d like to think that I’m kind to everyone I meet. And I base my decision of the person after a few interactions. However, some people have a way of creeping into your heart immediately. Just as with me, you might be having an “off” day the first time we meet. My Dude has a never ending rope of forgiveness and second chances. He believes that anyone and everyone deserves as many chances as he can possibly give them whilst he is still alive! Amazing right. He has a heart of gold overflowing with love. And what are the chances that he is an animal lover too πŸ™‚ What a role model my boys have…

We know about the laws of attraction, so why not give what you want to receive? If nothing else, I bet you’ll feel better just by spreading a little kindness to someone in desperate need. In that same way, you are spreading kindness to yourself. Sometimes we need to be a little kinder to ourselves too. In a world where life gets so buy we need to remember to spread some kindness. It need not be anything major and it definitely need not be anything for the world to see. A simple smile might be all it takes to spread some kindness today.

Are you KIND?

Spirited Mama

x

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

Week 7 – Love YOURSELF

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Week 9 – TRUST

Week 10 – BELIEVE in yourself

Week 11 – Find GOOD Friends

Week 12 – Enjoy the small things… F*ck balance

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52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 12 – Enjoy the small things…F*ck balance

Enjoy your life vs Balance your life

This lesson is constantly in my subconscious. Its become a part of me as THIS is ultimately what I want to achieve. BUT, it’s also one of the most difficult tasks to do, in the throes of life when trying to juggle all the balls. There is that little voice in my head reminding me to find that “BALANCE”. But how? How do you find that balance without dropping any balls?

As if I don’t have enough on my plate as is with life, husband/kids/work/me…

A while ago, my Dude pointed out that I should MAKE time for myself. My question is HOW/WHERE/WHEN?

Even though I only work half day, I still do a full days work within half the time. I don’t have the luxury of free time as my kids take up the other half of my time. In between extra murals/homework/projects/speeches/etc life still goes on.

I feel as though I’m playing catch up ALL the time. I took a few days off in August BUT I was sick the entire time. Not a common cold but full on flu and bronchitis. I didn’t get much done and was merely making a bad situation even worse. I decided to refrain from social media and tried to focus on my family. Although, we had tantrums and moods, all in all the time out from theΒ  mundane weekly routine did us some good.

I try to enjoy the small things but it’s damn hard to enjoy the small things when you were literally up all night with a sick baby. A baby who refused to sleep until 4am! only to wake up at 5am and vomit EVERYWHERE.

Training my mind to let shit go

Remember the lesson for week 6 – Let it go

It’s a work in progress… every single day. Learning to just be in the moment. This is one of my biggest struggles. Since being more conscious about it, I’ve started to find joy in the small things. With Troll being sick and being up all night, we caught up on some series. Before you judge, Troll was half asleep/half awake and NOT staring at the screen.

I am my worst enemy. I know that I am damn hard on myself. I take pride in my work BUT I realised I have dropped some balls there.

So society has dictated that we need to find that “BALANCE” in life. If you have THAT balance please feel free to send me your step by step manual. Otherwise feel free to f*ck off and let me enjoy my small things. This works for me. It’s what makes me feel happy rather than chasing some balance that no one person seems to know where to find anyway! Spirited Mama

It’s the small things that matter the most

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I have big dreams but I’m more of a person who thrives on gratification and satisfaction of achieving and seeing my plans come to life. To that I am trying to make those big dreams and goals smaller and more achievable by having smaller sizable tasks that once completed I can tick off my list! This is what gives me a sense of achievement. If I have to wait years just to tick a box, it kills me inside.

Right now, I find that I’m super proud of myself for getting the kids ready for school ON TIME! That’s a major thing for me and usually sets the tone for the mornings. The ultimate bonus is when the kids are happy to oblige to the morning routine.Β  I high five myself even if one child is happy and the other is having a shit fit. Having my kids eat their food is a big deal in my world. They are generally good eaters BUT we do have days where anything served is exactly what they DO NOT want. I’m not going to cook you a special meal, this is what’s on offer so deal with it. Believe me, kids will eat if they are hungry.

Dude and I have catch up sessions in the evening when the kids are in bed. You might be wondering why this is a big deal to me…Well this is also the time where I can quickly clean up/fold laundry/get ready for tomorrow. So this is also the time that Dude helps with whatever task is on hand! It’s also OUR quiet time to sit back and enjoy a coffee together.

 

F*ck Balance

I’m doing the BEST I can in the moment!

What are the small things that you enjoy?

Do you have the elusive BALANCE in your life?

Enjoy YOUR small things!

Spirited Mama

x

If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1 – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

Week 5 – Change is inevitable

Week 6 – Let it go

Week 7 – Love YOURSELF

Week 8 – FORGIVE

Week 9 – TRUST

Week 10 – BELIEVE in yourself

Week 11 – Find GOOD Friends

 

 

 

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My kids make me angry or is it just me needing to express my emotions?

Do my kids really make me angry?

My kids have a set routine and we follow their routines quite efficiently. They know what to expect and when to expect it and this in turn sees them as generally “good” kids. The problem is that I feel they make me angry when they don’t do what I want them to do…when I want them to do it.

I don’t think I have the right to be angry BUT in that moment I am angry and I can’t help it! I breathe, I tell myself to calm the fuck down. It’s not the end of the world BUT to me it feels that I have lost control.

So I’ve been toying with this anger for a while and Tuesday was one of those nights… Our electricity went out just after 8pm. For the record, Troll, 1 yr, goes to bed anywhere from 6 – 7 pm. No issues, no fuss. Dudie, 8 years, goes to bed 7:30 PM but now during school holiday we leave him until generally around 9/10 PM.

Back to Tuesday. Electricity goes out just after 8PM. Granted we have a generator but we had done everything that we needed to so there was technically no reason to use the generator other than to be able to power the aircons. It’s freezing at night.

Troll sleeps in his own room and does not co-sleep with us AT ALL. We expereinced a terrible week of co-sleeping whilst on holiday earlier in teh year and I vowed that we would NOT repeat that again. So we decided it would be a good idea for the rest of the family to catch up on some sleep and turn down early.

Around 9PM, one of the neighbours switched on their generator. WTF! Both dude and I were like, “that generator is going to wake Troll” as it sounds as if it is coming from next door, closest to his window…. And BAM! Baby wakes up and is pissed as hell. So I quickly cuddle him in our bed for some warmth and pray that he just goes back to sleep. That must have lasted 20 minutes…

Troll decided he wants to play because why else would he be in our bed… The dilemma we had was that his room was freezing cos NO aircon! Troll is also a bad, all over the bed, sleeper. So in between Dude and I trying to get him to settle, Dude eventually pipes up that Troll is NOT going to sleep and we should just let him be.

Β Where the anger stems from?

So many possible solutions here but let me point out a few:

  • If I have settled my kids, then why are they not settled??? I don’t know how to help you.
  • I feel that I have lost control of the situation.
  • What am I doing wrong? Parenting is kicking my ass. If I can’t manage my kids at 8 years and 1 year, what will I do when they are teenagers…
  • I am tired and just want a good night’s sleep.
  • I’m under pressure and stressed at work.
  • This situation is not conducive to my current mood and is quite inconvenient and inconsiderate right now…
  • I expect my kids to be more mature… How I can think this crap is beyond me. Note to self – THEY ARE KIDS!

I really need to get a grip on these negative thoughts!

How I am managing my anger

I know that many parents feel this way too. It’s not intentional BUT these feelings creep up when I least expect it. Some days I manage the anger well and others NOT.

I want to start making notes of when, where and WHY I became angry. Hopefully, this might point out some triggers for similar situations.

More and more I find myself talking to myself, sometimes aloud. This is not as crazy as you might think because sometimes we need to SAY SOMETHING OUT LOUD and hear YOUR OWN VOICE. You might have that much needed ah-ha moment.

I’m trying my hardest to model good behaviour.

I need regular time-outs! Nothing fancy, just a time-out to do me… some times a walk outside the house to look at our roses bushes does wonders…

Parenting and emotions

Parenting is NOT for the faint hearted! Parenting is very very hard sometimes. It’s an emotional roller coaster. As a woman, I already have dozens of emotions and hormones doing all kinds of crazy things to me and on top of that I still have to keep my emotions in check when parenting. That being said, Parenting is also my greatest achievement!

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Spirited Mama quotes

 

I just can’t imagine living without my offspring…

Spirited Mama

x

 

How to get a degree in 3 years, DO NOT attempt this MY way

MONDAY 7 May 2018, was MY day!!!! Monday, I graduated! Three long, hard years of studying and it is finally here on this Monday morning. Graduation day is THE day that you can stand tall, brim with excitement, and breathe that sigh of relief as you pat yourself on the back… You made it to the finish line. This is what you have been aspiring to. I walked across a stage to be handed my “papers” literally and figuratively as I have successfully completed a Bachelors degree.

The gist of this blog post, if you don’t feel like reading is:

First Year – practise making a baby

Second Year – pregnant

Third Year – breastfeeding

My how to get a degree in 3 years or rather how NOT to do it the way that I did it…You decide whichever option suits you best. Read below, you might find something valuable…

This summary was the idea of my dear friend, Laetitia from PoppetPatch. There were some other words used, containing profanity, but for the sake of family viewing she came up with “clean” words. Thank you babe for the laughs and the pats on the back. You are my sunshine!

My 3 year degree program

My degree was set out in such a way that it accomodated the working individual. There were scheduled block weeks for each module, roughly 3-4 days of actual class, per month. The first year is probably the busiest as there are way more modules than any other year. Class attendance is compulsory and is an exam pre-requisite. In the second year, you have less modules but suddenly the workload intensifies. Also, your lectures now expect a certain calibre of work from you. In your third and final year is when you have the least number of modules BUT as in the previous year, standards are significantly higher as lecturers expect you to be on a certain academic range. You are no longer just a student. You should be knowledgeable by now and write up 7-10 page assignments! Do you know how many friggen words that is…a shit lot.

My 3-4 day block weeks is by no mean glamourous. I had to cram a semester’s work into those days. Full time students get almost 4-5 months of proper class attendance…me, I got 3-4 days for 4-5 months worth of work!!!! Exam periods were the worst as this was the time that I would function on minimal sleep and still have to get through the day.

First Year

I distinctly remember walking into my first class, feeling very nervous and anxious. Listening to people introduce themsleves. For a moment the self doubt crept in as I was sitting there, thinking what am I doing here? What am I getting myself into? The lecturer giving the class an overview of the 3 year degree program. What to expect in exams, etc. I sat there, not saying a word, but just listening. Thinking #WTAF am I going to write in a 3 hour exam when each question is worth a 100 marks! What could you possibly write that is worth 100 marks AND on top of that you need to answer 3 questions per module. 3 hours for 300 marks!

The best advice for successfully completing your degree

As I moved through the first year, the lecturers were always helpful and willing to go the extra mile. The best advice was to work on assignments as quickly as possible so that by the time you had another class to attend, you are done with the previous class work. This was everything to me as our classes would overlap with due dates for assignments. This was also NOT always doable and boy did teh wheels fall off the bus when I had to work on multiple tasks in different modules, similtaneously.

Second Year

How did I get to my 2nd year?

So I made it through the first year with some valuable lessons taken from the first year. This year was by far the most challenging as we decided to help my brother-in-law rebuild his life. Dude also had an accident on the way to work on the 1st of May. This was also around the time that I found out I was pregnant! My pregnancy was not as easy as it as was with Dudie.

Pregnant whilst studying

With both pregnancies, I had the lovely all day morning sickness with the actual vomiting too. I remember walking into an exam one morning and the invigilator looked at me with such pity and she said, “my dear, don’t you want to come back for the sick exam? You don’t look well.” I said nope. I am ready for this exam. I know that food and drinks are not allowed but I haven’t eaten proper food in at least a week and I have a protein shake with me. Can I please sip on it whilst I write as I’m afraid I might pass out if I don’t drink it. I also told them that in the event of me running out of the exam venue, please follow me as I’m probably on my way to the bathroom. There might NOT be time to ask if I may go… How fun was my exams. When I had the same invigilators for my other exams, the invigilators actually kept bringing me cold bottled water during my exam, as they knew my situation already.

Pregnancy complications almost halted my studies

I was diagnosed with Pre-Eclampsia. I was hospitalised several times throughout the year. I also ended up missing one exam as I was admitted on the morning I was suppose to write an exam. I was freaking out. I messaged my course coordinator and explained that the doctor and nursing staff won’t let me leave the hospital, even though I said I’d come back straight after the exam. I was pissed and annoyed as I had prepared but now I couldn’t write the exam. I did manage to write the aegrotet exam, almost like a sick exam where your semester marks still count in this case. Did you know that if you write a supplementary exam your semester marks DO NOT count? They only use your exam mark.

So with being pregnant and going through a bit of a rough pregnancy, this was also the year that Mamma died. This threw me completely. Being pregnant and hormonal was rough but now also to deal with the grief at times felt unbearable. There were times where I just wanted to close my books, quit and crawl into my bed. Done. The end. BUT I didn’t. Something inside me was burning.

#spiritedmamaquotes

Third Year

Also known as the final year. The least amount of modules, but the most intense workload ever. It was crazy juggling momlife/worklife and studies. I distinctly remember completing an assignment one night with Troll on my boob. That particular day he just wanted to be on top of me. I wrapped him up and held him close to my chest and carried on working. Next minute, my alarm goes off and it’s morning. How even? I did not sleep yet. And now I have to get ready to tackle the day ahead on NO sleep. But I did submit my assignment on time!

 

So as the famous quote goes… “It always seems impossible until it is done ~ Nelson Mandela”

 

You can get YOUR degree in 3 years

It wasn’t easy. Tough times meant that we, as a family needed to work together, to ensure a streamlined process was followed. Routines were vital not just for me but also Dudie and Troll. There were times where Dude and I were both preparing for exams, boy was that intense. Dude and I follow two total opposite ways of studying. He needs complete silence around him whereas I need “white noise” to help me focus. I can literally study in front of the TV and it won’t bother me at all.

During these double exam periods, we would either each take a turn to get to our studies earlier. Meaning one of us would “parent” alone whilst the other would study. Our alternative was we parent together and get the kids to bed so that we both get to our studies.

#spiritedmamaquotes

Dudie, currently 8 years old, was on board most times and helped out where and when he could. He would offer to just sit with me whilst I studied. Love this child! So thoughtful. Troll, currently 1 year old, was way to young to comprehend what was happening. He was happy as long as he was fed. I did try and establish a routine with Troll as soon as possible. This was vital for my own sanity.

Amidst all the studying and class attendance, Dudie’s schooling/projects/extra murals/ sports/ etc and me making Troll home-made baby purees..Life has to go on. Life didn’t stop because I was studying. I have fallen asleep in the car, NOT whilst driving thankfully, but after the school run. I have cried in the car because I was just THAT exhausted. I have fed my kids flings and cheese toast on many occasions when I just did not have the energy to cook a meal. But I knew what needed to be done and I knew what sacrifices were needed.

Surely I have free time now after completing my degree

What free time? Life still has to happen. The only difference now is that I can also go to bed at a decent hour like everyone else. I didn’t magically have more than 24 hours in my day whilst I was studying. I studied after dark. Some nights I had to pull all nighters. Terrible for my body but it had to be done, so that I could succeed. I was still a wife/mom/employee and student. Right now I am taking a break from studying. I just needed to catch my breath and read books, other than prescibed reading material – which by the way was killing off my creativity.

The past three years have been incredibly challenging. Many sacrifices were made but in the end I kept my eyes on the goal. I stood tall and I waited for my name to be called. It is such a proud moment. I’ve cried a few times already as I have reflected on what this journey has been like, where this journey has taken me, and how this journey has changed me. This is not just my journey but also my little spirited family’s journey. They made sacrifices too so that I could reach my goal!

My proudest moment was seeing Dudie’s face as he watched his Mama walk across that stage. He shared my moment and rightfully so as he was was a critical part of my journey and my success just like Dude and Troll!

What have you done for yourself recently?

Are you a student mom or student parent?

How did you/do you cope?

Spirited Mama

x

 

Lucy At Home

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

If you are following my series, I thank you. If you are new to my series find the previous posts below:

Week 1Β  – Living with intent

Week 2 – Be an example

Week 3 – Be YOU

Week 4 – Treasure people NOT possessions

This week’s lesson is as old as time but how many of us actually live by it? I was raised in the same house as my brother but we are in fact almost a decade apart, and definitely raised differently and in different times/worlds. Growing up we always had what we needed and/or wanted. We were blessed and fortunate. BUT where we lack is that emphasis was placed on possessions rather than people. Many would describe us as “being well off” but I didn’t see or think of it that way. As an adult, I see where these perceptions stem from. Now that I am a parent, my husband, aka Dude, and I have very different parenting styles to that of our parents. We are trying to place the emphasis on PEOPLE rather than possessions. And I sincerely hope that my boys, aka Dudie and Troll, will learn that valuable lesson.

People vs Possessions

People come and go in our lives. It’s is the circle of life. Possessions on the other hand is merely a bunch of materialistic goods that you have acquired in your life, whether you have worked for it,Β  earned it or perhaps inherited it. How do you place so much value on material things that exist in a temporary world? Your focus should be on the people in your life. Those people who share your life’s journey. Those very same people who encourage you to be the best version of you. Most of us have encountered a saying “some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. #truth Some people teach us for an entire lifetime, some teach us for a short while and others…well some we need to let go of… My wish is that we find the reason or purpose and enjoy the person who is part of YOUR life. This is easier said than done but at least enjoy the friendship no matter what the lifespan may be.

Choose the “right” people for you

Not all people in your life is on your side, or in your corner. You will encounter people that are out to get you, that don’t wish anything good for you, and some are just plain mean and jealous of you. Don’t let that cramp your style. Move on and move forward. Some people are only there for a short period but can have the most profound effect on your life. Appreciate the people. Appreciate the lesson you gain from dealing with people. You may not always know why certain people cross your path but in due time all will be revealed.

What do you treasure? People vs Possessions? Be honest with yourself…

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 3 – Be YOU

Hopefully by now you are aware of my series, 52 lessons for 52 weeks. If not, for Week 1 click here and Week 2 click here

Week 3: Thursday 18 January

Today as we celebrated the fact that we were blessed to open our eyes to a beautiful day, we also celebrated the Dudie starting Gr 3. How even did we get to this point in our lives SO quickly. It feels like yesterday that I looked a pregnancy test with two pink lines on it! We stood at line up watching the excitement, anxiety, joy, laughter and some tears being shared. I suspect the tears were all from newbie scholars. Then my eye caught Dudie, who happily walked right up to the front of the line and patiently waited for his name to be called. The lesson for week 3: Be YOU! The confidence Dudie exuded was beyond me. From the first day at school, he has always just been himself and found “his” space. This is a character trait that I would like to think he gets from his Mom πŸ™‚ *pats myself on the back*

Be YOU

This week lesson is not only for myself but also for my kids. Be YOU! you can only be YOU. Don’t try to be like others. Don’t compromise yourself or your happiness. Once you know how to be you, you will in turn be good to others. If you are happy, you will spread your happy.

All around us we see too many people wanting to be like others. Compromising their lives, livelihood and happiness. Here’s a quote to live by:

You were born to STAND OUT!

I get that there are times where sacrifices are made for the greater good. Let’s not be stubborn or hard arsed. But believe me when I say, trust your gut. If you truly feel unhappy, unsure of something make sure YOU are happy with YOUR decision first. You will never please everyone, neither will you ever keep everyone happy. Ensure that YOU live your life. YOU make YOUR decisions. And be happy with YOUR decisions. Remember that every decision will have a consequence and sometimes repercussions. Make sure that YOU are happy with it!

Now let us get on our merry way and go sprinkle some happy!

Follow my journeyΒ in my 52 lessons for 52 weeks and discover with me, uncover with me, and grow with me. I’m petrified as to what I am opening myself up to BUT how else will I learn and grow if I don’t challenge myself to do greater things.

Are you YOU?

Spirited Mama

52 lessons for 52 weeks: Week 2 – Be an example…

This post is a little late but I’ve been having some technical difficulties and we were away from home for a few days. We squeezed in a quick trip to Cape Town just before Dudie starts school again. More about that in another post on another day.

Week 2: Be an Example

You may know about my journey of 52 lessons for 52 weeks. If not click here for week 1, which is also my introductory post. Week 2: Be an example focused on what example I am setting for my boys. The type of person I am, my character traits. The way I react to situations. The way I handle a melt down. As a parent it is not easy to ALWAYS keep your “cool” BUT you know those little eyes and ears are watching and listening to your every move. Parenting my boys is way more intense than any pressured job I’ve ever done! Be an example…how many times have you heard that? We all know it but do we really live it? I certainly don’t. I try but I falter an fall along the way side often. Here’s an example, Dudie is 8 years old and knows NOT to swear or cuss. As his parents we swear/cuss but we try not to especially in front of the kids. Dudie knows which words NOT to repeat. *High five to us* Now steps in Troll, aka the baby, who will be 1 year old in less than 10 days! Troll is at the mimicking and copying stage and we’ve noticed that he hangs on every word we say, and watches every move we make. He wants to copy us. Now we have picked up that Troll is mouthing the “F” sound…yes that’s right the “F” sound. Not to repeat words like “food, fruit, fun, face, etc” BUT the word he wants to copy is FUCK! Holy moly, we need to watch ourselves!!! We tend to let loose when Dudie is not around but forget we have a baby who is watching and listening.

Learning lessons the hard way

For me to teach myself some lessons, I’m digging into emotions buried way below my inner core…It’s hard, it’s scary but I know I need to do it to better myself. I’m doing it so that my boys will grow up to be brave enough to face their emotions instead of burying things and moving on and rather face whatever situation head on and deal with it right then and there. Case in point, my parents. We don’t get along. We are civil but we don’t get along. We are just way to different. We can be in the same company and not speak for the entire time and I would be fine with that. I don’t know how they feel about it but they are certainly not doing anything about it. I have moved on. Some hard decisions were made for me to be able to live my life. Yes they are the boys’ grandparents and we visit with them when we are in Cape Town but I’m sure as hell not going to break my neck trying to just fit them in to our lives. Some people just don’t work for you, so what would make your parents any different? I know I am raising kids and they might turn around and tell me that I don’t work for them but that is the chance I’m willing to take. A chance to give my boys an unconditional love, a life filled with family – because hey we have lots of other family who loves us and wants to spend time with us. A sincere upbringing to see what love actually is – it’s a feeling, an emotion that overpowers all other emotions!

Putting my lessons out in the universe for 2018

Some might say it’s karma or murphy’s law but since I put out my 52 lessons for 52 weeks I’m really being tested on these lessons. These lessons are not unique to me, I’m sure of it! Neither are they “NEW” lessons. I’m sure most people will find some, most or maybe all lessons something they can relate to. This series is suppose to be a learning experiment for me and hopefully I can find some humor in them and not always be so serious…I find that being an example is huge. I’m raising kids who I hope will someday grow into beautiful, respectful, humble young men. Men who will know how to treat others but not let others take advantage of them. I see them watching their Dad, aka Dude, all the time. I see them watching how he treats me and by golly if they take with them only a quarter of what their Dad is indirectly teaching them, they WILL know how to treat a woman like a queen!

I am not a confrontational person but I have been facing confrontation so often I feel like it may very well be part of my routine. So I’m pulling up my socks and showing my boys how to handle confrontation. Stand your ground. Don’t be a dumb ass. Listen and decipher the information but ultimately deal with the situation right then and there!

Let me continue to Be an example….we are having a pj day πŸ™‚

Spirited Mama

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