Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

To my first born. You ARE a good child!

By

On May 17, 2017

In emotions, happiness, Parenting

My first born… 7 years old already

Where is the time flying to???

You know that moment when you realise your baby isn’t a baby anymore….Dudie is 7 years old. 7!!! He used to call me mommy/mama now it’s just mom. Sometimes he even uses my first name, bless this child. He is so independent but yet still so dependent on mom. Where did the last 7 years go?

One minute I was looking at a 3.4kg chubby face whom I had just birthed and the next he is in Grade 2. Somedays I miss your incessant staring at me and in the same breath I look forward to watching you grow into a handsome young man. A man who will become the object of some woman’s affection yet you will always be the object of my heart and soul.

Your first cry made me cry

From the moment I heard your first cry, you literally came screaming into this world, I knew you were destined for great things. Your first cry made me cry. Of all the emotions I was experiencing, being hormonal and high on adrenaline as I just birthed my child drug free, I was ecstatic. Some things will be discovered later but for now, we support you in whatever you want to do. We want to give all the opportunities possible. We want you to explore, to live, to dream. To find your happiness. And wow, you have proven to be an all rounder…and we are SUPER proud of you. In any and everything you give it your best shot.

Your good shines through

Your friends look up to you. Some days I think you are the cool kid but you nonchalantly wave me off and just hang out with your friends. Adults comment on your excellent behaviour. I smile proudly and take the compliment whilst quietly thinking to myself “You aint seen this monkey when he loses his shit”. You are a good child and don’t you ever forget that. Some days you just fall by the wayside…just as many of us adults do. It’s life, it happens. You know how sometimes you tell me my face has an angry stare but I insist that I am fine. Well, that is mom falling by the wayside. Or when mom doesn’t seem her talkative self, yip that is mom falling by the wayside.

You are a good child

In essence, I want you to know that not everyone is good at everything all the time. So when you do fall by the wayside, cut yourself some slack and don’t be so hard on yourself. At the tender age of 7 years I see how hard you are on yourself. And I know you don’t want to disappoint us. Remember what we always say:

“Just try your best. You should be proud of yourself. Your best is good enough for us and should be for you too.” Spirited Mama

You are a good child. And I am blessed to call you my son. My love for you is fierce. And it burns like a roaring fire in my soul. I am sorry that it doesn’t always seem that way though.

I love you my child. Be fearless. Discover. Go on adventures. Go live YOUR best life.

Spirited Mama

x

P.S. Today was a typical day where the wheels fell off the bus. I got you up and going happy bedhead and all. Somewhere in between me calmly, I promise I was calm and there was no shouting, asking you to get done for the millionth time you lost your shit with me. You went off on a tangent and then I got the dreaded “you give Troll more attention than me”. OMG! Really? I will need to rethink this situation as I really don’t think it’s true but I will merit your concerns and address them. I do think we are going through a difficult patch as you are struggling to manage your emotions. And I do think Troll definitely  makes a huge impact on the situation right now. (Adulting and parenting is hard…🙈)

Last night was opening night for your Concert. As always, the moment you take the stage my tears roll. I am so proud of you, how confident you are, how much you pour your heart and sould into everything you do. When I offered you a sandwich, you politely declined because you didn’t want to ruin the makeup 😂😂😂

My proverbial death…

By

On May 15, 2017

In Family, Kids, Parenting

I took a leap of faith

Well in 2016, I took a leap in faith and decided that if it is in God’s plan for us to have another baby then we will. I left it in God’s hands. I am a control freak but this was the one decision that I knew I couldn’t make on my own. I needed intervention but I needed God’s intervention, as I just wasn’t sure if we were making the right decision. Turns out God wanted us to have another son. I was nervous as hell as I pee’d on a stick…do you know that both times Dude predicted I was pregnant before I realised it. And he was spot on both times. Maybe he knew something I didn’t. In 2016 when I saw those two lines I was shocked that I didn’t believe it to be true. Dude set out to buy a digital test and it was confirmed again. I was pregnant. If I could do my own blood test I would have.

A blessing as a result of faith

Fast forward to 2017 and we welcomed our resident alien, another son richer. For the sake of this blog we will call him “Troll” as Dude has dubbed him. A blessing indeed. Life as we knew it changed completely. As much as I tried to prepare my oldest son, Dudie who is 7years old, I neglected to prepare myself…Suddenly, there was a new man in my life who needed me. Every ounce of me. Day and night. To say that I’m tired or even exhausted is an understatement. How did I neglect to prepare myself. Well that was so easy. Whilst helping everyone else make the transition and preparing the baby room I kinda got so wrapped up in it all that I never took a moment to understand or even allow myself to embrace this new change. I was ecstatic and consumed with the happy that I never allowed myself to say goodbye to the old me. Much like I didn’t do 7 years ago when Dudie was born. No one can prepare you for motherhood. Well not for YOUR unique individual experience as a parent.

Troll weighed 4kg at birth. I shit you not. Me, I birthed a 4kg baby…I might do a separate post about it. I didn’t struggle to lose the baby weight as Troll literally suck me dry. But who was I kidding trying to wear my push up underwire bra….it’s a killer especially when your boobs fill up with milk.

Who knew I would sing “Jesus loves me” a gazillion trillion times….cos the baby seems calmer when I sing it. And 75% of time he drifts off to sleep listening to my singing. Maybe I could make a career out of it on You Tube…one can wish can’t I.

I am breastfeeding mom. Was with Dudie too. But my golly these kids of mine can suck me dry. Sometimes I think my body can’t keep up with their milk demand. Dudie breastfed exclusively for 5months then went on a boob strike and from then I expressed for a further 3 months. Then I was done, my hopes of breastfeeding for a year didn’t quite materialise. Troll is also being breastfed currently. If we can make it to 6 months I’d be happy but If we can last 1 year that’ll be great.

Just as with Dudie, I am back in my normal old clothes again very soon after having Troll. But I have a tummy roll. Omg the dreaded roll. Dudie asked me the other day when the lines on my tummy will disappear. I responded with “Never. It reminds me that I have you and your brother”. And he also asked if I store Troll’s milk in my boobies…this child of mine has no filter…but I love him.

Finding the silver ling after the old me was gone

There have been dark days where both kids have drove me completely batty. Especially during Dudie’s school run. Someone is always hungry. Someone always poops as we need to leave. Someone is always unhappy about something.

Then there have been great days where Dudie is showered and ready whilst I’ve still got Troll stuck on my boob. Everyone is happy and the morning is as smooth as baby shit.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. I love being a mom. I just think that I need to stop being so hard on myself. But how can I. How can I drop my own standards. If mom doesn’t do xyz, the wheels on the bus go STOP. If mom doesn’t cook then chances are we WON’T eat supper by 6pm which then means Dudie is in the snack cupboard and snacking like a savage dog. How am I the only one seeing that if we break out of routine the shit hits the fan?

Let’s not even get started on Dudie’s homework, oral presentations, projects etc…he is only in grade 2 and I swear this child’s homework will be the end of me. We fight and there have been times where I relieve myself from homework duty but I end up with a 7 year old crying his eyes out cos he needs me. His words exactly. He needs me. Mommy must do homework with him.

A new me was born

Being a mom to my two boys is a blessing and yes I am extremely grateful. BUT this mom needs a break. This mom needs a mom retreat. Soon. Before I lose my marbles. I have so many draft posts that I just don’t get around to finishing right now. Life is so busy. And when I have a few minutes to spare you can bet your pennies I’ll be hurriedly busy trying to finish something, read housework, cos otherwise that too just piles up. Life lately is consumed with laundry. Everyday. I kid you not. You can stop over any day and I bet you will find the washing machine on or the tumble dryer or the load waiting to be washed. Whoever came up with the idea that mom needs to sleep when the baby sleeps was either completely insane or most likely had someone to do each and everything that comes with running a household and family….

I am NOT  the same person I used to be. In fact I am a new me. I’m not even sure I want the old me back but I do know that I miss snippets of the old me. Somewhere when Dudie turned 5 I felt like a person again. Not just a mom. Now throw in the Troll and it feels like I’m back to being just “Mom”.

I get that there are Dads who are very hands on, and granted Dude does help ALOT at home. But what is up with the “mom guilt”? Why can Dad decide to go fish and sleep out with his buddies but if Mom says she is NOT coming home tonight it’s the end of the world? Happy mom happy family right?

Do you do mom retreats?

I’m going to start my own trend #momcation 

Now to find some mom friendly destinations 🙂

Spirited Mama

P.S. Troll is 14 weeks old already…where have I been these past 14 weeks??? Feels like a dream.

When you live up to your name…

By

On February 20, 2017

In choices, Parenting

What’s in a name?

Do you know what your child’s name means? Did you choose it or did you give someone else the honour of naming your child or children? Did you choose his/her name before they were born? Or are you one of those parents who waited until your child was born, to see what “name” they looked like?

I have 2 sons. Dudie is now 7 years old and the new baby is currently 3 weeks going on 4. I can’t believe how quickly the past three weeks have flown by. Where is time rushing to?

When I was pregnant with Dudie, my Dude and I discussed several names. With both pregnancies our kids were planned. We had a few options but none that really resonated and made me feel “aaahhh that’s the name of my child”. Dude is the 4th generation of family names and when Dudie was in utero I decided that we will not continue the tradition. Don’t worry Dude was totally on board with the decision. One day on my commute to work I sought of had an epiphany. Now I am not the very religious type but I do believe in God and I do regard myself as a Christian. Somehow I had a sense of something around me and I knew in that moment that my child’s name was “Joshua”. Nowhere had I ever dreamt or intended for my child/children to have biblical names. But that feeling was so strong and reassuring that I knew he is destined to be “Joshua”.

Some might know and for those who don’t, for a very very very long time I was convinced that Joshua would be my only child. Albeit that I had relatively fuss free pregnancy and what many believe to be an easy birth too. But in 2015, Dude threw me a curveball wanting or rather longing for another baby. I wasn’t quite ready. I wasn’t convinced. And the whole baby thing was left hanging. I spent alot of time considering having another baby. Many people commented that its because I waited so long. The gap is too big. Blah blah blah… I always knew that I was not cut out to have two babies close in age… I couldn’t handle the thought of two nappy bags, bottles, diapers, etc.

Dude is very superstitious. When I told him that our first born’s name is Joshua, he told me that he needed to think about it and thoroughly do his research. He is a firm believer that one lives up to your name. It took him a while to agree that we will name our first son Joshua.

My sons live up to their names

Joshua means “God saves”. Joshua was and still is my happy child. When we looked into the meaning of his name it described my child to the core. We have witnessed how Joshua has transformed our extended families. We have witnessed how Joshua has impacted our families and brought them together. This child is a hellavu kind of special person and I know he is destined to be great, no matter what he does, no matter what he chooses to be one day.

I joked about how if we ever had another child he will be Noah. Never did I imagine that it would be a reality. But in 2017, 2 weeks earlier than anticipated, we welcomed Noah into our little family. From the onset he crept into my heart and I reAlised that indeed I had a sense of longing, just as much as Dude, for Noah. Dudie is as happy as a pig in mud about having a brother. He is super proud and completely “in love” just like us with Noah.

Noah means rest and comfort. Even though he can make his voice as loud and clear as any baby, he is a peaceful child. It is yet to be seen if he lives up to his name but already he has brought comfort into our souls…

Ironically, I named both our boys, and both have Hebrew names. First and middle names but Dude did add the SURNAME😂

Little did I know that this is my destiny. My family feels complete. It’s me and my guy and our boys ❤

This is my legacy.

This is my BEST life.

Spirited Mama

x

p.s. The sign featured is one that I bought for Dudie to hang in his bedroom.

Because it’s V-day

By

On February 14, 2017

In LOVE, Valentines Day

Valentines Day or commonly referred to as V-day

Because it’s V-day I thought I’d add my 2 cents…We are not phased by celebrating Valentines Day, as I do think its commercialised and just a marketing ploy to guilt people into feeling obligated to “do/buy” something for their significant other. Well, we celebrate our wedding anniversary on 3 Feb, and in case you missed it we just hit the 10 year mark. We sometimes forget that Valentines Day is a thing because actually it not OUR thing.

Don’t get me wrong, it is always great to receive flowers/gift/chocolates from your other half, you decide if he/she is the better half 😂 But why should it be limited to just one day in a year? Technically, what is being said is that no one could be bothered the rest of the year but on Valentines day you’d better make sure that you conform to the norms of society.

Not conforming to Valentines Day norms

Well I say fuck it! We don’t conform to the norms of society. We have special days in our house ALL the time, albeit that Dude is the instigator. Man alive my Dude is a romantic❤ My Dudie, 7years old, is learning from his Dad how to be romantic and how to treat a woman. He sees the love.

Dudie bought myself and his valentine, a girl in his class, a rose each. I asked him what a valentine does or is suppose to do? You know cos this Mom needs to know what information is being shared on the playgroud….Thankfully according to Dudie a valentine just gives each other a flower/gift. And by the way, the girl asked him…I thought it was odd as he never bothered with it before. I used to be the old girl that got his gifts☺ I cringe thinking about what discussions transpire on playgrounds. Do you know what your kids are discussing with their peers?

So here’s to Valentines Day🍾Whether you celebrate it or not, enjoy either way….

Spirited Mama

xxx

10 Years ago…

By

On February 3, 2017

In Marriage, Reflections

10 years ago

Today, 10 years ago….we became Mr & Mrs ❤ To be joined together as one.

The one phrase that stuck in my head since 10 years ago is “They are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder” Matthew 19.6 (Dude seems confused. As if this is the first time he hears this verse…was he not at our wedding😂)

We have grown so much…it amazes me. We have so much to be grateful for and we are most definitely abundantly blessed. We even gained 2 beautiful sons in our marriage.

Here’s to the next 10 years and the next, and the next, etc

Dude is sitting next to me as I write this post this is what he just said…”Our marriage is like our tortoise…slow and steady wins the race”.

Cheers to us. To a lifetime of us. Always and forever❤

Spirited Mama

x

P.S. The resident alien arrived on 24 January 2017. So in celebrating our 10 years of marriage, we also celebrate the resident alien being 10 days old today.

 

Dinner conversations

By

On January 23, 2017

In Conversations, memories

We are fortunate in the Spirited household that I work half day. Dudie and I get home anywhere between 13:00 – 15:00, depending on the extra mural activities for the day. EXCEPT on Fridays. We do not compromise our FRIDAY! We have no extra murals and all shopping excursions is left for any day of the week EXCEPT Friday!

Granted Dudie and I are home early during the day and generally Dude is home by 16:00 everyday. We get to have to have a family dinner roughly 18:00 -18:30, you know those ones we see on TV and think fcuk how do they eat that early everyday…well half day JOB = early family dinner time

Dinner conversations in our house

Our dinner time conversations are roughly about catching up on each other’s day and reminding one another to look at our “schedules” on the board. I am OCD with schedules and lists…I don’t like MAJOR surprises or curveballs. I like to plan and know what’s happening. On most nights this is how it goes…

(This is how it plays off in Dude’s mind)

Me: blah blah blah…so the other kid at swimming blah

Dudie: (interrupts whilst I am still talking) Daddy can I tell you something? Blah blah Blah

Dude: Stares blankly and says WHOA one at a time.

My Dude basically has a hissy fit because we are talking simultaneously. Well let me just add that Dudie sometimes forget to wait until someone is done speaking before going off on a tangent with his own story. That boy will sometimes ask and answer the very question he has just posed to you.

I want to die everytime I have to repeat myself cos who listens to the mom/wife anyway? Dude is so guilty of this. he will literally look me in the eye and “listen” but 5 minutes later asked me  to repeat what I said cos he didn’t hear me….

Conversations filled with fun and laughter

Our dinner conversations are filled with fun and laughter but sometimes we prefer to have some quiet time too. But the other night the boys were cracking jokes. I moaned  the resident alien is super busy and kicking the daylights out of me. Dudie comes to check and gets a kick on the hand. I said every time the resident alien moves I poke him. Dudie pipes up: So poke him! I snort laughed and sprayed them and the spinach rolls with coffee….which was in my mouth. I did apologise because being pregnant I constantly need to pee and a laugh/sneeze can make me pee my pants #pregnancyjoys Unfortunately for them I sprayed the coffee, fortunately for me I managed to hold my pee.

Oh and NO, there is still NO baby. This boy is making keeping us in suspense. Last week Wednesday, Dr was convinced things are happening, I.e. My cervix is softening and I was 1-2cm dialated. yesterday I walked around at Monte Casino. BUT NOTHING!!!

I will see the Dr later today and we will figure out what is happening with this boy.

Spirited Mama

x

Currently in the Spirited household…

By

On January 20, 2017

In Currently, Pregnancy

Here’s an update of life in Spiritville currently:

  • I am currently #37weekspregnant and awaiting the arrival of our resident alien. I saw my doctor on Wednesday and it seems things are starting to happen, I.e. My cervix is softened and I am 1-2cm dilated…eek this boy might be here by the weekend.
  • Having healthy breakfasts, as seen in the picture above, muesli and fresh pressed beetroot, carrot, Apple and ginger juice. Dude loves making fresh juices for us. He randomly decided that he needs to boost my immunity. Love this man!
  • Dudie has settled in so well in Grade 2. He seems to be liking his new teacher very much.
  • We haven’t quite gotten to scheduling all Dudie’s activities as things have changed, new schedules and time slots etc. We will be reloading his schedule…
  • Dudie is swimming in the school gala next week. My kid! At 7years old!
  • I am on sick leave until my maternity leave kicks in now…so technically I will only go back to work in the second half of the year.
  • I am registering for my final year of my studies. So excited!
  • The wait for the resident alien is killing Dude and Dudie. Seems I’m the only patient one at this stage.
  • I’m finally catching up on series and pvr’d programmes.

Happy Friday folks!

Spirited Mama

x

#TBT Stop and play with the bubblewrap

By

On January 19, 2017

In #TBT, Reflections

Sometimes, I need to remind myself to slow down and smell the roses….especially now as the resident alien’s birth date approaches…. #37weekspregnant

As I woke this morning, I’ve been reflecting on a few things in my life. I thought it would be fitting to do a #TBT and this post popped into my mind… “Stop and play with the bubblewrap”

I hope you are making time for the small things in life. Those things that actually count. Those that remain in your heart and soul. Those that create those little memories…

Spirited Mama

Learning to value MY own opinion

By

On January 17, 2017

In About me, emotions, Women

My opinion matters

I am learning to value and appreciate MY own opinion more and more each day. There was a time where I too was looking for my parents’ recognition BUT I am happy to report that those days are long gone. And guess what Life has been so much better since.

However, I am my worst critic…

I came across this post over at Tyranny of pink. So well said. It was and is what has been lying in my subconscious for a very very long time. Somehow, I just needed to get over myself and tell myself out old that “I AM ENOUGH”!

Spirited Mama

x

P.S. Tomorrow is #37weekspregnant. Dr will decide tomorrow if the resident alien should come this week or if we can wait until #38weekspregnant. I’m freaking out just a tad as it feels it’s happening too soon…

7 Tips to make your hospital stay more comfortable and enjoyable

By

On January 11, 2017

In choices, Hospitals

When you are admitted to hospital for an extended stay, like I currently am – I am on Day 6 now, #36weekspregnant and all is good with my and baby’s health- you may want to make your stay as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. Well, otherwise you may very well stand with your face pressed against your glass door, albeit in your private room, with a deep longing to run outside and be free.

These are my 7 tips for making your hospital stay more comfortable and enjoyable:

1. Try to stick to your normal routine as if you were at home, e.g. My beauty routine – not that you can even call it that but let’s go with it for now. I packed my beloved Garnier Micellar cleansing water as well as my Garnier Hydramatch moisturiser. Yes, I use my moisturiser as a night cream too, well when I remember to use it at night.  My skin always feels dehydrated in hospital so luckily I still had some Vitamen E body butter from the Bodyshop(by far one of my favourites to use for the whole family). My labello is a life saver. Dudie also uses it daily as he swims 5 times a week and his lips take a beating with the harsh chemicals in the swimming pool.

2. Take a roll or two of BabySoft toilet paper from home. The last thing you want is to be wiping daily with that awful hard Kimberley Clark dispensing toilet paper. Your ass will thank you…

3. Bring your own pillow, if you must. I use a special memory pillow and I know as soon as I use a different pillow my spine/neck or is always fucked. I really don’t need further treatment for things that can be avoided in hospital.

4. Bring loads of books to read. I love reading and can practically read anything. I am currently on some sort of Vampire book, which has been lying at home forever. Just figured now would be a great time to read it.

5. Catch up on personal admin. I have loads of things that I’m busy doing in my head but you know sometimes life get so busy that we never get around to it. I am taking it easy but also setting out some time each day to catch up on my admin.

6. Work and rework your budget. New Year = New Commitments.   For me January is the start of my financial year, why the fuck SARS starts in March and Government in July is beyond me. Along with the new year comes a crap load of things that need to be bought/paid etc. For starters, we settle Dudie’s annual tuition in January. Fuck its like buying a small car every year but at least then we know we never see an invoice about tuition again. Don’t get me wrong, we get numerous invoices throughout the year. Why? Because he is at an independent/private school and YOU as  the parents have to PAY for everything. So just pat yourself on the back for settling the tuition fees in January, grow some balls and pay whatever invoices comes your way. We also have all the extra mural activities, golf, cricket, violin and private swimming lessons. Let’s not even go into our general monthly household running expenses. Ooh, did I mention we are paying the unborn baby’s school fees into a savings account already? Well, cos we are proactive like that you know.

7. Discuss your food/dietary requirements with the hospital staff. I have been here before. I know the menu, it hasn’t changed since November when I was here. I have selected various options from all the different menu types available. Albeit the food is really good, I have designed my own menu. I eat the normal food, vegetatian food, the gluten and wheat free food, banting options and even some stuff from the gastro menu😂 I am currently eating from the long stay menu, who even knew that such a menu existed, but man I’ve have crumbed pork chops, schnitzels and schwarmas….I am not a big red meat fan so most of the vegetarian options have worked out fantastic. No I’m not vegetarian although Dudie and I prefer seafood than red meat.

Only you can make your stay as enjoyable as you want, given you have the right attitude and mindset. There is no point in fighting  the situation, if this is where you need to be. So my advice to you….Take care of YOU and YOUR needs.

Some other observations from my hospital bed:

  • Some people just shouldn’t be nurses. I mean if they don’t have a passion for nursing rather find another career please. Some people are born with the innate passion of caring for others. I am very lucky that I have an excellent day and night team at my hospital taking care of me and my unborn baby right now.
  • Get as much R&R as possible. I know its easier said than done, and I’m the last person to be lying in a bed but it is necessary.
  • If reading is not your thing then bring an Ipad or Notebook and catch up on some series.
  • Bring snacks…I nibble throughout the day so I packed On the go snack packs, Pringles, chocolate and some energade.
  • I got Dude to bring my hairdryer and GHD and voila I did my hair in hospital. I look better and feel better.
  • I made peace with my situation and only now starting to sleep, albeit interuppted stints,at least I’m getting some sleep.
  • I’m using this time to research some investment opportunites…

Ciao for now.

Spirited Mama

x

Page 12 of 36

Previous

Next

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: