Spirited Mama

Living a SPIRITED life filled with wanderlust, emotions and everything in between

My bones are UPGRADING…

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On August 19, 2016

In Dudie, Kids stuff, Parenting

As we were getting ready for the school day this morning Dudie comes limping into the kitchen and announces that he will now go and undress (note – he is fully dressed in school attire sans his jersey) as his stomach and legs and just all the bones are aching…I politely (read – I don’t have time for this shot this morning) say NO you most certainly will not. YOU will go to school. Please go and get done in your room and come sit down for breakfast. And don’t even think about moping around… Off he goes and comes back now fully kitted in school attire but being the rebel that he refuses to tie his one shoe lace.

Now I put his cereal and milk on the table for him so he literally just pours the milk into the bowl and has to eat. Dudie stands next to the table stares at the bowl and decided stuff it he is drinking his Airmune aka water medicine as we call it, and then just continues staring at this bowl. I announce aka warn that I am packing the car and we are leaving in 2 minutes, so eat if you want to. He just glares at me.

I come back and say right let’s move. Dudie now wants to pour milk into his bowl. I calmly state the obvious that he has now run out of time and that he will not have cereal this morning. (I have spoilt this child for far to long… Previously I would have sat down and just allowed him to have his cereal. But no more.) I say you can have a yoghurt or an apple on the way. Decide. He chooses the apple and off we go. Our drive to school is only about 5km’s and usually takes about 10 – 15 minutes but given that Dudie can distract himself from reality that time is not enough to eat that small apple… 2 minutes into the drive he pipes up, Mom should I eat the apple first or have my vitamin(I gave him a centrum chew tablet at home and he politely just kept it in his hand). Me – whatever just have it before we get to school.

Dudie is super proud and so are we of the fact that he can read. And I mean read proper words and sentences read. So he spells a few words so that I can help him with the pronunciation.

Me: Dudie if your bones are aching then how will you play soccer tomorrow? Remember you have a soccer match tomorrow.

Dudie: It’s fine. My bones are upgrading. It only takes like 20 hours so it’ll be done tomorrow. My legs, toes , ears and elbows are already done. So its just the other bones that need to upgrade.

I swear there is a reason why we face forward whilst driving with kids….I laugh internally and made a note to LOL later.Then Dudie changes the topic to heros and superheros. He then proceeds to tell me about how Superman dies in Batman VS Superman (note this is NOT my kind of movie and Dude and Dudie have seen it a few times) but somehow I am just not getting it. Mind you am trying to weave through the traffic and to ensure that cross over safely onto the school premises, so excuse me for not focusing 0n Batman or Superman. Dudie now clearly becomes annoyed with me and just says, It’s fine that you don’t get it. It’s complicated!

Seriously, my 6 year old telling me “it’s complicated” really??? Where did this child morph from? This is the product of a Spirited, strong willed, head strong, opinionated household….and we are adding another little person to this dynamic in Spiritville. Fun times lie ahead of us…

Happy Friday. My bones will be upgrading this weekend. Parenting can be hard at times but also SO rewarding and funny. Love this child! He reminds to laugh a little…and not be so serious all the time.

Spirited Mama

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Random update on Spiritville

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On August 18, 2016

In About me, Cancer, emotions

We have been sick and STILL are sick. Spiritville is flu and bronchitis breeding grounds right now…I had no choice but to start a course of antibiotics myself, even though I would rather not considering our resident alien aka baby in utero….but rather safe than sorry.

CANCER SUCKS!!!! Mamma is getting weaker by the day…I literally almost burst into tears when I saw a photo that was taken of her this morning… She is NOT the same person I saw 2 weeks ago…She is also not the same person in the photos that were taken last week. How does one even begin to comprehend what is happening to her right now. I am running things through my mind and thinking should I go to Cape Town tomorrow or should I go next week or the next? I just don’t know!

Dudie and I are at war it seems…we are constantly fighting and just not seeing eye to eye. It really tiring and emotionally draining. He challenges everything I say or do. Why is the universe out to get me???

I have deadlines and work etc etc etc…but that is just life in general. Right now with everything going on it just feels TOO much and I really just want to break out into an ugly cry all the time…I worry about the resident alien because all these emotions can’t be good…

Sorry that I have nothing positive today but right now I just want to hide under my desk and have my ugly cries….

Spirited Mama

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Siblings – building solid lasting relationships

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On August 12, 2016

In brothers, Dudie, emotions, New baby, Parenting, siblings, Uncategorized

The thought of Dudie growing up alone has always haunted me and for a very long long long time I wrestled with the idea of having another child. Well 2016 was apparently the year that we decided was a good year to grow Spiritville. In case you were not aware, yes we have a resident alien aka baby, due in Feb 2017…

The idea of having another little person to take care and be my responsibility until the day that I leave this earth is causing some lots of anxiety. But the idea is growing on me and luckily at a much faster rate than my belly…We are excited and nervous and happy and scared all at the same time. There is no handbook to guide you to raise your perfect little angel. We can only hope and pray that what we are doing and teaching our kid(s) will be sufficient for them to become admirable, strong, focused, resilient young adults someday…

Another pressing thought that has been weighing me down is the age gap between Dudie and the resident alien…they will have a SEVEN year gap. Now, I have always said that I am not cut out for two babies and if I ever had another child I will not have them on top of one another. A seven year gaps does give me some sort of a paralysed feeling because doing the math I realised that we would have a teenager and a toddler in the house. When Dudie starts high school, grade 8, then the resident alien would start grade 1…

This morning I found an article on ALL4WOMEN, fostering a strong relationship between siblings. It resonated with me not only because I have a sibling and although we have a 9 year age gap, I’m the older one, but also because I don’t think my parents actively tried to foster a stronger relationship between us. We, my brother and I, are steadily working on our relationship currently. Perhaps my parents just thought that we were generations apart and that they were unsure of how to salvage the gap in our relationship… I am keeping my anxiety at bay and trying to be proactive to foster a relationship between Dudie and his unborn brother…Oh yes, IT’S A BOY!!!

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I will constantly try my best to ensure that MY TWO boys will know that they are blood brothers and no matter what nothing and no one can take that away from them. What they make of their relationship is up to them but for as long as what I am around I will encourage, love and support their relationship.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Mamma had a biopsy but now we wait with baited breath. We will only know what the plan of action/way forward is next week once all the doctors have decided…If you missed it then read the post When CANCER happens…My family fights back

When CANCER happens…MY FAMILY FIGHTS BACK!

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On August 11, 2016

In Cancer, emotions, Family, Health, Uncategorized

So in my family we have been dealt a low blow this past Sunday.

Here’s a rough breakdown of the lead up to this past Sunday

2014 – My mom’s younger sister, aged 44 at the time, was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. Almost immediately had a mastectomy and chemotherapy followed by radiation therapy. In 2015 she was cancer free and we had a huge family celebration in her honour.

2016 – My mom’s youngest sister, also aged 44 at time of diagnosis, is diagnosed with breast cancer. Almost immediately,May 2016, had a double mastectomy. She is cancer free and will not be having chemotherapy nor radiation therapy. Last Sunday, the family had a huge celebration in her honour. Unfortunately, we missed it as we live in Gauteng and had already decided and booked flights to Cape Town for 5 August. I was sad that I missed it but something was knawing at me that we should just stick to our original dates and go to Cape Town as planned on 5 Aug.

So earlier this year I had a mammogram and sonars to check if there is anything to be concerned about… Well there are some minor issues but it’ll be monitored very closely. The doctor suggested that someone in our family should do the genetic test for CANCER. Well let’s just say that if the test results are positive and we have the cancer gene well then it’s a matter of When and not IF you get cancer. Let me just say that medical aids DO NOT cover the test and its about R10 000….So the youngest sister was waiting for confirmation from her medical aid to see if they were willing to assist with any sort of payment for this test… WE WAIT patiently.

Back to the past weekend, my Gran aka MAMMA (I literally feel as though she is my “real” mother. Dude says that I am like her 7th child) has been on/off sick with flu then apparently gall stones. On Saturday we see my Gran and we were shocked to see that she did not look well. She had lost weight and she was just not looking like her old self. She laughed and joked with us for a few hours and eventually we left. On Sunday, we get the call that she is not well and will be taken to Casualties. So most of the family treks to the hospital to go see Mamma. (Bear in mind that we have a very very  very big family. Security was taken aback that we ALL came to see the same person). We arrive to find her smiling smiling and all happy and bubbly in casualties. They do some tests and inform us that her liver is enlarged and is pushing against her lungs, which is causing difficulty breathing. Later, they discover a huge mass in her left breast and now suspect breast cancer. They run some more tests and think that it may have spread to the lungs… They have been doing tests ALL the time. We wait to hear the final results and what the way forward would be.

On Monday we visited Mamma in hospital and spend as much time as possible with her, given that we only had limited time and were  only allowed in one at a time. I got a brief period to tell her that I love her. The hardest part was saying goodbye as we had to come back to Pretoria on Monday evening. I told her that once we have more clarity on this  situation I will fly back to come see her.

Mamma is our go to person. She is the MATRIARCH of this family! She is So incredibly strong for all of us. She is happy and bubbly but I worry that none of us are there after visiting hours. None of us really sees what she is enduring. None of us knows what she is going through for as long as what I have been on this earth Mamma has always been smiling. (Hou altyd die blink kant bo – roughly translated into always keeping a brave and happy face) never letting it show if anything gets to her or gets her down.

I have been crying ALOT and as I sit here now I just can’t help myself… I have prayed and given this situation to GOD. As much as I want Mamma to make a full recovery, I don’t want her to go through any unnecessary trauma of surgeries etc…My biggest fear is her quality of life after surgery(ies)… I have seen what CANCER can do and it’s not what I want for Mamma. Mamma is the type of person who will be here the one day and gone the next. And everyone that knows her will know that that is how she wants to be remembered. All I want is for HER to make her OWN decision as to what she wants to do. This past weekend I saw that my family might not accept Mamma’s decision…and I worry that they will bully her into something that she did not want. It’s the hardest decision to just let go and let GOD be because we all want more time with a loved one but like I said it kills me to think of what quality of life she might have afterwards… Nothing has been finalised and no decisions have been made as yet.

I pray for my MAMMA…

Spirited Mama

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This was a random image I found on Pinterest…

LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE MAKING OTHER PLANS…JOHN LENNON

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On August 10, 2016

In emotions, Family, I am Beautiful, Women, Women's Day

So it was officially women’s day yesterday, 9 August  and yes I know there is alot of history behind but I will spare you the info (click here if you need to know why we celebrate women’s day). I just wanted this day for myself. You see I don’t have to do the usual school run or even go to work. Bless the government for giving WOMEN a special day and making it a public holiday. <Dear Government, My Dude is very pissed at you. He wants to know why MEN don’t have their own special day. But we will continue this conversation on another day…

So I wanted to lie in bed and have a hearty breakfast of Ferrero Rocher but alas….Let’s just say that my family has been dealt a few blows and we are still in shock and trying to just come to terms with the situation….

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On the other hand I have been receiving random emails about The Working Mothers Expo. Now initially I thought I was being spammed as usual. Probably someone wanting to hack my credit card but I ‘ve got news for you….you won’t get much >LOL! But it seems this expo is legitimate. I have been reading up on it and I am actually intrigued to find out more about it.

If you are interested go check it out The Working Mothers Expo. It’s happening 4-6 Nov 2016 in Sandton, Johannesburg.

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY to all the WOMEN out there. Enjoy you day off…

Be beautiful. Be brave. Be YOU!

Spirited Mama

P.S. I have these little conversations with myself, in my head, all the time. So I have now resorted to giving myself an inspirational pep talk. How do you like my motto for now?

Be beautiful. Be brave. Be YOU!

P.P.S. I had a draft of this post but I just couldn’t bring myself to log on yesterday. I edited this post because of course now it was completely out of context. Many tears were shed yesterday but I read somewhere that “tears are liquid prayers”. Today I feel a sense of calm but yet the uncertainty and anxiety is eating at me…Today might not be a great day but perhaps tomorrow will be. I will try again tomorrow.

 

Random ramblings

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On August 5, 2016

In Food & drinks, New baby, Uncategorized

It’s FRIDAY!!!! Whoohoooooo

Well in Spiritville this week surely took its own damn time. Even though we had a mini break on Wednesday as it was Voter’s Day ( I sincerely hope you made your mark as I did – your vote will only matter if you vote. Period. End of Story. I die a small death every time I hear someone say “my vote doesn’t matter so I why bother”. It is because of such attitudes that we miss the plot and that our RAND plummets every time there is anything remotely political being publicized.)

It’s been cold and warm in the same week, I think I even felt it on the same day too. Just love Pretoria Winters. But it does mess with your wardrobe a bit as you are not sure what would be appropriate attire. Well LAYERING is all that I can say…

On my drive in to the office this morning I realised that I really can’t imagine having weetbix for breakfast. I would much rather prefer some cooked oats. Well I didn’t have the luxury of time (for breakfast) this morning although I did manage to wash and dry my hair in record time, I made a quick pitstop at KFC. I was going to get the oats but then I couldn’t find it on the menu. However, the A.M. Riser caught my eye and that is what I got. Best R21.90 ever spent.

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Oh how I miss my coffee. Decaf is just not cutting it for me. It didn’t do the trick when I was with child almost 7 years ago and it’s definitely not cutting right now either. I have done the hot chocolate, hot milo, cold milo, tea etc…but I JUST CAN’T GET OVER MY COFFEE….

Have a great FRIDAY.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I have an official viewing of our Resident Alien later today. We will be taking Dudie along this time. That boy is so excited to see the baby.

Mommy needs a time-out!!!!

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On August 2, 2016

In emotions, Parenting

Mommy needs a time-out!!! Mommy is tired and may I add pregnant and somewhat emotional. Mommy’s patience have run out and mommy seems to be losing her shit all the time. Mommy feels overworked, over stressed and exhausted. Did I mention PREGNANT. Oh the ALL DAY morning sickness with the actual expulsion of any food intake or whatever may be left in my tummy or first thing in the morning is just a marvelous way to get a head start to your day. I have been feeling crap and behaving badly and all I want is for my 6 year old to get done in the morning. For fuck sake, what is SO difficult about getting done. He eventually gets out of bed and if I don’t physically police him to get his shit done he will look at random photos in his room, which have been there like forever, perhaps read a book, perhaps just stand on the bed naked and just stare at the fucking wall, etc… I wish this was all in my head but alas it’s our reality. True as shit this boy will be fucking late for school everyday until I lose my shit and then have to drive as if being chased by the devil himself to make that 4km drive to school.

I have decided that I am done. I will NOT be helping with homework. I will not be checking that you have the proper attire for the day. I will NOT be checking everything that I always use to because quite frankly Mommy needs a break and she is damn well taking it. I am not sure if one day will do the trick or perhaps I need a few days but my oh my I feel as if I have to do EVERYTHING!

Being a involved, hands-on parent is extremely hard work. Hats off to all those who parent! Sometimes I need to remember that I too am a person. And I too need a break.

I could so curl up in a warm bed with a good book, some hot chocolate and lots and lots of chocolate….Oh, and someone to wait on me hand and foot and bring me room service whenever I ring my proverbial bell. I think I need a hotel stay!

Spirited Mama

Here are some random images that I had on my hard drive that made me laugh out loud with a few snot bubbles…Enjoy.Sometimes I take things way to seriously….

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Tooth fairy never visited us last night….

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On July 28, 2016

In Dudie, Parenting, Struggles

Omg, the tooth fairy never visited us last night. It was a complete fail on us as the parents as we totally forgot about the tooth fairy….

Now, Dudie is 6 and happily believes in the tooth fairy. And for our own sanity we let him. I mean I was shattered when I found out that the Tooth Fairy, Santa and the Easter Bunny were not real….I will let him believe as long as his imagination will allow.

So Dude and I fetch Dudie at school yesterday and Dudie pipes up “Mom, look at my tooth.” Now this very incisor has been loose for a while but not quite ready to be removed sans Dentist. So I said ok that tooth is ready to come out, let Dad take it out. For the record I don’t pull teeth. Never have. Never will. I will nurture and teach you the importance of hygiene and how to take care of those pearly whites but I WILL NoT pull teeth….

So in the school parking lot Dude takes on the mission of “Incisor extraction”. I say guys really there will be blood and we are in the parking can this not wait until we get home? Dude says  no cos he wants to go to Pick n Pay Hypermarket and Dudie says Mom, you try pulling my tooth…. I very firmly tell this child that I will not pull that tooth and 1,2,3 Dude pulls the tooth and Dudie yells, “Is there blood? Mom let me borrow your little mirror.” Yes there was blood. Yes I took a very quick look and said well done Dudie another tooth is out and soon another big boy tooth will be there.

We proceeded to go do some random shopping for light bulbs at Pick n Pay Hyper, yes we drove past many smaller shops where we could have found required light bulbs but Dude NEEDED to go to Hyper. Alas we bought a trolley of food and unnecessary things but hey let me not complain about being blessed.

back to the tooth fairy. So Dudie puts the tooth in a little box and under his pillow and goes to bed last night, with high hopes of a visit from the tooth fairy.

This morning low and behold Dudie was a complete monster when we had to get ready for school and work, bear in mind Dude leaves very early so we don’t see him in the morning. So I had a complete WTF moment, we have been having these mornings more often than not and I just had enough. Now, I pray for patience and I thought Lord, is this where I exercise patience? Well, after a altercation with mom and a very stern loud voice, Dudie shedding crocodile tears and feeling sorry for himself shouting I hate you, you the worst mommy I ever knew. I find this child sitting in the bathroom all sad. He says the tooth fairy gave me nothing. Omg, we completely forgot!!!

I jumped at the opportunity and explained, “remember I told you before that the tooth fairy watches your behavior. Maybe she wasn’t happy with your behavior and thought maybe you needed some reminding to behave better?” So let’s get done and get you to school. Perhaps think about your behavior and attitude and try again tonight. Maybe the tooth fairy will come by tonight.

Some days I just feel that parenting is soooooo hard. It tests me, it pushes me, it grills me, it tires me, it challenges my being, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I love my child but whoa sometimes I feel like I have no idea of what I’m doing….

How much does the tooth fairy give per tooth these days? I used to get 20cents and that was a small fortune back then. Sometimes even up to R1/R2 per tooth. Lol….

cheers

Spirited Mama

P.S. So Dudie was late for school. I walked him to his class and told him that he can own up for his actions and explain to his teacher why he is late today. I will not be going into the class as I am not responsible for this action. At least my child knows to man up for his actions.

Hong Kong

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On July 25, 2016

In Bucket List, Holidays, Uncategorized

We recently took some time out and went to Hong Kong for some R & R…..It was amazing and hot and wonderful. Filled with crazy adventures and my S Health App going bezerk at my daily step count cos whoa baby I must have clocked a month’s steps in 7 days….

We did fly out in business class and had those luxury lie flat beds…what a way to travel. If there is one thing that should be mandatory for a bucket list it would be to travel in business class on a long haul flight…Thank you for your hospitality SAA. <Sidebar – one day when I am big I want to travel in Upper class with Virgin or first class with Emirates…just for those PJs>

When we left SA it was Winter, when we arrived in Hong Kong it was full blown Summer, like 38 degrees and humid as hell Summer. We loved it though. We even loved the light afternoon showers on two days that cooled us down whilst shopping at the markets. The city came alive at night with its bright lights and the streets were buzzing with people. I was in awe at how at 11pm it seemed like it was possibly 4/5 PM…We travelled by bus/train/taxi…and yes it was surprisingly easy to find our way around the city and various islands.

The fruit in this place is absolutely amazing. As my resident Alien, aka new baby, is still killing me with the ALL DAY vomiting and morning sickness(yes I puke even through my prescribed meds) the sweet fruits like melons, pineapples and grapes brought some respite. I had actually forgotten what my first pregnancy was like until this morning sickness violently kicked in. Now before you go bonkers I did get an all clear from my doctor to travel beforehand and had to solemnly swear that I would eat only proper cooked foods and NO sushi…

We ended our holiday with a trip to Hong Kong DisneyLand. Now let me point out that it is a crap load of money just to enter the park but it is so worth it! Dudie kept saying it’s his bestest day ever.

We left Hong Kong with suitcases that were ready to pop, no literally. I had Dude sit on each and every bag as I closed it up before we left… I made them vow not to attempt to open those bags until we are back home in South Africa. We arrived back to whopping 4 degrees in Johannesburg.

Here’s to planning our next holiday…Dude is already thinking of island destinations to take a newborn…

Spirited Mama

P.S. So I took my shoes off for the duration of the return flight…an low and behold I could not get the damn shoes back on when we had to get off in Johannesburg. I was very close to just walking barefeet  cos I just could not get my swollen feet into the shoes. Note to self keep flipflops in carry on luggage next time.

Our resident ALIEN…aka baby

By

On July 19, 2016

In Family, New baby, Parenting, Uncategorized

YES, we are having a baby. It’s happening. This baby will be making an appearance very close to our 10 year wedding anniversary. So what an awesome gift! When I showed Dudie a scan and an early foetal development video he aptly responded….is that the baby? looks like an alien.

Of course everyone is totally beside themselves with JOY and so too am I . I was very reluctant and hesitant but it seems things have a way of working out for the greater good. I am longing and yearning for this baby as much as Dude and Dudie.

It’s going to be an adjustment as it’ll be like starting over. Dudie will be 7 when this baby arrives.
So here’s to us having a super awesome sorted baby routine in no time….Hey don’t judge I can wish can’t I. At this stage I can’t think of sleepless nights, breastfeeding, purity and nappies etc…

Spiritville is growing…

Spirited Mama

P.S. did I mention that I will be in my final year of studies when this baby arrives…OMG we will cross that bridge when we get there.

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